I was on Cymbalta 90 mg for approximately 4 years. During this time I was also prescribed Temazepam for sleep and Xanax .05 prn for anxiety. I took everything as prescribed but was noticing side effects, such as ”brain zaps” after a late or missed dose. I knew something was wrong but did not know how to go about getting off Cymbalta.
In June 2008 my son found me unconscious on the kitchen floor, with a suicide note at my side. He called 911, but hid the suicide note. This was the start of a 15 day nightmare in the local hospital’s ICU. I was not breathing on arrival & had to be put on a ventilator for two days minimum. From here the details are not clear to me. The hospital called in an addiction specialist, I believe they did a rapid detox with Ativan. This only made me sicker. I was still in the ICU, suffering from extreme hallucinations while i was getting visited from friends and family. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I was told that on several accounts that my requests for basic needs were denied because I was ”crazy”. When they finally got me off Ativan, I was sent to the psychiatric floor for approximately 36 hours. Upon my release the psychiatrist told me to go home and continue on the medication. The same medication which they had detoxed me for only I knew better and now am completely drug free and have never felt better. I have since tried to get answers about my ordeal, but haave hit a brick wall. Several doctors have told me to forget about it, one local psychiatrist even told me that I should let him hypnotize me so i would forget about the whole ordeal. I would just like my story to be documented in hopes that it might prevent someone else from going through such a horrible ordeal.
Paragraph six reads: “Supervising Deputy Coroner Kelly
Keyes said the following drugs were found in Pang’s system: citalopram
[Celexa] (antidepressant), dihydrocodeine (pain reliever),
hydrocodone (pain reliever), lorazepam (anti-anxiety medication), oxycodone
(pain reliever), oxymorphone (pain reliever) and THC (ingredient in marijuana).
January 11, 2010 | 7:13 pm
The death of 42-year-old Newport
Beach financier Danny Pang has officially been ruled a suicide caused by the
combined effect of seven drugs, the Orange County Sheriff-Coroner’s Department
Pang was found unconscious Sept. 11, 2009, in his
Newport Beach home and was taken to Hoag Hospital, where he died the next day.
His death came less than two months after an Orange County federal grand
jury accused Pang of concealing more than $300,000 from the government. The FBI
also alleged he stashed gold bullion in a hidden safe.
Pang was also
facing an SEC lawsuit for allegedly misappropriating millions of dollars from
investors through his company Private Equity Management Group Inc. in Irvine.
He denied any wrongdoing and was free on a $1-million bond at the time
of his death.
Supervising Deputy Coroner Kelly Keyes said the following
drugs were found in Pang’s system: citalopram (antidepressant), dihydrocodeine
(pain reliever), hydrocodone (pain reliever), lorazepam (anti-anxiety
medication), oxycodone (pain reliever), oxymorphone (pain reliever) and THC
(ingredient in marijuana).
Pang first made headlines in 1997 when his
wife, a former stripper, was shot to death in their home. No one has been
convicted of the crime.
— Corina Knoll
NOTE FROM Ann Blake-Tracy:
32 year old with this combination of drugs? This is far too similar
a combination of prescriptions that young healthy soldiers are returning
home on and dying in their sleep.
TMZ reported were Topamax, anti-seizure medication, Klonopin and Ativan for
anxiety and the pain relievers Klonopin, Ativan, Vicoprofen,
Hydrocodone. Also, depression medication Fluoxetine [PROZAC ] and
hypertension medication Propranolol.”
Brittany Murphy’s autopsy report is on LOCKDOWN! The
list of prescription drugs that were found in the house were leaked to TMZ and
made public. Included in the drug list that TMZ reported were Topamax,
anti-seizure medication, Klonopin and Ativan for anxiety and the pain relievers
Klonopin, Ativan, Vicoprofen, Hydrocodone. Also,
depression medication Fluoxetine and hypertension medication
TMZ received notes laying out the timeline of
Brittany’s death on Sunday morning. The information was apparently
confidential and was not authorized for the media to publish. The
investigators don’t know where the information came from or how TMZ got a hold
of the information.
TMZ would not say where the information was
The investigators are not confirming that the prescription drug
list that was leaked is the same as to what they found at the house. The
investigators are now searching for whoever leaked the
Toxicology tests may take 4-8 weeks to confirm exact cause
of death. For now, Brittany has died from “natural” causes meaning there
is not visual trauma to her body leading to her death.
“Through all the experiences with these drugs, I think they should be banned. I don’t believe a one of them helped me in the long run.”
I am 18 yrs old, since the age of 12 I have been on, Ativan, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa, Lexapro, Klonopin, Prozac, probably more in fact, I’d say I took most of the popular ones on the market.
Through all the experiences with these drugs, I think they should be banned. I don’t believe a one of them helped me in the long run, temporarily it may have, because some of them were narcotics. But to this day, at 18 yrs old, I know I will never be me again, I know somehow, someway it altered my personality for life, which is the most frustrating feeling a person can have in my opinion, wanting to be what is rightfully yours, yourself.
At the moment, I am coming off Lexapro, and I was only on this drug for 3 weeks, a small dose also, 10MG. Yet, I am having the same withdrawal affects as I did on Paxil, and Zoloft that I took for many months, the ‘shocks’ I like to call them, some people explain them with dizzy spells, electricity racing through the body, as if it releases through the brain, through the rest of your body, It truly makes me sick to my stomach when I see commercials on these drugs saying, Zoloft is not habit forming, Paxil is not habit forming. Because if your body has such horrible symptoms from not having a substance, is that not classified as habit-forming? Not habit forming, but yet if I took one of my pills right now, those symptoms would suddenly cease to exist, if that’s not habit-forming to your body, then I have no idea what is.
These drugs have made me high, they have made me low, they’ve made me hallucinate, paranoid, delusional, scared to death, crazy, suicidal, apathetic, detached, and most of all, they’ve made me not me. Which angers me more than anything. I look at the these drug industries, just like I look at a corporations like Phillip Morris. Who distribute harmful habit-forming substances to the ignorant. For the simple purpose of making handfuls of money, cause I believe that is the root of all evil. I am sympathetic to people who suffer with any form of mental illness, cause in the long run, it gets very hopeless if these drugs don’t work for you, cause you know there is something wrong, you take these drugs, they may work, they may not. If they don’t, then what? Do you continue looking for a simple-answer locked up inside a small pill.
That you really don’t understand what place they play in your body. Or do you stay with your natural self, and still feel terrible, That’s where the hopelessness comes from to many, although, I believe there is other possibilities,
For each individual out there, this will differ, some can cope simply by talking, others reading, some people take the destructive route, which I have, and many others continue to, drugs, alcohol. But even as I did take these various routes, there was/is something missing, but people must look, and continue to look. Although it’s a difficult way to live, there is still hope, I don’t think the answer lies inside a man-made pill. But that’s me, I am reluctant to recommend these drugs to people finding out they have a form of mental illness and are recommended medication, for the simple reason of uncertainty.
So many things can go wrong on them, At this point in history I truly don’t know if man-kind is ready to start messing with what makes up everything we are, the brain. It seems as if humans likes to start messing with things before they fully understand them, which I think is very dangerous. That seems logical to me, But when I ask doctors, why am I having these symptoms, from this drug, that is supposed to be so safe, I get, “I don’t know.”
As for me I will stop taking all these drugs, There is a few of them on my list above that I would do about anything to get off the market. So, ask questions, do research, don’t jump onto the long road of experimenting with this uncertain branch of drugs, for your son, daughter, yourself, or any loved one for that matter.
I will never trust such a self-serving inhumane profession as psychiatry.
Dear Ann Blake-Tracy,
This is my story…if you decide to publish it online or anywhere else, please keep my e-mail, name and ID confidential. I am filing a complaint against my doctor with the state regulatory board and hope someday to find some closure on what was absolutely the most traumatic, horrific experience of my life. Thanks for reading!
First, I should tell you about myself before Zoloft. I have always enjoyed working and being around people. My favorite things are having dinner parties, going to art shows and theatre events. I have never collected unemployment or accepted any type of handout in my life and I take a great deal of pride in both my self-sufficiency and sociability. When I experienced some depression in my late 20’s it confused me. I felt like I wasn’t myself and didn’t really know what to do. So after trying everything from exercise, acupuncture, St. John’s and so forth, I did, for the first time in my 28-year old life, what I thought was the responsible thing to do: I sought “help”.
After six months of psychotherapy, the therapist told me my problem felt “organic” to her meaning not related to psychological problems. I was subsequently referred to a psychiatrist who prescribed ativan and told me I might be unipolar depressive, dysthymic, or possibly bipolar. Actively suicidal after considering what the effect of this diagnosis would have on my life and long-term treatment, I was hospitalized and prescribed Zoloft (100mg/day). Within a month on Zoloft I had experienced my first suicide attempt. This happened after I spent a six hour period running down the street naked underneath a fur coat in the pouring ran without realizing the ridiculousness of what I was doing because I was feeling high all the time, taking ativan liberally, and experiencing intense alcohol cravings. My behavior alienated my family and friends and ruined numerous lifelong alliances I had prior to Zoloft. Everyone thought I had gone off the deep end, including me to some degree. I trusted my doctor completely at that point when he said I had a “chemical imbalance” and that I would take prescribed drugs for “the rest of my life”. After a series of numerous mood-stabilizers and other drugs used to treat manic-depressives I was not doing any better. In fact, my situation had only continues to deteriorate. It was a year later before I started to say to my doctor, “hey! You know what? I’m not getting any better and in fact I’m getting worse!” He couldn’t have agreed less. Said I didn’t have any “insight”.
After frantic calls to his office begging for help to get off the drugs then trying (unsuccessfully) to go off the drugs without his help, I suffered one more suicide attempt. Enough was enough. I knew it was the drugs and didn’t care if no one believed me. I went from gainfully employed, intelligent and self-sufficient to reckless, unemployable, brain-dead and dependent all in a matter of two years. All I can say is, it is your life to lose. If you choose to take Zoloft then realize that your life could seriously be put in danger – and nobody, not even your doctor will be able to save you if all hell breaks loose because he/she doesn’t even really know what the long-term side effects are.
The good news is that I have been off the drugs since and knowing what I know now will never trust such a self-serving inhumane profession as psychiatry. My doctors only stood to make more money by keeping me in the prison of psych drugs so there was little incentive for him provide alternative healing or to try and get me off the drugs he prescribed until it is too late. (By the way he never admitted that he failed to monitor my side effects or reported any of my suicide attempts to the FDA).
Until doctors admit failing their patients miserably on this issue and take strides to prevent drug companies from propagandizing drugs and myths about depression and its treatment, then more and more people like me are going to start coming out of the woodwork. If you care about your families and loved ones please get the word out! SSRI’s can be extremely dangerous and can even be deadly. Take it from me, I know from first hand experience and was lucky enough to survive the ordeal, however many are not as lucky as me.
This is Survivor Story number 39.
Total number of stories in current database is 48
My doctor said it was clinical depression. It did not occur to me that it could be a real reaction to real things, not just a chemical imbalance.
Hello. I have PTSD and recently have become very depressed, despite the fact that my boyfriend and I have been fighting, I got into a car accident, I realized that I did not want to study what I was almost ready to graduate in, started a new job and gained weight….
My doctor said it was clinical depression. It did not occur to me that it could be a real reaction to real things, not just a chemical imbalance. Like she had said.
I know I have PTSD – but mine has not made me sad. But being a trusting person I listened to them when they told me to take medication….
They prescribed Paxil and Ativan. When my doctor was writing the prescription for Ativan – I told her I absolutely did not want to take that because I had read about the different types of medications and that class of drugs was addictive and I did not want to take drugs long term. Mind you I am already paranoid of medications. As a survivor of horrendous child abuse, I fear any MIND ALTERING substance. When I told my doctor know, she asked why…she then preceded to tell me to just take it if I get “panicky” and related to the feeling I get when something bad happens and I feel overwhelmed. She said it would be ok. I reluctantly took the prescription and told her repeatedly that I would probably never take it…
I also went into full detail of the stories I had heard about in the Prozac family of people killing themselves out of the blue. She reassured me that is for people that were previously psychotic…and that it only happened when these drugs first came out and that it only happened because some psychiatrist thought since it worked so well on depression it might work on other things…and assured me that it was because they had previously wanted to commit suicide. NEVER mentioning any of the side effects, aside from nausea, dry mouth and “initial anxiety”.
So she gave me the trial month – with no insertions. I took one about 5 hours ago. And then my friends mom called and we were talking, I was telling her about taking Paxil. She said be careful – those make people go nuts. She said her friend hung himself and then I stopped her, I was already scared. I dont have any suicidal thoughts, let alone, homicidal thoughts. I did not want to hear this. Now I feel high and stiff. And I dont like it. After she told me that I went on the internet and looked up “suicide and Paxil” and came up with so many horror stories of people going crazy. And I even read the drug information on the homepage of the drug company…and it names so many. I learned that it can cause seizures (which I had when I was an infant and my doctor knows) it says most people feel anxiety – which is already a problem I have – I dont need to feel more – I read that it says you can have nameless amounts of things. Not to mention it said the doctors normally prescribe them with an anti-anxiety so in case the person feels “agitated, homicidal, aggressive or suicidal” they can take those and calm down (a.k.a…pass out). This is not ok. I cant believe my doctor recommended them to me especially when I told her that I WOULD NOT TAKE THE ANTI-ANXIETY MEDICINE… I told her I would fill it but would not take it out of fear.
I am so freaked out.
I feel for you and I am sorry that happened to your Matthew and hope that in some way you know that you convinced me not to take this anymore. I will go to sleep praying I will be okay through the night. God bless you.
This is Survivor Story number 6.
Total number of stories in current database is 96
To all who read this letter , make no mistake about it . This can happen to you .
On August 31, 1998 I had quit smoking with the assistance of the nicotine patch. After three days of use I started to experience excessive anxiety and felt a medical opinion was necessary.
I entered my local ER and was seen by a physician whose instructions were to continue the use of the patch. He prescribed Xanax for the anxiety, and instructed me to return if the symptoms persisted or if I experienced any side affects from the drug.
After four days of using Xanax, I began to experience mass confusion, racing thoughts, intense anxiety, negative personally changes, amplified sounds, excessive pacing, in addition to physical symptoms which included urinary retention, involuntary muscular movement, tachycardia, loss of appetite, and sleeplessness.
On the morning of Sept 6, 1998 my husband took me back to the ER when I was treated by another physician, blood testing revealed toxic level of nicotine, his discharge diagnosis was “nicotine toxicity/possible nervous breakdown.”
He administered an injection of Ativan (same drug as Xanax ) along with another drug PO (Inapsine) given at the hospital, and two sleeping pills(Ambien) for later that night. I would like to note I was unable to explain my condition due to my mental state and at this point I accepted treatment as given and have limited recollection of this visit.
Due to the Ativan my symptoms worsened after I returned home. At 7:00p.m. Saturday night I was experiencing what was later diagnosed as a drug induced psychoses. My husband took me back to the ER and I was now under the care of a third doctor.
In spite of my husbands continued efforts to tell him my condition was due to a drug reaction (I was unable to coherently explain) the Dr. insisted I sign myself into a psychiatric unit, knowing he was misdiagnosing my condition I refused. He then abruptly told my husband there was to be no more talking and stated “the state has to commit her.” He exited the room and proceeded to call crisis intervention.
At this time my husband was under the impression they were going to send me to the state hospital, (he never looked at the voluntary commitment papers and did not understand what they were) he began to scold me for not signing the papers, his impression was, the papers were consent to admit to a medical floor. He was upset with my decision not to remain at the hospital. Although he did not agree with the recommendation of a state hospital he was not aware he had any control in the decision and did not challenge the doctors expertise. In an attempt to escape this terrible situation, I announced I was leaving, my husband stated “go ahead and leave.”
I attempted to leave the hospital when I was forcefully stopped in the hallway by personnel, I momentarily lost conciseness which went unnoticed and I was then picked up by my legs and arms, my shirt was up around my neck, with my breasts exposed, carried back to the room thrown onto the genre, and as they held me down I was given an injection of Droperidol. With three men present (no females) they announced they were going to undress and gown me, I resisted fiercely to protect my privacy and as a result I was restrained. I would like to add the restraint record reflects alternative measures were taken to this action and I can only say this is a blatant lie to which my family will verify.
I laid screaming, now more intense and extremely agitated, and Im sure, this was due to adverse affects from the droperidol as there was no calming effects whatsoever, and after 2 injections in a 2 hour period I would think, I would be heavily sedated. I find it amazing none of the professionals recognized this and in spite of my family calling their attention to my increased intense state, it fell upon deaf ears. Before I was transported they again administered a third injection which continued to intensify my symptoms.
Once crisis arrived, based on sight and sound and a flat out lie by the Doctor stating I was suicidal, (to which my family will verify was false) a 302 was issued. He also documents my having a history of psychoses and once again this is totally false. I did, however suffer a post natal depression eighteen years ago after the birth of my son.
The Dr. suggested my husband leave, and with the thought that I would be cared, for he complied. He now knows it was a mistake. I was left for over 3 hours without a pillow, a blanket, the offer of water and I was still violently screaming and slamming my body to the genre. I was experiencing chills, and was dehydrated upon arrival at the psychiatric unit and yet none of my needs were attended to. I was never advised of my rights and the records indicate this procedure was not followed.
During the transport the ambulance crew made derogatory slurs toward my mental state which I found totally repulsive.
Upon arrival at the psychiatric unit the attending psychiatrist acted on the ER. report and prescribed a medley of drugs via the telephone which included more Ativan, antipsychotics, antidepressants, and even in my confused mind I attempted to save myself by spitting them out but they were quickly administered by injection against my will.
To sum up this nightmare after 4 days of confinement and due to the holiday weekend I was finally seen by a competent psychiatrist who promptly discontinued all medication and released me after 24 hours of observation.
There are many details which are untold due to the length of this letter and I am appalled by the treatment I received and the horror I was forced to endure.
To all who read this letter make no mistake about it this can happen to you with or without the label of “Mental Illness”. I believe then as I do now I was perceived to be mentally ill because of my depression 18 years before even though I have not treated nor have been on any medication since that time. I have led a productive life prior to the depression and for the years following. I am a homeowner, I work full time as a bookkeeper, and I have my own business in which I developed a product and now market it. I also believe the doctors ran with the ball when they discovered my mother was diagnosed with mental illness and this gave them just what they needed to form a conclusion.
I very easily could have died in that hospital and yet they justified what they did as an effort to save me from myself. I never had any thought of hurting myself or any one else if I was in any danger it was by their hands not mine.
This is Survivor Story number 7.
Total number of stories in current database is 96