Memory Loss on Zyban (Wellbutrin)

“I just wanted to share this, so sister/fellow sufferers won’t have to settle for these drugs.”


I actually have been on Zyban (Wellbutrin) just recently and in trying to get off of it, am having that same dang “EBP” that I did with Effexor!! Dizzy, running into things, moody/crying, and this weird thing like you’d expect to find with someone who’s had a stroke. I KNOW what I want to say, but I can’t bring the picture into my mind, so I can’t bring up the name. If that makes sense. I don’t mean words that I can’t think of because they’re stuck in my long-term memory, but words like “Popsicle” and “scone”. Even worse are words that are abstract, such as “audible” and “trepidation” (of which I am having quite a bit of, I must say!). Have you heard of anything like this with others on Buproprion? And if so, when does it pass?? DOES it pass???

I have always been very articulate, having started reading at age 3, and have a love of language and words. I can go look up a word in the dictionary, and 20 minutes later finds me still at the book, actually reading it! I am very concerned about this side effect/withdrawal, this “dead zone” created in my brain.

I know Effexor effects epinephrine, norepinephrine and serotonin…..which is the same thing the cocaine effects! I do know that PTSD sufferers seem to have damage to the endocrine system, and the epinephrine and norepinephrine are involved. Effexor, initially, worked miracles for me (I had tried EVERY kind of therapy known to help). I found a therapy called EMDR, which worked miracles……..LASTING miracles. I just wanted to share this and pass it along, so sister/fellow sufferers won’t have to settle for these drugs when they just might have a much better avenue! A lasting one, WITHOUT SIDE EFFECTS.

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 63.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

Losing Control on Luvox

“…there seems to be a screaming, and I have begun pulling my hair out, one strand at a time.”


I have been taking LUVOX for about 4 weeks and though I was informed it would take several weeks for the drug to work, I began noticing changes in me within the last two weeks. I seem to be constantly agitated, with periods of crying at the drop of a hat. I feel I am loosing control of my sanity. I am anxious, believing I need some sort of VALIUM type drug rather than an anti-depressant. Inside me there seems to be a screaming, and I have begun pulling my hair out, one strand at a time, to the point it is EXTREMELY noticeable. Two weeks ago, I began having breathing difficulties, then again I do have asthma. Doctor put me on an antibiotic and sent me home. I went back to the Doctor, I tried explaining my symptoms, but all that was done was a change of antibiotic, with the addition of cough medicine with codeine. I am having trouble sleeping, breathing, and my metal state is a mess! I am over-reacting to the smallest things, and am striking out without forethought of the consequences, such as breaking off a 2-year relationship (which hours later had no idea why I did such a disastrous, nonsensical, thing). I really do feel I am loosing it, and I believe it to be the LUVOX!

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 59.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

He Never Said Good-Bye

If you have or know of teens or pre-teens struggling with depression or hopelessness, or if you know someone on anti-depressants, I hope this account will help you. I believe that if I had read a story like the one you will now read, it might very well have saved our son. My wife would still have her little boy. My daughter would still have her little brother. And I would still have my best companion and friend in the whole wide world.


Matthew Miller

It was unusually cool for the last day of July. The sun was bright, and there were only a few scattered clouds. The gentle winds that took the teenager’s balloons skyward also helped dry our tears as we said good-bye to Matt.

This moment, as hundreds of his family and friends gathered under the shade of a gentle oak which now shelters his grave, was by far the cruelest and hardest of our lives. For until these last few days, my wife Cheryl and I had been so very blessed. We had two wonderful children. Our daughter Jenny had just turned 15 only a couple weeks earlier. We were all healthy, safe and so untouched by any real understanding of pain and sorrow. Surely, our pastor in delivering those final words must have been talking about someone else. Not our Matt.

Matt was only 13. He had never gone on a real date. Never driven a car. And never been away from home for more than a few nights at a time with friends.

He weighed exactly one hundred pounds. I know, because he was so proud of that all-important milestone in any boy’s life, he bragged to me about it just a few days before.

Yet now he was gone. Forever. Without so much as a good-bye. A hug. Or even a note.

This is his story. And I summon the courage to tell it only because I know he would want me to. And because the good Lord who now holds our Matt so tightly in his arms has asked me to.
But, as I said, he was 13. And many changes were taking place in his life. Not the least of which was our move to a new neighborhood, and a new school.

So, like most parents, we felt that his periods of moodiness and sullen behavior were not all that unusual for a young teenager. He was trying to make new friends in a new situation. He was going through many physical changes. (We noticed only recently that his voice had dropped about an octave, and that he was working far too hard to keep it there.)

By the end of his first year in a new middle school, his teachers and counselors recommended that Matt find some professional help over the summer. They knew he was smart, yet they saw problems with his grades. And they were worried that his withdrawn demeanor might be more than just a passing “teenage” phase, and could have a more deep-seated cause.

Now let me be quick to add that Matt was never violent. Never disrespectful. Nor ever a real threat, to anyone. He had a warm sense of humor, a love of friendship and heart of solid gold that his friends who knew him well, loved in him. He had a special way with little children. He would have been a wonderful father.

But together, believing what we were doing was the right thing, we began a brief, but tragic journey with Matt into a world we didn’t understand–the world of professional psychiatry and legalized mind-altering medications. An unfamiliar world with its own rules. Its own accepted procedures. And its own arrogance.

“Here, let’s try these for a week. ”

I remembered thinking at the time, how wonderful. It was only our second visit to the psychiatrist, and already the good doctor knew exactly how to help our son. It was all so easy. There was a terrific new medication available that was already helping millions with depression. The fact that we had never heard of it, didn’t matter. We weren’t doctors. And we never had to deal with depression on such personal terms before.

The drug was one of the new breed of anti-depressants. They’ve only been on the market for a few years, and they’re the ones you read about now all the time. Prozac is one of the them. So is Paxil. But the sample bottle that we were handed had a blue label, contained only seven tiny 50-mg capsules and was called Zoloft.

What we have since learned about Zoloft and related medications fills volumes. But the top line is simply this–today, doctors and psychiatrists are increasingly willing to use powerful and dangerous pills that dramatically change chemical balances in the brain. We don’t know all the answers, but we do know what happened to our son. And, we know that when things go wrong, they can go terribly wrong.

The Brain. Think about it. It’s the seat of everything that makes us human. It allows us to think and move and experience pain and joy and makes us who we are. The brain is not just any organ in the hierarchy of organs, it is the organ. The single most powerful and mysterious creation in God’s Universe. Its complexity in unfathomable, containing more than one hundred billion cells and over a trillion connections!

Now if your doctor ever tells he understands exactly what these drugs do in your brain, I will tell you this: He is lying. Because those who know the most, admit they don’t know. They experiment and they guess. But that’s about it.

And if your doctor offers what has become the standard line about depression having real physical causes, that chemical balances need to be brought back to within normal levels, or that you’re not generating enough serotonin to ever feel happy, stop him right there! Ask him these questions.

What is normal? And how do I know that my chemical balances aren’t normal? How do I know that this drug will make them normal? And what if, just maybe, I’m unhappy about real problems in my life?

Most likely, however, your doctor will tell you little or nothing. Ours didn’t. Because the truth is, they neither understand, nor are they willing to explain what these drugs can do and have done to countless of thousands, once they take control of the processes in the brain.

We like to think of our doctors as highly skilled technicians. I know that Cheryl and I did. We hope and pray that they can adjust our chemistry much like a skilled mechanic fine tunes a sports car. But Dr. Peter Breggin, a psychiatrist whom Time Magazine calls “Prozac’s Worst Enemy,” points out in his book, it is more like a “clumsy office colleague spilling coffee on your computer. Except that your brain is far more vulnerable and easily damaged.”

Our doctor simply said try these pills for a week.

We didn’t have a week.

Our Son Didn’t Want to Die

I can’t believe our son wanted to die. I never will.

Yet sometime during the night after taking his seventh capsule of Zoloft, he got out of bed, entered his closet and quietly left us. We never heard a sound even though our room shared an adjacent wall.

He did not leave a note. He had never threatened suicide. He never talked about it. He indicated in his doctor’s office just a week before, he would never consider suicide an option. He never gave us any indication that he had been thinking about it. I honestly don’t believe he had thought about it, until something happened inside his tortured mind that night.

There was no cry for help. No scream. Nothing…but that single, fateful, horrifying and irreversible act.
We were leaving on a long-anticipated family vacation the next morning. Matt, although he hated long drives, had been looking forwarding to jet skiing at the Wisconsin resort where we had reserved a room overlooking Lake Michigan. He had just purchased a new GameBoy and his all-time favorite Zelda game. He had just told his girl friend that very evening that he would call her from Wisconsin in a few days.

For a bright, healthy and loved young man, Matt had every reason to live. Yet under the power of this debilitating drug, he found a way to die. We know it was not our Matt who took his own life. This was a Matt “high” on a legalized pill. Reality and nightmares became indistinguishable for him. His world–the universe that was his chemically stimulated, serotonin-enriched, emotionally-tortured brain—came crashing down around him with such ferocity, he had no way out.

What we now know to have happened, from published research, phone calls, and e-mail with leading authors in this field, is that our son suffered drug-induced “akathisia” which led to the mania which caused his death. Akathisia is simply an uncontrollable agitation or restlessness brought about by the stimulant nature of the drug. We all noticed that Matt had become especially hyperactive that last day. His sister complained that Matt was being loud and bothering her more than normal. His grandmother who was visiting remarked that Matt could hardly sit still through our Sunday brunch.

Mania is a well-documented side effect with SSRI use. And what we didn’t know is that in depressed people, this mania is often the trigger that leads to suicidal thoughts and actions. Depression in and of itself rarely accounts for suicide. Zoloft, in Matt’s case, was like throwing a match onto gasoline. It’s exactly this reaction that prompts many doctors to also prescribe a sedative along with anti-depressants in the initial stages of treatment. We were so ignorant.

Matt was a victim. And, as we soon found out, there have been many, many others before him. Yet few people are aware of just how troubled a past these drugs have had. Few parents are aware. Few patients are aware. And most frightening of all, few doctors are aware, including Matt’s psychiatrist.

A Short Course in SSRI’s

I didn’t know what these initials stood for until about a week after Matt’s death. Technically, this family of drugs is called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors. I now have my own interpretation of this acronym–Stop. Scream. And Run Instead.
Dr. Ann Tracy, a Ph.D. in psychology and health sciences, National Director for the International Coalition of Drug Awareness and a tireless researcher into these drugs, compares them to many of the illegal psychotropic drugs being pushed on street corner–drugs like “speed,” cocaine or LSD. (She is also quick to add that at least these are sold without the pretense or hypocrisy of being good for you.) Dr. Peter Breggin, Director for the Center of the Study of Psychiatry simply says the new anti-depressants have a “dark side.”

The FDA keeps records on adverse drug reactions. It’s a purely voluntary system so it probably under-reports the magnitude of the real problem (some suggest it could miss as many as 90% of the cases!), but still the numbers are compelling.

Jane Heimlich, in Health and Healing, states, “Prozac has the distinction of having the most ADR’s [adverse drug reactions] in history.” And you need to realize that these drugs have only been around for less than a decade!

As of October, 1993, during only the first two years of Prozac’s marketing, over 28,000 complaints of adverse side effects had been filed with the FDA, including nearly 2,000 suicide attempts. 1,300 deaths were reported. As of last year (1996), the number of complaints has risen to 36,000. To put this in perspective, consider that Elavil, another anti-depressant has received only a tenth as many, with just 2,000 complaints in its entire 20 years on the market.

However, it’s the tragic stories behind these numbers that are the real eye-openers. Besides Matt’s, there are many, many more. And, in a way, we were lucky. These drugs are present in patients who have committed some of the most violent, unpredictable and disturbing crimes and suicides you could ever imagine.

“But if they weren’t safe, they couldn’t prescribe them.”

My wife made this observation. My friends have. We want to believe we are protected from these drugs.

But consider that LSD was once legal. In the 1950’s it was promoted by Eli Lilly as an aid to psychoanalysis, a cure for alcoholism and a way to clear up mental illness. PCP, now referred to as Angel Dust, was legal. It was marketed by Parke, Davis & Company as Serynl, an analgesic, or painkiller! Thalidomide, the horror drug of the 50’s that directly caused the tragic deformed births of over 5,000 newborns, many without limbs, was also a legal drug. It was marketed as a sleeping pill. And most recently, Redux and Fen-Phen were legal. Millions of people, mostly women, now face heart valve problems and a perilous withdrawal as these drugs are removed from shelves. Each of these drugs was tested in the marketplace before being recalled. Yet many remain in today’s drug counterculture as a gift to the world from the same manufacturers creating new pills today.

There is a long history of today’s pharmaceutical companies rushing drugs through testing and through FDA approval only to find out later that severe adverse reactions occur in the real world. (Did you know that drug companies test their own drugs for the FDA?) In the case of Prozac, it was approved on the basis of only seventeen studies over the course of just four to six weeks. Although they will tell that thousands of people were tested in this phase, it is fact that just fewer than 300 people were exposed to this drug in these trials!

And don’t believe for a moment this is an isolated incident of one drug slipping through the cracks. In 1990, the General Accounting Office, a congressional watchdog agency, reviewed all the drugs approved by FDA between 1976 and 1985. It found that 102 out of 198 drugs turned out to have “serious post approval risks.” The rate was even higher for psychiatric drugs. (Nine out of 15.)

And you need to understand that 80% of the drugs marketed in the United States today are not approved by the FDA for use by children under twelve. Studies simply have not been done to sufficiently document their safety and efficacy in this age group. And consequently, their use in treating children is solely up to the discretion of the physician. Appallingly, Eli Lilly is going ahead with plans to market Prozac in peppermint and other assorted flavors to make the drug more attractive as a children’s medication!

Today, over 17 million people now take some kind of SSRI medication. They’re taking it for everything from insomnia to acne to weight loss to alcohol addiction. And the two largest manufacturers, Eli Lilly (Prozac) and Pfizer (Zoloft) now have worldwide revenues of $2.6 billion and $1.6 billion respectively.

So how can a drug be so successful, and yet so dangerous? This is the question I set to out to answer for myself. And I believe the answer lies in our own willingness to believe that there’s a quick solution for everything.

We want to believe in miracles. We want something for nothing. And if you would believe the ads currently running for Prozac, it’s all yours for the taking. When a cloud hangs overhead, there’s sunshine in a bottle.

It’s so easy. It’s so deceiving.

What Can You Do?

Educate yourself. Ask questions about the drugs your doctor prescribes. Trust in yourself. Trust in God. But don’t believe in miracles.

Our veterinarian gave us five pages of information on medication prescribed for our dog’s stomach problems. We received nothing that would help us understand Zoloft. There was no discussion about alternative treatments, which should have included the most common-sense approach of preliminary counseling and therapy. The diagnosis was quick (we assume our doctor found “depression” although we were never informed what Matt was being treated for).

Please do not allow this to happen to yourself or a loved one. The primary role of these medications is to change the way your brain functions. It’s a drug that creates abnormalities. It doesn’t correct them.

So be aware. Learn from our pain. Please understand that depression is a potentially life-threatening illness. Be an alarmist. And don’t allow anyone in your family to take any prescription drug that you know little about.

Don’t be afraid to just say no.

We will sleep better knowing that Matt’s life which meant so much to those who knew him, could perhaps someday mean the difference between life and death for yourself or a loved one.

[Matthew Miller was a student at Harmony Middle School in Overland Park, Kansas and had previously been a student at Mill Creek Elementary in Lenexa. If you wish to make a contribution to his memorial fund, please send it to Matthew Miller’s Memorial, care of his church, The Church of the Resurrection, 13720 Roe Avenue, Leawood, KS 66215.]

Mark and Cheryl Miller can be reached at



Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 36.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

Cold turkeyed off Effexor and Etrafon

“I continue to cite your book to all I can reach. I believe in you, and thank you so very much!”

I’ve read “PROZAC: PANACEA OR PANDORA?” with great interest after your first “Art Bell” show. I was fortunate to be able to tape the second show with B. Simpson.

Thanks to your efforts, I now have all the support I need to warn friends about the pitfalls of these drugs.

My story:

Long term depression. Working physical job at printing outfit. Duties included fork lift driving. I went to the doctor for some relief; he prescribed Effexor, and Etrafon-forte.

My most pronounced side effect became noticeable to my wife; the persona of pure apathy.

Her father was killed in a car accident, and at the funeral, I couldn’t cry- became ultra-spiritual about his role in “the afterlife.” He was a Salvation Army officer and musician in the string band. He was loved by everyone. I miss him, but I do feel his presence even today; four years after my cold turkey episode.

My personal hell came in the form of unwanted thoughts that, without a firm spiritual background, I might have acted upon- as some of the examples presented in your case studies.

I decided that the drugs were the cause of my thoughts, and just stopped taking them one day. Things got worse, and I resorted to a relapse to drinking after a four year sobriety.

My drinking took off to three day binges, and I assaulted my loving wife while in a blackout.

Iwas jailed, and went through treatment. Over a six year period I’ve had three such episodes, but remain free of the SSRI’s. I’ve found relief with Librium, but they tapered me off of it while in the last treatment. I now feel totally lost, and have all the physical problems of stress, including fibro myalgia. I am now self employed making furniture.

I just got on the net at home, and wish to thank you for your insight-full work exposing this problem. I continue to cite your book to all I can reach. I believe in you, and thank you so very much!

Yours in central MN

Jon Allen

My 10-year Nightmare Started with Prozac

“My mental and many physical disorders were caused primarily by the medication I was given by my doctors. I lost 10 years of my life.” Leslie Judd

Dear Ann Blake Tracy,

I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping
our daughter, Leslie. Without the information from your book and tape it is doubtful that we would have known how to get her off of her drugs.

She recently spoke in front of about 50 people, telling her story. Believe me, 1 1/2 years ago she would not have walked into a room with more that 5 people without experiencing serious anxiety.

I just read your newsletter about the woman’s daughter who had mutilated herself. Our Leslie did also and her doctor tried to convince us that she had already done that as a child. She hadn’t of course, not until she was prescribed all of the many drugs.

She has been on a roller coaster, but is doing so wonderful now. She is no longer taking anything and is outgoing, happy, active in her
children’s education and in her church.

Her husband frequently tells her that he feels like they are newly weds because he hadn’t seen her that way for almost 11 years.

Her children frequently tell her that they are so happy to have their mom back.

I would like to send you a transcript of her story that she told to the 50 people.

Please continue your campaign, we have told many people about your book and tape.

Marion Schiffgen

Leslie’s lecture she just gave:

My name is Leslie Judd and I appreciate the opportunity to tell you my story. I recently had a major life change. This came about because of information that was passed on to me by Young Living. It also came about because of encouragement from my family, friends and because of my faith.

Close to 11 years ago I experienced some serious depression. I now recognize that it was most likely post-partum depression, since it began following the birth of my third child. The condition was serious enough to cause me to be unable to function normally. After a visit to the doctor, I came home with a prescription for Prozac. This was the beginning of a 10year nightmare.

Almost immediately within the first few days I began having side effects such as hallucinations, hearing voices and no relief from the depression. I went back to the doctor, who now prescribed Paxil and Trazadone. Temporarily, it seemed to help with the depression, but I was a zombie all of the time. I felt like I had a hangover every morning. With Paxil, and all of the anti-depressants I took from then on, I had what is called a withdrawal or “wear-off effect”. Basically it is a withdrawal caused by the fact that my body soon adjusted to the dosage and then I would need a higher dosage. Symptoms of this effect were electrical sensations throughout my body, a shutters and whoosh sound with every move and a trailing when I moved or turned my head. This continued to increase until the doctor would change my medication and I would begin the cycle again.

I began fluctuating between depression and hypomania.

I started seeing a therapist, the therapist referred me to a psychiatrist. She put me on Zoloft next. Starting with a fairly low dose. My initial diagnosis began as Major Depressive Disorder, but soon became Dysthymia, or severe mood disorder. After trying different antidepressants, like Effexor, Serzone ( now off the market due to the fact that it causes liver failure) and Wellbutrin, all of which gave only temporary relief, she decided to try lithium because my symptoms had become like that of a bipolar patient. (So now the diagnosis had become Bipolar II disorder) My condition began to worsen.

At this time the doctor decided to experiment with different types of drugs such anti-seizure medications, such as Topamax, Depakote, Lamictal and Neurontin, as well as anti-psychotics, like Risperdal, Seroquel, and Zyprexa, causing me to have a multitude of other side-effects such as tremors, visual disturbances, anxiety and nervous problems for which I was prescribed benzodiazepines. Guess what, I was more depressed, I was more ill than I had ever been before in my life.

Due to an inherent back problem, I have always, even as a teen, had back pain. Now my back pain was getting worse. The medications decreased my pain tolerance. I developed Fybromyalga. I became obsessed with illness and with pain. I gained an excessive amount of weight. I also began behaving impulsively, lost interest in relationships and developed social phobias, such as agoraphobia (fear of public places, not wanting to leave home). I would panic in crowds, break out in a sweat, collapsing in terror.

Of course my children were suffering during this whole time because I was unable to provide nurturing. I could not feel joy or affection, and I became obsessed with death. I didn’t want anyone to touch me, cried sometimes uncontrollably but could never explain why. I felt hopeless. I felt like a burden to everybody. I spoke with slurred speech, couldn’t find words and had loss of memory. The tremors became so severe that I could no longer write a check or sign my name. This only led to more anti social behavior and self isolation.

Every month I went to my doctor, each time my medication and dosage were changed. There was a point during the ten years that I realized the medication was making me sick. Especially when I got lithium toxicity. My body was holding on to all fluid, I was bloated beyond recognition, my pupils were dilated (one more than the other), I started to get panicky and I had constant nausea and severe headaches along with other symptoms which alarmed my husband, and he called my doctor who told me to stop taking the medication immediately.

This stopped the toxicity from progressing, but the immediate withdrawal caused me to crash into an even deeper depression. More medication, without relief, more suicidal ideation. Alcohol binges.

During this whole time, my husband, family and friends stood by me. I didn’t know it, I didn’t care. I even expressed hostility towards those who tried to reach out to me with their concerns. I had no interests, no hobbies outside of the dark, morose, and depressing. My music, books, movies that I watched all dealt with depressing subjects, especially death. I had total dissociation (Feeling as though I were transparent or not feeling anything at all.) I slept most of my days, but had to take drugs to sleep at night too. I had nightmares if I dreamt at all. I was always jittery and hyper vigilant. I could not tolerate any light and often called myself a vampire.

I had to have throat surgery due to sleep apnea, anther side effect from the weight gain. And during the recuperation time we made a move to Chino Valley. Major stress, beyond what I was able to deal with and within a few weeks I was hospitalized for the first time for a breakdown. I was in the hospital for 10 days. It was a frightening experience. Locked doors, scary people and more medication changes.

When I was released and came home I was worse than ever. My eyes were dead. I shook uncontrollably, actually a side effect of anti seizure medications. I had to move my legs constantly. I was having hallucinations. I had absolutely no energy and no desire to do anything. I felt empty. My family rallied to get me back on my feet. Friends brought dinner to help out. But I really remember very little of this time period. It was as if I were seeing things from outside of my body.

I felt nothing. I just wanted to die. This is when it all started to climax. My symptoms escalated to the point that I had to be hospitalized again. During this whole time, my psychiatrist kept assuring me that it was just a matter of time until the right balance of medication was determined. It was trial and error. Ten years of trial and error! From my 25th year until I was 36years old. The years that I should have enjoyed most with my husband and young family.

An attempted suicide made for my second hospital stay, where I was humiliated in front of other patients by psychiatric techs, after which I made another attempt to end my life while I was still in the hospital. I lied to get out of the hospital, telling them I felt better. Eight days later I went home on new drugs.

Two weeks later I was back in for another eight days. I was so out of it. I felt like I was in a vacuum. I did things contrary to my nature, not even thinking of consequences. Nothing mattered. On leaving the hospital following my third stay, I was told that my diagnosis was Bipolar II, Panic and anxiety disorder, PTSD ( post traumatic stress disorder), and Borderline Personality Disorder with psychotic episodes. It seemed that I would just get worse and never well again.

Back home, my family searched for answers, looked for ways to help me. Good friends, Brian and Barb Kuckuck went to a Young Living convention in California. They returned with help. An CD and a book from Ann Blake Tracy.

The CD opened our eyes to the destruction of people’s lives these drugs cause. I today know I have a disposition towards depression, but I am not bipolar, I am not psychotic and I do not have a borderline personality disorder. My mental and many physical disorders were caused primarily by the medication I was given by my doctors. I lost 10 years of my life.

I followed Ann Blake Tracy’s guidelines for tapering off of the medication and I have been using the Cortistop and various supplements as well as essential oils, particularly Peace and Calming, Valor and Clarity, without which, I know it would have been much more difficult to break free from the drugs. The weaning process is a long one, it can last for up to two years, but it is worth it.

Today I have been completely free of my medications for 5 months. Although I still have some residual side-effects, I am living my life again and enjoying it. I thank Young Living and Ann Blake Tracy for making me aware, I thank my husband and children for their untiring love and patience, thanks to my family for their persistence and love in searching for something to help, I appreciate my friends, who were there for me even though I didn’t know it and I especially thank my faith for giving me the strength and courage to succeed.

Marion Schiffgen

Here is the link to the CD and the book can be found there as well:

Effexor Survivor

” I was taking Effexor into about my second week when I tried to commit suicide.”

My name is Amanda and I was taking Effexor into about my second week when I tried to commit suicide.

I firmly believe that this drug played a huge part in my doing so. I would never even entertain that idea under any depression that I had been through. I was the type of person who could not understand how a person could inflict pain upon themselves.

I have been tried on every drug that you can just about think of. Now I am labeled bipolar and take Seroquel at bedtime, and Wellbutrin in the day. High doses I might add, but the point I want to stick too is the fact that Effexor changed my whole personality my whole outlook on life and I didn’t even realize it. It was like I went crazy!

I believe that I have been used over and over as a guinea pig. I am 31 years old and I have been taking different meds since 1996. When tried on Effexor in 2001 I came very close to ending my life.

Antidepressants/SSRi’s + Ambiem

My good friend David killed himself after a few months, after he started taking ambiem along with some antidepressant not sure what one he was taking, well he had been having trouble sleeping and had a lot on pain, he went to a friends house on July 2nd and took that person’s gun went to the garage put the gun to his forehead and pulled the trigger

he left a note that said ……. sorry I took your Gun—do not give life support.

I was shocked when his son called me with the bad news, David was real careful about taking good care of himself ,was a happy person that would never take his own life, the drugs caused him to what what he did, those of us that knew him are very sad, I wanted to tell His story——–he was MY Friend…………………….


WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants we always recommend that you also give reference to the CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which we have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

The FDA also now warns that any abrupt change in dose of an antidepressant can produce suicide, hostility or psychosis. And these reactions can either come on very rapidly or even be delayed for months depending upon the adverse effects upon sleep patterns when the withdrawal is rapid! You can find the CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here:

For the first time I know I am not nuts!

“I’ve been on Zoloft for about a year and a half and I’ve hated every day of it.”

I’ve been reading through the posts on this site and thanking God that I really am not crazy!

I’ve been on Zoloft for about a year and a half and I’ve hated every day of it. The days I hate the most are when I can’t afford to refill it. I’ve told my doctor several times to please get me OFF THIS! When I can’t afford it I have to stop abruptly. THAT IS HELL!

My face goes numb. Then I my heart starts to skip so bad I can’t stop coughing. Sometimes it even throws me into a full fledged asthma attack even worse sometimes MAJOR panic attacks!

I just want to know how to stop. I just need to get off it. I am not glad that I am not the only who has had this happen but at the same time it’s bitter sweet because at least I am not alone.

If anyone has suggestions PLEASE email me.



My Accutane nightmare – Accutane

Danielle Buck-brooks

My Accutane nightmare I wish that I could turn back the clock ten years to the day I was prescribed Accutane for my adult acne. I would have run screaming had I known that it would change my life forever. I believe that its use caused the debilitating illnesses that today make my life a living hell. I suffer with Fibromyalgia, IBS, and chronic fatigue syndrome along with an addiction to Tramadol, a supposedly non- addictive drug. The withdrawals from this drug were never mentioned which include horrible nausea, insomnia and terrible depression. I should mention that my dermatologist never explained that my gut would be stripped of all bacteria some of which is VITAL to good health. It ruined my plans, my dreams,  my life.

The antidepressants Zoloft and Wellbutrin killed my son, Tommy

The antidepressants Zoloft and Wellbutrin killed my son, Tommy

Elaine Billings

September 8, 2011 a Thursday

I looked out my dining room window, and I watched my son mowing his lawn. I smiled to myself, and thought I am going to call Tommy later, and invite him and his family to dinner tomorrow, Friday. I couldn’t have foreseen, that it would be the last time I would see my son alive!

My husband had gone downtown to run some errands. When he came home he said, ”there’s a lot going on downtown today.” I replied, ”really what’s going on.” He said, ”while I was in the drug store, I overheard someone saying that a man committed suicide in our town.” I said, ”oh no, I hope it isn’t anyone we know!” A few minutes later, my life ceased, and I plummeted into HELL!

My daughter in-law walked into my house, she was crying. I thought something had happened to her mother because they were out together and her mom had been sick.

I went to her and said, ”has something happened to your mom?”

She shook her head no. I look into her eyes and said, ”Tommy?”

In the few seconds before she told me what happened, I thought, oh Tommy’s been in a car accident, but he will be okay. I will take care of him! That’s what moms do, when their children are sick, (or) get in a car accident. We get them better!

That’s not what she told me. Instead she said something no mother ever wants to hear in her life, this I know. She said, ”Tommy committed suicide!”

I screamed, WHAT?! She repeated it, ”Tommy committed suicide!”

I threw my glasses off and fell to the floor. I could hear myself screaming and screaming, and I could not stop. “NO! NO! Please GOD, NO! Oh help me, help me my son! He can’t be DEAD!”

I could hear Bill’s voice as he kept saying over and over, ”I can’t believe it!” ”I can’t believe it!”

I couldn’t get up, I couldn’t stop screaming “NO! not my son!God help me!  Give me back my son!”

Why did Tina tell me my son committed suicide? What a horrible thing to tell a mother! I must be dead! That’s it, I am dead and in HELL! But, I kept on screaming, begging, pleading, please this is a mistake! My son would NEVER KILL HIMSELF! NEVER! He was a happy man, a very happy man. Happy people do not commit suicide.

People are in my house, I can hear muffled conversations, a man bent down and was checking me over, I said, ”Please help, please my son! Please help me, I want my son!

” Then I was in an ambulance, this young woman was checking me over, and I said, ”Tina told me my son committed suicide!” Please dear God, help me get my son back, this can’t be happening!  TOMMY WOULD NEVER COMMIT SUICIDE! I promise I’ll be good, I will do anything! I will do anything anybody asks me, just please I need my son!”

Then I was in the emergency room, lying in a bed.  A doctor walked in and said, ”What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? My son committed SUICIDE! He is DEAD! That’s what’s wrong with me!”

He gave me an injection and a few minutes later I felt calm. I felt like I was having some kind of out of body experience, like a nightmare. That’s it, I am having a nightmare. I need to wake up!

Bill was standing next to me, and I said, ”Dear God, Bill I have had the worst nightmare.  Tommy was dead!” But, he looked at me with such sorrow and said, ”Elaine, Tommy is dead.”

I was numb, I wanted to die.

A few nights later, I was in my bedroom sitting on my bed when my son, Tommy, came to me. He said, ”Mom help me! I didn’t mean to do it!”

I looked up at my ceiling and said, ”Tommy, I can’t help you! You are already dead!”

I don’t know why I did this, but the next morning I called my daughter in-law and asked her if Tommy was on any medications, and she said, “Yes, he was on Zoloft and Wellbutrin.”

Then at some point, I got on my computer and started searching these drugs to see if they had anything to do with Tommy’s suicide. What I found out, not only stunned me, but made me literally sick and made me madder than hell! I found the information to prove without doubt that these two drugs caused my son’s DEATH!

The things I read and found out about these drugs, shook me to my core. The untold numbers of deaths! The destruction! The toll to be paid for human life, for all the Lies! Deception! Hidden unfavorable test results! Ghost writing! Money being paid out to university professors who sign their names to favorable, manipulated studies! And no one accountable for what Pharmaceutical studies are done and the results! Member’s of the FDA who have a vested an interest in the drug business! Law suits for wrongful deaths getting settled out of court and gag orders being put in place to insure silence and continued sales! Highly paid drug representatives who tout the “latest and greatest ” (most profitable) antidepressant and antipsychotic drugs. The more  these drugs are prescribed, the bigger drug reps’ bonuses are.And the big pharmaceutical companies who are the paying sponsors of  TV network ads touting these drugs, along with the print media! Investors of the Pharmaceutical companies and board members who all have a vested interest in making more MONEY! The Black Box Warnings on these drugs about increased risk of suicide! It is all right there to read!

“May cause; SUICIDAL IDEATION, PSYCHOSIS, HALLUCINATIONS, DEPERSONALIZATION, HOSTILITY, IMPULSIVITY,” and more. MONEY to be had, to keep the lies and omissions, kept quiet….the big secrets kept from the consumers! It really is the bottom line, MONEY! Big Pharma, is not trying to make people well, they are trying to make people sick! If some die, well that’s just collateral damage! Yes, my son was nothing more to them than COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!

My son had anxiety – a label given to him by some doctor who probably saw him once or twice. How did he come up with that diagnoses? Well it’s all right there in the DSM, the psychiatric bible! A committee gets together and discusses these symptoms, then they group them and then give them a  label for what they call a disorder or a diagnoses. This way insurance companies will pay the bill making  patients and Big Pharma very happy!

Funny, but Pharmaceutical companies and scientific evidence suggest that depression and some kinds of anxiety disorders “MAY” caused by a ”CHEMICAL IMBALANCE” in the brain, yet, there is no blood test, x-rays, MRI, Cat Scan that can show this to be true. And a psychiatrist can’t predict what adverse side effects you might experience on the medication because, not one of them knows how their drugs work! Great!  They make dangerous drugs that change our natural brain functions and they don’t have a clue how they work!

HOMICIDE and SUICIDE are the ultimate sacrifices these drugs produce! The SIDE EFFECTS???!!!! But, there’s more to these drugs than meets the eye – damage done to people’s physical, mental, and spiritual bodies is far reaching. It can literally take years to heal the body and the brain from the use of these drugs. I now know many wonderful, intelligent, strong, truth tellers who have been damaged from them. These drugs are destructive, and life altering for many, many people all over the world. If side effects are not enough, you then have to go through withdrawals from them! This can be like walking through hell and goes on for years!

So why do people go on them and stay on them? Because they cannot get off or do not know how to safely get off. And because we want to believe our doctors would never put us on a drug that could harm and KILL. When a psychiatrist, doctor, PA, or nurse tells their patients (victims) “you are defective, you have a mental illness/disorder, and you are never going to get better” and  “you need to stay on these drugs for the rest of your life”…. They are all LIES!!

I am not a doctor, but my advice would be to heed the BLACK BOX WARNINGS of Suicidal Ideation, Hostility, Impulsivity, Akathsia, Mania, Panic Attacks, Insomnia, Depersonalization, Heart Attacks, Sudden Death and more! The warnings are there as a warning for good reason. Don’t be fooled by the age limit, “25 and younger” should not take them because of increased risk of suicide? My son was 42 years old! These drugs have no way of determining your age before producing reactions!

Tommy, was a husband, father, son, brother, nephew, cousin, and had many, many friends. We all loved Tommy, and he is gone. He committed suicide! Not because he was depressed. He had never been suicidal in his life. He told his wife, he would never do that to her or his children. But, after restarting his dose of Zoloft and Wellbutrin, because no one warned him of the dangers of going on and off these drugs abruptly, instead of driving to his daughter’s friends house, to bring her back to play, my son drove his car to the middle of town, he drove to a big parking lot. There he got his police revolver from the trunk of the car, got back into the driver’s seat, put that gun to his head and pulled the trigger!!! I didn’t get to see my son, to say my goodbyes, or “I love you.” The family’s decision was for me not to remember him the way he looked after a bullet ripped through his head! But, I did read the autopsy report, because I wanted to stand witness to what Pfizer and GSK and their drugs did to my son. It was devastating!!

Me? Maybe you are wondering how I am? … I will never be the wife, mother, woman I was before my son died. A piece of me died that day also. I am only left with pictures and memories.

His sisters lost their big brother.

Tommy’s dad and step dad lost their son.

Tina lost the husband she was suppose to grow old with by becoming a widow in her thirties!

His children are now fatherless. There will be no more playing catch in the back yard. There will be no more helping with school work, or watching all their accomplishments, big as well as small. My son will not be here to see his children graduate from high school, or college. He will not be here to walk his daughter down the isle on her wedding day, or witness his son’s marriage. He will never be able to bounce his grandchildren on his knee, and his grandchildren will only have stories of the grandfather they never had the opportunity to get to know and learn to love.

So much was taken from this family on the day that Zoloft and Wellbutrin murdered my son.

RIP TOMMY…. and always know that mommy loves you bigger than the whole world!

Still 18 months later, from time to time, I beg GOD again to give me back my son!!

When I wrote to Ann Blake Tracy and told her a little bit about what happen to Tommy, this is what she told me, “The impulsiveness of the suicide was clear–long attributed to elevated serotonin. The reason your son went back on these meds was the withdrawal hit it’s height right about that time, and he likely thought he was going crazy. Tragically when you go back on in the middle of the withdrawal it can be much worse.”

Tommy came to me and said, ”Mom help me, I didn’t mean to do it!” To my son I now say, “I know and understand that now my beloved son, and I will do all I can to help stop the insanity of these dangerous drugs!”

WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants we always recommend that you also give reference to the CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which we have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

The FDA also now warns that any abrupt change in dose of an antidepressant can produce suicide, hostility or psychosis. And these reactions can either come on very rapidly or even be delayed for months depending upon the adverse effects upon sleep patterns when the withdrawal is rapid! You can find the CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here:

Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,
International Coalition for Drug Awareness &
Author: Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”