Survivor Story 190:8/77 – Psychiatric drugs – Long path of uncertainty. “I think they should be banned.”

 

A Survivor Speaks Out

2003

This is Survivor Story number 8.
Total number of stories in current database is 77

4/20/2003

Psychiatric drugs – Long path of uncertainty.

 

Antidepressants

“Through all the experiences with these drugs, I think they should be banned. I don’t believe a one of them helped me in the long run.”

I am 18 yrs old, since the age of 12 I have been on, Ativan, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa, Lexapro, Klonopin, Prozac, probably more in fact, I’d say I took most of the popular ones on the market.

Through all the experiences with these drugs, I think they should be banned. I don’t believe a one of them helped me in the long run, temporarily it may have, because some of them were narcotics. But to this day, at 18 yrs old, I know I will never be me again, I know somehow, someway it altered my personality for life, which is the most frustrating feeling a person can have in my opinion, wanting to be what is rightfully yours, yourself.

At the moment, I am coming off Lexapro, and I was only on this drug for 3 weeks, a small dose also, 10MG. Yet, I am having the same withdrawal affects as I did on Paxil, and Zoloft that I took for many months, the ‘shocks’ I like to call them, some people explain them with dizzy spells, electricity racing through the body, as if it releases through the brain, through the rest of your body, It truly makes me sick to my stomach when I see commercials on these drugs saying, Zoloft is not habit forming, Paxil is not habit forming. Because if your body has such horrible symptoms from not having a substance, is that not classified as habit-forming? Not habit forming, but yet if I took one of my pills right now, those symptoms would suddenly cease to exist, if that’s not habit-forming to your body, then I have no idea what is.

These drugs have made me high, they have made me low, they’ve made me hallucinate, paranoid, delusional, scared to death, crazy, suicidal, apathetic, detached, and most of all, they’ve made me not me. Which angers me more than anything. I look at the these drug industries, just like I look at a corporations like Phillip Morris. Who distribute harmful habit-forming substances to the ignorant. For the simple purpose of making handfuls of money, cause I believe that is the root of all evil. I am sympathetic to people who suffer with any form of mental illness, cause in the long run, it gets very hopeless if these drugs don’t work for you, cause you know there is something wrong, you take these drugs, they may work, they may not. If they don’t, then what? Do you continue looking for a simple-answer locked up inside a small pill.

That you really don’t understand what place they play in your body. Or do you stay with your natural self, and still feel terrible, That’s where the hopelessness comes from to many, although, I believe there is other possibilities,

For each individual out there, this will differ, some can cope simply by talking, others reading, some people take the destructive route, which I have, and many others continue to, drugs, alcohol. But even as I did take these various routes, there was/is something missing, but people must look, and continue to look. Although it’s a difficult way to live, there is still hope, I don’t think the answer lies inside a man-made pill. But that’s me, I am reluctant to recommend these drugs to people finding out they have a form of mental illness and are recommended medication, for the simple reason of uncertainty.

So many things can go wrong on them, At this point in history I truly don’t know if man-kind is ready to start messing with what makes up everything we are, the brain. It seems as if humans likes to start messing with things before they fully understand them, which I think is very dangerous. That seems logical to me, But when I ask doctors, why am I having these symptoms, from this drug, that is supposed to be so safe, I get, “I don’t know.”

As for me I will stop taking all these drugs, There is a few of them on my list above that I would do about anything to get off the market. So, ask questions, do research, don’t jump onto the long road of experimenting with this uncertain branch of drugs, for your son, daughter, yourself, or any loved one for that matter.

Joe
buffer@uncompiled.com

Joe
buffer@uncompiled.com

199 total views, 1 views today

Survivor Story 191:9/77 – Student’s Life Destroyed on Prozac. “I just felt insane. I felt like screaming…”

 

A Survivor Speaks Out

2003

This is Survivor Story number 9.
Total number of stories in current database is 77

5/16/2003

Student’s Life Destroyed on Prozac

 

Antidepressants

“(After begging my doctor to put me on Prozac,) I just felt insane. I felt like screaming, tearing my clothes off and running around like a madman.”

I wrote to this site several weeks ago about sending in my story. As I wrote it that night, the anger, fear and trauma built so badly that I ended up ranting and rambling. I needed some time away to think and to collect my thoughts about this nightmare so that I could do it justice on paper. I will try to make it as brief as I can:

In 1991, my parents separated. I was 18 at the time. My mom had been seeing a psychiatrist and was taking Prozac. She turned into a completely different person. She was vengeful, angry and borderline psychotic. My mom told me that my dad was an alcoholic (I since have learned she is as well) and that we have depression in our family. She recommended that I see a psychiatrist as well. I blew her off and went to college the next year. I starting drinking once a week (parties) in college and started becoming depressed. It was harder to get up in the mornings now and I remembered what mom had told me.

I panicked and went to the doctor. Mom went with me to the doctor (right before she left home) and I practically begged him to put me on Prozac if that was “what I needed.” He assured me that the side effects were dry mouth, possible weight gain, nausea, etc. I took the stuff and almost immediately started feeling badly (the doctors told me that that was impossible as it would take two weeks to get into my system.

They have since concluded that some patients are effected in a few days. I just felt insane. I felt like screaming, tearing my clothes off and running around like a madman. I told my doctor that the stuff was making me crazy but he told me that it was me and not the pills (For the record, he was an MD who could prescribe meds. I was referred to him by a psychologist.) So we upped the dose. I had also been taking a benzodiazepine (Klonopin) because I was having trouble sleeping and I immediately became addicted. The doctor never told me that these pills were addictive. I stayed on Klonopin for three years and mixed and matched medications constantly as my condition worsened. I tried to save a drug problem with more drugs and I spiraled completely out of control as I was caught in that vicious cycle we all have heard about.

I tried countless anti-depressants. I was later diagnosed with manic-depression and schizophrenia. The possibility exists that the Prozac helped my depression and left my manic phase alone (or aggravated it.) Medications are constantly evolving and the doctors don’t even know sometimes so I have no real answers. I took Paxil for a day and puked my guts out. I took Luvox and all I thought about was killing people. I took muscle relaxers and other pills while my addiction went unnoticed by doctors in two states. I switched to Atavin in 1995 and drugged myself completely to death for two years. I was taking the near maximum dose. I was later told by other doctors that I should never have been on benzodiazepines for that long. I told one doctor that I needed to quit taking the benzos as they were killing me. He apparently misunderstood me and told me that I would be on them for the rest of my life. I’m assuming he meant the other medications I was taking. I had to go to another doctor to phase down off of the benzos. I had a grand mal seizure by coming off them two days early (I had been phasing down for months.) This was at the Kentucky State Fair in front of my mother and sister and I almost died.

I was a solid B student with an IQ near the upper two percent in HS and I was also a successful athlete. There had been no major disciplinary problems in my schooling life up until I started taking medications. I never partied in HS and probably had only a few drinks of wine in my life before I was 18. Before the medication, I averaged a 3.0 my freshman year in college with the intent to do better. The pills sent my life into a tailspin. I dropped out of college several times after seeing my GPA dip to a 1.0. I bounced from drunk parent to drunk parent and doctor to doctor. I had been on pills until recently, even though I had kicked the Atavin for good seven years ago. I was unable to work during this time as I was addicted.

They tell us that the pills are non-addicting but they don’t understand people with addiction issues. I get addicted to anything. ANY powerful drug will addict me and the anti-depressants and mood stabilizers were no different. After fighting for my right to get clean and free of drugs and doctors (with both parents and doctors), I have made it to some sanity. I ballooned up to 242 pounds on the pills (one social worker asked me once if I would rather be fat or mentally ill.) I have since gotten down to a very healthy and athletic 185 and I feel great. I have also invested in proper nutritional supplementation. Natural supplements, especially fish oils, work and I regret not trying them earlier. In 1998, I had a domestic dispute with my dad and I was arrested and committed. I was abused, bullied and intimidated at the “mental health clinic” where I was committed, where I was put on more pills (after being coerced into signing my rights away.) Most of the rest of the “treatment” was having social workers tell me how to grocery shop (!) and play Scattergories with me and other patients (no joke.) I was also insulted in the clinic and overheard lines like “people think we’re Nazis and criminals.”

One social worker even told me, “There is no such thing as justice.” I may be misquoting exactly how she said it but the message was that justice was a fallacy in the real world. So I knew that I had no rights in this place. They charged me $500 a day (I couldn’t say no as I was a prisoner) and told me about disability and it’s insurance the day that I was to be released five months later. In the meantime, I had been put in a group home, where a miscommunication between the case worker there and the mental health clinic led to me being arrested and put back into the clinic. I was told by the clinic that I could stay as long as it took me to find a job, although the normal period was two weeks. After two weeks I didn’t have a job, so they kicked me out. Terrified, I left and went back to the clinic to talk about what had happened. The police were waiting for me and arrested me as I had “broken the rules of the group home by leaving.” I swear this is the God honest truth.

I now owe these snakes $54,000 for pills that got me addicted and for playing Scattegories while I was a prisoner. I have taken their pills, gotten addicted and have been unable to work. They continued to experiment, make more money and blamed a lot of the problems on me. I called up my original MD in 2001 and confronted him about the issue of medications actually causing the symptoms they are supposed to be treating (since proven my doctors.) I asked him if he knew about these potential problems when he prescribed the first round of meds and didn’t tell me. He said that he did after I continued to press him. I called him a bastard and he hung up (I will also note that he didn’t return any of my calls to talk to him and I had to get him at home.) I tried to report him (symbolically and as a public service) very recently. The woman I was trying to talk to answered me very rudely and in a belittling fashion that I couldn’t report something that long ago. I have since read a lot on this issue and feel that I am just another victim of corporate psychiatry (look it up online.) I am hurt, angry and betrayed by people who took an oath to help me. Some doctors were stooges while others knew the risks and didn’t tell me. These issues put my life at risk and have led to poverty and financial ruin for me.

I have talked to lawyers and they told me that they don’t even touch addiction cases of psyche meds, even if the doctors err. Apparently, these people have dictatorial power to experiment on citizens like me who suffered enough emotional abuse from drunken parents and cruel school children. I also have tried to contact newspapers online with the story but they have not written back to me. I have run from this issue as I feel I have no hope for retribution, satisfaction or justice (they also told me in the clinic that paybacks are bad. Gee I wonder why.) If anyone wants to contact me on this subject, I will be more then happy to talk. I will also be more then happy to fight as I still owe these so-called people $54,000. I don’t even have the money to declare bankruptcy right now. The payments are supposedly ability to pay but I get notices in the mail every month from the clinic.

Again, I swear that this is all the God honest truth. I wouldn’t have believed it myself if it hadn’t happened to me. I am a college graduate with a degree in history and a minor in political science and I am not stupid (I’m studying for the Mensa test now.) I knew what was happening to me the whole way but was too sick to fight it. If anyone has any information on organizations that fight these kinds of things, please let me know as I have tried many things. And, for God’s sake, don’t go to these people if you can help it. Watch your health, take the proper supplements and take care of yourselves. In my experience, if you go to these people and take their pills, you just put a gun in your mouth and pulled the trigger. I also have to live with the pain and shame of this stuff forever.

PS- Sorry it took so long but it’s a long story. I would like my name and E-mail printed as I would like to be a leader in the confrontation of these issues. If you have any questions, please E-mail me.

Jeff Riley
solongsuckers@netzero.net
(Please excuse the E-mail ID. I get angry about past stuff sometimes.)

224 total views, no views today

ICFDA Survivor Story

A Survivor Speaks Out

2003

This is Survivor Story number 1.
Total number of stories in current database is 77

1/16/2003

Addictive Problems with Viagra

Other Medications

“Viagra cost me a marriage of 45 years, my home, the respect of my family and the full use and enjoyment of a healthy normal life.”

wanted to share my story and see if anyone else has had the problems that I have had after an addictive use of the drug Viagra.

By way of introduction, my name is Travis L. Crim. I am a Caucasian male 67 years old. At age 60, I embarked on a form of martial art known as Hap Ki Do. At age 65, I earned my green belt.

Along the way of martial arts, I tried Viagra. I personally found it to be very addictive which led to other addictions. I personally found it psychotic and a complete change of personality. I was very defiant to anyone who tried to talk sense into my head. I followed the directions on the bottle of Viagra at the time which said “use as needed”. I have no doubt that my obsession with Viagra caused me to have what was termed a massive stroke.

My story of my adventure with Viagra will raise eyebrows. It is not of the faint of heart. It would make great to shower congressional testimony in addition to the stroke, Viagra cost me a marriage of 45 years, my home, the respect of my family and the full use and enjoyment of a healthy normal life. Take it from a now wise old man, Viagra can do nothing for a man worth the ravage injury it can cause. I truly was blessed with everything a man could ask for before my adventure with Viagra. I would greatly like to work with others to prevent additional injury to innocent people.

You are probably aware of the spouse abuse and murders at Fort Bragg North Carolina. I understand there is a task force from the Pentagon investigating the issue of four wives killed in three months. I wondered if anyone has investigated to see if any of the servicemen were on Viagra?

Travis L. Crim

Travis L. Crim
1211 N. Marshall
Henderson, Texas 75652
(903) 657-6329

477 total views, 1 views today

Survivor Story 183:1/77 – Addictive Problems with Viagra

 

A Survivor Speaks Out

2003

This is Survivor Story number 1.
Total number of stories in current database is 77

1/16/2003

Addictive Problems with Viagra

 

Other Medications

“Viagra cost me a marriage of 45 years, my home, the respect of my family and the full use and enjoyment of a healthy normal life.”

wanted to share my story and see if anyone else has had the problems that I have had after an addictive use of the drug Viagra.

By way of introduction, my name is Travis L. Crim. I am a Caucasian male 67 years old. At age 60, I embarked on a form of martial art known as Hap Ki Do. At age 65, I earned my green belt.

Along the way of martial arts, I tried Viagra. I personally found it to be very addictive which led to other addictions. I personally found it psychotic and a complete change of personality. I was very defiant to anyone who tried to talk sense into my head. I followed the directions on the bottle of Viagra at the time which said “use as needed”. I have no doubt that my obsession with Viagra caused me to have what was termed a massive stroke.

My story of my adventure with Viagra will raise eyebrows. It is not of the faint of heart. It would make great to shower congressional testimony in addition to the stroke, Viagra cost me a marriage of 45 years, my home, the respect of my family and the full use and enjoyment of a healthy normal life. Take it from a now wise old man, Viagra can do nothing for a man worth the ravage injury it can cause. I truly was blessed with everything a man could ask for before my adventure with Viagra. I would greatly like to work with others to prevent additional injury to innocent people.

You are probably aware of the spouse abuse and murders at Fort Bragg North Carolina. I understand there is a task force from the Pentagon investigating the issue of four wives killed in three months. I wondered if anyone has investigated to see if any of the servicemen were on Viagra?

Travis L. Crim

Travis L. Crim
1211 N. Marshall
Henderson, Texas 75652
(903) 657-6329

517 total views, 1 views today

ICFDA

WARNING: Withdrawal can often be more dangerous than continuing on a medication. Please click here before discontinuing any prescription abruptly.

Stories most recently submitted,are listed first.

ICFDA Survivor Stories 2001

2/18/2001

Hope through alternatives even after long-term use of Prozac

“The doctors said that I needed the drugs to pull through. I finally said, ‘No more drugs!'”


1/21/2001

9-Year Old Nephew on Prozac

“I was infuriated that a child…could be medically prescribed a drug that causes…violence and turmoil in the world.”


1/23/2001

My Family’s Struggles on Prozac

“Thank you for having your site so that people can have the information to do something about this overmedication going on.”


1/1/2001

A Real Life SSRI Laboratory–Notes from a Group Home

“Too many doctors receive little or no feedback following prescriptions to patients.”


3/11/2001

A Nurse Speaks out about Prozac, Effexor and Zyban

“I have discovered many, many horrifying things about these drugs.”


1/23/2001

Humiliated and Worse on Prozac

“Frankly I think Eli Lilly is 100% responsible for the hell I have been through…”


3/11/2001

I am a Prozac Survivor

“I think this experience will haunt me for the rest of my life.”


1/1/2001

I Traded Depression for Paxil Psychosis

“I never had a single psychotic episode or symptom until I had taken Paxil and started to become aggressive and delusional.”


3/18/2001

One Celexa Killed my Father

“He was not a depressed man, nor would he ever have taken his own life.”


2/17/2001

Plagued by Side Effects after Paxil, then Cipramil

“I will never ever take this form of medication again.”


2/4/2001

Prozac (Heaven + Hell)

“In a period of nine months while taking Prozac I had 11 extremely violent attacks on people.”


2/16/2001

Prozac Killed My Son

“I want to join others who are trying to remove Prozac from the hands of doctors who hand these pills out like ‘candy to kids’.”


7/30/2001

What Happened to Caitlin

“…it is our hope that other parents can learn from our tragedy, and other children can be saved.”


7/23/2001

Murder-Suicide on Zyban

“But after going on Zyban something went terribly wrong.”


7/24/2001

Paxil–A Dangerous Prescription for PMS

“It shocked me that she would prescribe a medication with such severe withdrawal symptoms to be taken every two weeks on rotation.”


7/26/2001

Prozac Prescribed “Without a Thought”

“I cannot help wondering how much of his problem was enhanced or made worse by this drug.”


7/31/2001

Prozac and Klonopin Wrecked My Life

“They ruined me. I am damaged goods forever.”


8/6/2001

Suicide After Only a Month on Celexa

“…depression worsened on Celexa.”


8/6/2001

Xanax and Paxil—a Life-Altering Combination

“The scary part is that this was considered a legal practice.”


8/9/2001

Coming Off Paxil—the Hard Way

“…I told him I was going to just end it all and kill myself.”


8/6/2001

Going Crazy after 10 Days on Paxil and Xanax

“I realized that the majority of my symptoms were directly related to the Paxil.”


9/6/2001

Salvaging What’s Left after Paxil, then Zoloft, then Ritalin.

“DON’T THINK IT CAN’T HAPPEN TO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.”


8/28/2001

Shocks and Suicidal Thoughts on Paxil

“Finally! I am not the only person who had these symptoms!”


8/22/2001

Attempted Murder-Suicide on Zyban

“Now he is serving 15 yrs. in jail for the death of his little girl and the trauma that his son had to face.”


8/17/2001

Paxil Prescribed for Fatigue

“I can remember it being hard to feel a smile.”


7/16/2001

The Wrong Way to Withdraw from Paxil

“Now that I know all these weird thoughts aren’t me…just the Paxil.”


8/6/2001

A Nurse’s Nightmare on Xanax and Paxil

“In just 3 days I began going crazy.”


9/23/2001

Boys Ranch Sees Problem with Antidepressants

“It has been our experience over the past 19 years that not one of the boys NEEDED to be on drugs. I wish we could get this word out to more people.”


9/26/2001

Now in Jail for Murder after Prozac

“I was charged with murder and also death penalty.”


12/12/2001

MY NIGHTMARISH EXPERIENCE WHILE TAKING THE ANTIDEPRESSENT DRUG PAXIL

“…the constant nightmares and the stress of what happened to me while on Paxil will never go away.”


12/8/2001

Prozac killed my “Lawman of the Year Brother”

“When will this “madness stop?”


12/8/2001

Paxil Ruined My Life

“I thought I’d seek assistance for being a little shy.” “..Paxil ruined my brain.”


12/8/2001

Prozac Prescribed Immediately

“Within a few weeks (of taking Prozac), I began having nightmares of murdering people.”


12/17/2001

Strange Colors on Paxil

“…my brain started freaking out inside over colors .”


404 total views, 1 views today

Survivor Stories 2001 [34]

 

WARNING: Withdrawal can often be more dangerous than continuing on a medication. Please click here before discontinuing any prescription abruptly.

 

Stories most recently submitted,are listed first.

ICFDA Survivor Stories 2001

2/18/2001

Hope through alternatives even after long-term use of Prozac

“The doctors said that I needed the drugs to pull through. I finally said, ‘No more drugs!'”


1/21/2001

9-Year Old Nephew on Prozac

“I was infuriated that a child…could be medically prescribed a drug that causes…violence and turmoil in the world.”


1/23/2001

My Family’s Struggles on Prozac

“Thank you for having your site so that people can have the information to do something about this overmedication going on.”


1/1/2001

A Real Life SSRI Laboratory–Notes from a Group Home

“Too many doctors receive little or no feedback following prescriptions to patients.”


3/11/2001

A Nurse Speaks out about Prozac, Effexor and Zyban

“I have discovered many, many horrifying things about these drugs.”


1/23/2001

Humiliated and Worse on Prozac

“Frankly I think Eli Lilly is 100% responsible for the hell I have been through…”


3/11/2001

I am a Prozac Survivor

“I think this experience will haunt me for the rest of my life.”


1/1/2001

I Traded Depression for Paxil Psychosis

“I never had a single psychotic episode or symptom until I had taken Paxil and started to become aggressive and delusional.”


3/18/2001

One Celexa Killed my Father

“He was not a depressed man, nor would he ever have taken his own life.”


2/17/2001

Plagued by Side Effects after Paxil, then Cipramil

“I will never ever take this form of medication again.”


2/4/2001

Prozac (Heaven + Hell)

“In a period of nine months while taking Prozac I had 11 extremely violent attacks on people.”


2/16/2001

Prozac Killed My Son

“I want to join others who are trying to remove Prozac from the hands of doctors who hand these pills out like ‘candy to kids’.”


7/30/2001

What Happened to Caitlin

“…it is our hope that other parents can learn from our tragedy, and other children can be saved.”


7/23/2001

Murder-Suicide on Zyban

“But after going on Zyban something went terribly wrong.”


7/24/2001

Paxil–A Dangerous Prescription for PMS

“It shocked me that she would prescribe a medication with such severe withdrawal symptoms to be taken every two weeks on rotation.”


7/26/2001

Prozac Prescribed “Without a Thought”

“I cannot help wondering how much of his problem was enhanced or made worse by this drug.”


7/31/2001

Prozac and Klonopin Wrecked My Life

“They ruined me. I am damaged goods forever.”


8/6/2001

Suicide After Only a Month on Celexa

“…depression worsened on Celexa.”


8/6/2001

Xanax and Paxil—a Life-Altering Combination

“The scary part is that this was considered a legal practice.”


8/9/2001

Coming Off Paxil—the Hard Way

“…I told him I was going to just end it all and kill myself.”


8/6/2001

Going Crazy after 10 Days on Paxil and Xanax

“I realized that the majority of my symptoms were directly related to the Paxil.”


9/6/2001

Salvaging What’s Left after Paxil, then Zoloft, then Ritalin.

“DON’T THINK IT CAN’T HAPPEN TO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.”


8/28/2001

Shocks and Suicidal Thoughts on Paxil

“Finally! I am not the only person who had these symptoms!”


8/22/2001

Attempted Murder-Suicide on Zyban

“Now he is serving 15 yrs. in jail for the death of his little girl and the trauma that his son had to face.”


8/17/2001

Paxil Prescribed for Fatigue

“I can remember it being hard to feel a smile.”


7/16/2001

The Wrong Way to Withdraw from Paxil

“Now that I know all these weird thoughts aren’t me…just the Paxil.”


8/6/2001

A Nurse’s Nightmare on Xanax and Paxil

“In just 3 days I began going crazy.”


9/23/2001

Boys Ranch Sees Problem with Antidepressants

“It has been our experience over the past 19 years that not one of the boys NEEDED to be on drugs. I wish we could get this word out to more people.”


9/26/2001

Now in Jail for Murder after Prozac

“I was charged with murder and also death penalty.”


12/12/2001

MY NIGHTMARISH EXPERIENCE WHILE TAKING THE ANTIDEPRESSENT DRUG PAXIL

“…the constant nightmares and the stress of what happened to me while on Paxil will never go away.”


12/8/2001

Prozac killed my “Lawman of the Year Brother”

“When will this “madness stop?”


12/8/2001

Paxil Ruined My Life

“I thought I’d seek assistance for being a little shy.” “..Paxil ruined my brain.”


12/8/2001

Prozac Prescribed Immediately

“Within a few weeks (of taking Prozac), I began having nightmares of murdering people.”


12/17/2001

Strange Colors on Paxil

“…my brain started freaking out inside over colors .”


187 total views, no views today

Scared on Serzone

“I thought maybe that I was nuts, because the doctor just looked at me like I was imagining things.”

 

I have been taking SERZONE for a year. It made me tired all the time, I had horrible nightmares, and I would go through periods of erratic sleep. Some times, I would be awakened in the night with a “deep” chill – then I would get up and lay back down and get hot flushes in my neck and head. As well as orthostatic hypotension. I have tried to get off twice…but each time within a two week period, I would become negative, anxiety prone, suffer frequent loose bowel movements and depressions. Which in turn, would make me go back on, only to suffer severe headaches, tiredness, etc…

I have allergies and when I am on SERZONE, they seem worse. I am now trying to suffer through what I call my personal withdrawal. I am scared to go back to the doctor, because he looks at me like I am nuts when I tell him that I have these side effects…since SERZONE is supposed to be relatively small side effects.

I also have memory problems and heart palpitations. The dreams are the worse. Before I took SERZONE, I really didn’t dream much and rarely if at all had nightmares. With Serzone, I have BAD DREAMS all the time. Sometimes, I wonder if I am crazy. I experience other side effects but they are tolerable.

At first I tried Paxil – that was awful. Then Doxepin, which made me swell, my breasts hurt, joint pain, and earache. I also must say that I went from 106 lbs to 124 lbs. Now that I have gotten off of Serzone, I have already seen a loss of weight. Tell me if you have heard of any of these symptoms on Serzone. Am I crazy?

Right now, I have been off for two weeks – and I am having intestinal problems, diarrhea and constipation at the same time….cramps, chills. The last two times I tried getting off, the symptoms slowly started showing up after exactly TWO weeks of not taking them. This is SERZONE. And they keep saying that SERZONE has the least effects, and that it has a short half life. But, I haven’t seen much about withdrawal associated with this drug, because I believe the studies have not been made to a large degree.

I am 43 years old. I have been on SERZONE for a year and a half. Suffer from chills in my sleep to horrible nightmares. I thought maybe that I was nuts, because the doctor just looked at me like I was imagining things. I complained of ear pain, but had no infections, etc., etc. I appreciate your concern.

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 78.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

349 total views, 1 views today

Going Through Withdrawals on Mind-Altering Meds

“…I was sent to see a psychiatrist who said it was anxiety and depression, and for the following 4 years prescribed 22 different types of mood-altering drugs…”

 

What a wonderful site.

My name is Carol and I live in the UK.

At present I am going through severe withdrawals. I was first given opiate painkillers(Pethidine/Demerol) for pain and after a year became the opposite of my usual bubbly, jolly, extrovert self. The doctor said I was depressed and added Doxepin to the opiate. Six months later my hell began when I developed severe anxiety and panic attacks. The doctor said “Too much Pethidine,” and stopped it dead. Within 2 days I couldn’t function, so I was sent to see a psychiatrist who said it was anxiety and depression, and for the following 4 years prescribed 22 different types of mood-altering drugs including Valium, Clobazam, Oxazepam, Stelazine, Melleril, Chloral Hydrate, Anafranil, Surmontil, Seroxat, Temazepam, Zopiclone, Nitrazepam, Prozac, Temgesic and others.

I attended a mental health day center twice weekly and became suicidal so went into hospital as a voluntary patient. While there and on these drugs, I developed this fear of mental illness especially Schizophrenia. I told my Psychiatrist this, he laughed and said “Don’t be so silly, you are too old for it ,you don’t even have a family history of anxiety let alone that. I’m discharging you from my care–no more pills, go out and get a job, that’s what you need.”

It was an awful 10 months then I started to have the odd better hour, but then disaster struck and I had to have a operation. I was in for three weeks and had opiate injections several times a day. Two days after I came home all my symptoms came back–panics, severe anxiety plus much more but the thing that scares me the most are the irrational repetitive fear thoughts. They are connected to my fear of schizophrenia as one is “What if I hear voices?” and the other is “What if I think the TV or Radio etc is talking to me?” Then I work myself up into sheer panic. Part of me knows it’s silly and irrational but another part of me says “Yes but what if”. It’s a disgrace what doctors do to people with these awful pills.

As well as the Internet groups benzo@onelist & benzo-problems.org/ I also get much support and friendship from a wonderful project here in the UK. It is called the Bristol and District Tranquilizer Project and was set up by a marvelous lady called Val Stevens who herself went through sheer hell whilst on and coming off of Ativan.

It is through here that I wish to say to my saviors, Val, Ian, Margaret, Dave, Roy, Babs, Tom, Ann that myself and my husband Steve and children will be forever grateful for everything they have done and are still doing for me. We will never be able to repay them. I adore each and everyone of them for they too have suffered this hell yet devote their lives to helping others on a daily basis. I respect each and everyone of them for their courage as I do all my fellow sufferers at the Project and around the world.

I never thought that I would say that good has come out of my hell but if it wasn’t for these drugs, I would not have had the privilege of meeting so many wonderful people and having such dear friends.

Thank you Val, Ian and gang for giving me and my family hope again. The Project can be contacted at 42-44 Triangle West in Clifton, Bristol UK The helpline is 0117-9349950 Mon-Thurs 10am-4pm. Thank you so much.

Please feel free to put my story on your site.

Carol

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 79.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

419 total views, no views today

St. John’s Wort and Acute Insomnia

“SJW must be as powerful a serotonergic as Prozac.”

 

I was so interested when I saw your web site, because from what everyone is saying, serotonin should be added to our drinking supply. Yet not enough is truly known about the brain.

Here is my story. It’s not entirely related to a drug per se, but to St. John’s Wort. I took SJW extract for three weeks in November, three droppers full a day, hoping to stave off winter depression before it hit. I then developed SEVERE insomnia that landed me in the ER twice, and then in the Psych unit. Had a sleep study to no avail. Since then I haven’t been able to sleep without ambien or halcion, despite having no prior history of insomnia. And they keep giving me more serotonergic drugs! I can’t see what it could be besides the St. John’s Wort! And I am only 22!

Zoloft was the worst drug they put me on, and gave me a dissociative panic attack for days on end. I don’t know exactly what my disorder is, but I had a deranged SPECT scan with massive overactivity. Serotonin is a double-edged sword. Watch out! All the research is definitely not in on this one. When I was younger and used to do LSD I had a lot of the same effects that SSRI’s give. They are not that dissimilar.

I would be highly interested if you ever run across anyone who had a severe disabling insomnia somehow induced by excess serotonin. I have talked to one person who had exactly the same thing happen, after a few Prozac, and it turned out they also had a carcinoid syndrome. Now, I know I don’t have this, but I don’t know how to explain any of what I have been through without mentioning the St. John’s Wort, because until that day I was 100% fine, and since then I have been unable to sleep and feeling restless. They had put me on tricyclic antidepressants and then several different SSRI’s which honestly haven’t improved things, and which I secretly discontinued. It’s not like I am depressed anyway, and in fact was in the Psych Hospital for sleep deprivation and released because they couldn’t find any evidence of a mental problem. They said maybe I was manic, but I wasn’t really hyper and had no response to Lithium or Depakote. Then they withdrew that diagnosis, only to say they didn’t know what was wrong with me.

But the thing about the SJW is this: I was on it for about three weeks of a black mood, when I honestly felt my mood lift… then I called everyone and said, “Gee this stuff really works!” Then within days the massive insomnia came. Now my mood is not so great, and I still can’t sleep. So I fail to see what induced it otherwise. All in all it’s weird. SJW must be as powerful a serotonergic as Prozac. I don’t think, if it’s so powerful, that it could really be free of side effects, even if it is natural. That is a rather grandiose claim, made by Howard (? Harold) Bloomfield, the doc who did all the SJW research. My three cents:)

Note from Ann Blake-Tracy:

Something to consider is that “Sleepless in California” had used a drug (LSD) in the past that produces high levels of serotonin. It may be that St. John’s Wort used by someone who has higher levels of serotonin already may find that they have adverse reactions to St. John’s Wort. This would also raise questions about those who have previously used an SSRI using St. John’s Wort. And to answer the question about higher levels of serotonin and insomnia, I refer you to the information in my book PROZAC: PANACEA OR PANDORA? which demonstrates that high levels of serotonin will lower the metabolism of serotonin and results in insomnia.

(Sleepless in California)

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 81.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

 

608 total views, 2 views today

Memory Loss on Zyban (Wellbutrin)

“I just wanted to share this, so sister/fellow sufferers won’t have to settle for these drugs.”

 

I actually have been on Zyban (Wellbutrin) just recently and in trying to get off of it, am having that same dang “EBP” that I did with Effexor!! Dizzy, running into things, moody/crying, and this weird thing like you’d expect to find with someone who’s had a stroke. I KNOW what I want to say, but I can’t bring the picture into my mind, so I can’t bring up the name. If that makes sense. I don’t mean words that I can’t think of because they’re stuck in my long-term memory, but words like “Popsicle” and “scone”. Even worse are words that are abstract, such as “audible” and “trepidation” (of which I am having quite a bit of, I must say!). Have you heard of anything like this with others on Buproprion? And if so, when does it pass?? DOES it pass???

I have always been very articulate, having started reading at age 3, and have a love of language and words. I can go look up a word in the dictionary, and 20 minutes later finds me still at the book, actually reading it! I am very concerned about this side effect/withdrawal, this “dead zone” created in my brain.

I know Effexor effects epinephrine, norepinephrine and serotonin…..which is the same thing the cocaine effects! I do know that PTSD sufferers seem to have damage to the endocrine system, and the epinephrine and norepinephrine are involved. Effexor, initially, worked miracles for me (I had tried EVERY kind of therapy known to help). I found a therapy called EMDR, which worked miracles……..LASTING miracles. I just wanted to share this and pass it along, so sister/fellow sufferers won’t have to settle for these drugs when they just might have a much better avenue! A lasting one, WITHOUT SIDE EFFECTS.

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 63.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

467 total views, 1 views today