Amazing Story To Give You Insight Into the Feelings and Thought Processes of Animals

Washoe

Washoe and Loulis

After reading this I doubt that you will ever look at an animal the same way again. Just because they cannot speak, does not mean they do not think and feel much the same way we do. (Keep in mind that animals have long been given antidepressants and are used in testing for prescription drugs and makeup, etc.) People tend to distance themselves from animals in many ways in order to excuse what we as a society do to them. In doing so I believe we are prevented from seeing how deeply animals feel compassion and the same feelings we have for our loved ones which they clearly experience right along with us along with their ability to have deep conscious thought processes.

This is the story of Washoe and her adopted son, Loulis who learned sign language and could, therefore, communicate all of these thoughts and feelings. The insight this will give is astounding as she shows such compassion for her trainer who has lost a child! And then her adoption of a baby monkey and her teaching him to sign on her own! It will touch your heart and open your mind!

Please read her story and see more pictures here: http://www.tickld.com/x/this-is-washoe-and-shes-about-to-change-the-way-you-see-animals-seriously

762 total views, 4 views today

prozac/fluoxetine

prozac/fluoxetine
paul pezzack
i started taking fluoxetine a generic form of prozac in january 2006 after being attacked and having my jaw broken.at first i felt ok,i was prescribed 40mg a day.i started to notice that when i went out drinking i could drink a lot more than usual.sometimes i would miss out a tablet or not take them for a bit.i thought it was smoking and or drinking.so i stopped them.i gave up everything but gradually got worse.i stopped taking the prozac in august 2007,i began to feel very dizzy,lethargic,anxious.i went to my doctor and he said i shouldnt have just stopped but it was ok because they have a long half life in the body and therefore taper out on their own.on 24th september 07 i woke with a terrible headache and the room wouldnt stop spinning.i had been getting muscle spasms and hot flushes for a while but just didnt know why.i went to my doctor.he said i had an ear infection and gave me antibiotics.i took it for 2 days and just couldnt believe how i was feeling my body was as heavy as a rock,my head everywhere ,i couldnt think straight at all.i decided it wasnt an ear infection and it must be the prozac and i would try and get off them.i stayed at my mums house and didnt take any for 12 weeks,i would have nightmares,shaking,hot flushes,muscle spasms,rigid muscle and stiffness.,headaches like you wouldnt believe ,a pain in my back like a hot poker had been pushed in there,shaking,shivering,visual impaiment,foggy,feelings of being outside myself or looking through a fisheye lens and incredible urges that i might hurt my mum or myself or anyone else,i cried all the time.it was the most horrific time ever in my life it was everyday allday ,24/7 of pain and anguish..eventually i gave in on december the 6th after reading on the internet that it could take 6 months to get off them.i have had side effects ever since,all the effects i had originally have continued,it has ruined my life and i feel trapped.no doctor ive spoken to believes me,i went the hospital on many ocassions and almost got laughed at because they couldnt find anything wrong.they all say you cant have problems with prozac.they just put it down to a mental health problem and treat you like an idiot.i have considered killing myself many times to get away from the pain.but something in me keeps fighting and i want to be free.i have cut down to one fifth of a tablet now and my side effects are much easier to cope with,but i really feel like i have had no help or advice at all.i have never had anyone advise on how to get off it.i have just taken the tablets apart and cut it down over the past 2 years.even my own family dont think im ill,if it wasnt for my one brother and my mum,who sadly died in november 2009 .i would be dead for definate.i would have been better off being a heroin addict and recieved help and advice.if anyone can give me advice i would be very grateful.im from wales in the uk and it seems totally ignorant to these terrible drugs.good luck to all of the people who try to stop taking them and please remember no matter how hard it gets dont ever give up and give in.together we can fight these evil drugs.

823 total views, 1 views today

Wellbutrin destroyed my soul

Wellbutrin destroyed my soul
Matt
I’d like to share my account of the complete and total destruction of my soul as a result of antidepressant withdrawal. I didn’t even think such a thing was possible, but I now know that it is.
I’d been on a high dosage of Wellbutrin (generic: Bupropion) for 5 years for depression. I decided to stop taking it because I felt it was losing its effect and I was becoming apathetic. In the months that followed my withdrawal, I gradually began losing my ability to feel emotions. When a close relative died and I could literally feel nothing towards this event, I knew something was wrong.
That is when I decided to reinstate the drug, as I thought I might have been better while taking it. Strangely, reinstating the drug for a month did not help, but instead made things worse. I felt like I kept losing more and more of myself inside. This confused me, and I didn’t know what to do. When I stopped the drug again and reinstated a second time, I experienced one tremendous day of improvement followed by a seizure while sleeping, and waking up in a confused state. After this I regressed and felt completely dead inside.
This waking up in a confused state happened 2 more times, once in May 2010 and once in September 2010. Both of these were preceded by sudden improvements. But upon waking I felt like I had lost a basic part of my self. Not just feelings, but the core of my being. What I felt to be the complete and final destruction of my inner being happened on September 7th, 2010, and there hasn’t been a change since (it has now been 6 months).
I’ve been in an extremely peculiar state for the past 6 months. I have literally lost everything inside of me and no longer have a sense of ”inner being”. My personality has been completely erased, along with the inner psyche I’ve spent a lifetime building. When I attempt to ”look inside”, it is impossible because there is literally nothing there. Everything that made up my specific sense of personal being is gone, including including my hopes, fears, dreams, goals, opinions, values, morals, likes/dislikes, and most strikingly, all emotions and feelings.
I have no feelings associated with past events, and no emotional connections with anything in the world. Specific emotions that defined my personal sense of being are no longer there. People, places, things and events that I thought were etched in my soul as having significance no longer mean a thing. Absolutely nothing, I can’t stress this enough.
I am unable to look backward or forward, have no sense of past accomplishments and no desire for future ones. The strangest thing is, I cannot feel anything toward being in this state, as that part of me is gone too. It’s like a recursive erasure of everything I ever was, am, and will be.
It doesn’t feel like life is a conscious experience that I am having anymore, as there is no inner construct within me to absorb an experience on any level. I see, hear, touch, and smell, yet each of these is so devoid of emotional content that they don’t coalesce into anything meaningful I can call a human consciousness. My sense of being has been replaced by a constant void of nothingness that is unchanging, 24/7, I feel nothing towards the nothingness. It is not like feeling empty inside, there is no inside to feel empty within.
Obviously, antidepressants affect neurotransmitters. Maybe my neurotransmitters were severely imbalanced by the manner in which I withdrew, along the seizure(s) (there is only one I am sure of). What I don’t understand is how a neurotransmitter imbalance could completely erase me as a human being. What I’m experiencing is not depression, anhedonia, or flat affect, but a permanent change in my consciousness that literally destroyed my humanity. All the parts that made up my being are literally gone. I don’t understand how this is even possible, or what (if anything) I can do to change it. Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

1,182 total views, 3 views today

Wellbutrin (generic: Bupropion)

Wellbutrin (generic: Bupropion)
Matt
I’d like to share my account of the complete and total destruction of my soul as a result of antidepressant withdrawal. I didn’t even think such a thing was possible, but I now know that it is.
I’d been on a high dosage of Wellbutrin (generic: Bupropion) for 5 years for depression. I decided to stop taking it because I felt it was losing its effect and I was becoming apathetic. In the months that followed my withdrawal, I gradually began losing my ability to feel emotions. When a close relative died and I could literally feel nothing towards this event, I knew something was wrong.
That is when I decided to reinstate the drug, as I thought I might have been better while taking it. Strangely, reinstating the drug for a month did not help, but instead made things worse. I felt like I kept losing more and more of myself inside. This confused me, and I didn’t know what to do. When I stopped the drug again and reinstated a second time, I experienced one tremendous day of improvement followed by a seizure while sleeping, and waking up in a confused state. After this I regressed and felt completely dead inside.
This waking up in a confused state happened 2 more times, once in May 2010 and once in September 2010. Both of these were preceded by sudden improvements. But upon waking I felt like I had lost a basic part of my self. Not just feelings, but the core of my being. What I felt to be the complete and final destruction of my inner being happened on September 7th, 2010, and there hasn’t been a change since (it has now been 6 months).
I’ve been in an extremely peculiar state for the past 6 months. I have literally lost everything inside of me and no longer have a sense of ”inner being”. My personality has been completely erased, along with the inner psyche I’ve spent a lifetime building. When I attempt to ”look inside”, it is impossible because there is literally nothing there. Everything that made up my specific sense of personal being is gone, including including my hopes, fears, dreams, goals, opinions, values, morals, likes/dislikes, and most strikingly, all emotions and feelings.
I have no feelings associated with past events, and no emotional connections with anything in the world. Specific emotions that defined my personal sense of being are no longer there. People, places, things and events that I thought were etched in my soul as having significance no longer mean a thing. Absolutely nothing, I can’t stress this enough.
I am unable to look backward or forward, have no sense of past accomplishments and no desire for future ones. The strangest thing is, I cannot feel anything toward being in this state, as that part of me is gone too. It’s like a recursive erasure of everything I ever was, am, and will be.
It doesn’t feel like life is a conscious experience that I am having anymore, as there is no inner construct within me to absorb an experience on any level. I see, hear, touch, and smell, yet each of these is so devoid of emotional content that they don’t coalesce into anything meaningful I can call a human consciousness. My sense of being has been replaced by a constant void of nothingness that is unchanging, 24/7, I feel nothing towards the nothingness. It is not like feeling empty inside, there is no inside to feel empty within.
Obviously, antidepressants affect neurotransmitters. Maybe my neurotransmitters were severely imbalanced by the manner in which I withdrew, along the seizure(s) (there is only one I am sure of). What I don’t understand is how a neurotransmitter imbalance could completely erase me as a human being. What I’m experiencing is not depression, anhedonia, or flat affect, but a permanent change in my consciousness that literally destroyed my humanity. All the parts that made up my being are literally gone. I don’t understand how this is even possible, or what (if anything) I can do to change it.
Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

758 total views, no views today

Addicted to Effexor

“(It)…was one of the most horrible things I have ever experienced in my life.”

I also have posted “my story” on another informational site about anti-depressants, but I believe my story needs to be heard on your site as well. It is quite a bit to read, but hopefully it will help some people…

My problems with depression first started when I was about 9-10 years old. I had “normal” depression symptoms: I slept a lot, and was doing poorly in classes at school. I had school counselors lecture me every week about it, but I was in the “gifted” program at school, so it wasn’t as if I didn’t understand the material. This went on until 7th grade, when I failed ALL of my classes. My parents met with the principal of the school, who was threatening to hold me back. My parents thought there was something wrong with me, so I had an IQ test done to check my “capacity”. After 6 hours of testing, they found my IQ was 186, so no problems there…

My parents refused to put me on antidepressants for a long time. They were in denial that there was anything actually “wrong” with me, especially my mother… which was odd, because depression runs on her side of the family. They kept having me tested for everything else that could be causing the tiredness (thyroid and iron levels are the two I can remember). They changed my diet and we joined a health club, but it did nothing for me.

The doctor I had at the time pressed my parents for so long to put me on an antidepressant. My first antidepressant I went on was Zoloft, when I was 15. At first, the feelings it gave me were nice – my energy level went way up, and my parents were pleased that I was doing things around the house instead of sleeping. However, I gained 20 pounds in one month of taking it, without changing my diet at all. And as the months went by, I gradually needed more and more Zoloft, so my doctor decided to switch me to Celexa.

I was on Celexa for 4 months, but it was like I was on nothing at all. I didn’t feel any different from taking it. I was then switched to Lexapro (which is made by the same manufacturer, and is very similar I’m told), but it also did nothing. I was then put on Paxil, which I was on for about 5 months. At this time I was a senior in high school.

Paxil was one of the most horrible things I have ever experienced in my life. Side story: I also started having acid reflux disease at the same time my depression began, which I ended up having surgery for, also when I was a senior in high school. I was taking the Paxil up until when I had the surgery. The side effects of Paxil were intense to begin with, but also didn’t agree with what else I had going on with my body – I had intense abdominal pain, freakish dreams at night, sweated constantly, was nauseated / vomited frequently (which I did not have before despite the acid reflux), was dizzy, anxious, and went between being overheated and incredibly chilled… not to mention I gained 30 pounds in two weeks. This was all without changing my diet! But still my doctor pressed me to stay on the Paxil, saying it would take time, that my weight would go back down, that the side effects would simply just “go away,” but they never did.

When I was scheduled to have acid reflux surgery, I had to quit the Paxil cold turkey. All I can say is it made me feel disgusting. The memory most prominent to me about it was my sense became very distorted, especially my vision and hearing. For a long time, everything sounded muffled, like I was underwater. When I would move my head, or even just my eyes, I would feel and almost hear these “electric zaps” in my head. I had to stop driving from the intense dizziness (and have yet to drive since then), and that my vision became very blurry. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and I was so paranoid of everything that I couldn’t be happy, or even FUNCTION… It took nearly half a year for the effects of this to go away.

Nine months after I had quit Paxil, things were too unbearable for me to live without help from an antidepressant. Despite what I had experienced in the past, I was stupid and desperate enough to try my luck again. I was prescribed Wellbutrin, which didn’t last for a week because I had an allergic reaction to it (my body broke out in a horrible rash and I looked like a lobster!). I had to wait 3 weeks for the rash to die down after stopping the medication to try a new one… this time Effexor.

Looking back on it now I wish I had NEVER, EVER started that drug. Some of the side effects I experienced at first were nausea, constant migraines, I was extremely tired but unable to fall asleep, dry mouth, nervousness, abnormal sweating, decreased appetite, vertigo, and irregular heartbeat, just to name a few. My doctor increased me to 300 mg within a month of starting – which I’m sure was far too much, because within the first few hours of taking it, I would feel almost manic and crazed… I developed social anxiety disorder, which I’ve never had in the past, and I become too scared, flustered, and embarrassed to speak in front of more than three or four people.

Well, I had been on Effexor for almost 7 months (which would have been almost a month ago, now), when I stopped taking it. The side effects were just too unbearable. Also I am having stomach problems again, this time with a hiatal hernia, so I’m unable to digest pills. My doctor tapered me off of the 300 mg of Effexor XR within a three week period – seems too fast for someone that was on that much … He tried putting me on liquid Prozac, but the medication tasted horrible and I threw up almost instantly after every time I took it, so the Prozac didn’t last longer than a week before I quit.

I am absolutely beside myself right now with my Effexor problems – nearly a month after I quit, and I am beside myself with frustration and agony. I feel like I am addicted to this drug. I threw away the bottle after I was told to stop taking it, and now I sadly regret it so much. My brain feels like it’s screaming at me to get more of these pills, the feelings I have without them are too unbearable. I literally feel like I’m going insane. My depression is more extreme right now than it has ever been in my life. I’m having borderline personality disorder symptoms. At first I was just very tired, depressed, and agitated with everything, but now I’m having the sensory disturbances again – my hearing sounds like someone is playing with a big volume knob in my head, as things are always almost too quiet for me to hear, or too loud to tolerate.

I’m too nauseated and have too much stomach/chest pain to want to eat anything, so I’ve stopped eating solid food and now just mostly consume Jell-O, broths, pudding, popsicles, and creamy soups. I take massive amounts of vitamins and protein shakes because my health has deteriorated so much from it… my coordination and vision have become so bad that I can’t drive now. I sleep 18+ hours a day, but usually wake up every 30 minutes during sleep because of intense, sick nightmares that I have, usually about me dying… I go between being incredibly depressed and almost manic, something else I’ve never experienced before. Everything feels like it’s tipped on a 45 degree angle; I’m very dizzy, and have intense vertigo. I go to art school, and had to take off the quarter it’s gotten so bad – not to mention I can’t draw now because the tremors in my hands are so bad.

When I go in for surgery for my hiatal hernia in a few weeks, I’m going to hospitalize myself because I need more help getting through this Effexor withdrawal. I honestly feel insane. I’m so depressed that I’ve started cutting my arms, and I’m not even sure why. Also I hallucinate every few hours and see things – just today I saw blood dripping down my wall, an alligator walk across my bedroom, and when I woke up from a nap this afternoon I honestly thought I saw a woman standing over my bed with a knife. I went back to see my psych for help, and all he told me was to “wait it out” and “there’s nothing I can do for you now.” Why the hell are people prescribed these drugs if the withdrawal symptoms are so HORRIBLE?!

Reivena

533 total views, no views today

Prozac Made Me Want to Kill Myself

“Prozac is the scariest thing that ever happened to me.”

I am a 19 year old female. I struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, it peaking at the age of 14. When I turned 16, I couldn’t take it anymore and begged my mother to get me help. After seeking help from a psychologist and it being unsuccessful I finally agreed to try out Anti-Depressants.

I can’t remember all the kinds of A.D.’s I tried but I do remember that it took a while before I could find one that worked for me. One of the med’s my doc had me try was Prozac. Prozac is the scariest thing that ever happened to me. While before I would sleep all the time to “get away from the world” Prozac gave me insomnia. At night I would curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out uncontrollably. Thoughts of suicide emerged that were so intense that the only thing that kept me alive is that I was sobbing too hard to do anything. I had suicide thoughts before but it was more of a passive feeling, like “I hate life and want to die, but if it doesn’t happen now oh well.” The suicide feelings brought on my Prozac were so intense that I felt I needed to do it NOW; I couldn’t put off killing myself.

I remember being so scared of these feelings that one night while I cried my eyes out I walked to my mom’s room and woke her up, told her all the feelings. She told me to quit taking them and called my doc first thing in the morning. I waited to say something because 1) I thought Prozac just took a little while longer to take effect or that I didn’t wait long enough from the kind of A.D. I tried before and 2) I thought no one would believe me because it makes no sense for a medication that’s supposed to treat suicidal tendencies to be causing them, especially not a medication that has been around for so many years!

I like to add that I found Buspar to be effective in easing my depression but after I took it for a while I began to get extremely mean. Finally I found Effexor XR to be the best for me. I never had problems with it and I have been off for almost 2 years and am still fine.

Hayley Adams
cajundreamer@hotmail.com

399 total views, 1 views today