Thursday, 18 December 2008
“Get Off the Pharm”
Written & Performed by Phil Garrison of Five Branches University
Two versions of a rap I did back in 2008 for my Pharmacology class at Five Branches University.
Lyrics (c) 2008 Philip G. Garrison
Produced by Philip G. Garrison
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lyrics: (c) 2008 Philip G. Garrison
my other musical projects
I went to the Doc to see what’s wrong with me,
He turned out to be a pill-pusher MD,
As he reached for his pen with the drug name on it,
I said, “Stop right there, mon frer, I don’t want it!”
He said, “You must be crazy,” as I broke for the door,
Crashed into somebody, and landed on the floor,
With a slutty type of woman lookin’ down at me,
She had the names of different drugs displayed on her bikini.
She said, “Hey Doc, I was hopin’ you were free,
‘Cause I’m the new Rep’ from the drug company.”
I thought, “Damn…this has gone too far,”
As I raced out the door and hoped into my car.
Turned on the radio, tryin’ to catch the news,
But…all that did was just give me the blues.
With a story of a mom who killed her whole fami-ly,
(While) she was on the same drug the Doc had tried to give me.
An S-S-R-I that made her crazy in the head,
Like Eric Harris was takin’ when he shot those kids dead.
So before you take a drug that might mess up your dome,
Think about Columbine and Google serotonin syndrome,
The human brain is more than just a chemistry lab,
‘n’ drugs can cause hallucinations like an LSD tab.
But drugs are big business in the U-S-A,
So they try to push ’em on you even if you’re okay.
Before we get into hardcore pharmacology,
Let me break down some terminology…
An agonist is a drug with a response that may be
An increase or decrease in cellular activity,
(But) this all depends on the receptors it binds to,
Receptors all do different things: let me remind you.
Antagonists still bind, but their job is opposite,
Nothing can bind to the receptor where they sit
Efficacy is the degree of maximal effect,
Like…how hard a person tries to earn your respect.
Potency is similar but with a slightly different bent,
The amount of drug needed to produce a response of fifty-percent.
I went…to the pharmacology class,
Chillin’ out at school with my man Chris Ras.
The subject is vast–and requires concentration…
Like the Henderson-Hasselbalch equation,
Like Beta-2 receptors cause broncho-dilation,
If you give epinephrine to a member of the population.
And Beta-1 causes heart rate to get tachy,
‘Cause your body responds like you’re under attack, see?
And while we’re on the subject, one last thing I’d like to mention,
Beta blockers are the drugs often used for hypertension.
And if you’re unclear about how they work,
It’s like being stuck in line, while some big fat jerk,
Ties up the on-ly available cashier,
You don’t get the simile, let me make it more clear:
The cashier is the receptor and the jerk is the drug,
And my rhyme’s so tight, you might say it’s snug.
I rock from A-to-Z: from Advair to Zocor,
Even though I pass on Flomax, I still flow more,
Than a river, non-toxic to your liver,
My delivery’s so cold it makes a polar bear shiver.
Don’t ingest Celebrex–I wrecks ill text,
You must hit the Prednisone, ’cause you look all vexed,
Whack cats sleep on this, like they’re dosed on Ambien,
Real heads peep on this, ’cause they know I came to win.
(If) MCs step I leave ’em dead like IV’s of Levophed
My rhyme’s like Oxycontin, many fools addict-ed.
I come harder than a senior on a dose of Viagra,
Take on drug companies, watch ’em fall like Niagra.
Just hit you with the facts, illest rapper on wax,
Val-i-um and Xa-nex try to help you relax,
But…trouble comes when it’s time for cessation,
Symptoms like anxiety, insomnia, and agitation.
You know how they roll, they say, “Take your medication,”
In every doctors office, in this medicated nation,
You’re probably better off just to take a vacation,
Or find another way to reach a state of elation.
Vaccination is a controversial topic we’ve discussed,
Many Doctors these days make you think they’re a must,
But your child’s life depends on in whom you place your trust,
That’s why I educate with the rhymes I bust.
Many people in our country have some type of chronic pain,
While it is their loss, it’s the drug companies gain,
They got: codeine, and morphine, and Vicodin too,
And depending on the pain, one of these drugs they’ll sell you.
Or…they might try an NSAID instead,
‘Till you pass black stools, ’cause you upper GI bled,
They inhibit prostaglandins, thus reducing inflammation,
But injure the GI and decrease platellete aggregation.
Cortio-steroids also work for many types inflammation,
Decrease of immunity is an important consideration,
A course of just 10 days, will suppress it for a year,
So if you have an infection, yell it in the doctor’s ear.
If you’re scheduled for surgery, you better tell them too,
‘Cause if you catch an infection, man, you might be through,
Inhibition of phagocytosis by neutrophils is serious
Cushing’s syndrome and psychosis: side-effects you might experience.
Heart disease is a cause of many deaths per year,
So drug companies try to use this fear,
If cholesterol is high, they want to put you on Statins,
But the ones who benefit are the ones who own the patents.
People need more education and nutrition advice,
Improper intake of food is a national vice,
So before you’re on a drug that makes you pay the price,
Change your life-style and diet, no need to think twice.
Digitoxin is a heart-drug from the foxglove plant,
For Congestive Heart Failure when you start pant,
Lasix helps water retention: another a goal of therapy,
As is improvement of cardiac contractility.
They work by inhibition of the Na-K pump,
But they still have side-effects so you still might crump,
‘Cause they mess with the way that your heart goes thump,
Better save yourself now and take that junk-food to the dump.
By now I hope you’ve learned just a little bit more,
About the nature of the game, I came to settle the score,
Anti-biotics that you’re on, create microbial war
You could become a casualty, without knowing what for.
Do your research, wake up, and make a choice for your health,
‘Cause the person you save — just might be yourself,
Don’t spend another dollar of your hard earned wealth,
For another empty vial on the medicine shelf.
You might think I’m a cynic for the rhymes I drop,
I’m just givin’ you the facts, and I just don’t stop,
Now you know who’s the master of medical hip-hop,
Rock mics skill-fully, when I flip I never flop.
You must be a sheep, if you’re still on the pharm,
I tried to liberate your mind, and reveal potential harm,
I guess maybe you’re just in a pharmaceutical haze,
Like the latest drug craze, I leave you all in a daze.
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