ANTIDEPRESSANTS: Suicide: Man Out of Prison for 3 Hours: England

Notice from the article below that this fellow had been abruptly discontinued from his antidepressant when incarcerated in November. Then while still in the critical withdrawal stage was re-introduced to the use of an antidepressant – likely a new one since jails and prisons have access to a select few they prescribe. So he likely had three strikes against him leading to his sudden and very determined suicide.

Dr. Ann Blake-Tracy, Executive Director, International Coalition For Drug Awareness

Paragraph four reads: “The jury inquest at Nottingham Coroner’s Court heard Mr Brown had been at the prison for five weeks and was four days away from being released when he was seen by a psychiatrist and given anti-depressants.”

SSRI Stories note: The most likely time for suicidal behaviors and SSRI antidepressants are: 1. When first starting the drugs: 2. When stopping the drugs. 3. While increasing the dose: 4. While decreasing the dose. 5. When switching from one SSRI to another antidepressant.

http://www.thisisnottingham.co.uk/homenews/Coroner-criticises-healthcare-Nottingham-Prison/article-1196220-detail/article.html

Coroner criticises healthcare at Nottingham Prison
Monday, July 27, 2009, 07:00

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A CORONER has criticised health services at Nottingham Prison after an inmate committed suicide hours after his release.

Gary Brown, 39, of Cranwell Road, Strelley, drowned on December 24, 2007.

He was seen jumping off Trent Bridge less than three hours after he was released from the prison.

The jury inquest at Nottingham Coroner’s Court heard Mr Brown had been at the prison for five weeks and was four days away from being released when he was seen by a psychiatrist and given anti-depressants.

Notts coroner Dr Nigel Chapman said there was a “huge gap” between Mr Brown seeing a GP on his arrival at the prison and seeing a psychiatrist.

The inquest heard there was a lack of communication between health workers, and one doctor at the prison called it “an entirely haphazard system”.

Mr Brown arrived at Nottingham Prison on November 15, 2007. He saw a GP, Dr Lloyd, the next day, who said Mr Brown was not showing symptoms of mental health problems.

Mr Brown said he had previously been prescribed anti-depressants but Dr Lloyd did not renew the prescription as he could not obtain any previous medical records.

Other members of the health team said they tried to get hold of Mr Brown’s medical records but were unable to trace them.

Dr Julian Kenneth Henry, who also saw Mr Brown, told the inquest the amount of time between the prisoner arriving and seeing a psychiatrist was “unprecedented”.

He said: “Unfortunately, in a prison setting there are an awful lot of people involved and there are failures of communication on a daily basis.

“It’s an entirely haphazard system. It’s a very disjointed system and there is not an excuse for it.”

Mr Brown saw psychiatrist Dr Trevor Boughton on December 20 and was given a prescription for anti-depressants.

Dr Boughton said Mr Brown seemed anxious but not psychotic or suicidal.

He said: “He seemed very eager to be released from prison. He spoke very fondly of his brother, whom he was hoping to spend Christmas with.”

The inquest heard the medication was not likely to have had any effect on Mr Brown by the time he was released four days later.

Senior prison officer Vince McGonigle said Mr Brown was released between 9am and 9.30am on December 24 and seemed “in an agitated state”.

Less than three hours later, at around 11.45am, a member of the public saw him jump from Trent Bridge into the River Trent.

Kyle Charles told the inquest: “I saw a person in the water and tried shouting at him. I managed to get the orange ring off the wall and threw that into the water but he swam away from it.

“When he saw me taking my jacket off he held his nose and then started to push himself under the water. He went down, came back up, went down and never came back up again.”

Mr Brown’s body was pulled from the water at 2.55pm. There was no evidence of any violence and no alcohol found in his system.

The jury returned a verdict of suicide, with a majority of six to two. They said there had been a “severe breakdown” of communication during Mr Brown’s care.

Coroner Dr Chapman said: “Clearly there have been difficulties here and the prison has taken those on board.”

But he said Mr Brown’s time in prison would have been a good opportunity to put him on medication and monitor him.

He added “a simple phone number” for a crisis team would be beneficial for people leaving prison.

samantha.hughes@nottinghameveningpost.co.uk

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DEPRESSION MED: 15 Year Old Hangs Himself: Illinois

FDA ‘black-box’ warning – In 2003, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration began warning of an increased risk of suicidal thoughts among youths taking anti-depressants. In 2004, the agency required a new, more stringent label when antidepressants were prescribed to those under 18.

Between 2003-04 the youth suicide rate jumped 14 percent
– the steepest increase ever seen – while the number of antidepressant prescriptions for youths dramatically dropped during the same period: 20 percent for children 10 and under, 12 percent for 11-to-14-year-olds and 10 percent for 15-to-19-year-olds.

Paragraphs 29 & 30 read: “He stopped going to school and began attending an outpatient program, seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and taking medication for depression and anxiety. He tried returning to school on a half-day basis, but soon became overwhelmed with makeup work and inquiries from classmates who heard rumors he had tried to kill himself. After a few days in school, Iain asked to be readmitted to the hospital, where he stayed for a week, his parents said.”

“But as summer approached, he began showing signs of improvement. He was easier to communicate with, did his chores when asked and his doctors believed they had found the right balance in his medication, his father said.”

Paragraph 32 reads: “Lain’s parents and friends say they do not know of any incidents that might have triggered what happened June 3, when his father found him in the basement. His death was ruled a suicide by hanging, according to the Cook County Medical Examiner’s Office. He did not leave a note.”

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2009/07/05/20090705bullying.html

Bullied boy’s short life ends in suicide
Jul. 5, 2009 08:20 AM
Associated Press

CHICAGO – The bullying seemed inescapable.

His family and friends say it followed Iain Steele from junior high to high school
– from hallways, where one tormentor shoved him into lockers, to cyberspace, where another posted a video on Facebook making fun of his taste for heavy metal music.

“At one point, (a bully) had told (Iain) he wished he would kill himself,” said Matt Sikora, Iain’s close friend.

Iain’s parents know their son had other problems, but they believe the harassment contributed to a deepening depression that hospitalized the 15-year-old twice this year. On June 3, while his classmates were taking final exams, he went to the basement of his home and hanged himself with a belt.

His death stunned his quiet suburb west of Chicago and unleashed an outpouring of support for his parents, William and Liz, who say greater attention should be paid to bullying and its connection to mental health.

“No kid should be afraid for himself to go to school,” his father said. “It should be a safe environment where they can intellectually thrive. And he was, literally, just frightened to go to school, fearing what he would have to deal with on that day. And it was day after day.”

A school spokeswoman said she did not believe Iain was bullied. Police are investigating the allegations.

Nearly 30 percent of American children are bullied or are bullies themselves, according to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological and is repetitive, intentional and creates a perceived imbalance of power, said Dr. Joseph Wright, senior vice president at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington.

Soon, the American Academy of Pediatrics will for the first time include a section on bullying in its official policy statement on the pediatrician’s role in preventing youth violence.

Wright, a lead author of the statement, said the decision to address the issue was due to a growing body of research over the last decade linking bullying to youth violence, depression and suicidal thoughts.

Last year, the Yale School of Medicine conducted analysis of the link between childhood bullying and suicide in 37 studies from 13 countries, finding both bullies and their victims were at high risk of contemplating suicide.

In March, the parents of a 17-year-old Ohio boy who committed suicide filed a lawsuit against his school alleging their son was bullied. Instead of seeking compensation, they are asking the school to put in place an anti-bullying program and to recognize their son’s death as a “bullicide.”

Iain Steele enjoyed riding his skateboard, his father said, but after hip surgery in 8th grade limited his mobility, he picked up the guitar and impressed an instructor with his musical talent.

He was revered by younger kids in the neighborhood, often fixing their skateboards, settling their disputes and including them in games. “He was a very gentle, kind kid, compassionate to a fault,” his father said. But Iain’s embrace of heavy metal set him apart from classmates. He let his hair grow to shoulder-length and wore mostly black clothing, including jeans with chains and T-shirts of heavy metal bands with dark, sometimes morbid lyrics.

For this, his classmates at McClure Junior High School often called him “emo” – a slang term for angst-ridden followers of a style of punk music, said Sikora, 15.

The bullying could also be physical, Iain’s friends and parents said. In 8th grade at McClure, one bully pushed Iain into a locker while he was on crutches and accused him of faking an injury to get out of gym class. Iain rarely shied away from his tormentors, however, and in this case, he punched the bully in the jaw, his father said.

“He was mainly bullied only because he was different, or hurt, or stupid things like that,” said Sikora. “He never bothered anybody. … It was all just because he was different and an easy target.”

William Steele said his son had trouble ignoring the bullying because it “was just sort of relentless.” It got to the point where the father sat down with the principal at McClure and with a bully’s mother. But the harassment did not subside.

Steele said, “(Iain) had a real trust issue because he felt like, particularly at McClure, the system let him down, that it didn’t deliver on its promise to protect him from bullying.”

McClure Principal Dan Chick said in an e-mail “the District 101 community is deeply saddened by this recent tragedy of losing one of our children.” Chick said he takes bullying very seriously but declined to discuss details of Iain’s case because of privacy issues.

“As with all situations, I investigated this specific matter and took appropriate actions within the limits of my authority,” Chick said.

After graduating from McClure in 2008, Iain began attending the south campus for freshmen and sophomores at Lyons Township High School, where he found new friends – and new tormentors. A new bully emerged who at first acted friendly but then posted a homemade video on Facebook pretending to be Iain playing heavy metal on guitar.

“It was like a public humiliation to (Iain),” Sikora said.

The family of the student did not respond to requests for comment.

Jennifer Bialobok, a spokeswoman for Lyons Township High School, said “bullying is obviously not tolerated at LT,” but added, “I don’t think we’re naive enough to think that bullying behavior doesn’t exist.”

Two years ago, Lyons Township created a “speak up line” in which students can anonymously report “inappropriate or unsafe behavior,” and the school hangs posters defining bullying and explaining how to report it, Bialobok said. If any student reported being bullied, a thorough investigation would take place, with consequences ranging from parental notification to out-of-school suspension, she said.

Bialobok said she could not discuss Iain’s case because of student privacy laws, but, “we don’t believe that bullying was an issue while Iain was attending LT. Counselors and a host of other support personnel worked routinely to make his experience at LT a positive one.”

Local police have not documented incidents of bullying involving Iain but are still conducting interviews, Deputy Chief Brian Budds said.

By this winter, Iain’s mental health had begun a downward spiral, his parents said. In February, he told them he was having suicidal thoughts and asked to be admitted to the hospital.

He stopped going to school and began attending an outpatient program, seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and taking medication for depression and anxiety. He tried returning to school on a half-day basis, but soon became overwhelmed with makeup work and inquiries from classmates who heard rumors he had tried to kill himself. After a few days in school, Iain asked to be readmitted to the hospital, where he stayed for a week, his parents said.

But as summer approached, he began showing signs of improvement. He was easier to communicate with, did his chores when asked and his doctors believed they had found the right balance in his medication, his father said.

“He seemed to be in a calm, happy place,” he said.

Iain’s parents and friends say they do not know of any incidents that might have triggered what happened June 3, when his father found him in the basement. His death was ruled a suicide by hanging, according to the Cook County Medical Examiner’s Office. He did not leave a note.

Looking back, Iain’s parents wonder what factors besides bullying may have contributed to their son’s depression.

Iain’s favorite heavy metal bands, such as Lamb of God and Children of Bodem and Bullet for My Valentine, often have lyrics with dark messages. One Bullet for My Valentine song is about being bullied, and another song contains the refrain: “The only way out is to die.”

Also, Iain was deeply hurt this spring after a brief relationship with a girl he met in his outpatient program. The two exchanged text messages, but her parents and therapists advised against them dating and about two months ago barred her from having communication with him.

Still, Iain’s parents remain convinced bullying played a significant role in their son’s depression. As Iain’s story spread through the community, many people approached Liz Steele to describe their own experiences with bullying, depression or suicide, she said.

“A lot of people don’t want to talk about mental health or bullying because it’s a difficult thing to talk about, but we need to talk about it,” she said. “It shouldn’t be a stigma.”

Meanwhile, the community has rallied behind the Steeles. In Iain’s memory, his classmates tied white ribbons around hundreds of trees in the neighborhood. On June 10, about 500 people attended a memorial service at First Congregational Church of Western Springs.

Rich Kirchherr, senior minister at the church, said the community has felt a “deep and abiding sadness” since Iain’s death. Kirchherr said few people seemed aware that Iain was bullied.

“There is an acknowledgment now, as people have discovered that Iain might not always have been treated with the respect that every person deserves,” Kirchherr said. “Many people were surprised to hear that.”

Friends have established several Facebook groups in his memory, including the “Iain Steele Remembrance Group,” which has more than 700 members. The commentary on the group’s wall was summed up by a Lyons Township High School student who said she did not know Iain but had learned an important lesson from his death.

“I’m learning to treat everyone with respect, even people who I don’t know well or people who I might not get along with,” she wrote. “If there is anything good that can come out of this tragedy, the responsibility lies with us to live with kindness and be aware that life is fragile.”

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He Gave me Samples of Zoloft

“I found myself actually considering suicide which I had never done before. It was scary.”

Hi,

I would like to share the story of my experience with the drug Zoloft. At this time, would like to keep my identity private due to the personal nature of what I am revealing. I am a professional musician who is losing my hearing. In 1998, I had several health problems including a lesion on my vestibular nerve, causing chronic, disabling vertigo. I had to wait months in between visits to the “expert” doctors trying to diagnose the problem. I saw a psychiatrist because I was depressed, cried easily, etc..actually, instead of having mental illness, I was sick and having a normal reaction to being sick.

I thought the psychiatrist would want to talk with me. That is what I thought I was there for. I believed in the healing powers of talk therapy. Strangely to me, she did not seem to be interested in my story and after 15 minutes or so of me telling my “story” gave me samples of Zoloft, even after I told her I am very sensitive to medications. I went home that afternoon and took one of the pills. I was 35 years old. I had taken LSD when I was a teenager. There was a very good reason I stopped taking LSD then. About 20 minutes after I took the Zoloft, I began to get shaky and nervous, EXACTLY like the first stage of LSD. I was going very fast, starting to get giddy and laughing. The phone rang, it was my closest friend, I could barely contain myself, until I heard it was her. I burst out laughing and shaking and for all the world felt like I was on LSD. I had never had hallucinations on the drug LSD, but rather, the same shaky, “high”, laughing, intense, experience I was having on Zoloft.

I called the psychiatrist immediately. She told me “that shouldn’t happen”, that Zoloft takes 3 weeks to kick in, and told me to take it again the next day. That night the “high” subsided and I went into a deep dark depression, completely unlike the existential “depression” I had come to the doctor for. I had NEVER felt anything close to this! I found myself actually considering suicide which I had never done before. It was scary.

Mostly because I am a deferential person, the next day as per doctor’s orders, I took the Zoloft again. I had essentially the same reaction after I took the pill the second time, but slightly less intense. I called the psychiatrist again, and told her about the experience of the night time depression including the suicidal feelings that I had not had before, and she again told me that that “shouldn’t happen” and again to continue taking it. I had the depression at night again, but slightly less intense. I knew I could not keep taking it. There was a reason I quit taking LSD as a teenager!

I stopped taking Zoloft, and I never had those symptoms again. I made an appointment to see the psychiatrist again, and in my deferential manner told her I had “self-medicated” by taking myself off the drug. She noted in my records that I was “self-medicating”. And she gave me samples of Wellbutrin in pretty little boxes. Of course I did not take them.

I did not return to the psychiatrist. The “high” experience I had with Zoloft was much like my experience with LSD initially, but the depression at the end of the day was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was dark. A dark dark place, where I was considering ways to kill myself.

I don’t understand why the psychiatrist would tell me “that shouldn’t happen” when in 1998 the suicidal side-effects were known. Was she just strangely uninformed about the drug she was handing out so casually? Or did she not believe it?

These are very very strong and potentially damaging drugs. I am concerned when I hear about anyone on them. I know it is not just children who may become suicidal. I know it is very possible for an adult to become suicidal out of the blue as a direct result of taking the drug Zoloft, because it happened to me. I stopped taking it, the side effects stopped immediately, and I then simply lived through the experience of the loss of losing my hearing. The lesion on my vestibular nerve healed eventually, and I am essentially fine. Life has pain and trials, yes. I’m not happy all the time and don’t expect to be. I want to have the full experience of being human, which includes pain and trial. To pretend that human “unhappiness” can be cured with a drug, seems ludicrous to me. The dangerousness of the drugs they have settled on is obvious to me. I hope that support for these drugs will stop.

Thank you for your work.

361 total views, 1 views today

My Effexor Withdrawal Story

“There were times where it seemed like I could barely sort out how to walk or breath.”

I have been through a good number of meds for depression and mood stabilizers. Never have I experienced any withdrawal effects until now. In December of 2003 the Effexor “lost its efficacy.” Turns out that 6 months drug trials do not show that this antidepressant frequently just stops working. I was taking 75 mg Effexor (immediate release) in the morning and after work. Once I was stabilized on Wellbutrin XR my psychiatrist put me on a taper of 75 mg, 50 mg, 25 mg for one or two weeks each. In February of 2004 I was on the 25 mg when my dad died. We stopped the taper figuring there was enough going on.

I did not realize it at the time but I was experiencing withdrawal during the taper. I thought it was just something in me acting up. (I am one of the over 50% of folks with bipolar who are also addicts – toss of a coin I guess – clean since March 24, 2003.) I was real irritable, poor coordination, light headed/weird feeling in the back of my scull, hallucinations from the corner of my eye, extreme confusion. There were times where it seemed like I could barely sort out how to walk or breath. Not to mention I became acutely aware of the sexual side effects I had unknowingly been experiencing from the Effexor.

So now it is May of 2004 and we decided to finish the taper. I was on 12.5 mg for a week and now I have been on 0 mg for 2 days. This is hell. I had withdrawal on the 12.5 mg but it was OK. I was real irritable with everyone, emotional, all the symptoms that I experienced before. Within 3 days things were OK and then by the 4 everything seemed back to normal. But the withdrawal from 0 mg is the worst. Added to the list of symptoms are intense flu like stomach sensations, and sobbing jags. Usually they are 5-10 second jags and happen for no reason. It happened 4 times while watching “Where the heart is.” This is not a movie that should make a person cry 4 times. Now that it is the second day with no Effexor the crying jags have gotten longer and more intense. Now there are tears whereas before there were none. I do feel like the crying is helping to mourn my father’s death some more.

I feel like the first day I put down dope. Part of the reason I stay clean is because I never want the feeling of having 1 day clean. I see people come in with a few days clean and the misery and pain is so clear. They help to remind me how much it sucks to get clean. That it is so much easier to stay clean than to get clean. I have not used but here I am feeling like I just walked into the rooms.

I don’t know if I am looking to get into a lawsuit but I do not understand why Effexor is still prescribed. I know that the reason it is still on the market is because it is still bought. Drug companies are in the business of making money so I do not really blame them. If the med stops selling the company will take it off the market. However doctors are in the business of making people well. It is the doctor I hold responsible more than the drug company. Is Effexor being prescribed out of ignorance or is there a unique benefit that outweighs the risks of withdrawal symptoms? I don’t know. I do know that I need to talk to my psychiatrist about it. I also know that I have heard a bunch of people saying they are Effexor and I have been telling! them to get off as soon as possible.

Thanks for letting me share.

Jon Faber
bankytoo@yahoo.com

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Paxil Psychotic Event Required Hospitalization

“No one explained to me what happened.”

In November 2001 I was on Paxil. The drug was making it hard for me to concentrate and other effects… then one day I woke up from a horrible nightmare and ended up in the emergency room since I suffered a psychotic breakdown.

No one explained to me what happened. A year after the psychotic event the new psychiatrist told me Paxil can have a psychotic side effect in some people.

Since the hospitalization I was given more medicines to take daily. I’m suffering through withdrawal now. And I’m trying to get off one prescription.

Mary

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My SSRI Experience

“When I held a knife, I could see in my mind me killing my family and then killing myself.”

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my experience. It all starts back to December, 2003, in which my life started to take a change. I am only thirteen years old, I was only twelve then, when I started to experience mild depression. If anyone has heard the Stacie Orrico song “There’s Gotta Be More To Life” that’s exactly how I felt. I’ve had a pretty decent childhood, I mean, yeah, there’s been some hard times, but not nearly as bad as others had it.

Anyways, I got this feeling like there was something missing. It could’ve just been me being a young teenager dealing with her raging hormones. But whatever it was, it was causing a disruption in my life. I had always made extremely good grades, (All A’s and one B in math) and I usually got along with everyone. I went to a psychiatrist because I couldn’t sleep at night and I was feeling sad a lot. He diagnosed me with Social Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Major Depression Disorder.

I had been obsessed with mental health a few months before, so I knew all about these disorders already. In fact, I had printed out maybe 300 pages on different psychiatric disorders. I was convinced I was in the prodigal stages of Schizophrenia, but my doctor laughed it off and said “No way.” He prescribed Lexapro, an alleged “miracle drug” because it had few, mild side effects and it would supposedly help with all three of my disorders. It was a miracle drug, for a while. For about three weeks I was feeling on top of the world. My grades picked up, I was making more friends, and I wasn’t arguing with my steady boyfriend like usual. Then, it all went downhill. I started to feel like something was watching me, and I would have out of body experiences. When I got especially tired, I would feel like I didn’t really exist and it was all a dream. I became obsessed with gothic and dark things.

My whole personality changed. I began by gothic clothing and! I was crying every night for no apparent reason. Even more, I started having heated arguments with my mother, worse than usual. I began to get defiant, cussing, getting interested in alcohol, and thinking getting in trouble was fun. Two months into taking the medication, (going from 10mg to 15 mg) I was in a counselor’s office when I had a panic attack. I really felt like a demon was possessing me. I was crying wildly, saying that I would find a way to kill myself even if my family took all the dangerous objects away. I was that desperate to die. I even began talking to a seventeen year old boy, sending him suggestive pictures of myself over the internet and meeting with him behind my parents’ back.

In the counselor’s office, she suggested my mother take me to the hospital to be put in a crisis unit. When I got there, I was completely numb to all emotion. The psychiatrist there was a complete crackpot. He had no idea what he was doing and diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder just because my grandmother was Bipolar. To make things worse, HE ASKED FOR A LIST OF WHAT MY GRANDMOTHER TOOK.

He gave me the exact same medication, same dose. What an idiot! So I was on 800mg of Depakote and some number of Ambien. Ambien totally knocked me out. I turned into a loaf and slept all day. The Depakote made me have extremely bad cramps and feelings of paranoia. When I got out of the crisis unit four days later, my psychiatrist took me off Depakote and put me back on Lexapro.

I went home thinking everything was going to be okay. Hah! A few days later, while blasting a gothic rock CD, I had my first self-mutilating experience. It wasn’t much, but I cut myself with a blunt kitchen knife. I did enough damage to bleed a little, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. From then on, it became a habit. Now, my step dad collects daggers and swords and hangs them on the wall. I always looked, but I never touched. Around that time, 8th grade started up and I was nervous as hell. For around three days, I had no friends and no one wanted to talk to me because I was so out of it. I finally made some friends with Gothic’s like me, and I felt a little better.

But most nights, I went home crying and sitting in my closet. I would sit there in my walk in closet, with lights out and cry. And sometimes when my parents weren’t home, I’d take a pencil eraser and erase the skin on my thighs until it bled. I had about 15 incidents in which I erased my skin. I completely shut myself out from my parents and ignored them. I was rude and mean to my stepsisters. Then the time came that I built up the nerve to actually do some damage. I took a sharp dagger off the wall, blasted Evanescence as loud as it could go, and sliced my thighs 11 times, and watched myself bleed. I allowed myself to lay there and bleed, and it brought me great pleasure to know that I was dying inside. I started to laugh manically, so enthralled with my loss of blood. I wanted to cry until I laughed so hard it kill! ed me. I wanted to scream and release everything inside of me. I wanted to binge and throw up my guts. All these violent images flooded my head. When I held a knife, I could see in my mind me killing my family and then killing myself.

That brought me intense fear because I loved my family very much. In church, I would cuss God out in my head and see disturbing images of people being dismembered. My moods were swinging so badly, that my doctor put me on the antipsychotic, Risperdal. In just three months, it went from 0.5mg to 1.5 mg. (3.0 mg is a fairly high dosage) In February of 2004, I attempted suicide. I was at the ultimate rock bottom. I hated myself, I was lost in these violent thoughts, and I wanted to burn in Hell. I had no other pills, so I overdosed on pamprin.

Yes, it sounds stupid, but I was desperate. My mother found out and called the ambulance. They were not compassionate at all, and the nurse gladly shoved a tube up my nose. My stomach was pumped for six hours through a tube in my nose, and I threw up charcoal four times, not to mention it came out the other end twice. (Both times I asked for a bed pan and they took their sweet time and made me stain the sheets)

I was then Baker Acted and sent back to the crisis unit of the hospital. Four days later, I was out. Then my mother told me she was sending me to a residential. I stayed at the residential for 6 weeks, begging to come home each night. They discharged me, hoping I was better. I threw out my gothic CD’s, clothes, and stuff like that. Right now, I’m trying to repair my relationships with family and friends. But still, I feel like I have to chase down each temporary high. I truly feel that these medications did not help me whatsoever, if not made me worse. I will be hopefully taken off medications tomorrow, and I will have to go through the withdrawal process.

I strongly advise using natural remedies for depression. I feel that these antidepressants and antipsychotics do nothing for you at all, they just turn into another addictive drug like heroine or LSD. If you’re having the same problem I am, hang in there. I know we can make it through.

Holly Easter
rikuina@yahoo.com

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My Wife’s Suicide on Lexapro

“She was the most gentle, kind and compassionate woman I have ever met.”

My wife, Bonnie, to whom I was married for 32 loving years, completed suicide on Monday, January 26, 2004. She was severely depressed, on Thursday, January 22, she could not go to work. I stayed home with her and immediately took her to her physician. Her physician placed her on medical leave for a month, and referred her to a psychiatrist who saw her that afternoon. He did a lethality assessment and concluded that Bonnie was not a suicide risk, but was in fact severely depressed. Bonnie was already on Lexapro from her own physician. He elevated her dosage that day, and added Wellbutrin, both of which are on the FDA warning list. He told me what he did, but gave me no warnings of risk of suicide, and in fact told me that the drugs would help her feel better in time.

She began to experience greater anxiety and agitation over the weekend. She began making statements that simply were not rational, such as she was failing all her colleagues, and the children and families she worked with because she was going on medical leave for a month. She was a school social worker who worked with disabled children and their families, and she was quite good at what she did. When I told her that people became ill all the time, and schools and other organizations had the capability of filling in behind an employee that became sick, and it was her job to get well, she would not hear it. I tried to tell her over the weekend she was failing no one, but she just did not seem to comprehend or accept what I was saying.

The psychiatrist told me I could go back to work on Monday. I planned to take her back to see him on Tuesday morning, when she had the follow-up visit scheduled, and she knew I was going to. On Monday, I asked her if she wanted me to stay home with her, and I could go back to work on Wednesday, but she told me she would be all right. We talked on the phone about 10:00 and she said she was fine. I decided to go home at lunch time to check on her and have lunch with her. I arrived at 12:30. Some time between 10:00 and 12:30, she cut herself so violently and viciously that she lost every drop of blood in her body. This was the most gentle, kind and compassionate woman I have ever met. She never spanked our children; she just did not believe in violence. The other FDA symptom besides anxiety and agitation that I have read about is hostility. The violence on herself was incredibly hostile. It is my understanding that most female suicides are by overdose. She had plenty of pills including sleeping pills that she could have overdosed on, but she chose to attack herself. That was so wildly out of character, that I cannot understand it.

She was clearly depressed, and their is a family history of emotional disorder. However, the FDA warnings on antidepressants were an exact description of what happened to Bonnie. I can’t prove and I am not necessarily claiming cause and effect. However, I am posting this with you because I am really beginning to believe that the radical change in antidepressants affected her biochemistry, and contributed to her suicide.

If their is any way, Bonnie’s story can save even one life then I want to help do that.

Thank you for letting me share.

Fred Meservey (Bonnie’s devoted and loving husband)bonfred@nycap.rr.com

366 total views, 1 views today

A Mother’s Experience w/Antidepressants

“To the FDA Advisory Panel on Antidepressant Safety in Children.”

My name is Sylvia Olsen and I am the mother of eight children from Salt Lake City, Utah. I suffered for many years with clinical depression and in 1988 my psychiatrist put me on an SSRI medication. I was told that, because it was clinical depression, I would need to take it for the rest of my life. Subsequently, when I got pregnant with my eighth child in 1991, I asked if I could keep taking the medication. My doctor said there was no evidence of negative side effects, and since I was already on it, I just kept taking it. Looking back, I believe the medication produced an overriding feeling of “everything is fine” which clouded my judgment. Normally, I would think twice before even taking an aspirin when I was pregnant. After all, we are talking about the development of a human being.

My son, Taylor, was born weighing much less than any of my previous seven children and displaying an irritability I had never experienced. I soon noticed his body was tense all the time and his movements stiff. The slightest sound would startle him to the point of screaming and, often, even as he slept, his arms would be held stiff and straight up from his body. Although I’ve had no experience personally taking care of “crack babies”, as they used to call them, I kept thinking how he reminded me of things I had heard about them. He would cry continually and seemed to find great comfort in being wrapped very snugly in a blanket and held very tightly.

As Taylor grew, we also had to deal with episodes of unreasonable displays of anger. When he got upset about something as simple as his shoe tied wrong, it was as though he had no ability to reason. He would scream, kick, and flail completely out of control. We would have to put our arms around him to restrain him from hurting himself or trashing his room and sit there for as long as half an hour before he would start to gain control of himself and stop screaming and gnashing. Then, everything would be fine as if nothing had happened. Other than this, and some allergies and skin problems, things appeared normal until he started school.

Although, he seemed to be bright and aware at home, in school he struggled with reading, writing, spelling and math, unlike his older brothers and sisters. Even though his tantrums are almost non existent now,(we believe through the help of nutritional supplements) and his academics have improved a lot, he has always required remedial help. One thing that always comes up when talking to school aids who have worked with Taylor, particularly, one-on-one, is that they are puzzled by one thing in his learning process. He will appear to understand something perfectly, a math process for instance, and even be doing it on his own for a while, when suddenly, in the middle of the same work, it’s as though a light bulb goes off and he has no knowledge of even being taught the process. Then, later, he knows how to do the problem again as if he never lost it! They say it appears to be some odd kind of glitch in his brain, and I believe it is just another symptom of the developmental problems due to the SSRIs I was taking when pregnant with Taylor.

I believe there are safe and affective ways of dealing with clinical depression in children other than the use of SSRIs and that the benefits do not outweigh the risks and unknown side effects.

Antidepressants do not actually heal the human mind. If they did, then we would see a decline in depression across our nation, but we do not. Please look at the possibility that there is another way to treat this growing problem that, I believe, SSRIs only mask. Even John March, chief of child psychiatry at Duke University, who receives grants from Lilly and research funds from Pfizer, said, “These medicines are not a panacea, and will not, on average, carry kids to remission.”

After eight years on these medications, I once spent a several months trying to cut back by just a few milligrams and suffered terrible bouts of depression from the withdrawal. Yet, later, through the help of a nutritionist, I was able to wean off of them completely in just a three month period. That was seven years ago and I have not suffered from depression since.

Sylvia Olsen
St. George, UT

527 total views, 2 views today

Celexa sucks!!!

“Do not and I mean do not give in to the medication!”

DO NOT TAKE CELEXA!!!! ITS POISON!!!!

My story with Celexa started on 2001. I was diagnosed with “panic disorder and depression” I was 16 then and I had been suffering from panic attacks since I was 13, so at the time Celexa was the only thing I turned to in order to help. I lost about 10 pounds and everyone thought I was anorexic, but Celexa made me not want to eat at all which sucked. I could go days without eating, with just water on it. Celexa did stop my panic attacks, and I started becoming more friendly with people and more social. I think while I was on the drug I experienced 2-3 panic attacks (which was probably due to stress from college) I decided to stop the medication because I realized it was not me. I was never doing the things that I was doing, and deep down inside I knew that it was not me doing these things but the drug. The drug made me very happy, worry-free, and stress-free, but that’s not reality. I was on top of the world, but was I? Certainly! not, it was Celexa! The drug made me feel so euphoric, I would feel happy all the time, but that’s not how life is!!! You have bad times and good times, you can’t always be happy. I talked to my father about it, and he suggested that I stopped taking the medication because its not me, and I don’t want to be taking it all my life. There were just too many side effects. I was constantly hyper, I had no worries, I was getting high, and meeting the wrong people. My father suggested we find a reasonable psychiatrist who does not use medication. We both knew it would be 2 times harder to deal with the problem, without Celexa, but then it will be gone forever and I don’t have to worry about medication for the rest of my life.

I quit Celexa and I decided to take my life into my hands. My doctor of course did not like this, she said that medication is the key and all this bullshit about how since I am an active user to the medication I will need it for the rest of my life. I talked to her about counseling, 1 on 1 with someone and if that would work, she said “no, medication is the best thing”. I asked her why I am feeling this way, I remember as a young child I was anxious all the time, I asked if maybe it was caused by me being sexually abused and she said “no, that sexual abuse has nothing to do with it”. That was the most shocking thing anyone ever said to me, I know now she is an idiot. I have never sat down and explored the trauma that went on while I was abused, so I will have to do so and maybe that is what’s causing all this anxiety.

When I mentioned the sexual abuse, she threw Celexa at me, I should have known better, but I was only 16 at the time. She didn’t even try to hear me out, she said “oh wow I’m sorry or something” and never bothered to ask what went on or why, so I’m wondering if that’s what causes me to feel so shitty all the time.

Anyway, so I finally decided to quit Celexa and 2-3 days after I called her and I said “I feel terrible, depressed, couldn’t walk, dizzy, couldn’t eat” and all she told me was that “she needs to see me to subscribe me more medication, maybe Celexa isn’t doing it for me”. Here I am trying to quit this medication with my families support and she wants to throw more at me. I finally went to see her and guess what, yep she wanted to offer me more medication, this time she said Paxil and Prozac are better for anxiety! It makes me sick to my stomach that she is not willing to listen to anyone, and just wants to give them medication like they are some kind of plant. I refused the medication and walked out with my father. I did not make an appointment.

While I was on the internet I met other SSRI users on a website and they guided me through all this. All this time I had been lied to and it does not feel good, but luckily good people still exist. At first when I stopped the medication, I thought I had a brain tumor, or brain damage, the headaches were so intense that I couldn’t even stand up. I had to lie to my friends about my condition, because I felt ashamed to tell them anything. I would cry, my heart was racing so fast(I had the worst tachycardia, which is still there, but not as intense as before), any type of noise would get to me, one minute I was crying and the next I was laughing or yelling at my family for no reason. What’s worse is that I could not eat at all, my father was getting scared, he would get me the Flintstones vitamins (I liked those as a child) so I ate those. But the vitamins were not enough, so I went to the ER 2 times and they found nothing wrong with me. I had to get food injected in me. I went to my primary doctor and she said I was fine also. I didn’t leave my house for 4 weeks except for the visit to the ER.

I called up my psychiatrist and asked her about withdrawal symptoms of Celexa, and she said “You shouldn’t be doing this to yourself, come and see me” . Me and my father were a little scared so went, I thought maybe I had messed up myself worse, and I had no one else to turn to, so we went.

Like I expected she said the medication does not do damage it remains in the body for 2 days, 2 days? yeah, right lady!! She said there are no withdrawal symptoms, and she suggested I try another medication, I said no and me and my father left again.

After that I did research on the internet and found out that there are withdrawal symptoms but no psychiatrist will tell you about it. What a sad world it is!!! I started talking to others and getting advice from people on how to cope with this. I was so anxious and I didn’t know what was happening inside my body. Right now I have been off the medication for 8 weeks exactly, and I feel better than before. I still get minor headaches, and dizziness, and I feel a little anxious but other than that I am just glad to be alive. The tachycardia is also there. I just pray to God that this drug did not leave any damage behind.

8 weeks ago I thought I was dying from a brain tumor. Now, I know to stay the hell away from anti-depressants, I don’t think I want to touch those medications again, they are scary. I feel so used! These people made money of my fake happiness.
I have been thinking about how the medication tricked my mind into thinking that I am “happy” but why am I happy? I’m not happy because I really want to be happy, I am happy because Celexa made me happy. I now realize that I will have to work harder to overcome my depression and anxiety than just rely on a stupid pill. Pills are not for everyone, I do not want to struggle all my life on medication. I want to have a family someday, and be able to live a normal life without scaring my husband, or my kids away every so often, when Celexa, or Paxil does not seem to do the trick. I do not think there is anything wrong with me, and I honestly have no reason to be depressed now, maybe I did back then because I was a teenager but now my life is better, I think this all has to do with the sexual abuse I’ve been through even though my psychiatrist seems to think it does not.

My advice to those who are depressed is to eat good, exercise, and keep a positive mind. A drug will only make you worse and you will regret the day you ever took the medication, I know I do. We are being used, and thrown medication to make others rich, it is a sad world. The drug companies should be ashamed of doing this , but are they? No, and I doubt they ever will be. I am not one to try and get back at others, or punish them, but I know that they will get what they deserve from God.

I hope I changed anyone’s mind who tries to take this type of medication. If you want to be a happier person you will have to work hard for it, because no medication in the world will help you achieve what you want, unless you, and only YOU really want it. If anyone wants advice with any of this feel free to e-mail me, we are all victims!! The medications will only bring you down. Exercise, eat healthy, and keep a positive mind !!!

Symptoms you might experience if you quit Celexa..(Remember each person is different, this is what I felt)

Headaches(extreme), dizziness, tachycardia, loss of appetite, no energy, crying spells, constantly pissed off at the world, getting angry easily, weird dreams, insomnia, weird feelings throughout your body, feelings that you are not alive, or lost in some kind of dream, anxiety, hot flashes, bothered by noises(the TV, the radio)

Things you should watch out for. (Things that bothered me)

Sugar, caffeine, stress, driving, long days, don’t worry about jobs, school, etc (You will have all the time in the world to work and go to school)

Things that you should do. (They helped me)

Remove all negative thoughts from your mind, and replace them with positive, think of good times(your first kiss, date, dance, etc), exercise(Yoga, Meditation, Swimming, Running, walking, remember to start slow), eat home cooked meals, (fish, Vitamin B) drink plenty of water(wash out the system faster) Surround yourself with people that you love, that will make you smile, and laugh.(not those who will cause pain or stress) Also take vitamins daily. It does not matter what you do, or for what reason you do it, as long as it helps you get better, don’t pay attention to how people react to you, each person is handles things differently..

And most importantly…

Do not and I mean do not give in to the medication ! Think about it, we are the victims here, we are being used to make others rich (the drug companies) Do you think they care about us? No, if they did they would have taken their time to help us by therapy and not thrown medication at us. Do you know how much money they get from those pills? Why do you think they go on vacations every so often, drive nice cars, and have all this money? FROM US!!! We are the suckers. Do not get mad and do not give in to them. Fight for yourself, fight to stay alive, and make them pay for what they did to us! Do you know that the human brain is smarter than any damn pill out there, it took a human being to invent that medication, so it will take a human brain (yours and mine) to invent our own medication!! If they did it, so can we!!!! Just think what you could do with all the money, you will have to waste on medication, and remember that it will go to some sucker who does not care about me or you, only his or her pocket.

Lastly, I just want to say that this experienced made me realize that life is too short, we bitch, and complain about the little things, but in reality, there is too much out there… I think Socrates said it best, “The unexamined life is not worth living,” So forget the pills, and get out there, there’s something waiting for YOU and ME!!!

iamnumbaa1@hotmail.com

610 total views, 1 views today

Pregnant on SSRIs

“My son, Taylor, was born weighing much less than any of my previous seven children and displaying an irritability I had never experienced.”

To the FDA Advisory Panel on Antidepressant Safety in Children,

My name is Sylvia Olsen and I am the mother of eight children from Salt Lake City, Utah. I suffered for many years with clinical depression and in 1988 my psychiatrist put me on an SSRI medication. I was told that, because it was clinical depression, I would need to take it for the rest of my life. Subsequently, when I got pregnant with my eighth child in 1991, I asked if I could keep taking the medication. My doctor said there was no evidence of negative side effects, and since I was already on it, I just kept taking it. Looking back, I believe the medication produced an overriding feeling of “everything is fine” which clouded my judgment. Normally, I would think twice before even taking an aspirin when I was pregnant. After all, we are talking about the development of a human being.

My son, Taylor, was born weighing much less than any of my previous seven children and displaying an irritability I had never experienced. I soon noticed his body was tense all the time and his movements stiff. The slightest sound would startle him to the point of screaming and, often, even as he slept, his arms would be held stiff and straight up from his body. Although I’ve had no experience personally taking care of “crack babies”, as they used to call them, I kept thinking how he reminded me of things I had heard about them. He would cry continually and seemed to find great comfort in being wrapped very snugly in a blanket and held very tightly.

As Taylor grew, we also had to deal with episodes of unreasonable displays of anger. When he got upset about something as simple as his shoe tied wrong, it was as though he had no ability to reason. He would scream, kick, and flail completely out of control. We would have to put our arms around him to restrain him from hurting himself or trashing his room and sit there for as long as half an hour before he would start to gain control of himself and stop screaming and gnashing. Then, everything would be fine as if nothing had happened. Other than this, and some allergies and skin problems, things appeared normal until he started school.

Although, he seemed to be bright and aware at home, in school he struggled with reading, writing, spelling and math, unlike his older brothers and sisters. Even though his tantrums are almost non existent now,(we believe through the help of nutritional supplements) and his academics have improved a lot, he has always required remedial help. One thing that always comes up when talking to school aids who have worked with Taylor, particularly, one-on-one, is that they are puzzled by one thing in his learning process. He will appear to understand something perfectly, a math process for instance, and even be doing it on his own for a while, when suddenly, in the middle of the same work, it’s as though a light bulb goes off and he has no knowledge of even being taught the process. Then, later, he knows how to do the problem again as if he never lost it! They say it appears to be some odd kind of glitch in his brain, and I believe it is just another symptom of the developmental problems due to the SSRIs I was taking when pregnant with Taylor.

I believe there are safe and affective ways of dealing with clinical depression in children other than the use of SSRIs and that the benefits do not outweigh the risks and unknown side effects.

Antidepressants do not actually heal the human mind. If they did, then we would see a decline in depression across our nation, but we do not. Please look at the possibility that there is another way to treat this growing problem that, I believe, SSRIs only mask. Even John March, chief of child psychiatry at Duke University, who receives grants from Lilly and research funds from Pfizer, said, “These medicines are not a panacea, and will not, on average, carry kids to remission.”

After eight years on these medications, I once spent a several months trying to cut back by just a few milligrams and suffered terrible bouts of depression from the withdrawal. Yet, later, through the help of a nutritionist, I was able to wean off of them completely in just a three month period. That was seven years ago and I have not suffered from depression since.

Sincerely,

Sylvia Olsen
574 Latonia Circle
St. George, UT 84790
(435)688-7915

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