Married to Zoloft and I Want a Divorce

“I quit cold turkey. Big mistake! Five days later I ended up in the hospital emergency.

I knew something was really wrong.”

 

On September 1997, I went to see my doctor to complain, for the fifth time, (I had seen my doctor five times that month) of nausea and that I had very little energy. She got upset with me and told me that I was in denial, and that my problem was really depression. She prescribed me Zoloft.

At that time, I had just began my first semester in university. My illness did not go away. I felt sick and run down. Six weeks went by, and one day I got violently sick and ended up in the hospital. As it turns out, the reason I had been ill was not because of a depression I knew I had, but because I had a viral infection that had gone untreated for months.

After I was treated for this infection, I continued taking Zoloft, as I thought it my help me cope with my final exams. I continued taking Zoloft or a few months and finally decided to come off the drug. I quit cold turkey. Big mistake! Five days later I ended up in the hospital emergency.
I knew something was really wrong. The psychiatrist re-ordered Zoloft, and the withdrawal effects quickly disappeared.

After that experience, I knew that I could not quit this drug abruptly, so, a year later, I tried the tapering off method. I went from 150 mg to 50 mg in a matter of four months. The withdrawals became progressively worst, to the point that I could no longer function normally. I had difficulty putting words together; my short term memory was greatly disturbed and I felt like I as losing all mental capacity. I could not read anymore; a pass time I really enjoyed. I could no longer write; and writing was one of my favorite hobbies. To make a long story short, I had to start taking Zoloft again at a dose of 100 ml, just to be able to function.

I have been on Zoloft since 1997.Zoloft ruined my life. Sure, I was depressed before 1997, but at least, then, I was in control of my life. I had some good days. Now the good days are few and far between.(I can’t remember when I felt joy.)I went from being a functional woman with drive and hope for the future; to a scared nervous wreck. I don’t even look or feel the same anymore. It’s like being someone else. Before Zoloft, I always kept my house clean and tidy; I weighed 120 pounds and looked great; I had hobbies which kept me sane; I had a support system and my family admired and praised me. Now, I weigh 208 pounds; I little confidence and drive; I used to be good with money but now I have maxed out my credit; I have become an angry and bitter person; I have thoughts of suicide every day; I have no friends left; In sum, I am not me anymore.

Three days ago, I decided to quit cold turkey again. I am writing this now, because I know that in a few days, I won’t be able to put one word in front of the other. I already feel the withdrawals. Every time I move, my eyes lose focus and my head feels funny. It feels like it skips a beat. It’s very difficult to describe and to tell the truth, I don’t want to see my doctor because he won’t take me seriously. Since I’ve been on Zoloft, I have attempted suicide 11 times. I want myself back. I want that drug out of my system and only hope that it hasn’t caused permanent physical damage.

Zoloft ruined my life.

BarryCompaq@aol.com

 

10/15/2002

This is Survivor Story number 8.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

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