ANTIDEPRESSANTS: 52% of Women Who Committed Suicide in 2006 Were taking a…

Paragraph three reads: “We first looked at antidepressant prescriptions. Of the 776 Scandinavian men in the sample, 259 (32%) (age-adjusted 95% confidence interval [CI]=28.5–35.2) filled a prescription for antidepressants in the 180 days before death. The corresponding figures were 176 of the 333 Scandinavian women in the sample (52%) (CI=46.7–57.5), 32 of the 102 foreign-born men (31%) (CI=21.6–39.5), and 21 of the 44 foreign-born women (43%) (CI=28.7–58.1).”

http://ps.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/59/1/116-a

Psychiatr Serv 59:116-a-117, January 2008
doi: 10.1176/appi.ps.59.1.116-a
© 2008 American Psychiatric Association

Letter

Ethnic Differences in Antidepressant Treatment Preceding Suicide in Sweden
To the Editor: In the October 2007 issue Ray and colleagues (1) observed that the odds of receiving treatments for mood disorders in the year preceding suicide were lower for African Americans. The study of racial-ethnic differences in drug utilization among individuals with severe mood disorders is important. We analyzed whether similar undertreatment is present in Sweden, a country of nine million inhabitants. However, because Sweden has a different racial-ethnic composition than the United States, we analyzed country of birth instead of race.

We analyzed all suicides and deaths from undetermined intent among persons aged 18 to 84 in 2006 (N=1,255, or about 95% of all suicides). We examined use of prescription drugs in the 180 days before death. Persons born in Sweden, Denmark, and Norway, representing the Scandinavian countries, were compared with persons born in all other countries.

We first looked at antidepressant prescriptions. Of the 776 Scandinavian men in the sample, 259 (32%) (age-adjusted 95% confidence interval [CI]=28.5–35.2) filled a prescription for antidepressants in the 180 days before death. The corresponding figures were 176 of the 333 Scandinavian women in the sample (52%) (CI=46.7–57.5), 32 of the 102 foreign-born men (31%) (CI=21.6–39.5), and 21 of the 44 foreign-born women (43%) (CI=28.7–58.1).

We also examined use of antipsychotic drugs. Among Scandinavian men, 100 (13%) (CI=10.1–14.5) filled a prescription for an antipsychotic in the 180 days before death. The corresponding figures were 81 of the Scandinavian women (24%) (CI=19.5–28.9), 19 of the foreign-born men (18%) (10.7–25.4), and 16 of the foreign-born women (32%) (CI=19.8–44.6). Use of lithium was 2% or less in all groups.

As a comparison we analyzed use of these drugs among persons aged 18 to 84 years in the Swedish population in 2006 by country of birth. Among Scandinavian men, 6.1% (CI=6.05–6.10) had at least one filled prescription for an antidepressant. The corresponding figure for foreign-born men was 6.5% (CI=6.43–6.59). Among Scandinavian women the figure was 11.7% (CI=11.68–11.76), compared with 11.1% (CI=11.02–11.20) for foreign-born women. We did not analyze differences in inpatient or outpatient admission before suicide, although we have previously commented on postdischarge suicides in Sweden (2).

We have some minor concerns about the study by Ray and colleagues (1). Data used in that study represented suicides in different periods­1986 to 2004. Over those years, at least in Sweden, policies in regard to inpatient care changed. We also suspect that use of antidepressants increased substantially in the United States since the early 1990s as a result of the introduction of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). The increase in use of SSRIs in Sweden was sixfold between 1990 and 2004. In the study by Ray and colleagues, the mean age of African Americans who committed suicide was also nearly ten years lower than that of whites, which may indicate socioeconomic or other differences in the underlying white and African-American populations from which the samples were drawn.

Although one might suspect relative undertreatment of psychiatric disorders in the non-Scandinavian population in Sweden, it could not be verified by our analyses because we studied only drug utilization without knowledge of the underlying disease prevalence. However, the rates of prescription were similar for Scandinavians and foreign-born persons in our sample who filled a prescription for an antidepressant in the months before they committed suicide­and who therefore could be said to have been suffering from a severe mood disorder. This, together with the observed similar rates of prescription in the general population, could indicate equal access to drug treatment. The study by Ray and colleagues highlights an important issue in research on socioeconomic inequalities in care. Racial-ethnic differences in the use of medications may result from differences in religious and cultural beliefs that can affect both health-seeking behavior and attitudes toward suicide.

647 total views, 1 views today

Report: Overdose of prescription drugs may have killed Michael Jackson

Thu, Jun. 25, 2009

Life & Style reports that Michael Jackson
was taking a cocktail of up to seven prescription drugs in the months
before his death.

The star had been taking prescription painkillers including
anti-anxiety drugs Xanax, Zoloft (SSRI Antidepressant) and painkiller Demerol in recent
months, sources close to Jackson told Life & Style. The insider
close to the star said he took a suspected overdose of drugs on
Thursday morning, which caused respiratory and cardiac arrest.

And a Jackson family lawyer told CNN he “feared” the drugs
could kill the pop star. CNN’s interview with the source follows the
jump.

Jackson
family lawyer Brian Oxman confirmed Jackson may have had trouble with
prescription drugs as he prepared for his London show.

“This was something which I feared and something which I warned about,”
Oxman said on CNN. “I can tell you for sure that this is something I
warned about. Where there is smoke there is fire.”

Mr Oxman compared Michael to Anna Nicole Smith, alleging that Michael had ‘enablers’ just like her.

CNN details Jackson’s long history of medical problems here.
At
a news conference, brother Jermaine Jackson said doctors and family
tried “for an hour” to resuscitate the performer. TMZ’s video of the
conference is here.

Meanwhile, Hollyscoop reports that doctors visited Jackson “daily.” THe site’s latest update:

While news of Michael Jackson’s death came as a shock to many, inside
sources tell Hollyscoop exclusively that the King of Pop “had doctors
visiting him daily.”

Michael went into cardiac arrest Thursday afternoon and was rushed to
UCLA Medical Center around 1pm. His personal physician was with him at
the time and accompanied him to the hospital.

At approximately 1:14pm when he arrived at the hospital, doctors and
emergency personnel performed CPR and tried to resuscitate him, but
were unsuccessful. He was pronounced dead at 2:26pm.

The cause of his death is still unknown, but an autopsy is scheduled
for this coming Friday afternoon. Michael was transferred from UCLA
Medical Center to the coroner’s office via a Los Angeles Sheriff’s
helicopter shortly after 6pm.

Posted on Thu, Jun. 25, 2009 08:41 PM

http://www.kansascity.com/stargazing/story/1282600.html

Jackson family spokesman Brian Oxman reacts to the news of
Michael Jackson’s death. He says he is “stunned” and adds that he
warned the family that prescription drug abuse might have contributed
to his death.

“If you think the case with Anna Nicole Smith was
an abuse, it’s nothing in comparison to what we have seen taking place
in Michael Jackson’s life.”

950 total views, no views today

Michael Moore – Reveals the real cause of Columbine.


Michael Moore obtained a copy of Ann Blake-Tracy’s book, “Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare” at the premier of “Bowling for Columbine” in Denver, CO. After learning more about these drugs, see his statement from the movie he recently appeared in with Ann Blake-Tracy, Mark Taylor, Neal Bush, and others in the Gary Null production “The Drugging of our Children” Full Video http://video.google.com/videoplay?doc… OTHER SCHOOL SHOOTINGS go to. http://www.ssristories.org/index.php AntidepressantsKill.com

Michael Moore obtained a copy of Ann Blake-Tracy’s book,

“Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightamre”

at the premier of “bowling for Columbine” in Denver, CO.

1,288 total views, 1 views today

Columbine Anniversary Brings Columbine & Red Lake Together

Monday, 20 April 2009

PRESS RELEASE:
Columbine Anniversary Brings Columbine & Red
Lake Together
DATE: APRIL 20, 2009
TIME: 5:00 – 6:00 PM
Place: Clement Park, Littleton,
Colorado
INFORMATION CONTACT:
Ann Blake-Tracy, Executive Director,
International Coalition for Drug Awareness
INFORMATION INCLUDED:
– Joint statement from the family of a Columbine victim & the family of
the Red Lake, MN school shooter – total dead 25, total wounded 31
– FDA testimony of Columbine shooting victim Mark Allen Taylor
– Statement by Michael Moore about the cause of Columbine after making
the movie, “Bowling for Columbine”
– New Medical Article Linking Antidepressants to Murder/Suicide in
the Spring Issue of the Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons
COLUMBINE & RED LAKE COME TOGETHER AT COLUMBINE
ANNIVERSARY
Donna Taylor: Mother of Mark Taylor, the first boy shot at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999 as Eric and Dylan, on their way into the school, shot at those gathered to discuss scriptures outside. Eric Harris shot Mark 6 – 13 times with 9mil bullets. Mark survived earning himself the title of “The Columbine Miracle Boy.”
Tammy Lussier: Daughter of Officer Daryl (Dash) Lussier of the Red Lake Police Department and aunt to Jeff Weise who shot and killed Tammy’s father, his own grandfather, and eight others before taking his own life with his grandfather’s police firearm.
Our Message: Here we are together at the 10th Anniversary of the tragedy at Columbine High School. So, why would a family member of a school shooting victim and a family member of a school shooter come together? We want the world to know that antidepressants cause violence with the most popular antidepressant on the market today listing “homicidal ideation” as a potential side effect.
Many shot at Columbine have learned to do is to forgive Eric Harris and Dylan Kleebold for doing what they did to them. We have just celebrated the glorious Easter season filled with the reassurance that through the mission of Jesus Christ we can overcome death and live again. As we remember Columbine we feel it is crucial to recall
that as Christ hung on the cross He plead with His Father in Heaven for those who were in the process of taking His life from Him “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” In forgiving Eric and Dylan we believe that we are forgiving them for the same reason Christ asked for those taking his own life to be forgiven – they did not
know what they were doing April 20, 1999 when they took 15 lives, including their own, and injured 24 more.
Although USA Today attempted to rewrite history this past week and erroneously reported that the Columbine shooters were not on antidepressants we are here to remind the world that Eric Harris was on the antidepressant Luvox. Whether Eric was sharing his meds with Dylan, which is far too common with kids, or was on his own prescription we will never know as his records were sealed. In the Red Lake school shooting Jeff Weise was taking
the antidepressant Prozac. Our statement today is that minus antidepressantswe feel sure that the shootings at Columbine High School and Red Lake, MN High School would never have happened and neither would the
majority of the other school shootings and workplace violence shootings (see www.ssristories.drugawareness.org for a long list of documented cases).
Antidepressants push the user into a dream state leaving one to act out nightmares. Columbine was a nightmare acted out by Eric Harris and Dylan Kleebold, just as Red Lake was a nightmare acted out by Jeff Weise which took another 10 lives and injured 7 more. We do not believe they were conscious and coherent enough to fully understand what they were doing because of the adverse effects of antidepressants.
Over the past two years Donna has watched her son Mark go from a normal boy to someone she does no longer recognize because he was given two short bouts of similar drugs given to Eric Harris. Now Mark is living and
experiencing firsthand similar adverse reactions to what Eric was when he shot Mark. How ironic and tragic!
See Mark’s powerful statement below given before the FDA about these drugs that have now robbed him of who he is or was. [UPDATE: Please see the following video to see what has happened to Mark since this press release: http://www.drugawareness.org/mark-taylors-fight4columbine/ ]
If we want the shootings of Columbine and Red Lake to end we MUST learn the truth about the potential dangers of antidepressant medications.
____________________________________

Mark Taylor’s testimony before the FDA
9/13/2004

I am Mark Allen Taylor and I am a victim of the SSRI antidepressant era. I took six to thirteen bullets in the heart area in the Columbine High School shooting when Eric Harris on Luvox opened fire that now infamous day.

They almost had to amputate my leg and my arm. My heart missed by only one millimeter. I had three surgeries. Five years later I am still recuperating.

I went through all this to realize that SSRI antidepressants are dangerous for those who take them and for all those who associate with those who take them.

I hope that my testimony today shows you that you need to take action immediately before more innocent people like me, and you, do not get hurt or die horrible deaths as a result.

As Americans we should have the right to feel safe and if you were doing your job we would be safe. Why are we worrying about terrorists in other countries when the pharmaceutical companies have proven to
be our biggest terrorists by releasing these drugs on an unsuspecting public?

How are we suppose to feel safe at school, at home, on the street, at church or anywhere else if we cannot trust the FDA to do what we are paying you to do? Where were you when I and all of my classmates got shot at Columbine?

You say that antidepressants are effective. So why did they not help Eric Harris before he shot me?

According to Eric they “helped” him to feel homicidal and suicidal after only six weeks on Zoloft. And then he said that dropping off Luvox cold turkey would help him “fuel the rage” he needed to shoot everyone. But he continued on Luvox and shot us all anyway.

So, why did these so called antidepressants not make him better? I will tell you why. It is because they do not work!

We should consider antidepressants to be accomplices to murder.

_____________________________

To listen to Michael Moore’s statement about the cause of the Columbine tragedy after making the movie “Bowling for Columbine” – go to http://www.drugawareness.org/michael-moore-cause-of-columbine/

______________________________________

“Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibior [SSRI]
Drugs: More Risks Than Benefits?”

Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons: Volume 14: number 1: Spring 2009, there is an article by Joel M. Kauffman, Ph.D., [Professor of chemistry emeritus at the University of the Sciences, Philadelphia, Pa.]
In regard to the International Coalition for Drug Awareness, the study reads on page 10: “The International Coalition for Drug Awareness in cooperation with the Prozac Survivors Support Group has produced a website on which about 1,600 [now 3,000] violent incidents associated with SSRI use are described (www.ssristories.drugawareness.org/index.php).”
In regard to SSRI Stories www.SSRIstories.net documenting the link between thousands of cases of multiple murder/suicides and antidepressants, Dr. Kaufmann made the following statement on page 10: “Since no clinical trial involving multiple homicides is ever likely to be run, no firmer evidence is likely to be found. Healy noted that much of the evidence for suicide and murder came from the efforts of journalists and lawyers”.To read the full article and see the data go to the journal’s websitehttp://www.jpands.org/jpands1401.htm or http://www.jpands.org/vol14no1/kauffman.pdf

556 total views, 1 views today

PAXIL: 85 Year Old Man Kills Wife: No History of Violence

PAXIL: 85 Year Old Man Kills Wife: No History of Violence

Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:26 pm

“Paul Deyoub, a forensic psychologist with the Arkansas State Hospital in Little Rock, testified for the state that he didn’t believe Basham was delirious when he killed his wife.

“He said he didn’t believe Basham’s contention that he didn’t remember anything about the killing, and that his first memory that day was waking up in the hospital. He said nearly all defendants charged with domestic homicide that he has evaluated claim to have no memory or some loss of memory of thecrime.”

Well Mr. Forensic Psychologist just for your information (which I am sure drug companies have paid enough to your institution of higher learning to assure you never learn), the reason that ” . . . nearly all defendants charged with domestic homicide [that you have] evaluated claim to have no memory or some loss of memory of the crime” is because the large majority of those
defendants charged with domestic homicide are on SSRI or SNRI antidepressants which affect memory so adversely that “amnesia” is listed as a frequent side effect. WAKE UP!!! If they cannot even remember who they are, how can they remember what happened?!!!

And if this case was prosecuted by the same prosecutor I went up against in Fayetteville a few years ago, who could not make one statement without first reading it from the SSRI Prosecutor’s How to Manual, it is no wonder the courts’ time is still being wasted prosecuting such cases when they should be immediately dismissed and apologis and settlements issued directly from the
drug manufacturers to these families! How very tragic for this poor old man and his family!!!

[The SSRI Prosecutor’s manual is distributed by the drug manufacturers in criminal cases to make sure that anyone who commits a crime, while under the influence of their drugs, goes immediately to jail . Why? So that their drugs remain “innocent” and therefore lucrative because who would want to use a drug that a court has just said produced a suicide or murder or other violent crime? Is providing such a manual illegal? No, but probably should be. Is it unethical? Without a doubt!!!!

But it was obvious to me when testifying in these cases that this manualexisted due to prosecutors asking the same questions of me, almost word for word in every case, no matter which SSRI was involved or where in the country the case was tried. So, while working as the defense attorney on Christopher Pittman’s case, Andy Vickery asked for the manual as evidence and got a copy
for us. If anyone would like to waste their time reading it let me know and I will gladly send you a copy.]

Now back to this elderly man’s case:

As you read through the next two paragraphs understand why I gasp when I hear that this man was given an SSRI while suffering from anxiety, pneumoniaand sleep apnea. You see, anything that increases serotonin – as the SSRI antidepressants are designed to do and all antidepressants do – shuts down the lungs thereby cutting off oxygen to the brain. This is how these drugs produce brain damage, the cutting off of the oxygen supply.

[If you would like to test out this idea on your own, do what I do. Every time you see someone who is not elderly, but generally is overweight and is
carrying around an oxygen tank, ask them which antidepressant they have been on and how long. Then explain to them that the main function of serotonin is the
constriction of smooth muscle tissue which includes the lungs and bronchial tubes [and all major organs] which is why they now need oxygen. And then give
them our website because they are going to want to know what else these drugs have done to their health. But always stress that abrupt or rapid
discontinuation of the drug/drugs is very dangerous.]

Paragraph 4 reads: “Ross testified that in an attempt to explain how Basham, who never had a reputation for violence and always got along with his
wife, could have committed such a bizarre act, she concluded that Basham suffered from delirium.”

Paragraph 7 reads: “Ross pointed out that Autry Basham had pneumonia, took the drug Paxil for anxiety

and suffered from obstructive sleep apnea. All those factors, which were present on the day of Marie Basham’s death, inhibited his ability to get
oxygen to his brain. A lack of oxygen can trigger delirium, she said, especially in the elderly.”

Congratulations are in order for Dr. Ross for being able to understand the real reason for Autry Basham’s delirium was lack of oxygen!!! I wish more
doctors would work a little harder to see what is actually happening in these cases to produce such out of character behavior rather than following the old
school where the drugs involved were very different. Perhaps lack of oxygen leading to delirium is an easier conclusion to arrive at in an elderly patient,
but it does happen in all age groups and is a huge contributing factor in these tragic cases. It is also another reason why hyperbaric oxygen treatment
is so very helpful after using these drugs and subsequently suffering from elevated serotonin levels.

There should be grave concern in our country about such tragic cases as this one where a couple has had a long and loving marriage relationship and in an
instant it is ended in such horror because of what we call “medication”! For those of you who are younger and sadly may not be aware, things like this
DID NOT HAPPEN in the world we grew up in!!!! Cases like this (which I now see far too often) were basically non-existent before the widespread use of
serotonergic drugs.

As it states on the front cover of my book, these drugs have literally turned our world upside down! For this we owe the younger generation and those
generations to come our deepest apologies for the extensive damage we have allowed to occur. I fear we have left you a terrible, terrible legacy that at
this point I do not know if we can make restitution for it.

Ann Blake-Tracy, Executive Director,
International Coalition for Drug Awareness
www.drugawareness.org(http://www.drugawareness.org/) &
www.ssristories.org (http://www.ssristories.org/)
Author of Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our
Serotonin Nightmare & the audio, Help! I Can’t
Get Off My Antidepressant!!! ()

http://www.nwanews.com/adg/News/241972/
(http://www.nwanews.com/adg/News/241972/)

SEBASTIAN COUNTY : Sides dispute delirium led to husband’s killing of wife
BY DAVE HUGHES

Posted on Thursday, October 30, 2008

GREENWOOD ­ A Fayetteville psychiatrist said Wednesday that 85-year-old Autry Basham suffered from delirium brought on by pneumonia and a sleep
disorder when he slashed the throat of his 83-year-old wife last year.

The testimony of Dr. Robin Ross in Sebastian County Circuit Court in Basham’s first degree murder trial bolstered the defense’s contention that Basham of
Mansfield is innocent of murder because of a mental disease or defect at the time he killed his wife of 64 years, Lola Marie Basham, on Aug. 27, 2007.

The jury trial before Circuit Judge James Cox began Monday and is expected to wrap up today.

Ross testified that in an attempt to explain how Basham, who never had areputation for violence and always got along with his wife, could have
committed such a bizarre act, she concluded that Basham suffered from delirium.

She said tension and anxiety Basham may have been feeling over the falling out between his wife and son Jerry Basham didn’t play a role in triggering
the delirium.

Prosecutors have told jurors they believe Basham killed his wife after they argued the weekend before about her failing memory and her belief that their
son didn’t pay as much attention to them as he should, given the financial and other help they gave him over the years.

Ross pointed out that Autry Basham had pneumonia, took the drug Paxil for anxiety and suffered from obstructive sleep apnea. All those factors, which
were present on the day of Marie Basham’s death, inhibited his ability to get oxygen to his brain. A lack of oxygen can trigger delirium, she said,
especially in the elderly.

Delirium was defined as a disruption of consciousness and a change in perception that can come on rapidly and can come and go over time. It would
have been possible for Basham, she said, to be delirious and still carry out a sequence of events in killing his wife.

In rebuttal, the prosecution called Little Rock forensic psychiatrist Raymond Molden who testified there was no direct evidence that Basham suffered
from delirium.

He said the fact that Basham called his son and daughter-in-law before killing his wife and then carried out the series of actions in killing his wife
showed that he took steps in a logical sequence to bring about a result.

Following a logical sequence of steps, he said, was inconsistent with aperson suffering from delirium.

Paul Deyoub, a forensic psychologist with the Arkansas State Hospital in Little Rock, testified for the state that he didn’t believe Basham was
deliriouswhen he killed his wife.

He said he didn’t believe Basham’s contention that he didn’t remember anything about the killing, and that his first memory that day was waking up in
the hospital. He said nearly all defendants charged with domestic homicide that he has evaluated claim to have no memory or some loss of memory of the
crime.

As you read through the next two paragraphs understand why I gasp when I hear that this man was given an SSRI while suffering from anxiety, pneumoniaand sleep apnea. You see, anything that increases serotonin – as the SSRI antidepressants are designed to do and all antidepressants do – shuts down the lungs thereby cutting off oxygen to the brain. This is how these drugs produce brain damage, the cutting off of the oxygen supply.

1,716 total views, 1 views today

My SSRI Experience

“When I held a knife, I could see in my mind me killing my family and then killing myself.”

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my experience. It all starts back to December, 2003, in which my life started to take a change. I am only thirteen years old, I was only twelve then, when I started to experience mild depression. If anyone has heard the Stacie Orrico song “There’s Gotta Be More To Life” that’s exactly how I felt. I’ve had a pretty decent childhood, I mean, yeah, there’s been some hard times, but not nearly as bad as others had it.

Anyways, I got this feeling like there was something missing. It could’ve just been me being a young teenager dealing with her raging hormones. But whatever it was, it was causing a disruption in my life. I had always made extremely good grades, (All A’s and one B in math) and I usually got along with everyone. I went to a psychiatrist because I couldn’t sleep at night and I was feeling sad a lot. He diagnosed me with Social Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Major Depression Disorder.

I had been obsessed with mental health a few months before, so I knew all about these disorders already. In fact, I had printed out maybe 300 pages on different psychiatric disorders. I was convinced I was in the prodigal stages of Schizophrenia, but my doctor laughed it off and said “No way.” He prescribed Lexapro, an alleged “miracle drug” because it had few, mild side effects and it would supposedly help with all three of my disorders. It was a miracle drug, for a while. For about three weeks I was feeling on top of the world. My grades picked up, I was making more friends, and I wasn’t arguing with my steady boyfriend like usual. Then, it all went downhill. I started to feel like something was watching me, and I would have out of body experiences. When I got especially tired, I would feel like I didn’t really exist and it was all a dream. I became obsessed with gothic and dark things.

My whole personality changed. I began by gothic clothing and! I was crying every night for no apparent reason. Even more, I started having heated arguments with my mother, worse than usual. I began to get defiant, cussing, getting interested in alcohol, and thinking getting in trouble was fun. Two months into taking the medication, (going from 10mg to 15 mg) I was in a counselor’s office when I had a panic attack. I really felt like a demon was possessing me. I was crying wildly, saying that I would find a way to kill myself even if my family took all the dangerous objects away. I was that desperate to die. I even began talking to a seventeen year old boy, sending him suggestive pictures of myself over the internet and meeting with him behind my parents’ back.

In the counselor’s office, she suggested my mother take me to the hospital to be put in a crisis unit. When I got there, I was completely numb to all emotion. The psychiatrist there was a complete crackpot. He had no idea what he was doing and diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder just because my grandmother was Bipolar. To make things worse, HE ASKED FOR A LIST OF WHAT MY GRANDMOTHER TOOK.

He gave me the exact same medication, same dose. What an idiot! So I was on 800mg of Depakote and some number of Ambien. Ambien totally knocked me out. I turned into a loaf and slept all day. The Depakote made me have extremely bad cramps and feelings of paranoia. When I got out of the crisis unit four days later, my psychiatrist took me off Depakote and put me back on Lexapro.

I went home thinking everything was going to be okay. Hah! A few days later, while blasting a gothic rock CD, I had my first self-mutilating experience. It wasn’t much, but I cut myself with a blunt kitchen knife. I did enough damage to bleed a little, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. From then on, it became a habit. Now, my step dad collects daggers and swords and hangs them on the wall. I always looked, but I never touched. Around that time, 8th grade started up and I was nervous as hell. For around three days, I had no friends and no one wanted to talk to me because I was so out of it. I finally made some friends with Gothic’s like me, and I felt a little better.

But most nights, I went home crying and sitting in my closet. I would sit there in my walk in closet, with lights out and cry. And sometimes when my parents weren’t home, I’d take a pencil eraser and erase the skin on my thighs until it bled. I had about 15 incidents in which I erased my skin. I completely shut myself out from my parents and ignored them. I was rude and mean to my stepsisters. Then the time came that I built up the nerve to actually do some damage. I took a sharp dagger off the wall, blasted Evanescence as loud as it could go, and sliced my thighs 11 times, and watched myself bleed. I allowed myself to lay there and bleed, and it brought me great pleasure to know that I was dying inside. I started to laugh manically, so enthralled with my loss of blood. I wanted to cry until I laughed so hard it kill! ed me. I wanted to scream and release everything inside of me. I wanted to binge and throw up my guts. All these violent images flooded my head. When I held a knife, I could see in my mind me killing my family and then killing myself.

That brought me intense fear because I loved my family very much. In church, I would cuss God out in my head and see disturbing images of people being dismembered. My moods were swinging so badly, that my doctor put me on the antipsychotic, Risperdal. In just three months, it went from 0.5mg to 1.5 mg. (3.0 mg is a fairly high dosage) In February of 2004, I attempted suicide. I was at the ultimate rock bottom. I hated myself, I was lost in these violent thoughts, and I wanted to burn in Hell. I had no other pills, so I overdosed on pamprin.

Yes, it sounds stupid, but I was desperate. My mother found out and called the ambulance. They were not compassionate at all, and the nurse gladly shoved a tube up my nose. My stomach was pumped for six hours through a tube in my nose, and I threw up charcoal four times, not to mention it came out the other end twice. (Both times I asked for a bed pan and they took their sweet time and made me stain the sheets)

I was then Baker Acted and sent back to the crisis unit of the hospital. Four days later, I was out. Then my mother told me she was sending me to a residential. I stayed at the residential for 6 weeks, begging to come home each night. They discharged me, hoping I was better. I threw out my gothic CD’s, clothes, and stuff like that. Right now, I’m trying to repair my relationships with family and friends. But still, I feel like I have to chase down each temporary high. I truly feel that these medications did not help me whatsoever, if not made me worse. I will be hopefully taken off medications tomorrow, and I will have to go through the withdrawal process.

I strongly advise using natural remedies for depression. I feel that these antidepressants and antipsychotics do nothing for you at all, they just turn into another addictive drug like heroine or LSD. If you’re having the same problem I am, hang in there. I know we can make it through.

Holly Easter
rikuina@yahoo.com

362 total views, no views today

My Wife’s Suicide on Lexapro

“She was the most gentle, kind and compassionate woman I have ever met.”

My wife, Bonnie, to whom I was married for 32 loving years, completed suicide on Monday, January 26, 2004. She was severely depressed, on Thursday, January 22, she could not go to work. I stayed home with her and immediately took her to her physician. Her physician placed her on medical leave for a month, and referred her to a psychiatrist who saw her that afternoon. He did a lethality assessment and concluded that Bonnie was not a suicide risk, but was in fact severely depressed. Bonnie was already on Lexapro from her own physician. He elevated her dosage that day, and added Wellbutrin, both of which are on the FDA warning list. He told me what he did, but gave me no warnings of risk of suicide, and in fact told me that the drugs would help her feel better in time.

She began to experience greater anxiety and agitation over the weekend. She began making statements that simply were not rational, such as she was failing all her colleagues, and the children and families she worked with because she was going on medical leave for a month. She was a school social worker who worked with disabled children and their families, and she was quite good at what she did. When I told her that people became ill all the time, and schools and other organizations had the capability of filling in behind an employee that became sick, and it was her job to get well, she would not hear it. I tried to tell her over the weekend she was failing no one, but she just did not seem to comprehend or accept what I was saying.

The psychiatrist told me I could go back to work on Monday. I planned to take her back to see him on Tuesday morning, when she had the follow-up visit scheduled, and she knew I was going to. On Monday, I asked her if she wanted me to stay home with her, and I could go back to work on Wednesday, but she told me she would be all right. We talked on the phone about 10:00 and she said she was fine. I decided to go home at lunch time to check on her and have lunch with her. I arrived at 12:30. Some time between 10:00 and 12:30, she cut herself so violently and viciously that she lost every drop of blood in her body. This was the most gentle, kind and compassionate woman I have ever met. She never spanked our children; she just did not believe in violence. The other FDA symptom besides anxiety and agitation that I have read about is hostility. The violence on herself was incredibly hostile. It is my understanding that most female suicides are by overdose. She had plenty of pills including sleeping pills that she could have overdosed on, but she chose to attack herself. That was so wildly out of character, that I cannot understand it.

She was clearly depressed, and their is a family history of emotional disorder. However, the FDA warnings on antidepressants were an exact description of what happened to Bonnie. I can’t prove and I am not necessarily claiming cause and effect. However, I am posting this with you because I am really beginning to believe that the radical change in antidepressants affected her biochemistry, and contributed to her suicide.

If their is any way, Bonnie’s story can save even one life then I want to help do that.

Thank you for letting me share.

Fred Meservey (Bonnie’s devoted and loving husband)bonfred@nycap.rr.com

361 total views, 1 views today