Thanks to Prozac, I’m Surrounded by Murderers, Rapists and Worse

“The doctor said Prozac would make me happy. I’m not happy.”

 

NOTE FROM ICFDA:

THIS IS A LETTER FROM A YOUNG MAN NAMED KURT DANYSH WHO COMMITTED A VIOLENT ACT ON PROZAC. AFTER READING IT, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO DONATE TO HIS LEGAL DEFENSE FUND, EVERY DOLLAR WOULD BE APPRECIATED. IT TAKES KURT ABOUT A MONTH AND HALF TO MAKE $20 IN THE PRISON WHERE HE MAY BE FOR THE NEXT TWENTY TO SIXTY SOME YEARS. PLEASE SEND DONATIONS TO THE KURT DANYSH LEGAL AID FUND, C/O OF JOSEPHINE MILEA, 111 FOX RUN ROAD, STEWARTZVILLE, NJ 08886 OR CALL 908 479 2289 FOR MORE INFORMATION. THANKS, ICFDA
——–

I am so sorry to hear your son’s story. I am sorry I cannot contribute to his memorial fund financially, but I send you my support and prayers. (See the ICFDA Survivor Story“He Never Said Goodbye.”)

I am sure you are wondering why me, a convicted murderer, is writing. Your son and I have something in common. I was placed on Prozac in 1996 for depression. I was 18 and naïve. About three weeks into “treatment,” I became irrational. Paranoid, and violent. This was very out-of-character for me. In a week’s time, I slapped my girlfriend, beat up a friend, and purposefully crashed my truck into a stone wall. Now most people would notice they were behaving abnormally, but on Prozac, you think that you are rational, even at irrational times.

That is the best way I can explain it. I finally went over the edge on April 25th, 1996. I walked 13 miles to my father’s home in a trance-like state. I was very calm, but it was as if I was watching myself from outside.

At my father’s home, I visited with my father for a while, and in the middle of the visit while he bent over to pick something up, I shot and killed him. There was no reason for harming him. I loved my father very much. To this day, I can’t say exactly what I was thinking at that moment.

After the shooting, I turned myself in to police where I calmly confessed to the shooting. I knew now that my behavior was out of control. I told the police that the meds I was on had been making me act weird, but they didn’t want to hear my “excuses.”

Even at court, my attorney said he could find no evidence to show Prozac caused violence. The makers of Prozac even offered to aid the prosecution’s case against me. Protecting their drug al all costs.

To avoid the death penalty, I pleaded guilty to Murder Three. I am serving 22 1/2 to 60 years in a maximum security prison. I am surrounded by murderers, rapists, and worse every day. All I wanted was help. The doctor said Prozac would make me happy. I’m not happy.

Cases like your son’s and mine are not as rare as people think. I pray someday, we will find the justice we deserve and the truth will be told. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

God bless you.

Kurt Danysh
#DL-4879
SCI FRACKVILLE
1111 Altamont Blvd.
Frackville, PA 17931

 

3/21/2002

This is Survivor Story number 36.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

607 total views, no views today

Prozac Nearly Ruined My Life at 13

“I frequently wandered around in a daze, or ran around at all hours of the day and night. I became intensely suicidal.”

 

I was put on Prozac by my GP at 13 for depression. Before going on the drug, I was a happy, normal child. Within two weeks of being on Prozac, I was hypomanic. I realize that with hindsight. I started getting into trouble with the police, I was extremely aggressive towards anyone who dared come near me, and I started self-harming. I frequently wandered around in a daze, or ran around at all hours of the day and night. I became intensely suicidal, taking a total of 15 overdoses while on this evil drug. I inserted pins into my arms, started drinking, and physically assaulting people. I was arrested numerous times, once for throwing knives at the police, and nearly got charged with attempted murder (no one was hurt). My mother realized that Prozac had completely changed my personality, and took me off it. About three weeks later, I awoke one morning, not knowing what I’d done during the time on Prozac, and having a memory gap of the whole time I was on the drug. I could not remember a thing. 5 yrs later, I am back to my usual self, but I still suffer from the time I spent on Prozac. I started getting flashbacks of things that occurred whilst on the drug, flashbacks to events my mother verified, because I could not believe them. I am very wary of going on any psychiatric drugs, because of the damage Prozac caused. If you are reading this, please remember, you are taking your life (and others, possibly) in your hands.

 

2/2/2002

This is Survivor Story number 45.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

509 total views, no views today

Xanax and Paxil—a Life-Altering Combination

“The scary part is that this was considered a legal practice.”

 

Hello,

My name is Barton Mahoney. Thank you for this forum. It represents an opportunity to know that others understand what I experienced with the drug Paxil.

Bad, bad, bad for Bart! It has been a lonely experience in explaining the affects this intrusive drug has had in my life. I am one of those people that this drug was not designed for, doing it only by a doctor’s order. If I only knew what was in store for me, assuredly it would never have happened. It was prescribed not so much for depression as to help with an extreme case of fatigue. Depression and fatigue can appear hand-in-hand when working 80+ hour workweeks in construction. As an energetic and conscientious building contractor this is now my previous occupation.

Paxil, smaxil, serotonin, shmeritonin. I had no idea of what these were or what they would mean, before it was too late. They prescribed it with Xanax, another wonder drug. Within the first week I was complaining to my doctor about the effect it was having on me. I was told my condition was consistent with the early affects of the drug. It was recommended to continue the medication for the 4-6 week incubation period when the Paxil would then become balanced with my system.

This never happened. I stopped the Xanax within months. My personality and character changed so dramatically that I left the construction trades, lost the respect of my family, along with every ounce of self-esteem that I had within a very short time. I can remember it being hard to feel a smile. It was the major contributing factor to the demise of a life once enjoyed, leading to the perils of a drug user. I wish this on no person. The scary part is that this was considered a legal practice.

I was hospitalized on several occasions during the first year. Each time was the result of collapsing on the floor or when lying down and not being able to get up. I would just lay there not able to move or with a feeling of not wanting to move. It is difficult to explain. If helped by a person and moved very slowly they could get me to my feet, only to immediately collapse again. Three times at home, Twice while at hotels, once on an airplane. That time they had to hold the flight I was on from taking off. It took better than a half an hour to retrieve me from the bathroom. Two very helpful Texas police officers saw our way to a hospital. I was treated in the emergency room but they wanted to take blood. With a phobia about shots plus being through this experience before I felt to have a better answer for my treatment. They did not understand that I just wanted to lie there and that I would be fine in a little while. I tried explaining my condition at the hospital and asked if they would please call my doctor. They did not make the call and released me because I refused treatment by not letting them stick needles in me. I took a later flight home and told myself that this was it. I had to get off this drug.

I was in the care of my doctor this entire period from September 1997 until November 1999. What is interesting was how the medical clinic provided me with prescriptions of Paxil even after I had lost my insurance (I lost everything but that’s not the point). My thinking was that they are giving me the medication because they know something may go wrong if I stopped taking it. Something was adrift for them to give me the medication for free. It appears I am discovering that they did know once this drug had taken its place in my system that it was a very long process to wean a person off the drug. Plus there was a possibility that I may not be stable enough for those around me. There was nothing about this on the drug description at the time, only to say do not stop medication without consulting your doctor. I did and was told to very slowly reduce the dosage until I could handle life without it.

It took over a year to free myself from this consummate condition. It has been a year and a half since my final battle with the drug. The final no-more-Paxil period lasted for about three weeks. No different than any other episode during this treatment, if I stopped or slowed down the medication I would lose my motor skills or would lose my will to use them. Slowly perking-up I am happy to say that now without this drug in my system and because of a very supporting family; I am back to my old self and am finding life enjoyable once again. The further life distances itself from the history of this period the better off I will be. Occasionally, I still have strange twinges at the base of my neck and I now shake when doing something tedious with my hands. I had always prided myself in the steadiness of intricate tasks, but this is no more.

My memories of this period are also quite bothersome. I have spoken with three attorneys, one said his legal counsel doctor said I should have been able to stop cold turkey with out having any problems. Right! A second said it appeared to be a class-action suit after a 20-20 television show about the anti-affects of anti-depressant medication. A third attorney said it would cost more than his firm could afford just in getting the case to trial. I left it at that knowing that I was greatly improved and able by nature to fight my way back to a life.

My wife and I were married at age 15 & 16 respectively. We have three wonderful adult children. For 31 years we have been through many tough times and this is now just another experience. I don’t want to think of where my life would be if I hadn’t fought through and separated myself from the clutches of Paxil. Even thinking through this letter helps with the healing process. I was compelled to write because it appears the truth is coming out. Previously, I actually thought I was going crazy and that nobody was listening, nor would they believe me. It was the loneliest feeling in the world.

I am saddened by the actions of those people under the influence of this drug. To have done the things that they have hurts all of us. To an extent I can understand how they felt when performing these horrific acts.

My prayers and thoughts go out to all that are affected. These are all very disturbing conditions that to some extent fall on the shoulders of those that offer these treatments and to those who manufacturer the drugs that they prescribe. It is a dangerous business. These drugs which are administered do have an affect. I can claim adverse reactions if the person is not designed for treatment in such a manner. We all deserve more information, especially when it comes to a drug that effects our central nervous system. For those who have had or are having similar experiences, you are not alone nor are you crazy.

If you are thinking about taking an anti-depressant, discuss all possibilities with your doctor. If the medication is helping you, then you are lucky. I might still be enjoying a life once stable. Hopefully I will continue to overcome and in time will be fully restored. As I get older it will be interesting to see whether I will ever chance taking any medication. Never again do I want to go through this experience no matter what my condition may be. I would rather go natural.

Thank you for hearing my voice. Now that I have written this brief letter about my experience, I hope it will help others understand the dangers of drugs not meant for the masses. Still it hurts to the center of my soul when considering these possibilities. I have experienced Paxil. Communication is our strength and it should be critically applied with matters of health. Manufacturers, doctors and patients must have all possible information before making life-altering decisions.

I signed no waivers in regards to potential side-affects, which excuses my ignorance. Luckily I was strong enough to help myself. Woe to those who are not so lucky, you are at the mercy of questionable practices by those we should be able to trust.

On the Mend

 

8/6/2001

This is Survivor Story number 19.
Total number of stories in current database is 34

576 total views, 1 views today

Prozac Prescribed "Without a Thought"

“I cannot help wondering how much of his problem was enhanced or made worse by this drug.”

 

I was not too surprised to see the list of behavior problems. My son was just sixteen when the diagnosed him with depression. His teachers noticed, people saw and said nothing until he made an attempt at suicide.

We immediately sought medical help, and unfortunately because we have an HMO, were limited to a therapist with little or NO experience in treating his problems. The Psychiatrist who initially saw our Son, prescribed Prozac without a thought, and never informed us of the possible adverse reactions.

Instead of getting better, he got worse. The Therapist (who usually treated ADD juveniles 6- 11 yr. old) was clueless, even after I expressed that I was not comfortable with her treatment. When I suggested she refer us to someone with experience treating teens she stated that she and my son were getting along and not to worry. (She kept telling me how charming my son was).

I even asked that he see a male therapist, because I felt my son was manipulating the situation. No, she (his therapist) would not consider this. In the meantime the psychiatrist, never inquired or saw our son after the first visit.

Things got worse, our son stopped caring about anything, continued to mutilate himself. Finally one night at a friend’s house they snuck out and almost burned down a barn. It was then that the psychiatrist announced that he was only feeling guilty about what he had done and that they were done treating him? Get this, all of a sudden there was supposed to be nothing wrong with him!

The therapist then had the absolute gall to say to my husband and myself that she would not “get involved with kids and the court system” and that our son should “see a male therapist because she now felt he needed someone who would better understand our Son!!!!

They never mentioned the Prozac, or what we should do. So we took him off the meds, went to court, sold our home and moved. I am not blaming Prozac for our son’s problems, just that it made a bad situation worse. It may have been what pushed him over the line. He simply stopped caring.

This story does have a good ending though. When we moved our coverage location changed. We then were blessed to find Dr. Young Ho Kim a psychiatrist who specializes in treating teens. His new Therapist was a woman, Christine Daley, who although I was doubtful at first, turned out to be both professional and qualified. They treated our Son without ANY drugs. While it was a lot of work I at last felt there was hope. That was a while ago, our son is now in College, and seems to have returned for the most part to normal. I cannot help wondering how much of his problem was enhanced or made worse by this drug.

It was when I heard about the boys in (I believe it was) Kentucky, who pulled the fire alarm at their school and proceeded to shoot people coming out, and when I first heard about the boys a Colombine that I started to wonder. Sure enough it wasn’t long before the details about the boys revealed that they had been treated for problems, and like my son had been given anti-depressants.

I was angered that the first reaction to the crimes were “Where are the parents?”, or that somehow it was the fault of bullies, or TV Please. Only after the fact with all the blame properly labeled to the parents, society, school, the weather, whatever, might you have heard someone whisper the word Prozac. I wonder how many listened.

Ms. D. Abel

 

7/26/2001

This is Survivor Story number 16.
Total number of stories in current database is 34

535 total views, no views today

4/19/2001 – April Edition of ICFDA now Online

Twenty-three new articles from the past month have just been
selected from newspapers across the country and posted our
ICFDA site at http://www.drugawareness.org.

Included among them are two articles that offer proof there are
safer ways to treat depression then by taking pills. One is from
Newsweek entitled “Nourishing Your Brain,” which discusses
studies showing that fats in fish and walnuts can ward off
depression. Another from Reuters showing how aerobic
exercise effectively treats depression.

You will also want to read how a world-renowned scientist saw
his job offer evaporate after he warned that the popular
antidepressant Prozac might trigger suicide. The manufacturer
is an important donor to a mental health institute associated with
the university who courted the doctor. Read “Prozac Critic Sees U
of T Job Revoked.”

Have you seen the ads for Serafem?—the new “cure” for PMDD,
a mental disorder that has yet to be proven to exist? Careful, it’s
just repackaged Prozac in pretty, new pink coating. Be sure to
read the riveting expose by Kelly O’Meara entitled “Misleading
Medicince.”

Plus, there’s new information on Viagra, Rezulin, Accutane, MMR
vaccinations and more.

Mark

823 total views, 1 views today

One Celexa Killed my Father

“He was not a depressed man, nor would he ever have taken his own life.”

 

My father had been suffering numbness in his arms and legs for about a year and it was getting progressively worse. After visiting numerous doctors and having all kinds of tests, he was finally told that he had spurs on his spinal cord and that surgery could remove them.

Of course he was told there was a risk of paralysis, but that is true of any back surgery. He had some discs removed from his back thirty years ago and came out of that fine.

My father was always a very active man, but lately he just didn’t feel well enough to pursuit his usual interests. Any way, on January 24, I took him to the doctor and my father told me he was going to ask for some antidepressants.

I told him not to because of the side effects.

He came out of the exam room with a box of 56 Celexa and said the doctor told him these were a milder antidepressant and did not have the side effects that most have.

I took my dad home and later that evening, one of my brothers visited my dad. He said my dad had taken one of the Celexa and was crawling out of his skin and speeding.

On January 25, my father shot and killed himself.

After reading the package insert for Celexa, I discovered that they consider depression as having at least five of nine symptoms listed. My father only had three. I feel the doctor should never have given my father these drugs. He was not a depressed man, nor would he ever have taken his own life. He was looking forward to this surgery. He was only in a depressed mood because he could not get out to go dancing or do the other things he liked to do.

 

3/18/2001

This is Survivor Story number 9.
Total number of stories in current database is 34

551 total views, no views today

Hope through alternatives even after long-term use of Prozac

 

“The doctors said that I needed the drugs to pull through. I finally said, ‘No more drugs!'”

 

My name is Tammy.

I was diagnosed with bipolar depression about seven years ago. I have been in and out of the mental ward three times in the seven years.

This may be kind of long, but I feel that it is very important for those who have this condition. I would like to let you know that there is away to heal from this, other than the use of drugs.

I was under doctors’ care with the use of drugs — lithium, Prozac etc. These drugs did nothing for me. I still sheltered myself from life outside the home. Was afraid to speak to anyone about what I was going through. I slept all the time, had nothing that interested me at all, just sat and watched TV. If I slept, then nothing could go wrong and I would not have to face reality.

I had to give my children to the state foster care system. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do. My children where very young and did not understand why we where not together. We told them what I was going through, but at the age they where they did not understand. I still managed to visit with them when I was allowed to. I cried when I left them, for they were in different homes. This made me feel even more alone.

I would cry sometimes all day and for no reason. I had no control. Was unable to do my job at work so they let me go. Now, no job no children. I had to move back to my parents’ home. A home of nothing but abuse.

The doctors said that I needed the drugs to pull through. I finally said, “No more drugs! They are not doing me any good.” So I took myself off all drugs. The doctor said that she would not recommend me doing that but she could not make me take them. I have managed to deal with this for years. No friends, no family, no fun.

Till I met Bev. I met her at a very tiring time in my life. My mother was diagnosed with (cholangio Carcinowa), Bio-duct cancer. Grandfather had died a month before my mother. I was a mess. Went to work and all anyone had to say was “Hi, how are you?” and I would fall all apart.

This gal Bev saw that I was not alright, so she began giving me some of the Young Living Essential Oil supplements (mentioned in Dr. Tracy’s book and tape on withdrawal and rebuilding). I took them and she would come around later and asked me how I felt. I did feel better but was not sure if the supplements were the reason why I could work.

Bev took me to a massage therapist and I had an emotional release done. Boy, after that was done I did not think that it worked. As we left I told Bev get me home — I really needed to get home. Not sure why I had to get there but just get me home. I had a business appointment right when I got home. I called and canceled it, felt that I could not do it right then.

A few hours passed and I was at home when I started to have a large crying spell. I cried so hard that I had dry heaves. I could not keep anything down and could not sleep. Could not sit still, this went on all day and night. Called Bev to tell her I was afraid and what I was going through. The next day I felt as though nothing at all happened to me. I was better than fine, I was happy and could not wait to go somewhere. My concentration improved, I got out doing things again.

Bev helped me with my diet, supplements, the essential oils, etc. This is what I feel saved my life. This was my last chance, for I had tried everything and nothing worked. But the Young Living Essential Oils products worked!

I have a ways to go but feel that Young living will see me through all the changes. I hope that this will help other people to believe that there is something out there that will work and without drugs. I am stronger than I ever have been and I owe it all to Young Living Essential Oils.

Thank you, Bev and Young Living, from the bottom of my heart! You saved me!!!!!!!!

Tammy

2/18/2001

This is Survivor Story number 1.
Total number of stories in current database is 34

564 total views, no views today

17-Year Old Friend Committed Suicice on Prozac

It killed one of my friends and almost killed another. I can’t believe that it is still on the market…”

 

I am writing this because I think people need to hear my friend’s story.

One of my close friends was put on Prozac. She was 17. Over the summer I spent a lot of time with her. She appeared happy and never seemed to let anything bother. I did find it strange that when I asked if she ever had anything bothering her she always seemed to change the subject back to my problems. Little did I know that she let all those problems bottle up inside of her. My friend committed suicide August 31, 1999, at the age of 17.

I know that she had other problems, she did share a few, but I think that Prozac also had something to do with her actions. I never knew what the drug did to people until I began researching it for a paper for my senior English class. Another one of my friends was also placed on Prozac for depression after our friend died. In December of 1999 she too almost committed suicide. She had all the letters written out but a phone call from a friend stopped her. She told me that while she was on the drug she felt like no one understood how she felt. She said that she felt like she was in her own world and no one understood how she was feeling. This feeling of solitude brought her great pain and she had convinced herself that the only way to end the pain was to kill herself.

I am very grateful to that person who called her right before she did it. Somehow the phone call snapped her into reality and she realized that she didn’t want to kill herself, all she wanted was for the pain to stop. Something has to be done about this drug. It killed one of my friends and almost killed another. I can’t believe that it is still on the market and I don’t personally believe that it should be. I know the pain that comes when a friend commits suicide. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone and I believe that if this drug continues to be prescribed this world is going to experience many more self-induced death.

I needed to tell someone this. Thank you for your time and listening.

M

12/9/2000

This is Survivor Story number 4.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

790 total views, 1 views today

A Mindless Zombie on Paxil

“I was all jittery and I just felt weird.”

My name is Rachel. I had a bad experience with Paxil. I went to my
family doctor and told him about my depression. After talking to me for about 10 minutes, he decided that I needed Paxil for my depression. I was reluctant, but I took it. I took my first pill the next morning. At first I
felt nauseated. Later during the day, I was extremely happy and really hyper. I walked for miles and didnt get tired. The next morning I woke up craving the pill. But I didn’t take it. I was afraid. I was all jittery and I just felt weird. I don’t think this is a very effective drug unless you want to be a continously happy mindless zombie.

Rachel

10/12/2000

This is Survivor Story number 9.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

774 total views, no views today

Prozac prescribed for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

“It was, by far, the most terrifying experience of my life; I literally felt like I was losing my mind, being taken over by an alien force.”

 

To make an excruciatingly long story tolerably short, I was given Prozac for Chronic Fatigue syndrome by my GP. I was on it for a year with no major problems, in fact I quite liked the unsought-for increase in confidence, sociability, etc.

After stopping, I began experiencing a whole host of ‘mental problems’ that I’d never had before. This began as a strange and almost indescribable difference in perception; it was as if I saw things without any emotional response. Even the simple, everyday things — looking at a tree, a dog, being in a roomful of people listening to conversation – took on a bizarre, otherworldly aspect. It was as if I were on some kind of anesthetic while still awake. This escalated over a period of several months until it took on the form of full-blown depersonalization disorder. At the same time, I began experiencing episodes of derealization and extreme LSD-like experiences, a constant experience of mental impairment, and severe loss of short-term memory. My doctor said he’d never heard of such a thing and referred me to a psychiatrist, who proceeded to tell me that this wasn’t caused by the drug, but that my ‘illness’ had gotten worse. ‘What illness,’ quoth I. ‘Your depression,’ quoth he. When I told him that never had depression, just fatigue and food allergies, and I’d certainly never had any of these extreme forms of mental illness before or anything remotely like them, he looked at me blankly for a minute, and then somehow convinced me that they had just ‘happened,’ that my condition had just coincidentally deteriorated, that I’d always ‘really been depressed’ and just hadn’t known it, and that what I needed to do to make these things go away was to go back on the drug. I was in desperate straits, scared out of my wits and appeared to have no other options. I did as he said, re-started Prozac. All the symptoms immediately got worse. I was having constant, unremitting LSD-like experiences, horrible, nauseatingly violent dreams, a constant state of unremitting depersonalization and derealization to the point where I could barely function. It was, by far, the most terrifying experience of my life; I literally felt like I was losing my mind, being taken over by an alien force.

I went to several other psychiatrists to try to find an ‘expert’ who could explain all of this. Dr. Daniel Aurbach (quoted in a recent story in Newsweek as a Prozac authority) told me that he’d never heard of Prozac causing any of these phenomena, that I should not worry, it was ‘a very safe drug.’ Dr. Deborah Nadel of UCLA told me that she’d ‘bet money’ that this had nothing to do with Prozac, that I should increase the dose, and that I needed to take Klonopin for my ‘anxiety,’ and go into therapy, which I did for several weeks. Eventually, I could no longer bear the asininity of sitting in a room talking to this woman about my childhood while tripping my brains out on a drug, hallucinating and having out-of-the-body experiences, nauseatingly violent dreams (when I was even able to sleep) and not being able to remember what I did yesterday. I expressed my concerns to Dr. Nadel about the approach we were taking; she told me that I should take a neuroleptic (anti-psychotic medication). To my eternal credit, I did not throw her out the window, but, patient guy that I am, went to a few more shrinks. They all told me basically the same things:

Prozac doesn’t do this, you must have ‘already’ been mentally disturbed (or this just ‘happened,’ nothing to do with the drug), all reports of adverse effects from Prozac were started by the Scientologists, why don’t you try a neuroleptic, they’re safe in small doses, etc. etc. etc. One morning, after waking up in sheer terror from a particularly horrible dream in which men in masks were ripping first the eye-balls and then the brains out of two young girls, I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet, letting the water in the sink run to give me something other than my mind to listen to. ‘Jesus,’ I thought, ‘what the *hell* could a dream like that possibly mean? What is happening to me?’ ‘It doesn’t matter,’ said a clear, calm voice in my mind, ‘because I’m going to kill myself.’

In that moment, I realized that I didn’t give a rat’s ass what any psychiatrist said. I was stopping this shit no matter what. I’d walked into this with a mild case of fatigue and some food allergies, and now I’m sitting here on the edge of psychosis with a voice telling me to off myself. I don’t think so.

I went to a doctor I’d seen several years before, Dr. Murray Susser, one of the foremost authorities on the treatment of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and related disorders. I knew that he had prescribed anti-depressant medications (I’d read his book), and I also knew him to be a knowledgeable, widely educated, intelligent and decent man. I told him my story. When I got to the part about everybody telling me that it ‘couldn’t be the drug,’ he looked up from his notes and said “Bullshit! It’s the drug. I see this kind of thing all the time. I don’t know how these psychiatrists can be in such denial, the literature is full of reactions like this.” We talked for a long time, figuring out a workable program for safely tapering off the drug, and for trying to get myself back in shape afterward. I left his office feeling hope for the first time in eight months.

Happily, right at that time, I found the book ‘Prozac: Panacea or Pandora?’ by Ann Blake Tracy, which I promptly read. It was like the light at the end of the tunnel; this book described everything that had happened to me in great detail, gave scientific reasons why it happened, backed it all up with solid research, included testimonials from hundreds of others in the same situation, and even gave me some insight as to how seven of the top psychiatrists in LA could be so amazingly, criminally inept.

I thought about suing them. For about thirty seconds. How could I prove what this stuff has done to me? For me, the most frightening aspect of this whole adventure, even more so than journeying to the brink of insanity, is the realization that these psychiatrists have all this power and authority to proclaim what is and isn’t real as regards your own mental function and sense of self, whether they have any real idea what they’re talking about or not. [I’ve learned that] SSRI’s can, in fact, cause LSD-like experiences, due to their artificial raising of 5HT (the chemical that LSD achieves its effect by mimicking). However, it’s not ‘fun, trippy acid’ kind of stuff. It’s more like LSD mixed with PCP mixed with anesthesia, mixed with Sulfur from the Pits of Hell, and like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going and going…

As for depersonalization disorder (something the docs all told me Prozac couldn’t be the cause of): it’s listed right on the package insert as a possible side-effect. Too bad none of these guys thought it worth-while to give to me. Or read…..I like to learn from my experiences. In searching for positive aspects to this whole thing, I can say I now have at least some idea what schizophrenia might be like. For whatever that’s worth.

 

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 82.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

788 total views, 1 views today