My Life with Paxil and Klonopin

“The nightmare goes on with in me.”

I started Paxil when I was in the middle of a bad divorce. I had a great Doctor and she saw me falling apart. I told her what was going on and My life was not mine any more. I started taking Paxil before Paxil CR came about. I was up to 25mg when started. I was never told about the side effects.

Anyway I started to feel better at 1st but then I had to get off because my Health Insurance changed. I was only on it for 3 months the 1st time. Anyway things got really bad to where I wouldn’t not go out ,and was unable to think right.

My job was on the line. All I wanted to do was die. Then in July 2003 I just couldn’t take much more. Unsure of myself and the things I was thinking about scared me to no end.

I would work over nights so I didn’t have to be alone. I prayed that would keep me from hurting myself. But then it happen July 18 2003 I was told to go home and sleep take your day off and enjoy the sunshine. I told one of the ladies at work I don’t feel right about going home. She said hey you are just over tired. I started to cry and gave her my phone number in chase something happen. She said you will be just fine go and enjoy your day. I wanted to tell her I wanted to die, but just couldn’t bring myself to say it.

I went home looked around and said this is it. I have lost everything I have worked for and I am alone now. Well it was time to end my pain. My son was out of town. I have raised him well. He is out on his own now. Which was hard for me to deal with. But hell, almost 21 yrs old. I need to let him go now. So I made some calls and started to do what my mind was thinking.

And really believe it would be better this way. Well all the Paxil I had left in my apartment and what ever else I could find and two big bottles of wine, I was on my way to peace.

My best Friend talked to me for a few mins, before I blacked out. She didn’t know where I lived, But some how found me. By the time they go here I was on my way!

The next thing I could remember was waking up in the ER. Not knowing why I was there. Well I got locked up and the next day saw my new Doc.

Still feeling very unsure of things and not wanted to take the meds they want to put me on. I had to do as I was told. So here comes Paxil CR and Klonopin. I stayed in the hosp. for 4 days and went to group and saw my Doc again, but something was not right. I still had the thinking of not wanting to live.

He told me that it will take about 14 days for the Paxil CR to start working and I will start to feel better soon. And would see me in a week at his office.

Well I saw him again in a week and I told him I didn’t have the money to pay for Paxil CR. He said he would help me. Ok I trusted him so I got all the free samples I need to have. But after a month everything was the same, so he upped my dose.

And said I will see you in 6 weeks. Went back to see him feeling the same. Things were not getting any better. He upped my dose now taking 25mg plus 12.5 mgs! That gave me a dose of 37.5 well see u in 8 weeks now.

Things got really bad at work and I was not sure what would happen next. Called him on the phone and told him I was in a living hell. He told me to come see him. Well I did and the dose went up to 25 mg 2 times a day and the Klonopin 4 times a day or more as need.

I left his office with a bag full of Paxil CR and called my sister and told this is not right. Something is wrong here. If it is not working then why up the dose.

So I stopped taking the Paxil CR and My body started to break down. Get upset over every little thing. Could not sleep anymore and can not keep my mind on one thing.

I called my mom thinking I was crazy and she looked in to Paxil CR, and told me I shouldn’t have stopped taking it. I need to go back on and go off it slowly.

Well I did just that, but now new things are popping up. I can’t sleep at nite and all my joints in my body hurt. I still can’t keep my head right. And I have been off the Paxil CR and the Klonopin for a few weeks.

I need to know when I will start to feel better. But you know what I find very sad—Is that if my doc knew all this and did not tell me. How can he live with himself. I know my life will get better in time. But I need to know what else will happen to me. I think free samples are great, but I also think we need to know more about the meds we take,. And what are the long term side effect? Had I known what I do now. I would never had taken the Paxil CR.

Thank You for hearing me out. Have a great day. Peace out

maureen Phillips
butternut108@yahoo.com

 

 1,406 total views

Is Paxil my Friend?

“I was violent, delusional and hostile.”

 

I was on Paxil for over a year, and then quit when I got married. Almost 2 months ago I started taking Paxil again. I have also been taking Flexural and Tylenol #3 for back and neck pain. The reason I am writing is because I had a horrible experience the other day and I am trying to find out if it may be linked to the Paxil.

The other night, I went out with a friend to celebrate the end of the school term and to “tie one on”. I didn’’t take any of my medication that night because I knew that I would be drinking. After a triple espresso I had a couple drinks, I am told that I was slamming them down. I had a good night; I danced, talked, listened to good music, until we left. I do not remember being in the car, talking to my husband on the phone or going to Denny’s. I started having horrible delusions, thinking that my best friend was cheating on her husband, yelling and going off on the phone at my husband and like. My friend told me that I seemed confused, but ok. She had no idea that I wasn’’t aware of any thing. Later, my husband picked me up from Denny’s where I became violent. I hit him, I tried to pull the steering wheel when we were on the free way, and I turned the key off and through it out the window while we were driving, then ran and hopped a ride from a truck driver. Need less to say, I made it home safe, and nearly divorced. My husband met up with me (he followed the truck I was in) and tried to take me home, again I was violent, delusional and hostile, I got out with our dog and ran down the street where I soon passed out and my dog wandered around. My husband found me and took me home.

This is a horrible experience for both of us, and after researching and talking to people, I have learned that others have had similar experiences. When I am not on medication, these sorts of things do not happen. My husband (when I am not drinking) has been telling me I am paranoid and delusional. I get really offended because I am trying to take care of my anxiety disorder. I have also been having a lot of depression. I take 20 mg of Paxil every day. Also, when I quit taking Paxil the last time, I went off of it in about 1 1/2 weeks. I have horrible side effects when I first start taking it, which include severe headaches, confusion, a surreal feeling like I am not really there, anxiety and joint/muscle pain. Could you please help me understand what happened the other night. Over about 5 hours I had about 5-7 drinks. I do not drink often, but needless to say, I will not be doing it again, especially not on my medication.

 

3/23/2002

This is Survivor Story number 35.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 1,480 total views

I survived Zoloft, but I lost a good friend.

“I will do anything I can do to get these drugs off of the market.”

 

Hi, my name is Laura. In January of 1996 I went totally manic on Zoloft after taking it for three weeks, (25 mg.). I thought I was supposed to feel this good after being depressed, I thought this was the way I was supposed to feel, gooooood, toooo good for awhile. The more days that went by the more manic I became due to the fact that I could not sleep! It caused insomnia so bad, who wouldn’t go manic. Well, I went to see a lawyer about suing as I had lost a lot of money and felt that the company should have compensated me some how. The lawyer advised me that ” . . . it wasn’t a class action suit, so forget about it . . .” and I did, believe me. July 15th 1998 not even 3 weeks from this post, it all came back to me.

My best friend’s husband Daryl, who was a very nice guy and the best father I ever met, found out something that upset him very much and he went to the Doctor, the same Doctor that I went to, and that Doctor gave him 25 mg. of ZOLOFT. It wasn’t a week and Daryl started getting weird. By the 2nd week he was beating his wife. I don’t know how my friend ever survived those 3 1/2 weeks but she did.

3 1/2 weeks after Daryl started taking the 25 mg of Zoloft, he beat his wife bad and almost got the 3 kids, but they got away from him and fled for their lives. To make a sad story short, Daryl was found 3 days later in his truck in his own garage in 103-degree heat. He had been there dead for 3 days!

I cannot tell you how upset I am, and how I remember the mania from my own experience and can relate to what Daryl must have been going through. I just can’t believe it is true, it is so unreal, so unlike him. I just found the bottle a few days ago and took it to the Dr. and determined that he had been taking them right up to the night that he died. I remember how Zoloft amplified EVERYTHING. And the paranoia and the grinding of teeth. The insomnia was the very worst as it brought on the agitation.

I am posting this not for only myself but for Daryl too. I miss him deeply, we were all good friends, I cry a lot, and I go over to that garage and just cry because I know, I know what he went through. And if only someone would have told me he was on Zoloft I could have saved his life!

Not even his wife knew!

Please pray for her, she has 3 children and she is now with her parent’s way across town, so I feel as I have lost the entire family.

I will do anything I can do to get these drugs off of the market. It is like a cocaine; amphetamine, LSD high and you can’t get off. I just thank God everyday that I am alive and that my family is alive.

Laura

P.S. NOTE: I just want to state that I am back with the same Doctor who prescribed Zoloft because I do not think he is aware of the dangers, and how the statistics of going manic are a lot higher than he is aware of. I do not blame him in anyway, as I do not believe he knows how many people have gone manic on this drug. Also I believe in him as he in return believes in me. I believe now that he knows that the only thing that can make me go manic, is drugs. It can be cold medication, pain pills, steroids, decongestants, and even herb diet pills. I also know that he truly cares about his patients and also is a very qualified Doctor and that if I ever got sick, he is the only Doctor that I would want to be my MD General Practitioner. I highly recommend him to my friends and whoever asks me for a new Doctor, and I send people to him all the time.

Laura_Angel@msn.com

 

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 56.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

 1,724 total views