Bobby DiFondi & His Favorite Girl
I will tell you a bit of my story. It’s even hard to write about it.
His name is /was Bobby DiFondi and I knew him since I was 12 yrs old. He was 15 when we met. He was my first love. We reconnected 30yrs later when he sought me out on Myspace.
He had a great personality, loved animals, loved my daughter, loved to cook….we loved to cuddle and kiss. We fell in love all over again since high school. I thought he was my soul mate. He lived in AZ and I lived in LA.
The story is so long and I am better on the phone. Yes he owned a gun but had promised that his friend took it from him.
He was treated with Ambien after an elbow surgery, the pain medicine didn’t allow him to sleep so they gave him Ambien. He too would drink with it. I believe he was also on an anti-depressant. [And antidepressants are often prescribed for pain and after surgery plus they cause overwhelming cravings for alcohol.] It’s hard to know when you are far away. We were going back and forth. He would slur his words on the phone. So I thought he had been drinking….he never told me when he began taking Ambien.
He had a job at Frito Lay for 15yrs with a perfect driving record and even won an award for a million miles of safe driving. He owned a home and had 2 dogs, a cat and three turtles. He took care of them wonderfully. He was generous and kind.
But then all those wonderful traits started going out the window. He would break up with me constantly, was always feeling confused, would hold grudges about small things, saying that I didn’t praise him enough, saying I said things that I didn’t say, canceling trips on me, turning on me and then missing me.
I suffered for one year and a half with this bizarre behavior. I thought it was the booze. I didn’t want to be with a drinker, he hid that from me along with the pills and who knows what else. Yet I still loved the other man and wanted him back..he was in my every thought.
I finally realized, after he accused me of ruining other relationships for him which wasn’t true, that he didn’t care and I had to move on. I told him I was moving back to Italy, which I now regret. But then he called and we had a nice conversation and he said he would come to see me so we could talk things out. I was hopeful, he sounded good. He even said he would go to AA and got rid of his pain pill popping friend.
He said he was off all pills but it wasn’t true. He didn’t call me when he said he would. I thought he was playing games again, after 9 days of not hearing from him I was very sad. But then I got the call to let me know he had shot himself, then I just wanted to die..I haven’t stopped crying since. My poor beautiful daughter thought she was going to lose her mom. How could I live through this?
His family now blames me and Hates me. so much more to write. Yes they later found letters from 10 mo prior when I had called 911 because on the phone he threatened to commit suicide and wouldn’t answer the phone. There were also letters tucked away from that night and the night before. yes they said it was hard to understand….I never saw them….I couldn’t handle it. They didn’t want me at the service.
Also he was stringing me along while trying to pick up other girls and that’s also why I was mad when I found out. We were his world before but not anymore. It was as if something very evil took over. It wasn’t him anymore. I am still in shock and grief stricken.
I tried to warn his mother and brother that I knew something was wrong but no one listened. Blaming someone for someone else’s life is so cruel especially when I would have given my life for him.
Yes I know that many times they sleep walk and take more pills being completely unaware of it. Just 2 months before this he drove in his sleep and hit a tree. He woke up surrounded by police and didn’t know how he got there. He told me about it one week later. He didn’t want his folks to know but his brothers knew. All he remembered was going to sleep.
How can they give this to people? not only Ambien , but Xanax, Lunesta, Antidepressants? They all have these effects. Look at these school shooters how they don’t feel anything. That is because they are medicated or in withdrawal from antidepressants. www.ssristories.NET/school-shootings
Thank God for all those getting the truth out! Sorry if I have run on sentences. I have an 8 page letter I wrote his mom but never sent. At this point I just need to stay away from them. We should have stuck together to grieve, we share the same pain and the same love for him. I just think we are all in shock. I can’t even fathom the idea of being with another. I am so scared now.
I have a song I wrote for him I will attach called “Without You”. It is in a YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91-huug2X9s
Look at just this small database of tragedies: www.ssristories.NET. How I wish we could bring them all back. I am sure we would all have done something different. Thank you for all the work and information you make available for all of us who are suffering.
Note from Ann Blake Tracy: A condition known as a REM Sleep Disorder (RBD) is known to produce both murder and suicide as the patient acts out in a sleep state their worst nightmare. RBD is what is often behind these suicides and murder suicides associated with the use of antidepressants.
Although Ambien is the drug that has gotten more press on this disorder, 86% of those being diagnosed with RBD are currently taking an antidepressant. And in the past RBD was known mainly as a drug withdrawal state. With this information it should be clear that mixing Ambien with an antidepressant would increase the chances of RBD as would withdrawal from these drugs. Therefore a very slow and gradual withdrawal would be the safest way to withdraw from these drugs.