ANTIDEPRESSANT??? Spanaway, WA Husband Confesses to Killing Wife & Daughter, Before Attempting to Kill Self

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Dean Holmes in Spanaway, WA turned himself in this past Wednesday admitting that Tuesday night he had shot his wife multiple times while she slept. He then woke up his 11 year old daughter & her friend who was sleeping over. After dropping off the friend at her home, he then drove back toward his home while his daughter fell asleep in the back seat of the car. At that point he stopped the car, got out & through the back window shot his daughter multiple times. He then drove through a McDonalds for breakfast with his daughter’s body still in the back seat. After returning home he placed his daughter’s body next to her mother in bed & attempted to shoot himself. When he could not pull the trigger he drove to the police department & turned himself in.

Here is the comment I posted on this article in response to a friend of the family who had stated she could not understand because Dean appeared to love his wife & daughter so much.:

“Washington state is loaded to the gills with antidepressants! Do you know what these drugs do? They cause you to act out your worst nightmare & that is called a REM Sleep Behavior Disorder (RBD). Of those being diagnosed with RBD 86% are taking an antidepressant. And of those suffering RBD 80% hurt themselves or someone else. If Dean seemed to really love his wife & daughter this would have been his worst nightmare. Someone had better start asking about meds! (By the way I was the expert in comedian Phil Hartman’s murder/suicide & their wrongful death suit has been settled by the makers of Zoloft.)”

Read the article here: http://www.thenewstribune.com/2012/08/30/2274355/spanaway-man-charged-with-first.html#storylink=misearch#storylink=cpy

Ann Blake-Tracy, Executive Director,

International Coalition for Drug Awareness
www.drugawareness.org & www.SSRIstories.com
Author: “Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Safe Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

 

BOOK:  Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare! Anything you ever wanted to know about antidepressants is there along with everything drug companies hope you never find out about these drugs. Find the book & the CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!” on how to safely withdraw from antidepressants & most psychiatric medications. Available at www.drugawareness.org

BOOK TESTIMONIALS:

“VERY BOLD AND INFORMATIVE”

“PRICELESS INFORMATION THAT IS GIVING ME BACK TO ME”

“THE ABSOLUTE BEST REFERENCE FOR ANTIDEPRESSANT DRUGS”

“WELL DOCUMENTED & SCIENTIFICALLY RESEARCHED”

“I was stunned at the amount of research Ann Blake- Tracy has done on this subject. Few researchers go to as much trouble aggressively gathering information on the adverse reactions of Prozac, Zoloft and other SSRIs.”

WITHDRAWAL HELP CD TESTIMONIALS:

“Ann, I just wanted to let you know from the bottom of my heart how grateful I am God placed you in my life. I am now down to less than 2 mg on my Cymbalta and I have never felt better. I am finally getting my life back. I can feel again and colors have never been brighter. Thanks for all that you do!!” … Amber Weber

“Used your method of weaning off of SSRI’s and applied it to Ambian. Took 6 months but had been on 15 mg for years so what was another 6 months. I have been sleeping without it for 2 weeks and it is the first time I have been able to sleep drug free for 15 years. What a relief to be able to lay down and sleep when I need or want to. Ambien may be necessary for people at times but doctors giving a months worth of it at a time with unlimited refills is a prescription for disaster. It is so damn easy to become dependent on. Thanks for your council Ann.”… Mark Hill

“I’m so thankful for Ann Blake-Tracy and all her work. Also for taking the time out to talk to me and educate everyone! She has been a blessing to me during this awful time of antidepressant hell!” … Antoinette Beck
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Lori White – Prozac for 2 1/2 years

Hi, my name is Lori White. I live in Sandy, Utah, and am a mother of 5 children, and grandmother of 7.

After being married for 12 years, I became a single mom for the next 9 years, during which time I had 4 teenagers at the same time. Depression runs in my family, and after a very difficult divorce, I found myself spending a lot of time in bed, especially when the children were in school. It was hard to cope with life, and I cried easily and found it difficult to stop crying.

Eventually I found a wonderful man and remarried, but every time there was a problem with one of the children, I would sink back into a depression. If I dropped the children off at school and one of them said, “Duh, Mom!” , I would shrink into myself, feel very incapable, and wonder what I had done to have my children hate me so much!

My doctor took pity on me, and put me on Prozac 8 years ago. When I was on the medication, I felt wonderful! I had NO problems!! And neither did anyone else! I was not affected by anyone else’s sad life or situations, and didn’t, couldn’t, cry.

After being on the medication for 6 years, I was introduced to a wonderful product, Classic, made by the Reliv company. After taking it for 6 months, I decided to go off the Prozac, which I did over a 3 week period. I found that I could cry again, could sympathize with others, and feel sad, but it didn’t last–I could stop crying, and I could feel happy again when I chose to.

I have been off Prozac now for 2 1/2 years, and just don’t have the cloud of gloom sitting on my shoulder that I had before going on it. When something sad or difficult happens in my life, it doesn’t bury me–I may cry, go to bed really feeling down, but when I wake up in the morning, I am fine–able to cope and put the problem in perspective.

Sincerely,
Lori

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Suspicious Suicide of Sister 1981 – NOW Solved 2009 – IMIPRAMINE. GENERIC FOR TOFRANIL

This is Lisa’s story of the sudden and tragic death of her sister Lori in 1981. Lori was 25 years old and Lisa was 13.  It took almost 3 decades for Lisa to find out the truth about her sister’s death. Here is Lisa’s story:

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My sister Lori Died Suddenly on Sept. 22, 1981. She was 25 years old. I always knew my Sister’s sudden death was suspicious. I had searched for years for the answers to why, which included contacting the police department, and going over the report many times! Someone had to do this to her, she would not have killed herself! This I knew for sure! I would sit in my driveway where she lost her life, and look at my house many times over, and say how did you sit here, looking at our families home with your daughter, niece, sisters, and parents sleeping inside, how how could you have done this to us, and yourself?!

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Nothing made sense then, and for the decades that followed. However, now almost three decades later “2009″ the truth has finally surfaced. I now have the answer I have searched for my entire life since that tragic morning I found her in her 1977 Buick with our father’s handgun in her lap. I promised her that morning I would not give up until I found the “truth” about what really happened to her. My sister loved life, and her family, and knew we loved her! She would not have taken her own life. So why did she?
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Summary of Lori’s Story:
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My sister moved home, and filed for divorce in 1980. I am her younger sister Lisa, and we spent most of this time together when she moved back home. I was going into the 8th grade that year. I was so happy that she was moving in with us, and that I would have time to spend with her. We were very close, very similar. Lori was a strong, smart woman, and she was determined to make it on her own! She worked for the county that we lived in, and was very well liked at her job. She also made enough money where she would be able to live. People that she worked with were shocked like everyone else was to hear about her sudden, so out of character death.
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At the time she lived with us she was doing fine, going to work everyday, and taking one day at a time to rebuild her life. Throughout her divorce it was stressful, just as much as expected in any divorce situation. It is a life change. Suddenly the last month to weeks of her life I noticed that she had changed. I listened, and I watched her suddenly turn into someone I did not know. I could not figure it out? Why was she acting like this? Saying these things to me? Finding it funny to scare me? Lori suddenly started to talk about death, and dying! In which she would include me in her plans/ideas on how I/We could end her life!
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Some examples are as follows:
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1. Lori would loop a belt around her neck, and ask me to pull it as hard as I could until she stopped breathing!
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2. Lori would ask me to come in the middle of the night, and put a pillow over her face to suffocate her in her sleep!
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3. Lori would lay still in her bed, and when she heard me coming down the hallway she would lay still, and pretend to be dead. When I shook her to wake her up she would not move. She stayed so still until she couldn’t anymore, and started to laugh out loud hysterically at me, and then would say to me “I’m just joking Lisa, I just wanted to see what it would feel like to really be dead, and what you would do if I really was?! Then she would go on to say to me, “you don’t have to worry I wouldn’t really do anything, I’m too chicken!”
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4. Lori suddenly changed by saying things to me like “HE” is in your room, closet and going to get you! Will you sleep with me in my room on the floor next to me? She also would say things that did not make sense like.. see this pin this will pop your face, see this curling iron, this will burn your face! It Never made sense the things she started to say..that was not her!
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5. Lori suddenly at times would go from laughing, and joking about something into anger, (suddenly she pushed me into a file cabinet, it, and myself fell on the ground) Lori never would hurt anyone, especially me;  agitated, and confused mood. (suddenly she would look at me with sadness in her eyes, and say to me I don’t know why I am saying or doing these things.. I must be going crazy.
Lisa-Lori-ssri-suicide.jpg

Lisa & Lori

6. Something else happened shortly before her life ended in such a tragic horrific way. Lori suddenly became very sick she came down with the flu. She lost weight, she could not eat, drink, or get up out of bed she was very pale, and weak, frail looking. I felt so bad I could not help her feel better. I had never seen her so sick before. She could not hold food down and was growing weaker by the day.

7. Lori also suddenly started to fall asleep with her bible on her face. As if she were reading. praying for help to feel better. I had to take the bible of her face a few times when she finally was able to sit still, and take a short nap.
8. Lori’s sleeping patterns suddenly changed as well.
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9. The night before she died, I remember it so clear. Lori kept rocking in our rocking chair that we had in our living room. She would not stop! She also was talking much faster than usual, and walking much faster as well. When I finally asked her to stop rocking so fast she just looked at me like she couldn’t stop, or didn’t want to. It was like someone was pushing her to rock. I thought it very odd at the time but soon overlooked it because of all her sudden behaviors had been so altered lately that I almost was getting use to the changes.
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10. That night my sister’s were staying up to watch the Deer Hunter a movie that came out in the 80′s I believe. They wanted me to stay up also to watch it with them but I was tired, and only made through some of it. The Russian Roulette camp scene came up. Where each of the prisoners were made to put a loaded handgun to their heads, some chambers were full, some were not. Each prisoner was made to take a chance when it was their turn. If it was empty they lived. If it was not they died. Lori made the comment/question: Do you think if I did that it would work the first time? Then she laughed it off. Then she started talking about our German Shepherd Dog who was aging. Lori said what are we going to do with Champ when he dies? Then she said well it doesn’t matter, if we bury him the worms will eat him anyway! Again she laughed.

I went to bed soon after that part of the movie, I was very tired. Lori came into my bedroom late that night, and stood in my doorway. She was talking to me, and asked are you awake? I remember mumbling back to her yes, but was half asleep still. She looked at the last supper picture I had on the wall, and asked me who was so and so? I don’t remember the name she said. Then she went on to look at her daughters picture on my wall, and said aww, isn’t she so cute! Then the last thing she said to me was “Well I’ll see you in the morning ok?!” and off she went down the hallway, I heard the front door slam as it usually did behind her around that time of night. That night Lori was not sad, depressed, crying, or irritable, just sounded so full of life! Energized.

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I did not know it then, but that was the last time I would hear her voice. That early morning of September 22, 1981 I was getting ready for school. I went into her bedroom to borrow a shirt of hers, and I quietly asked her if I could borrow it? Lori did not answer, so I took it, and got ready to catch the bus. As I walked out the front door down our driveway I had to pass her car, from a far distance all I could see was the color RED. My first thought was “here she goes again, She is trying to fool me again, and this time it looks like she used Ketchup!
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Well as I got closer, I saw my sister through the car window, she was on her side with her head on the armrest of the passenger side door. I could see her face clearly, Her eyes were closed, and there was blood dripping from her mouth, and bottom lip onto the seat. Still I was in total disbelief. Our other sister ran back into the house right away, and was calling me to come with her. I stayed by the car window, pounding on the glass waiting for her move, or waiting for her to laugh because she fooled me again! She did not move, or laugh.
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Our father came out of the house, and broke the driver side window, unlocked the door and got inside the car, reached across Lori’s body to unlock the passenger side door, ran around the car as fast as he could, got in and picked her up to hold her. Lori’s body lay across my fathers lap, and he just kept repeating WHY?

Our father came up to the house finally, hands and clothing full of blood, and said to me, your sister is gone. She had a open casket, I was not going to attend until a friend told me I should go say goodbye or I would regret it later. So I went. I finally went up to the casket where her body lay. All I could remember was the things she had said to me, and done those last weeks of her life. I was afraid, and confused to what had happened to her. It just never made sense! As I sat and looked across the room at her in the casket all I could think of was that this was not real. She was not Dead. She is pretending, etc. Even though In reality I did know she was gone. Just didn’t know why?!

*Lori did not drink,smoke, or do drugs- We had no answers. No clues so we thought. So for decades her sudden change, which followed to her sudden death remained “suspicious!”
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THE NOTE SHE LEFT BEHIND SAID:
“IT’S NOBODY’S FAULT, I JUST FLIPPED!”
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(WITH A SMILEY FACE AT THE BOTTOM.)
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Decades later the truth surfaced! Finally I was able to put it all together. In 2009 I was going through my sister’s box of things that I had packed away almost 28 years ago, off the top of her dresser. I came across many things I remembered from the time… one which included a medicine bottle. We knew Lori was put on a medicine to help her with the stress of her divorce, so it was not a surprise to me that I packed the bottle. Like I said we all knew she was taking something for anxiety. Back then it was similar to taking an advil. No big deal. As long as a doctor gave you something, it was ok to take. Safe.
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However..the shock came to me when I typed the name of the drug into the computer just months ago. Slowly it all started to come together, and I mean all of it! As I read the side effects of the medication she was on, it all suddenly linked! Including the things she said, the things she did, the rocking in the chair, the things she was seeing that were not there, and finally to the flu like symptoms that she was displaying shortly before she ended her life at the young age of 25.

-NOW..EVEN THE NOTE SHE LEFT BEHIND MAKES SENSE!….SHE DID FLIP, LOST HER MIND, HOWEVER, SHE DID NOT KNOW IT WAS DUE TO THE CONCEALED SIDE EFFECTS OF A PRESCRIPTION DRUG SHE TOOK FOR JUST A FEW SHORT WEEKS!!

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HERE IS THE WARNING ON THIS SAME DRUG TODAY (2013):
Imipramine and Suicides:
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Your healthcare provider should monitor you (or your child) carefully when you are first starting an antidepressant. You should also be watchful for any signs of suicidal behavior. Contact your healthcare provider right away if you (or your child) have any of the following:
*Thoughts about death or *committing suicide, Suicide attempts, *Depression or anxiety that is new or worse, *Agitation, restlessness, or panic attacks
*Trouble sleeping (insomnia), *Irritability that is new or worse, *Aggressive, angry, or violent behavior, *Acting on dangerous impulses, *Unusually increased talking or activity*Akathisia
An analysis of a large clinical trial published in the British Journal of Psychiatry in 2008 estimated that up to 35 percent of people taking antipsychotic drugs experience akathisia.
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Symptoms include: Fidgety movements*, Leg swinging while sitting*, Rocking from foot to foot or pacing*, Motor restlessness; inability to sit still*, Feelings of anxiety*, Insomnia*. The combination of these symptoms and depression and impulsiveness may also contribute to aggression and suicide in some patients. Other strange changes in mood or behavior. (* I put a star next to every side effect she had!)
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BLACK BOX WARNING (2004)
http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/psn/transcript.cfm?show=34 Today we have commercials warning of these dangers. We also have computers where we can do our own research. Back then, we had nothing! Some say maybe no-one knew back then… Not true! Facts below:
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Pharmacosis:
* The first descriptions of a drug causing suicide came in 1955. A few years later in 1958 and again in 1959 the problem was described with imipramine.* Treatment induced suicide became a prominent media issue in 1990 with a paper by Teicher and Cole. (MY SISTER DID NOT HAVE TO DIE!) *It was not until 2004 that regulators and companies conceded that these drugs can cause a problem.
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Closure.
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In 2009 I was able to give our parents some kind of closure to Lori’s death, however, this in no way made up for the three plus decades of pain and suffering they as parents had to endure. Our Mother said: You mean she died because people had to be greedy, and make money? Our Father said: It don’t matter now, because she is gone, and nobody will care! HAD WE KNOWN THE CONCEALED SIDE EFFECTS OF IMIPRAMINE, MY SISTER WOULD BE ALIVE TODAY!
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WELL MY STORY IS NOW ONLINE, AND PEOPLE DO CARE, AND HOPEFULLY LIVES CAN BE SAVED BY READING HER STORY! IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY SISTER… SHE MAY NOW, AFTER ALMOST THREE DECADES, REST IN PEACE.
I LOVE YOU.
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My Life with Paxil and Klonopin

“The nightmare goes on with in me.”

I started Paxil when I was in the middle of a bad divorce. I had a great Doctor and she saw me falling apart. I told her what was going on and My life was not mine any more. I started taking Paxil before Paxil CR came about. I was up to 25mg when started. I was never told about the side effects.

Anyway I started to feel better at 1st but then I had to get off because my Health Insurance changed. I was only on it for 3 months the 1st time. Anyway things got really bad to where I wouldn’t not go out ,and was unable to think right.

My job was on the line. All I wanted to do was die. Then in July 2003 I just couldn’t take much more. Unsure of myself and the things I was thinking about scared me to no end.

I would work over nights so I didn’t have to be alone. I prayed that would keep me from hurting myself. But then it happen July 18 2003 I was told to go home and sleep take your day off and enjoy the sunshine. I told one of the ladies at work I don’t feel right about going home. She said hey you are just over tired. I started to cry and gave her my phone number in chase something happen. She said you will be just fine go and enjoy your day. I wanted to tell her I wanted to die, but just couldn’t bring myself to say it.

I went home looked around and said this is it. I have lost everything I have worked for and I am alone now. Well it was time to end my pain. My son was out of town. I have raised him well. He is out on his own now. Which was hard for me to deal with. But hell, almost 21 yrs old. I need to let him go now. So I made some calls and started to do what my mind was thinking.

And really believe it would be better this way. Well all the Paxil I had left in my apartment and what ever else I could find and two big bottles of wine, I was on my way to peace.

My best Friend talked to me for a few mins, before I blacked out. She didn’t know where I lived, But some how found me. By the time they go here I was on my way!

The next thing I could remember was waking up in the ER. Not knowing why I was there. Well I got locked up and the next day saw my new Doc.

Still feeling very unsure of things and not wanted to take the meds they want to put me on. I had to do as I was told. So here comes Paxil CR and Klonopin. I stayed in the hosp. for 4 days and went to group and saw my Doc again, but something was not right. I still had the thinking of not wanting to live.

He told me that it will take about 14 days for the Paxil CR to start working and I will start to feel better soon. And would see me in a week at his office.

Well I saw him again in a week and I told him I didn’t have the money to pay for Paxil CR. He said he would help me. Ok I trusted him so I got all the free samples I need to have. But after a month everything was the same, so he upped my dose.

And said I will see you in 6 weeks. Went back to see him feeling the same. Things were not getting any better. He upped my dose now taking 25mg plus 12.5 mgs! That gave me a dose of 37.5 well see u in 8 weeks now.

Things got really bad at work and I was not sure what would happen next. Called him on the phone and told him I was in a living hell. He told me to come see him. Well I did and the dose went up to 25 mg 2 times a day and the Klonopin 4 times a day or more as need.

I left his office with a bag full of Paxil CR and called my sister and told this is not right. Something is wrong here. If it is not working then why up the dose.

So I stopped taking the Paxil CR and My body started to break down. Get upset over every little thing. Could not sleep anymore and can not keep my mind on one thing.

I called my mom thinking I was crazy and she looked in to Paxil CR, and told me I shouldn’t have stopped taking it. I need to go back on and go off it slowly.

Well I did just that, but now new things are popping up. I can’t sleep at nite and all my joints in my body hurt. I still can’t keep my head right. And I have been off the Paxil CR and the Klonopin for a few weeks.

I need to know when I will start to feel better. But you know what I find very sad—Is that if my doc knew all this and did not tell me. How can he live with himself. I know my life will get better in time. But I need to know what else will happen to me. I think free samples are great, but I also think we need to know more about the meds we take,. And what are the long term side effect? Had I known what I do now. I would never had taken the Paxil CR.

Thank You for hearing me out. Have a great day. Peace out

maureen Phillips
butternut108@yahoo.com

 

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Married to Zoloft and I Want a Divorce

“I quit cold turkey. Big mistake! Five days later I ended up in the hospital emergency.

I knew something was really wrong.”

 

On September 1997, I went to see my doctor to complain, for the fifth time, (I had seen my doctor five times that month) of nausea and that I had very little energy. She got upset with me and told me that I was in denial, and that my problem was really depression. She prescribed me Zoloft.

At that time, I had just began my first semester in university. My illness did not go away. I felt sick and run down. Six weeks went by, and one day I got violently sick and ended up in the hospital. As it turns out, the reason I had been ill was not because of a depression I knew I had, but because I had a viral infection that had gone untreated for months.

After I was treated for this infection, I continued taking Zoloft, as I thought it my help me cope with my final exams. I continued taking Zoloft or a few months and finally decided to come off the drug. I quit cold turkey. Big mistake! Five days later I ended up in the hospital emergency.
I knew something was really wrong. The psychiatrist re-ordered Zoloft, and the withdrawal effects quickly disappeared.

After that experience, I knew that I could not quit this drug abruptly, so, a year later, I tried the tapering off method. I went from 150 mg to 50 mg in a matter of four months. The withdrawals became progressively worst, to the point that I could no longer function normally. I had difficulty putting words together; my short term memory was greatly disturbed and I felt like I as losing all mental capacity. I could not read anymore; a pass time I really enjoyed. I could no longer write; and writing was one of my favorite hobbies. To make a long story short, I had to start taking Zoloft again at a dose of 100 ml, just to be able to function.

I have been on Zoloft since 1997.Zoloft ruined my life. Sure, I was depressed before 1997, but at least, then, I was in control of my life. I had some good days. Now the good days are few and far between.(I can’t remember when I felt joy.)I went from being a functional woman with drive and hope for the future; to a scared nervous wreck. I don’t even look or feel the same anymore. It’s like being someone else. Before Zoloft, I always kept my house clean and tidy; I weighed 120 pounds and looked great; I had hobbies which kept me sane; I had a support system and my family admired and praised me. Now, I weigh 208 pounds; I little confidence and drive; I used to be good with money but now I have maxed out my credit; I have become an angry and bitter person; I have thoughts of suicide every day; I have no friends left; In sum, I am not me anymore.

Three days ago, I decided to quit cold turkey again. I am writing this now, because I know that in a few days, I won’t be able to put one word in front of the other. I already feel the withdrawals. Every time I move, my eyes lose focus and my head feels funny. It feels like it skips a beat. It’s very difficult to describe and to tell the truth, I don’t want to see my doctor because he won’t take me seriously. Since I’ve been on Zoloft, I have attempted suicide 11 times. I want myself back. I want that drug out of my system and only hope that it hasn’t caused permanent physical damage.

Zoloft ruined my life.

BarryCompaq@aol.com

 

10/15/2002

This is Survivor Story number 8.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

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