The antidepressants Zoloft and Wellbutrin killed my son, Tommy
Elaine Billings
September 8, 2011 a Thursday
I looked out my dining room window, and I watched my son mowing his lawn. I smiled to myself, and thought I am going to call Tommy later, and invite him and his family to dinner tomorrow, Friday. I couldn’t have foreseen, that it would be the last time I would see my son alive!
My husband had gone downtown to run some errands. When he came home he said, ”there’s a lot going on downtown today.” I replied, ”really what’s going on.” He said, ”while I was in the drug store, I overheard someone saying that a man committed suicide in our town.” I said, ”oh no, I hope it isn’t anyone we know!” A few minutes later, my life ceased, and I plummeted into HELL!
My daughter in-law walked into my house, she was crying. I thought something had happened to her mother because they were out together and her mom had been sick.
I went to her and said, ”has something happened to your mom?”
She shook her head no. I look into her eyes and said, ”Tommy?”
In the few seconds before she told me what happened, I thought, oh Tommy’s been in a car accident, but he will be okay. I will take care of him! That’s what moms do, when their children are sick, (or) get in a car accident. We get them better!
That’s not what she told me. Instead she said something no mother ever wants to hear in her life, this I know. She said, ”Tommy committed suicide!”
I screamed, WHAT?! She repeated it, ”Tommy committed suicide!”
I threw my glasses off and fell to the floor. I could hear myself screaming and screaming, and I could not stop. “NO! NO! Please GOD, NO! Oh help me, help me my son! He can’t be DEAD!”
I could hear Bill’s voice as he kept saying over and over, ”I can’t believe it!” ”I can’t believe it!”
I couldn’t get up, I couldn’t stop screaming “NO! not my son!God help me! Give me back my son!”
Why did Tina tell me my son committed suicide? What a horrible thing to tell a mother! I must be dead! That’s it, I am dead and in HELL! But, I kept on screaming, begging, pleading, please this is a mistake! My son would NEVER KILL HIMSELF! NEVER! He was a happy man, a very happy man. Happy people do not commit suicide.
People are in my house, I can hear muffled conversations, a man bent down and was checking me over, I said, ”Please help, please my son! Please help me, I want my son!
” Then I was in an ambulance, this young woman was checking me over, and I said, ”Tina told me my son committed suicide!” Please dear God, help me get my son back, this can’t be happening! TOMMY WOULD NEVER COMMIT SUICIDE! I promise I’ll be good, I will do anything! I will do anything anybody asks me, just please I need my son!”
Then I was in the emergency room, lying in a bed. A doctor walked in and said, ”What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? My son committed SUICIDE! He is DEAD! That’s what’s wrong with me!”
He gave me an injection and a few minutes later I felt calm. I felt like I was having some kind of out of body experience, like a nightmare. That’s it, I am having a nightmare. I need to wake up!
Bill was standing next to me, and I said, ”Dear God, Bill I have had the worst nightmare. Tommy was dead!” But, he looked at me with such sorrow and said, ”Elaine, Tommy is dead.”
I was numb, I wanted to die.
A few nights later, I was in my bedroom sitting on my bed when my son, Tommy, came to me. He said, ”Mom help me! I didn’t mean to do it!”
I looked up at my ceiling and said, ”Tommy, I can’t help you! You are already dead!”
I don’t know why I did this, but the next morning I called my daughter in-law and asked her if Tommy was on any medications, and she said, “Yes, he was on Zoloft and Wellbutrin.”
Then at some point, I got on my computer and started searching these drugs to see if they had anything to do with Tommy’s suicide. What I found out, not only stunned me, but made me literally sick and made me madder than hell! I found the information to prove without doubt that these two drugs caused my son’s DEATH!
The things I read and found out about these drugs, shook me to my core. The untold numbers of deaths! The destruction! The toll to be paid for human life, for all the Lies! Deception! Hidden unfavorable test results! Ghost writing! Money being paid out to university professors who sign their names to favorable, manipulated studies! And no one accountable for what Pharmaceutical studies are done and the results! Member’s of the FDA who have a vested an interest in the drug business! Law suits for wrongful deaths getting settled out of court and gag orders being put in place to insure silence and continued sales! Highly paid drug representatives who tout the “latest and greatest ” (most profitable) antidepressant and antipsychotic drugs. The more these drugs are prescribed, the bigger drug reps’ bonuses are.And the big pharmaceutical companies who are the paying sponsors of TV network ads touting these drugs, along with the print media! Investors of the Pharmaceutical companies and board members who all have a vested interest in making more MONEY! The Black Box Warnings on these drugs about increased risk of suicide! It is all right there to read!
“May cause; SUICIDAL IDEATION, PSYCHOSIS, HALLUCINATIONS, DEPERSONALIZATION, HOSTILITY, IMPULSIVITY,” and more. MONEY to be had, to keep the lies and omissions, kept quiet….the big secrets kept from the consumers! It really is the bottom line, MONEY! Big Pharma, is not trying to make people well, they are trying to make people sick! If some die, well that’s just collateral damage! Yes, my son was nothing more to them than COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!
My son had anxiety – a label given to him by some doctor who probably saw him once or twice. How did he come up with that diagnoses? Well it’s all right there in the DSM, the psychiatric bible! A committee gets together and discusses these symptoms, then they group them and then give them a label for what they call a disorder or a diagnoses. This way insurance companies will pay the bill making patients and Big Pharma very happy!
Funny, but Pharmaceutical companies and scientific evidence suggest that depression and some kinds of anxiety disorders “MAY” caused by a ”CHEMICAL IMBALANCE” in the brain, yet, there is no blood test, x-rays, MRI, Cat Scan that can show this to be true. And a psychiatrist can’t predict what adverse side effects you might experience on the medication because, not one of them knows how their drugs work! Great! They make dangerous drugs that change our natural brain functions and they don’t have a clue how they work!
HOMICIDE and SUICIDE are the ultimate sacrifices these drugs produce! The SIDE EFFECTS???!!!! But, there’s more to these drugs than meets the eye – damage done to people’s physical, mental, and spiritual bodies is far reaching. It can literally take years to heal the body and the brain from the use of these drugs. I now know many wonderful, intelligent, strong, truth tellers who have been damaged from them. These drugs are destructive, and life altering for many, many people all over the world. If side effects are not enough, you then have to go through withdrawals from them! This can be like walking through hell and goes on for years!
So why do people go on them and stay on them? Because they cannot get off or do not know how to safely get off. And because we want to believe our doctors would never put us on a drug that could harm and KILL. When a psychiatrist, doctor, PA, or nurse tells their patients (victims) “you are defective, you have a mental illness/disorder, and you are never going to get better” and “you need to stay on these drugs for the rest of your life”…. They are all LIES!!
I am not a doctor, but my advice would be to heed the BLACK BOX WARNINGS of Suicidal Ideation, Hostility, Impulsivity, Akathsia, Mania, Panic Attacks, Insomnia, Depersonalization, Heart Attacks, Sudden Death and more! The warnings are there as a warning for good reason. Don’t be fooled by the age limit, “25 and younger” should not take them because of increased risk of suicide? My son was 42 years old! These drugs have no way of determining your age before producing reactions!
Tommy, was a husband, father, son, brother, nephew, cousin, and had many, many friends. We all loved Tommy, and he is gone. He committed suicide! Not because he was depressed. He had never been suicidal in his life. He told his wife, he would never do that to her or his children. But, after restarting his dose of Zoloft and Wellbutrin, because no one warned him of the dangers of going on and off these drugs abruptly, instead of driving to his daughter’s friends house, to bring her back to play, my son drove his car to the middle of town, he drove to a big parking lot. There he got his police revolver from the trunk of the car, got back into the driver’s seat, put that gun to his head and pulled the trigger!!! I didn’t get to see my son, to say my goodbyes, or “I love you.” The family’s decision was for me not to remember him the way he looked after a bullet ripped through his head! But, I did read the autopsy report, because I wanted to stand witness to what Pfizer and GSK and their drugs did to my son. It was devastating!!
Me? Maybe you are wondering how I am? … I will never be the wife, mother, woman I was before my son died. A piece of me died that day also. I am only left with pictures and memories.
His sisters lost their big brother.
Tommy’s dad and step dad lost their son.
Tina lost the husband she was suppose to grow old with by becoming a widow in her thirties!
His children are now fatherless. There will be no more playing catch in the back yard. There will be no more helping with school work, or watching all their accomplishments, big as well as small. My son will not be here to see his children graduate from high school, or college. He will not be here to walk his daughter down the isle on her wedding day, or witness his son’s marriage. He will never be able to bounce his grandchildren on his knee, and his grandchildren will only have stories of the grandfather they never had the opportunity to get to know and learn to love.
So much was taken from this family on the day that Zoloft and Wellbutrin murdered my son.
RIP TOMMY…. and always know that mommy loves you bigger than the whole world!
Still 18 months later, from time to time, I beg GOD again to give me back my son!!
When I wrote to Ann Blake Tracy and told her a little bit about what happen to Tommy, this is what she told me, “The impulsiveness of the suicide was clear–long attributed to elevated serotonin. The reason your son went back on these meds was the withdrawal hit it’s height right about that time, and he likely thought he was going crazy. Tragically when you go back on in the middle of the withdrawal it can be much worse.”
Tommy came to me and said, ”Mom help me, I didn’t mean to do it!” To my son I now say, “I know and understand that now my beloved son, and I will do all I can to help stop the insanity of these dangerous drugs!”
WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants we always recommend that you also give reference to the CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which we have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!
The FDA also now warns that any abrupt change in dose of an antidepressant can produce suicide, hostility or psychosis. And these reactions can either come on very rapidly or even be delayed for months depending upon the adverse effects upon sleep patterns when the withdrawal is rapid! You can find the CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here: http://store.drugawareness.org/
Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,
International Coalition for Drug Awareness
www.drugawareness.org & http://ssristories.drugawareness.org
Author: Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”
