William Casey Farar 11/12/1946-12/31/1997
December 31, 1997 is a day in my life and the lives of many others that will never be forgotten. The life of my “daddy”, Bill Farar, was cut much too short. Leaving a legacy of one of the greatest high school teachers (Spanish, DECA, Drivers Education), a local business owner (Bill’s Baseball Cards), an avid car salesman, a profound Announcer at all of the high school football games, a husband, a brother, a father to six children, and a “papa” to seven grandchildren (and my greatest fan)…all of these at the time of his death. As you can see he was a multi-tasker who exemplified nothing shy of pure “passion” in everything he ever attempted/accomplished in his lifetime. What a beautiful legacy he left for all of us to remember and cherish!
You may ask why am I sharing this? I was 18 yrs old and in my first year of college. My dad was nothing short of my “loudest and greatest” fan. His support and appearance driving all over the state to every volleyball match, basketball game, or track and field meet inspired me to continue to pursue my track and field dreams. On New Years Eve, my freshman year, my heart was shattered and my dreams were broken. The man behind the scenes, who was a part of the passion and drive, would no longer be apart of my journey. The loudest voice in the stands as I raced over each hurdle was now just dust in the wind! Devastation is an understatement to describe that day and the years to follow.
His suicide, so out of character, a shock to a small community where to this day it was one of the largest funerals with over 1,500 in attendence. Taking a 12 gauge shot gun to his abdomen, and a notebook full of suicide letters for each of us children and my mother found nearby, were all he left us with besides a legacy of man with pure passion for life! Everything seemed surreal and nothing made sense.
My mother was contacted later by activists againat SSRI’s. I was selected and chosen for a scholarship in English to spend an entire semester researching a subject of choice and presenting the final project, an essay, to a commmitee or board of community members. I immediately felt the need to research the impact of SSRI’s and the link to suicide and depression. Not only was it a huge part if my healing process less than a year later, but it provided every answer to all this questions that raced through ny mind and still do. My anger or sadness towards the man I lived more than anything became channeled towards multiple drug companies that are taking the lives of so many innocent people daily, still 17 years later. The people we trust with our health and our well being, are being flourished by multi billion dollar drug companies and their drug reps to push these SSRI’s to be patients. They are being sold as “happy pills”, only to alter all of the chemicals in the brain and create a disaster. Each disaster is different as each human brain is different and no “pill or doseage” can be compatible for one patient and their chemical or genetic make-up as it is the next.
Why don’t they prescribe meth amphetamines or cocaine to every patient who is suffering from complaints of lack of energy, caused from fibromyalgia? What about pure MDMA, aka esctacy known as a stimulant to increase the chemicals which create “happy” or “sad” emotions, to increase happiness in a clinically depressed person? The type of strain or exact same piece of marijuana can have a total different effect on two people the exact same size who consume it the exact same way. The same glass of wine or shot of liquor can have two different effects on two different people. The tolerance of pain medication for two people the exact same size, height and weight, can have completely different effects on each person who consume the medication the same way. No medication or drug is the correct fix for one person as it is the next. There is no prejudice or no difference when applying this thought process to SSRI’s also known as “anti-depressants”. However, the risks and result or outcome of the problem is much more deadly and violent than any other street drug, and these are legal drugs being prescribed by legal Dr.’s and Psychiatrists who are licensed and trained, specializing in the work they do. Why then are so many Dr.’s after years of the medication being in the market, still treating patients with these deadly combinations? Perhaps lack of knowledge, looking for an easy fix (maybe for one not for all), the percs that are offered by so many of these reps, and really how many of these doctors actually care or are aware of the dangers and effects of these medications. Why have Countries not banned these drug companies who continue to make billions and then settle out if court with gag orders for millions just to protect their name and continue to be a part of so many violent acts of rage that kill hundreds, suicides that go unnoticed, and multiple deaths every hour taking place all over the world?
My dad was prescribed these lethal drugs, which have been approved by the FDA, in a short period of three months prior to his suicide. The FNP first started with prescribing Prozac and attempted different doses and immediately stopped the medication without tapering. Then after little success or complaints of being more depressed, quickly changed to Paxil and the doseages were increased rapidly in attempt to find “the right dose”, still no results, the medication was immediately stopped again without tapering. The final deadly combination of Luvox turned in to a disaster, and the amount prescribed fluctuated and then increased rapidly. Even after multiple complaints and a complete 360 in his personality changes, the doseage continued to increase. I remember being home for Christmas break, less than two weeks before his death, and seeing him during a small rage. It was like he was possessed by a demon, with sweat pouring down his face, his eyes glassed over, and a look on his face that I have never seen before. Still seventeen years later, I have a clear picture, of this man who was not my father, in my head. At the time, I had been away at College and not aware of any medications he had been taking, and I was terrified of him. I can only imagine the hours before his death, the thoughts racing his mind, the tears streaming down his face, and the person he was while writing his last letters. Perhaps seeing him in this “demon like stage”, and these horrific images, were made known to me as a comfort or answers to his suicide. I know my dad was not the man that raised me for eighteen years, when he pulled the trigger that cold New Years Eve Day. The passion he had for life, and the love for his family, was far more important to him than anything in this world. Yet the side effects of Luvox was far more overpowering than any of his human characteristics or mind control. The chemicals in his brain were altered so far beyond his control, that ability to take control of his thoughts was no longer possible. Compare it to a person high on street drugs or a blackout drunk in the bar, unfortunately as family we were unaware of all these deadly side effects or the signs leading up to it, to help him before it was too late.
This happens way too frequently. Three years ago my Uncle from my mother’s aide if the family ended his life in a bizarre suicide sovout of character ad well. He had been on Luvox also for a short period of time and the descriptions of his death are unfathomable for his character. Unlike my father who was the outgoing, outspoken, extrovert, my Uncle was so calm, shy, soft spoken, again with a deep love for family and his career. With no signs leading to his suicide, he was a large man in stature with a huge heart, and crawled underneath a small travel trailor with barely enough room for him to scoot his large body. With ducktape he covered his mouth, and also bound his hands together, and suffocated in a painful death. The family thought he was missing and searched for hours before they found his limp body underneath the trailor on the side of the house. The temperature and AZ heat made it not possible for family to even have an open casket viewing. A great man who left behind his wife, two children, and grandchildren with nothing but questions we all ask ourselves in these bizarre deaths/suicides.
For those who have researched and have knowledge about these medications, I call the deadliest drugs on the market, it is clear that the medication is to blame and not the person or their loved ones.
Well, how can we stop this epedimic? Share the knowledge, Dr. Ann Blake-Tracy has educated millions by sharing these stories and then other people sharing their stories through the education she has provided. She has provided peace and comfort for those loved ones left behind with the answers they may have never received. The comfort she provides not only the loved ones that become victims of the SSRI’s, but the other innocent victims of the unfortunate who murders hundreds and even take their own lives.
I am grateful the demons created by these medications did not take the life of my mother or siblings before the life of my father. So easily, the will to not live but the passion for his family, he could have taken our lives as well. Just like the school killings where the students target either chosen people or innocent bystanders before their own lives.
Yet, as millions are uneducated about these lethal drugs in the market, society blames the person behind the trigger and not the manufacturer that continues to make billions, while millions suffer every minute or every hour all over the world. Please share your story or the knowledge you may have with others so more families do not have to learn how they could have saved their loves ones. Help prevent others of falling into the trap that Physicians may potentially place another beautiful soul!
Thank you Dr. Ann Blake-Tracy for dedicating your life to helping educate others and comforting loved ones left behind. Let’s pray that the FDA can take these drugs off the market! As we all know, no amount of money can bring back the death of a loved one!
My heart still aches but I know I will hold you again and feel your warm embrace. The love you shared and the impact you had on students/community is what makes the fact you are no longer here easier to go on.
I’ll never forget the good times. You were my greatest fan, you made the crowd come alive, and you pushed me to excel and never give up on my dreams. I wish you were here for so many things, but that is when you show me a sign that you are there and not far away: a rainbow, rain drops, special heart rocks, or your other sacred ways! Thank you for being my guardian angel and sparing my life at times I should not have survived.
God needed you for greater work, and he knew we would miss you but that we would survive. You are the best daddy I could have asked for and the years I spent being able to call myself a “daddy’s girl” have left footprints on my heart forever.
PLEASE ANYONE WHO KNEW MY DAD SHARE A MEMORY YOU MAY HAVE OR SIMPLE THOUGHTS THAT COME TO MIND! THESE SPECIAL COMMENTS/MEMORIES HELP FILL THE VOID AND MAKE DAYS LIKE TODAY BE ABLE TO BE A DAY OF CELEBRATION BY REMEMBERING AND CHERISHING HIS LIFE IN A GOOD WAY!! THANK YOU ALL… DADDY YOU ARE GONE BUT YOU ARE NEVER FORGOTTEN!!