Lisa & Lori

Lorraine

1956-1981

Lori’s Story

“I always knew my sister’s sudden death that was labeled suicide was

suspicious” Nothing made sense until NOW!

After almost 3 decades of being kept in the dark, I have the answer I

searched for my entire life since that tragic morning I found her in

her 1977 Buick with our father’s handgun in her lap. I promised her

that morning I would not give up until I found t

he “truth” about what

really happened to her. My sister loved her family and knew we loved

her. She would not of taken her life. So why did she?

Summary of my story:

My sister moved home to file for divorce in 1980.

I am her younger sister Lisa, and we spent the most time together when

she moved back home. I was thrilled to have the time with her. We were

very close.

She was a strong, smart woman and was determined to make it on her own.

She worked for the county that we lived in and was very well liked.

They were shocked as everyone was to hear about her sudden death. So

out of character.

The time she lived with us she was fine. Going to work taking one day

at a time to rebuild her life. Until Suddenly the last month to weeks

she  changed.

I listened, and I watched her suddenly turn into someone I did not

know. I could not figure it out. Why was she acting like this? Saying

these things to me? Finding it funny to scare me?

She started to talk about death and dying, and included me in her ideas

on how I could help her end her life. (ways we could try)

Some examples: She would loop a belt around her neck and ask me to pull

as hard as I could until she stopped breathing, She would ask me to

come in the middle of the night and put a pillow over her face to

suffocate her in her sleep, she would lay still in her bed and when she

heard me coming she would pretend to be dead when I shook her to wake

her up… she would not move until she started to laugh hysterically, and

would say “I’m just joking Lisa..I just wanted to see what you would do

if I were really dead? and what it would really feel like to be dead? I

wouldn’t really do it …I’m too chicken!”

Soon another sudden change came about she started to say things like

“HE” is in your closet and going to get you. Will you sleep with me in

my room?! Never made sense. She also would go from laughing and joking

about something then it turned into anger and agitation and confusion

at times.

Something else happened shortly before she took her life. She was

very sick with the flu.  She lost a lot of weight, she could not eat,

drink, or get up out of bed she was very pale and fragile looking. I

felt so bad I could not help her feel better.

She often fell asleep with her bible on her face she looked like she

was searching for a answer to something that was happening inside her

she did not understand.

I had to take the bible of her face when she finally was able to sit

still and take a short nap. Her sleeping pattern was all off as well.

The night before she took her life I remember so clear all the details.

I remember everything.. from how she kept rocking in our rocking chair

we had in the living room. She would n

ot stop. She also was talking

much faster than usual and walking much faster as well. When I asked

her to stop rocking so fast she just looked at me like she couldn’t

stop, or didn’t want to. It was like someone was pushing her to rock. I

thought it very odd at the time but soon overlooked it because her

behavior had been so altered lately that I almost was getting use to it.

Lori came into my bedroom late that night and stood in my doorway. She

was talking to me.

The last thing she said was “Well I’ll see you in the morning!” and off

she went down the hallway and I heard the door slam as it always did

behind her. I did not know it then but that was the last time I would

see her alive.

On September 22 1981 I was getting ready for school. I went into her

room to borrow a shirt of hers and I quietly asked her if I could

borrow it.

She did not answer. So I took it and got ready to catch the bus.

As I walked out the front door down our driveway I had to pass her car.

From a distance all I could see was RED. My first thought was “here she

goes again,  She is trying to fool me again, and this time she used

Ketchup!

Well as I got closer..I saw my sister through the car window as she lay

on her side with her head on the headrest of the passenger side door. I

could see her face clearly. There was blood dripping from her bottom

lip onto the seat and still I was in disbelief.

Our father came out of the house broke the driver side window unlocked

the door got in the car reached across her body to unlock the passenger

side door ran around the car as fast as he could to then find out my

sister was not moving. She was not alive. She was gone.

My sister’s body lay across my fathers lap and he just kept repeating

Why?

My father’s spirit died at that moment he realized his daughter was

dead.

We had no answers, there was no evidence that somebody could of helped

her there was no clues left behind. So It appeared at the time

“suspicious”

Decades later the truth has surfaced. Finally I was able to put it all

together.   I was going through my sister’s box of things I packed almost 28 years

ago.  I came across many things I remembered from the time… Including a

medicine bottle. We knew my sister was put on a medicine to help her

with stress from the divorce so it was not a surprise that I packed the

bottle off her dresser.

However..the shock came to me when I typed the name of the drug into

the computer just months ago.

Slowly…it all came together..and I mean all of it. From the things she

said to the things she did. To the rocking in the chair to the things

she was seeing that were not there ..and finally to the flu like

symptoms that come with the Sudden withdrawal of the

medication!

The Black Box Warnings that today are on ALL antidepressant drugs says

it all.

My sister was put on this drug Aug. 18 1981.

She stopped taking it as many people did due to the side effects.

She was in bed with the flu which turned out to be not the flu at all

but the withdrawal from this prescription drug that in the end killed my

sister!

I WAS 13 YEARS OLD

LORI WAS 25

PEOPLE ASK ME WHY NOW DOES THIS MATTER?

MY ANSWER IS…BECAUSE NUMBER ONE MY SISTER IS DEAD.

NUMBER TWO I AT 13 HAD TO LIVE MY ENTIRE LIFE WITH SUSPICIAN ABOUT WHAT

HAD HAPPENED TO HER!

I HAD TO LIVE WITH THE NIGHTMARES, I COULD NOT WALK BY A PARKED CAR FOR

YEARS DUE TO THE FEAR OF SEEING HER INSIDE AGAIN,

I WOULD GO TO THE CEMETARY FOR THE FIRST FEW YEARS RIGHT FROM SCHOOL

AND JUST SIT AND ASK..WHY..HOW..SOMETHING IS MISSING. I KNOW YOU DID

NOT DO THIS. YOU WOULD NOT DO THIS.

I WAS TORMENTED BY HER BECAUSE OF A MIND ALTERING DRUG..THAT WAS AND

STILL IS LEGAL IN THIS COUNTRY.

I COULD NOT SAY GOODBYE TO HER WHEN SHE DIED BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID TO GO

UP TO THE COFFIN DUE TO THE FACT I THOUGHT SHE WOULD JUMP UP AT ME AND

LAUGH LIKE SHE DID BEFORE.

I HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL BECAUSE OF THE DAMAGE THIS DRUG DID TO MY

SISTER..AND TO MY FAMILY.

AND I KNOW THERE ARE OTHER FAMILIES OUT THERE STILL IN THE DARK!!

I HOPE TO FIND THEM AND LET THEM KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO THEIR

LOVED ONE IF OUR STORIES ARE SIMILAR..AND THIS RX DRUG WAS INVOLVED!

——————————————

THE DRUG WAS CALLED IMIPRAMINE. GENERIC FOR TOFRANIL

ALSO PRIOR TO THE SSRI THE CLASS OF DRUG LORI WAS ON WAS CALLED A TCA. TRICYCLIC 3 RING MAKE UP..THIS DRUG WAS THE FIRST ANTIDEPRESSANT INVENTED IN THE LATE 1950′S.

** MANY DID NOT LIKE THE DRUG DUE TO ALL THE SIDE EFFECTS/ADVERSE REACTIONS THAT CAME ALONG WITH IT.

MOST PEOPLE WHO TOOK THIS IN CLINICAL TRIALS OR STUDIES SHOWED THEY DROPPED OUT DUE TO THESE SIDE EFFECTS. NEVER GOT TO THE POINT WHERE IT WAS SUPPOSE TO TAKE EFFECT!

THAT IS WHAT MY RESEARCH SHOWED.. BUT YOU ASK ANN TRACY.

YOU MAY WANT TO ADD THIS TO LORI’S STORY SOMEWHERE IF YOU CAN:

WHEN WE TOLD HER DOCTOR SHE WAS ACTING LIKE SHE WAS ABOUT DEATH AND DYING..WE WERE TOLD NOT TO WORRY ABOUT IT THAT SHE WOULD NOT DO ANYTHING BECAUSE IT WAS NOT IN HER. SHE WOULD NOT REALLY HARM HERSELF OF ANYONE ELSE.

WELL…THAT WAS ANOTHER PIECE THAT DID NOT FIT.

THIS WAS TRUE.

**** THE DOCTOR BACK IN 1981 WHO GAVE HER THIS DRUG FOR MERE STRESS OF A DIVORCE…DID NOT KNOW..THE DRUG THEY GAVE HER WAS INDUCING HER BEHAVIOR.

THEY HAD NO IDEA..THEY WERE IN THE DARK JUST AS LORI WAS..AND US HER FAMILY WERE.

IT JUST SIMPLY LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS GOING CRAZY AND LOSING HER MIND!!

WHEN IN ACTUALITY SHE WASN’T..THE DRUG WAS INDUCING THIS REACTION!

but the one thing I wanted to make clear on the taking this drug Imipramine is that FROM START TO FINISH IT WAS ABOUT A MONTH. AUG 18 1981 SHE STARTED IT.

THEN STOPPED she told a friend I don’t like how this medicine is making me feel I’m not taking it anymore.

SEPT. 22 1981 SHE SHOT HERSELF IN THE HEAD AT 1AM.

FOUND AT 7AM PRONOUNCED DEAD AT 8:32AM

AND HER SUSPICIOUS SUICIDE WAS JUST RECENTLY SOLVED AS OF A FEW MONTHS AGO!

I AM OUTRAGED!

The Note she left behind said:  It’s Nobody’s fault I Just Flipped!!!

then drew a smiley face.”

She often drew smiley faces when she wrote things in general. but even the smiley face did not match her normal happy ones.

Lptpkp@aol.com

PLEASE SIGN Lori’s Petition to help me find others: :http://tinyurl.com/mt63tp

Part of the Warning on this drug today:

patients should be carefully supervised during the early phase of treatment with imipramine, and may require hospitalization. Prescriptions should be written for the smallest amount feasible.

Hypomanic or manic episodes may occur,  Such reactions may necessitate discontinuation of the drug. If needed, imipramine may be resumed in lower dosage when these episodes are relieved.

All patients being treated with antidepressants for any indication should be monitored appropriately and observed closely for clinical worsening, suicidality, and unusual changes in behavior, especially during the initial few months of a course of drug therapy, or at times of dose changes, either increases or decreases.

The following symptoms, anxiety, agitation, panic attacks, insomnia, irritability, hostility, aggressiveness, impulsivity, akathisia (psychomotor restlessness), hypomania, and mania, have been reported in adult and pediatric patients being treated with antidepressants for major depressive disorder as well as for other indications, both psychiatric and non-psychiatric. Although a causal link between the emergence of such symptoms and either the worsening of depression and/or the emergence of suicidal impulses has not been established, there is concern that such symptoms may represent precursors to emerging suicidality.

Consideration should be given to changing the therapeutic regimen, including possibly discontinuing the medication, in patients whose depression is persistently worse, OR who are experiencing emergent suicidality or symptoms that might be precursors to worsening depression or suicidally, especially if these symptoms are severe, abrupt in onset, or were not part of the patient’s presenting symptoms.

Families and caregivers of patients being treated with antidepressants for major depressive disorder or other indications, both psychiatric and non-psychiatric, should be alerted about the need to monitor patients for the emergence of agitation, irritability, unusual changes in behavior, and the other symptoms described above, as well as the emergence of suicidally, and to report such symptoms immediately to health care providers. Such monitoring should include daily observation by families and caregivers.

patients should be carefully supervised during the early phase of treatment with imipramine, and may require hospitalization. Prescriptions should be written for the smallest amount feasible.

Hypomanic or manic episodes may occur,  Such reactions may necessitate discontinuation of the drug. If needed, imipramine may be resumed in lower dosage when these episodes are relieved.

Comments are coming in since my story posted:

I’m 48 years old and my introduction to Zoloft began when I was 34. I’ve since learned that the symptoms of fatigue and difficulty sleeping and concentrating that I was having at that time were due to over-work and adrenal exhaustion. That doctor had me fill out a questionnaire and then spent maybe 10 minutes with me before giving me free samples of Zoloft.   Had I known then, what I know now?… And I must forgive the past and not dwell on it in order to heal.

In June of 2008, my nutritionist who was treating me with amino acid therapy took me off Zoloft abruptly.  This caused me to go into a manic state, which I had never experienced before.  It also brought up a lot of anger.  After about a ten days, my wife and I figured out it was the discontinuation of Zoloft that was causing all these problems, so I went back on it.

Because of all my weird behavior, I had left the house and was staying at a hotel.  My wife got my sister involved and she stayed with me for a couple of days but didn’t bring along her bi-polar medications.  I remember distinctly the night of July 13th:  I slept from about 9pm to 5am, went for a work out and did my meditation.  I was definitely stabilizing.

Then my sister took me into town, my wife and I had another fight and, in my anger and frustration, I broke the rear view mirror off my sister’s car.  This caused her to freak out.  We had picked up her meds and agreed to go back to the hotel and take a nap.  I later learned that she had already called the police.

When we arrived at the hotel, the cops came to my door (hands on their holstered guns) and ordered me out of the car.  They hand cuffed me, searched me and put me in the squad car.  Then, as I later learned, my sister and wife had a discussion about “wether or not to tell the police that I had threatened her.”  My sister told the police a lie, that I had threatened her with a gun and I was hauled off to the ER where I was doped up with an injection.

Later I was taken to the psychiatric hospital where I was asked to sign a bunch of forms and “releases.”  How absurd!  I was only semi-consicouss at the time.

At the hospital I was taken off the Zoloft and diagnosed as bi-polar.  Of course, this through me into another withdrawal episode and made me manic and aggressive again.

I want to point out that I have no history of violence, have never been in any sort of brawl, have never been arrested, have never before been put in handcuffs, no DUI tickets and even a clean driving record.

The hospital changed my drugs every few days.  Zyprexa, Lithium, Depakote, Abilify, etc.  After 20 days, I was discharged. The insurance and family money was expended, so I was well, right?

Far from it:  My wife filed for divorce.  I lost access to my home, which was also my office.  She cleaned out the company bank account, etc.

Eventually, I lost pretty much everything and got saddled with all our debt and received none of the assets due to a waiver of “appearance” I signed 3 days out of the hospital.  We had agreed on a negotiated, one lawyer divorce, but I ended up getting totally screwed.

Over the past 12 months, I’ve lived in 5 states.  I’ve had a couple of “room and board” jobs and stayed with friends.  Fortunately, my mother has been able to give me some financial support, so I haven’t been without the basic necessities of life.  Through a friend, I found Dr. Tracy and she helped me understand what happened to me and gave me phone support while I finished the detox from the Zoloft these past few months.

Now, I’m well enough that I’m looking for  a job again so I can restart my life.

I’m certainly not bipolar.  What a bunch of total bullshit.  All I’m taking right now is 0.5 mg of Klonopin (Clonazepam) twice a day to help with anxiety and sleep.

I used to have a pretty normal life.  I made a six figure income.  My wife (18 years of marriage) didn’t have to work. We had a nice house and the swimming pool I had wanted since I was a child.  Now, all that’s gone.  All because of a stupid little pill and all the people that don’t know what the hell their doing with all these powerful drugs.

During the 13 years I was on SSRI Antidepressants, I saw several different psychiatrists and doctors.  They experimented on me with many different drugs: Effexor, Celexa, Abilify, Alprazolam, Clonazepam (Klonopin), Depakote, Lunesta, Trazodone, Xanax, Zyprexa and of course Zoloft (Sertraline).

Of all the drugs, Lamictal was the worst.  Once the doctor increased the dose from 50 mg a day to 200 mg a day (I’ve since found out that is NOT an increase in accordance with the manufacturers instructions) I had horrible, disgusting nightmares every single night and became highly suicidal.  This happened in October of 2008, and freaked me out so much that I went back on Zoloft and some other drugs so that I could get my sleep.

During all these crazy times, I have survived because of my spiritual faith, the generosity of my mother and some good friends and Divine Grace.  Also, because of the various nutritionists I’ve had over the years, I’ve learned how to eat well and take the right supplements.  Cenitol by metagenics is magnesium supplement that has been especially helpful with relaxing me and helping me sleep.  I order that online at:  http://www.janethumphrey.meta-ehealth.com.

Lastly, I would like to mention that none of these doctors I saw gave me any sort of what I would call informed consent.  I was never informed about all the adverse reactions and side-effects that I’ve now learned were well known back then.  None of the doctors explained that, according to their view of brain chemical imbalance, I would need to stay on these SSRI Antidepressants for the rest of my life.  None of the doctors EVER explained discontinuation syndrome etc, etc, etc.

These drugs manufactures and the doctors that push these drugs are all involved in a horrible scam, the tragic consequences of which yet to become fully manifest.

My intense gratitude to Dr. Tracy and the good work she is doing!