A Paxil Withdrawal Success Story

The Paxil was altering the way I thought – my thought processes were not me.”

My story has no tragic ending to it…THANK GOD!!!!

Pre-Paxil: I was experiencing severe anxiety (mostly physical sensations running through my body) along with just feeling NOT like myself. It was like someone else was walking around in my body instead of me – I had lost myself. My sense of well-being was totally destroyed… I could experience no comfort in anything – nothing. After an initial visit with a psychiatrist for 65 minutes, I was diagnosed with life-long depression (dysthymia) and now I had hit an even deeper depression. No reason why, just happened. I guess the years of raising two wonderful lively healthy sons, being married for over 25 years, active in volunteer work, working full time, seemingly well adjusted to this life with all it’s foibles and struggles…all counted for nothing.

So, I started taking Paxil.

Paxil days: I was so black inside – I could not be alone – I have NEVER been that way my entire life! My hands were shaking so bad I could hardly write. Interestingly the depression seemed to be subsiding – there was an indiscernible ‘lift’ – but I was still not myself. I fought anxiety and a feeling of desperation constantly!!! I told my husband numerous times how much I loved him and no matter what happens to me don’t ever forget that… Because sometimes I feel like I won’t be able to control the urge to kill myself. Someone suggested I see a peri-menopausal specialist – I may need estrogen. I am pushing 300% to just get through the day…

Paxil and estrogen days: After beginning the estrogen it only took a few days to “feel” myself coming back. YES! It is slow – but Lynda is coming back. However, I still shake – my sleep isn’t right – it’s not restful, no appetite, still feel overwhelmed in my thoughts, confused and hard to concentrate… but I can deal with all of that because my sense of well-being is returning. I want to stop the Paxil. It is altering the way I think.

Paxil withdrawal: My symptoms…horrible aches all throughout my body… I could hardly open and close my hands it was so painful. Felt like I had a huge case of the flu… confusion, inability to concentrate – worse than ever. I started experiencing the electrical zaps in my brain. Frightening! I was very, very dizzy. Ultra confused. I could hardly lift my head off of the pillow because the pain was so intense in my neck and head . I began experiencing stomach cramps and severe diarrhea. And the nightmares! They were horrible! VIVID bad dreams. And I could hardly handle the intensity of sights and sounds… I thought I was going crazy! I had to fight the intense feeling that I had to take more Paxil… and the intense feeling that I had to drink (I am a recovering alcoholic – 17 months sobriety)…

Day 10 of Paxil withdrawal – July 7th, 2003: Without a doubt I can say my brain is working better than it has in 6 months. I still have stomach cramps, dizziness, intense dreams, zapping sounds in my brain…. but I can finally say the total Lynda is almost back. The Paxil was altering the way I thought – my thought processes were not me. This is different than a sense of well-being . The sense of well-being was lost because of the hormone deficiency. I could never have handled the Paxil withdrawals had I not had my sense of well-being back. The altered way I was thinking was prompted by the Paxil.

Thankfully I never acted upon the suicide thoughts. Thankfully I never was violent (although I had to work extremely hard to control myself).

Lynda Frieden
LFRIEDEN@svbank.com

2,105 total views, 0 views today

Serotonergic Poisoning on Paxil

“My teeth no longer feel like my teeth and I have horrible electrical feelings in my mouth.”

I was being treated for a bipolar depression with St. John’s Wort, and my doctor prescribed Seroxat (Paxil). This was in June 1999. I became seriously ill within three days and then had all sorts of drugs thrown at me for my “depression.”

All these brought various horrors with them. In fact I suffered “serotonergic poisoning” for 22 months.

There was no acceptance of my constant statement that Seroxat was responsible (although I was taken off it after a while). There are no words to describe what it felt like. I could so easily be dead, for several reasons.

I feel terribly disabled now with a variety of neurological damage caused by the experience. e.g.. My teeth no longer feel like my teeth and I have horrible electrical feelings in my mouth. This is called ‘OFD.’ Of course I am receiving medication for this.

In summary I could say that my life is wrecked, but I try not to make sweeping statements for my own sake.

I am progressing as bravely as I can and want to make as good a recovery as possible. This is the only way, otherwise I would truly despair, and if I have any choice in the matter I am not going to let this win. This is the real me talking, rather than the drugs.

294 total views, no views today

Sturggling to Withdraw from Paxil

“Thanks for everything you’re doing to help people like me and for working so hard to get these drugs off the market.”

I’ve taken SSRI’s for nine years and am really struggling in my withdrawal from Effexor. I am unable to work due to my inability to focus, mood swings, fatigue, etc. I’m trying to read your book, but slowly. I have a hard time focusing. Its hard to believe these drugs are still being manufactured, marketed, and distributed the way they are in light of all the information and documentation you present.

I am on a nutrition supplement. If I wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t get any nutrition at all due to my low appetite. Today is a bad day, I can’t believe this is happening to me. I can’t work, I’ve never been unable to work for any reason. I’ve always worked and enjoyed working. Now I abhor the thought of trying to undergo the process of looking for a different job because I know I can hardly function at times. My husband and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary later this month, but my withdrawal has definitely taken some of the joy out of that. Not to mention the tremendous stress this has placed on our new marriage. My husband’s first wife died of cancer, he cared for her for several months as she deteriorated. I don’t know if he’s going to be able to handle this. He can’t understand why I just don’t find another job and start working again. I look like I’m fine, what’s the problem? I’ve tried to explain to him what this is like and what this is about but I think he completely discounts it. Its just not real to him. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s getting tired of all this, as I am. But I didn’t ask for this, and I have tried to explain that to him to no avail. I feel really guilty and ashamed, putting this added pressure on him. Today was such a bad day, I woke up feeling hopeless and alone. I spent a good deal of it crying, and isolated. I just feel so spent, like there’s nothing much left in me. I don’t mean to sound like I’m whining, but I don’t know where else to turn. Do you have any suggestions or direction for me?

As far as my withdrawal goes, I did do my first cut back today in awhile. I have been on 37.5mg for a couple months and had been maintaining. I have the capsules, not the tablets. From what I’ve heard its easier to withdraw using the SR version. I divided the capsules as best I could, I think I’m probably at about 32mg now. I can’t wait until I’m off this drug. I’m exercising every day, but when I look in the mirror I feel disgusted because I put on about 30 pounds from being on this drug. I never had a weight problem in my life so that part of this is hard too. I guess that’s all for now. Hope this isn’t too long. Its hard for me to take the time to sit down and focus to do this so I think I get a little wordy because I’m afraid I won’t be able to write again for awhile. Thanks for everything you’re doing to help people like me and for working so hard to get these drugs off the market.

KathyKatLover@aol.com

382 total views, no views today

An Answer to Our Nightmare on Paxil

“I feel like I am on a crusade to help prevent another family and child from going through this experience.”

 

Finding this web sight was such a revelation to us. After reading through all of the experiences, we knew that we finally had the answer to the nightmare that we experienced. I immediately wrote the following letter to all of the doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, and special education teachers that had worked with my son. I feel like I am on a crusade to help prevent another family and child from going through this experience.

Our son began experiencing anxiety and panic attacks upon our move to a new home in the country. They became frequent enough for us to seek help. We found a therapist and upon his recommendation, we took him to our family doctor. The doctor prescribed 5 mg. of Paxil. Almost immediately, there was a change in his personality. He became much more anxious, angry, and aggressive. Our son had never exhibited this behavior before. A phone call to the doctor resulted in raising the level to 10 mg. At this time, he began having horrible rages and out of control behavior. He destroyed the interior of our vehicle, and kept threatening to jump out of the moving vehicle. At that point, in desperation, I called a psychiatrist. He raised the dosage of Paxil to 20 mg. and added 15 mg. of Buspar! This caused us to visit hell with our son. At therapy, I voiced my concern that his behavior and personality were so strange. The therapist approach was to discuss his behavior as though he were deliberately misbehaving. Following that session, our son become enraged and proceeded to rage at me, his father, destroyed his bedroom, verbally and physically abused us for approximately 3-4 hours that evening. We finally got through to the doctor who immediately told us to not give him any more of the drugs. We stopped the drugs cold turkey. He had been on the Paxil for less than a month.

This was the beginning of a least a 3-year journey into hell, which we now believe was generated by the Paxil, and later on the Serzone. He continued to have rages, severe “fight or flight’ responses where he would run away from anything he thought might threaten him . He was unable to function in school and we had to place him in special education as an emotionally disturbed child. A special “one on one” aide was given to him to help keep him from running away. He repeatedly abused us verbally and often physically. He would lie in bed at night sobbing at how he felt. At different times he would threaten to hurt himself as well as others. Any little thing would set him off and he would go into another “rage” that could last for hours.

At that time, we visited with another psychiatrist and began seeing another therapist. Our son was put on Serzone and we were told to increase his dosage until 350 mg. He continued to fall apart, and twice we ended up at the Crisis Center. The second time, we were told to raise his Serzone to 600 mg. and keep him at home. Our lives had been devastated. And still no one could give us a real reason for his bizarre, out of control, so totally out of character, behavior, other than to tell us he had Panic and Anxiety disorder. Bi-polar and other disorders were discussed. In therapy, Bi-Polar disorder was discussed, possible abuse was insinuated. We now believe that the real problem was personality changes brought on by the medication and yet no one addressed this possibility. Our psychiatrist left it to our discretion to raise and lower our sons medications as we saw the need. We knew that we wanted him off and once he seemed calmer, we took it upon ourselves to gradually, very slowly remove him from the meds completely. It took us over a year, and now our son has been drug free since March of 2002. His personality has come back. He is doing well in school. He has not had a rage in a year. He is a loving, happy kid and we are looking at a happy life again.

We are angry and disgusted. We are terrified when we think about all that has happened. All because of a lack of knowledge on the part of professionals who should have realized that the problems we were having were not because of family life, or mental illness or abuse or “being angry with your mother”. Drug companies are experimenting on our children and doctors are taking the word of these people and dispensing drugs without fully knowing or appreciating the consequences.

Please, when a desperate parent comes to you for help, before you write out that prescription, make sure that you inform the patient and parents about all the potential problems. Research the drug fully so that when you dispense it you can do so with good conscience. Think, before you attribute the problem to “family problems” that maybe a child is experiencing a reaction to one of these drugs and treat the problem immediately. Pharmaceutical drugs save lives, but also destroy lives.

Our lives will never be the same, but we are recovering. We were lucky. Our son is still alive and the future looks bright. My goal is to make sure that as many people know about what happened so that others may avoid the hell we went through.

Doris and Brian Petro
314 Co. Rd. F45
Penrose, CO 8124
petro@amigo.net

393 total views, no views today

Baum, Hedlund, Aristei, Guilford & Schiavo vs. Glaxo Smithkline Corporation

LA judge denies class action for Glaxo Paxil suit

Reuters

A U.S. judge in Los Angeles on Monday denied a request to certify as a class action a lawsuit claiming that GlaxoSmithKline Plc’s (GSK) anti-depressant Paxil is habit-forming. U.S. District Judge Mariana Pfaelzer said in her ruling that attorneys for a group of Paxil users failed to present a manageable trial plan.

Baum, Hedlund, Aristei, Guilford & Schiavo vs. Glaxo Smithkline Corporation

1/13/2003

LA judge denies class action for Glaxo Paxil suit

Reuters

To learn more, go to http://www.baumhedlundlaw.com.

A U.S. judge in Los Angeles on Monday denied a request to certify as a class action a lawsuit claiming that GlaxoSmithKline Plc’s (GSK) anti-depressant Paxil is habit-forming.

U.S. District Judge Mariana Pfaelzer said in her ruling that attorneys for a group of Paxil users failed to present a manageable trial plan.

Glaxo, Europe’s biggest drug maker, argued that it would be difficult for the court to determine if each member of a large class experienced the alleged withdrawal symptoms, including nausea and dizziness.

In October, Pfaelzer rejected a request from the same attorneys that advertisements stating that Paxil is “non-habit forming” be permanently barred.

The company was supported in court by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, which said it had previously reviewed in-depth Paxil’s side effects and concluded that the drug is not habit forming and, as a result, the ads did not mislead.

The Paxil users are suing the British-based drug maker in federal court in Los Angeles, claiming that it deliberately played down the severity of withdrawal symptoms associated with abruptly stopping the drug.

Paxil, Glaxo’s top-selling product, reached sales of $2.7 billion last year.

©2002 Reuters Limited.

557 total views, no views today

Homicidal and Suicidal on Zoloft and Paxil

“1 week on the Paxil and I was nuts!”

 

Recently experiencing a mind-altering homicidal/suicidal Zoloft induced event in my own life, I wondered if any studies have been done to determine how many of these men had been taking an SSRI.

My personal experience, thank God, did not end in a completed homicide or suicide. If it not for your website and links I know I would not be here to testify to the dangers of SSRI’s.

I am currently withdrawing from Zoloft for the 4th time in 10 years. It saddens me even to admit this. Why I again took the drug that had led me to suicidal ideation when withdrawing from it in the past is beyond me.

I want to share with you my recent frightening experience.

I successfully withdrew from 8 years of taking Zoloft last year. By April, 2002 I was medication free. I also stopped receiving depo-provera injections. In Aug. I experienced depression (I now think was PMS) and was very adverse to any treatment with an SSRI. My depression lingered and my Dr. insisted I go back on an SSRI ”because I was just one of those people that will always need an SSRI to live a normal life”. She suggested that since I had effectively gone off Zoloft that Paxil would be a better alternative. 1 week on the Paxil and I was nuts! 2 weeks on the Paxil and I developed severe heart palpitations, increased anxiety and a total inability to concentrate. I titrated myself to shavings of Paxil and went back to the Dr. She was unhappy that I had decreased the Paxil dosage, and thought I should have increased it to “get past that”. We agreed Zoloft had worked before, and I immediately quit the Paxil and started back on a 50 mgm Zoloft dose with a psychiatric consult in 2 weeks. My Dr. felt that “my psychiatric problems were beyond her scope” and suggested my meds be evaluated by a shrink.

After taking the Zoloft 50 mgm for 1 week, I developed a homicidal and suicidal obsession. I was functioning in a somewhat normal fashion, but could not avoid thinking about suicide almost 24 hours a day. I felt it was the only answer to my problems. On the day of my psych consult, I was in despair over the anxiety attacks I was experiencing at night, waking me out of my sleep. I also was in despair over the invasion of suicidal thoughts and feeling the need to kill my child (to protect her) that were overwhelming me. I told this to the intake nurse during my initial psych interview.

She escorted me to the psychiatrist, who gave me some diagnostic fill in the blank tests. He increased the Zoloft to 100mgm a day, gave me a 2 week sample of Wellbutrin to start bid and gave me a sample bottle of Zyprexa to take prn -”for when you are really losing it”. I scheduled a follow up appt. for 2 weeks and left. I went home, picked up my daughter and took her to her gymnastics class. While waiting for her, I read the inserts in the drug sample boxes. Oh, My God! This information scared me out of my wits! I determined that the shrink really thought I was nuts without telling me! I immediately went to the bathroom and flushed the samples away. I thought, if I get any more suicidal, I’ll be over-dosing on my samples in a flash. While watching my daughter work so hard at her gymnastics, I decided I could not bare any more thoughts of killing her or myself. I needed to get home, get to your site and start researching what was wrong with me!

After her class, when we arrived home, the police were in my drive-way. I was fearing some tragedy had happened to my sons or husband. When my daughter and I entered our home, I found I was the tragedy!! The police had been waiting for me for 1/2 hour. They had been dispatched to my home, by the intake nurse at the clinic. She had called the police and told them I was going to kill my daughter and myself. The police had spent the time before I got home questioning my family, searching our home, and removing my husband’s gun collection from the house. All this was done with my husband’s permission as he and my boys were totally unaware of my problems. The police interviewed me for a 1/2 hour and 2 more police came to our home. After another 1/2 hour they decided I was o.k. and left. I had a lot of explaining to do to my family. They were as alarmed as I . For lack of insight and desperation I started taking 100mgm of Zoloft that evening.

About a week later after developing extreme heart palpitations and increased anxiety (which my m.d. gave me Xanax for). I went to your website and found a link re: Zoloft side effects; I found that suicidal and homicidal ideation within the first few weeks of use was a known side effect.

It would have been very beneficial if the psychiatrist and other professionals I came in contact with would have known this. As soon as I read this I went to another link for more help and decided to taper off the Zoloft. The anxiety, depression, and especially the heart palpitations have subsided.

I had an echocardiogram and holter monitor which showed I was fine. I haven’t got all the Zoloft out of my system yet, but am hopeful that I will use ANY alternative to SSRI medication should/when the depression returns.

After careful evaluation of my situation, and having had successful use of Zoloft for many years, I had come to the conclusion that I needed more Zoloft because I was SO depressed about the suicidal ideation. I spoke directly to a phone counselor from another link. He was very helpful in explaining that THE SAME MEDICATION (ESPECIALLY SSRI’S) CAN CAUSE NEW SIDE EFFECTS WHEN THEY ARE TAKEN AGAIN AFTER BEING DISCONTINUED. It was a logical explanation to what had gone wrong!

If it weren’t for your website and links I doubt I would be able to write this. Thank-you Dr. Tracy for saving my life.

Thank you, again.

Laura Kandl

 

11/26/2002

This is Survivor Story number 7.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

452 total views, no views today

Donald Schell vs. SmithKline Beecham

Donald Schell vs. SmithKline Beecham

Glaxo Raises White Flag, Settles Paxil Trial Appeal, and Pays Up

Rick Giombetti

In a bombshell comparable to the recent belated revelation of the disaster that hormone replacement therapy has been, I have learned that Paxil manufacturer Glaxo-Smith-Kline (GSK) has secretly settled its appeal of the ruling in the Paxil trial last year.
Donald Schell vs. SmithKline Beecham

7/23/2002

Glaxo Raises White Flag, Settles Paxil Trial Appeal, and Pays Up

http://www.counterpunch.org/giombetti0723.html

Rick Giombetti

In a bombshell comparable to the recent belated revelation of the disaster that hormone replacement therapy has been, I have learned that Paxil manufacturer Glaxo-Smith-Kline (GSK) has secretly settled its appeal of the ruling in the Paxil trial last year.

GSK was sued in federal district court in Cheyenne by family members of Donald Schell, the Gillette, Wyoming man who killed his wife, daughter, granddaughter and then himself on February 13, 1998 after two days on the pharmaceutical giant’s anti-anxiety/depression drug Paxil. The plaintiff’s position was that Paxil was the primary cause of Donald Schell’s actions in the murder-suicide. The jury agreed and the judge in the trial rejected GSK’s challenge of the validity of the scientific data presented to the jury by the plaintiff’s. As a public service I will be publishing the crucial expert testimony and cross examination of British psychiatrist and psychiatric historian David Healy soon.

GSK appealed the verdict in the case in Denver, but recently gave up, I have been told by Healy. The deal in the appeal settlement GSK made with the plaintiff’s calls for the company getting all of its documents back, and a set of confidentiality statements from the plaintiffs side to not release anymore details of the case not already in the public domain. This is an important development in the history of psychiatric medicine. The jury verdict forced GSK to cave in to the demands of the Medicines Control Agency, the British government agency that regulates prescription drugs, that it place a suicide warning on Paxil. GSK has had to place a suicide warning on Paxil in Britain for about a year now. Now the question remains will this same warning ever make it over to this side of the Atlantic, with as much publicity as the hormone replacement story has gotten? Not likely, I believe, but I hope I am wrong.

Even though there isn’t a widely publicized suicide warning being given for Paxil, or any other drug in its class, known as “Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors,” or “SSRI’s,” it’s not like there is a complete information black out about these newer generation psychiatric drugs in consumer prescription drug guides.

For example, in the recently published 10th edition of The Pill Book, it warns patients taking SSRI’s (i.e. Celexa, Luvox, Paxil, Prozac and Zoloft) that “The possibility of suicide exists in severely depressed patients and may be present until the condition is significantly improved. Severely depressed people should be allowed to carry only small quantities of SSRI’s to limit the risk of overdose.” The term “overdose” can just as easily be read as “killing themselves.” Also, “As many as 1/3 of people taking an SSRI experience anxiety, sleeplessness and nervousness.” In other words all the symptoms that can push a depressed person over the edge and into a suicide attempt. Finally, the recently published 5th edition of The Physicians’ Desk Reference Pocket Guide to Prescription Drugs warns patients considering taking the SSRI known as Zoloft “May also cause mental or emotional symptoms such as: Abnormal dreams or thoughts, aggressiveness, exaggerated feeling well-being, depersonalization (“unreal” feeling), hallucinations, impaired concentration, memory loss, paranoia, rapid mood shifts, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, tooth-grinding, WORSENED DEPRESSION (emphasis is the authors).”

Now why on Earth are pharmaceutical companies allowed to get away with marketing these drugs as “anti-depressants,” or “anti-anxiety” agents when they can produce in patients exactly what they are supposed to treat at such high rates? This is the deeper question about the mass marketing of these drugs the mass media is simply avoiding by a combination of cowardice, laziness and just outright ignorance in reporting on these issues.

Rick Giombetti is a freelance writer who. lives in Seattle. Visit his website at: http://rjgiombetti.blogspot.com/. He can be reached at: rickjgio@speakeasy.net

1,006 total views, 0 views today

Doctor Tells Patient that Antidepressants Treat Pain

“I realize that these antidepressants messed up my brain chemistry.”

 

I have been diagnosed with Occipital Neuralgia (Nerve Pain in the Occipital Region of the head) by a number of different doctors. I have tried different medications to relieve the nerve pain, but none of them seemed to relieve the pain completely. One doctor suggested I try an antidepressant. I told him that I wasn’t depressed, just in pain. He told me th antidepressants help treat chronic pain. Thus, I decided to try this antidepressant called Paxil for my nerve pain.

I took it for six months, but wish I hadn’t! After six months, I felt like I couldn’t think straight (I was in a zombie like state), had memory loss, gained weight, experienced sexual dysfunction, etc. I came off Paxil cold turkey, but realized that was a mistake (I didn’t realize at the time that I was suppose to come off these type of medications very, very slowly). The doctor wanted me back on the medication, but didn’t provide an explanation. I told him why would I go back on a medication that has these side effects. I didn’t go back on the medication. I became severally depressed (even though I wasn’t depressed before taking the Paxil).

I almost lost my job because of my depressed mood. I honestly don’t know how I managed to keep it. After about 6 months of no medication I was given short doses (a weeks’ worth) of anti-inflammatory steroids for my nerve pain. That made my depression worse. I read later that steroids deplete serotonin. I started to develop nerve pain down the back of my legs. I think the Depression and nerve pain down the back of my legs was caused by my brain chemistry being altered by Paxil and then the introduction of another medication made the brain chemistry worse (I didn’t think about this at that time).

So by now I had Depression, Occipital Neuralgia and nerve pain down the back of my legs. Another doctor suggested that I try a different antidepressant. I told him of the unpleasant experience I had with Paxil. He recommended that I try Prozac. Told me it was different from Paxil. I tried it, but was very weary because of my experience with Paxil. The only reason I tried it was because I wanted rid of the Depression, Occipital Neuralgia and the nerve pain down the back of my legs.

After about four months on Prozac, I encountered similar side effects to the Paxil. The only difference instead of weight gain, I experienced weight loss. I came off this medication, but this time very, very slowly. I learned my lesson from my Paxil days. While on the Prozac it didn’t really help my depression or nerve pain down the back of my legs. I was still depressed, had the Occipital Neuralgia and the nerve pain down the back of my legs. I didn’t know what to do. I tried some exercise, but just didn’t feel right.

I know that Paxil and Prozac had something to do with the way I was feeling. The Depression and nerve pain down the back of my legs became to much, that I went on another antidepressant called Celexa. I told my doctor about the experiences I had on Paxil and Prozac. He told me this is a newer antidepressant and has fewer side effects than Paxil and Prozac. I took that for about 1 and 1/2 years. It took care of my Depression, but didn’t really take care of the nerve pain down the back of my legs. I eventually came off the because of the side effects. The side effects of Celexa were similar to Paxil, but not as harsh.

I am still stuck with Depression, Occipital Neuralgia and nerve pain down the back of my legs. I realize that these antidepressants messed up my brain chemistry. I have ordered PROZAC: PANACEA OR PANDORA? By Ann Blake Tracy, PhD. I hope this book can provide some answers and solutions. I am also considering taking the herb St John’s Wort, but will read the book first to see if I can get any answers/solutions to my problems.

Is there any action I can take against the makers of these drugs and the doctors that prescribed them to me? All of this has happened over a four year period. I have had the Occipital Neuralgia a lot longer than that.

 

6/11/2002

This is Survivor Story number 21.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

439 total views, 0 views today

Teenager Didn’t Know What He Was Doing on Paxil

He ended his life because of this damn drug.”

 

On Nov.6, 2000, my world was turned upside down. Life as I knew it was changed forever on that day. My beautiful 19 yr old son was put on the drug Paxil for depression. He was never monitored and I was never told of the dangers associated with this mind-altering drug.

He was on this drug for about 3 weeks. Then on Nov. 6,2000, my son took a shotgun and put it in his mouth and pulled the trigger. He ended his life because of this damn drug.

How can they claim that it is safe when all I hear is how dangerous this drug is and that when you are on it, you have to be monitored very closely.

I was told by the doctor that “it wouldn’t hurt him.” Well when I asked my son one day if he was still taking it, and he said yes, but he didn’t like the way it made him feel, I asked him what he meant by that.

He said “like I don’t know who I am or what I am doing”.

Now he is silenced forever and I am living a life of never having to see my son grow into a wonderful person. He will never have a family of his own thanks to that “damn wonder drug” known as PAXIL.

I wish that they would pull that drug from the market so no other family will have to live this nightmare.

Sally Vanwinkle
sallyvanwinkle@hotmail.com

 

5/5/2002

This is Survivor Story number 25.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

454 total views, no views today

Teenager Loses Creative Passion on Zoloft and Paxil

“Paxil almost made me go insane after just a few days.”

 

I’ve been looking for a site like this for a long time now-ever since I decided (thank God) to get off my antidepressant medication.

Ok, so I am a 17-year old male, right… When I first got to high school, my parents divorced so things were kind of a mess and for the first time in my life I had made “enemies.”

Well, that’s when I first started seeing a psychiatrist. We would talk and underlying everything that was discussed to make me “better” was a deep, conviction that I was so terribly shy and this needed to be cured.

So I tried Zoloft and Paxil, but went off them immediately after not even a week. I will say that the Paxil almost made me go insane after just a few days. Yes, it was against the doctor’s word to go off them. Thank God I did though. Then a while passed and this time I thought I truly needed help.

I had gotten into a fight at school and received threats from a lot of people. I was completely paranoid and my mom (and I gave in) put me in the mental hospital (for kids). Oh my God, this is where I had like my calling or whatever the hell I was thinking (hoping they could cure me so I would fit in and be my “old” self again).

I don’t even remember if all this is right because my memory is really screwed up now. But, so I went on Celexa this time and unfortunately, for good…I was sixteen at the time. I talking a lot more in class, my anxiety was gone, I got really into the stuff they were feeding me at school, and my reputation for a nice, respectable young man went down the tube. I guess it was my own doing. But I started wanting to be different from everybody else, but I was Zen-like, using the Bible (it’s cover) as an inspiration.

I think I had too much ADD to read the bible at the time-it was just a matter of calming my emotions. Ok, so mix these calming drugs with listening to the band Radiohead. Not cool at all. I lost my two best friends. I got full of myself because I had gotten accepted to an art school. But the summer between leaving my old school I started believing I was getting really close to my family. My Dad at least because he was (and still is) taking the same medication I was. But I would say anything that came to mind. I thought I was “better”…

Then art school started and I went from being a boring person with a vivid imagination that could be translated to paper (drawing) to a zombie who could only draw from observation. My concentration was really good but I had spurts of anger with anticipated culmination of disaster. I was a totally different person. I wasn’t self-conscious at all anymore, had no friends either. Then I saw something in the other people at that school that reminded me of the old-me (the one I didn’t like for some reason) that made me want to change.

“A beautiful mind”, “one flew over the cuckoo’s nest”- these movies made me realized I’d lost my artistic passion or whatever the hell I had before. A reason for living…

Well, yeah so then I went cold-turkey off the medication and slowly but surely went insane. It was not cool at all. I re-visited the past that I had tried to escape on medication. I thought I had lost the “holy spirit” though and this made me think about committing suicide. It was horrible. Before I would say such things to get attention but now I really felt it.

The bottom line is, do not believe that you have a depression that needs “correcting”. My God, that’s what I believed but then I realized it is just the devil doing his work. I have no life now really. I had lots of talent and potential and I think its all gone now because I thought I had a problem but really didn’t. Now when I hear these antidepressants being touted to save people or whatever, I have other thoughts. It’s hard for me to realize that I am my old self again. I had to piece back together my memory. It is better to be this way than a zombie on drugs though.

RtskooL@aol.com

 

5/4/2002

This is Survivor Story number 26.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

462 total views, 0 views today