PROZAC: Suicide Attempt: Teen: New York

Paragraph three reads:  “His father was an abusive heroin
addict, whose crazy, rebellious streak he emulated. A wild kid who was beaten by
his stepfather and uncle, Cage got into drugs and was committed by his mom to a
psychiatric hospital as a teen. There, he was among the first test
cases for
Prozac, and he attempted suicide with
shoelaces
and the tape from a
Big Daddy Kane cassette. Such trials are
recounted throughout his catalog, and his persona­a decadent, nihilistic,
drug-addled MC­was cultivated in his single “Agent Orange” and 2002 debut,
Movies for the Blind.”

http://www.dallasobserver.com/2009-11-26/music/rapper-cage-takes-off-in-a-new-direction-whether-anyone-follows-or-not/

Rapper Cage Takes Off in a New Direction, Whether Anyone Follows or
Not

By Chris
Parker

Published on November 25, 2009 at 1:52pm

Details:

Cage performs with Less Than Jake on Wednesday, December 9, at the
Granada Theater.

Just because an artist evolves doesn’t mean his
fans will. So, while Chris
Palko
, aka Cage, may have experienced a personal epiphany that’s taken his
music in a new direction, he doesn’t blame his fans for not wanting to come
along for the ride.

See, the rapper’s latest, Depart From Me, is
hardly a rap album at all. Rife with indie-tronic synth and raging guitars
(courtesy of ex-

Hatebreed guitarist Sean
Martin
), it follows up on the direction hinted at by his Darryl
Palumbo
2005 collaboration, “Shoot Frank,” off his second album, Hell’s
Winter
. Only, this time, there are hardly any beats at all. There’s also a
more positive tone­though only slightly more positive­which is
equally bewildering given the darkness Cage sings about.

His father was
an abusive heroin addict, whose crazy, rebellious streak he emulated. A wild kid
who was beaten by his stepfather and uncle, Cage got into drugs and was
committed by his mom to a psychiatric hospital as a teen. There, he was among
the first test cases for Prozac,
and he attempted suicide with shoelaces and the tape from a Big
Daddy Kane
cassette. Such trials are recounted throughout his catalog, and
his persona­a decadent, nihilistic, drug-addled MC­was cultivated in his
single “Agent Orange” and 2002 debut, Movies for the Blind.

He
dropped the drugs and degrading sexual undertone on Hell’s Winter, but
his latest even attempts to short-circuit some of the self-hate and angst. It’s
expressed on tracks like the punky “Fat Kids Need an Anthem,” which keenly
dissects his former food issues, and “Captain Bumout,” which repudiates his old
image, suggesting “there’s more than being in a club, getting drunk, one of us
throwing up and waking up like we’re in love.” One catalyst for both the change
in sound and expression is his friend and protégé Camu Tao, who died of cancer
last year.

“After he passed away, my entire world fell apart,” Cage says.
“I had never been so wounded in my whole life. I had been through so much. I
felt like in life, as a little kid, gritting your teeth and clutching your
fists, you can take anything, but then the grown man just is
broken.”

But, really, the change began several years ago, when Cage and
his tour mates watched videos of their performances and became dissatisfied with
the stale elements of typical hip-hop.

“We saw ourselves walking back and
forth on the videotape, trying to say ho,” Cage recalls. “After a while, you get
tired of doing the same thing over and over. And, then, it’s either join in on
the reindeer games or start your own.”

They watched videos of Black
Flag
and Iggy
Pop
, trying to adopt rock mannerisms. The change in music comes out of the
same impulse, as Depart From Me represents an attempt to bring the sound
in line with the stage show. To that end, Hatebreed’s Martin joins Cage and his
DJ on tour, playing guitar and keyboard parts. And, as such, even old songs are
getting a facelift.

Meanwhile, Cage’s spirit has already gotten one.
Watching his friend die of cancer made his bleak attitude hard to
sustain.

“I couldn’t come in and say, ‘Hey, listen to my songs. I know
you’re dying, but listen to my songs about wanting to die,'” he says. “I didn’t
know what to do, so I started making songs that were a little
happier.”

While he understands his fans’ frustration with the new

direction, he couldn’t care less about pissy blog rants or reviews.

“When
I was 16 years old, I was selling crack and was a buck-fifty, in people’s faces
with box cutters. I wasn’t sitting on the Internet, telling people they’re
faggots because I don’t like their music,” Cage says. “People don’t get it. The
record’s called Depart From Me, dude. You don’t get
it?”

 1,385 total views

ANTIDEPRESSANTS: Man Found Not Guilty of Killing Wife While Asleep: England

Paragraphs 9 & 10 read:  “Swansea Crown Court heard
Mr. Thomas regularly took anti-depressant drugs which made him
impotent, and he had stopped doing so before the holiday as the
couple, who slept in separate bedrooms at home, wanted to be “intimate”.

Medical experts said the sudden withdrawal of
the drugs could have led to him having very vivid dreams.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/briton-who-strangled-wife-in-his-sleep-walks-free/article1371102/

Briton who strangled wife in his sleep walks free

Prosecution accepts argument that Brian Thomas, 59, suffered sleep
disorder and had no control over his body during attack.

London ­
Reuters Published on Friday, Nov. 20, 2009 9:21AM EST Last updated on Friday,
Nov. 20, 2009 1:50PM EST

A Briton who strangled his wife during a
nightmare because he believed he was attacking an intruder, walked free from
court on Friday after prosecutors withdrew their case against him.

Brian
Thomas, 59, of Neath in South Wales, killed his wife Christine, 57, while they
were on holiday in July last year.

Prosecutors had accepted that Thomas
had a sleep disorder and so had no control over his body when he attacked his

wife of 40 years while they were both asleep.

“I must emphasize that the
circumstances of this case are almost unique in the UK and there have been fewer
than 50 instances recorded worldwide,” said Iwan Jenkins, Chief Crown Prosecutor
for Dyfed Powys.

Mr. Thomas admitted being responsible but instead of

charging him with murder or manslaughter, prosecutors had sought a special
verdict of not guilty by reason of insanity, the Press Association reported.

“The consequences of such a finding would have meant Mr. Thomas’s
detention in a psychiatric hospital, but it is now clear that the psychiatrists
feel that that would serve no useful purpose,” Mr. Jenkins said.

Swansea
Crown Court heard Mr. Thomas regularly took anti-depressant drugs which made him
impotent, and he had stopped doing so before the holiday as the couple, who
slept in separate bedrooms at home, wanted to be “intimate”.

Medical
experts said the sudden withdrawal of the drugs could have led to him having
very vivid dreams.

The court was told the couple had been asleep in
their camper van in a pub car park when they were disturbed by youths in cars
performing wheel spins and so moved elsewhere.

However, Mr. Thomas then
had a dream one of the youths had broken into the van and later woke to find
himself next to his wife‘s body, at which point he called the police.

High Court Judge Justice Davis told Mr. Thomas, who had been in custody
since January, that in the eyes of the law he bore no responsibility for what he
had done and said he was a “decent man and devoted husband”.

Mr.
Thomas’s brother Raymond Thomas said the death and court case had been very
distressing.

“They were a loving couple and always like that together,”
he said. “He has always been a loving husband and a family man. This was a
tragic, tragic episode and we are all very emotional.”

 1,652 total views

ANTIDEPRESSANT WITHDRAWAL: Man Found Not Guilty of Killing Wife While Asleep

Paragraphs 9 & 10 read:  “Swansea Crown Court heard
Mr. Thomas regularly took anti-depressant drugs which made him
impotent, and he had stopped doing so before the holiday as the
couple, who slept in separate bedrooms at home, wanted to be “intimate”.

Medical experts said the sudden withdrawal of

the drugs could have led to him having very vivid dreams.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/briton-who-strangled-wife-in-his-sleep-walks-free/article1371102/

Briton who strangled wife in his sleep walks free

Prosecution accepts argument that Brian Thomas, 59, suffered sleep
disorder and had no control over his body during attack.

London ­
Reuters Published on Friday, Nov. 20, 2009 9:21AM EST Last updated on Friday,
Nov. 20, 2009 1:50PM EST

A Briton who strangled his wife during a
nightmare because he believed he was attacking an intruder, walked free from
court on Friday after prosecutors withdrew their case against him.

Brian
Thomas, 59, of Neath in South Wales, killed his wife Christine, 57, while they
were on holiday in July last year.

Prosecutors had accepted that Thomas
had a sleep disorder and so had no control over his body when he attacked his

wife of 40 years while they were both asleep.

“I must emphasize that the
circumstances of this case are almost unique in the UK and there have been fewer
than 50 instances recorded worldwide,” said Iwan Jenkins, Chief Crown Prosecutor
for Dyfed Powys.

Mr. Thomas admitted being responsible but instead of

charging him with murder or manslaughter, prosecutors had sought a special
verdict of not guilty by reason of insanity, the Press Association reported.

“The consequences of such a finding would have meant Mr. Thomas’s
detention in a psychiatric hospital, but it is now clear that the psychiatrists
feel that that would serve no useful purpose,” Mr. Jenkins said.

Swansea
Crown Court heard Mr. Thomas regularly took anti-depressant drugs which made him
impotent, and he had stopped doing so before the holiday as the couple, who
slept in separate bedrooms at home, wanted to be “intimate”.

Medical
experts said the sudden withdrawal of the drugs could have led to him having
very vivid dreams.

The court was told the couple had been asleep in
their camper van in a pub car park when they were disturbed by youths in cars
performing wheel spins and so moved elsewhere.

However, Mr. Thomas then
had a dream one of the youths had broken into the van and later woke to find
himself next to his wife‘s body, at which point he called the police.

High Court Judge Justice Davis told Mr. Thomas, who had been in custody
since January, that in the eyes of the law he bore no responsibility for what he
had done and said he was a “decent man and devoted husband”.

Mr.
Thomas’s brother Raymond Thomas said the death and court case had been very
distressing.

“They were a loving couple and always like that together,”
he said. “He has always been a loving husband and a family man. This was a
tragic, tragic episode and we are all very emotional.”

 2,155 total views

ANTIDEPRESSANT: Murder: Son KIlls Father: Wounds Mother: Maine

Paragraphs 16 & 17 read:  “Sandra Goodrich confirmed
that her son had been brought to a psychiatric hospital and that he recently was injected with the antidepressant Trazodone
[Desyrel],
which is used to treat depression and anxiety disorders.”

Perley Goodrich Jr. didn’t want to take the
medication
, Sandra said, saying that  ‘it’s dangerous’

and made him feel  ‘violent.‘ Still, Sandra said the medication
could not have been what apparently drove her son over the edge.

http://kennebecjournal.mainetoday.com/news/local/7042860.html

Newport: Sandra Goodrich stood outside her home on Rutland Road on Friday
afternoon, surrounded by her daughter and two good friends who traveled more
than 1,000 miles to be with her.

They talked. They hugged. They laughed.

Considering what had happened inside her house Monday night — as
evidenced by the large bruise on her chin and neck — Goodrich’s mood might seem
surprising. The moments of lightness and fellowship are, and will be, fleeting,
she admits. Goodrich doesn’t know what to do now except live her life, one day
at a time.

“I’m going to do everything I can to get better,” she said in
an interview. “Physically, I’ll bounce back; but emotionally, it will take a
while.”

It only took a few minutes Monday night for the life she knew to
unravel.

Her 45-year-old son, Perley Goodrich Jr., is accused of
severely beating her with his fists and a handgun, then shooting his father,
Perley Goodrich Sr., killing him.

Sandra said she’s grateful for the aid
of many people: for her husband, especially, who “saved my life.”

After
Perley Jr. suddenly began attacking her and trying to bind her hands with duct
tape, Perley Sr. opened the bedroom door and drew his son toward him instead.
Perley Jr. then went into the bedroom and fatally shot his father, police say.

“He would have killed us both,” Sandra Goodrich said.

Sandra
fled to a neighbor’s house and they called police, setting off a three-day
manhunt for Perley Goodrich Jr. that ended early Friday morning.

As she
reflected Friday on what happened, Sandra Goodrich couldn’t yet make sense of
why her son would suddenly snap.

But the seeds were there, she said:
“It’s been going on for years.”

The younger Goodrich, Sandra said,
suffers from bipolar disorder, also known as manic depressive disorder, a
psychiatric diagnosis that typically involves drastic mood swings.

According to a police affidavit that outlines the charges against Perley
Goodrich Jr., Sandra “did not mention what had triggered the incident” but said
her son “was crazy and that she had taken him to the hospital three times this
week and that they had given him a new medication.”

They had recently
discussed bringing him to Acadia Hospital of Bangor, which specializes in mental
health treatment, according to the affidavit.

Sandra Goodrich confirmed
that her son had been brought to a psychiatric hospital and that he recently was
injected with the antidepressant Trazodone, which is used to treat depression
and anxiety disorders.

Perley Goodrich Jr. didn’t want to take the
medication, Sandra said, saying that “it’s dangerous” and made him feel
“violent.” Still, Sandra said the medication could not have been what apparently
drove her son over the edge.

“It’s been a long, sad story for many
years,” Sandra Goodrich said. “I told (Perley Jr.) he was dangerous and he would
hurt somebody.”

According to court records, Perley Jr. was convicted on
a charge of criminal mischief in 2001; police at the time said he had threatened
his brother, Kenneth, with a large knife.

Sandra Goodrich said she is
perhaps most sad that the deadly incident might have been avoided.

She’s
grateful for everyone involved — police who responded and searched, neighbors,
family, friends for their support, the town of Newport, and her employer,
Wal-Mart, for giving her time off to recuperate.

Sandra and her family
and friends said they want to plan a public vigil for Perley Sr., for which
details haven’t been set.

Scott Monroe — 861-9253

smonroe@centralmaine.com

 1,653 total views

ANTIDEPRESSANTS: 77 Year Old Man Commits Suicide: England

NOTE FROM Ann Blake-Tracy: Another example of just how truly amazing these antidepressants are! In growing up I do not recall ever hearing of someone this age committing suicide, much less a more violent suicide as we see with SSRI antidepressants! Now we not only have suicides and violent ones, but we have horribly violent murder/suicides in this age group! It is all so very sickening!!
Second paragraph reads:  “Bernard Jeenes, 77, was found dead in his kitchen, in Cayman Close, Popley, Basingstoke, on June 7, after taking an overdose of anti-depressants and hanging himself.”

http://www.basingstokegazette.co.uk/news/4558306.Suicidal_man__let_down__by_system/

Suicidal man ‘let down’ by system

12:30pm Friday 21st August 2009

#show Comments (0) Have your say »

A GRIEVING son said his father should have been cared for at a Basingstoke psychiatric hospital to stop him from killing himself.

Bernard Jeenes, 77, was found dead in his kitchen, in Cayman Close, Popley, Basingstoke, on June 7, after taking an overdose of anti-depressants and hanging himself.

His son Mark, who found his body, told an inquest into his death that his father had begged to be admitted to the mental health unit at Parklands Hospital after a suicide attempt the week before he died.

Now he is calling for changes. Mr Jeenes, a 33-year-old decorator from Barbel Avenue, in Riverdene, told the inquest at Alton magistrates court: “I feel like my father has been let down and if he got the help he wanted he would still be here today.”

He said a week before he died, his father was admitted to Basingstoke hospital after taking an overdose of anti-depressants. He then asked to be transferred to neighbouring Parklands psychiatric hospital.

He told the coroner: “That should have got alarm bells ringing, but the doctor just said he would be better off at home. My father said he wanted to kill himself.”

He said his father had emerged “a new man” after a spell at Parklands in 2002.

However, the dead man’s psychiatric nurse, Chris Dale, told the inquest Mr Jeenes had been referred by a GP after he had phoned Parklands directly.

He said: “I saw him several times before his death and he didn’t tell me about wanting to go to Parklands. He mentioned he had some suicidal thoughts but that he had no plan or intent to take his life. He told me he wanted to avoid Parklands, and do things on his own.

“The last time I saw him, he was more positive.”

Recording a verdict of suicide, North East Hampshire coroner, Andrew Bradley, said: “Clearly what Mr Jeenes was sharing with his son was different from what he was sharing with Chris Dale.

“The concerns were there, the bells were ringing but the assessment pushed him out the Basingstoke hospital door.”

After the inquest, a spokesman for Hampshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust, which runs Parklands Hospital, said staff who knew him had been deeply saddened by the death of Mr Jeenes.

An initial review into the circumstances had concluded that the right clinical decisions were made.

The spokesman added: “A further more detailed review is being carried out. It is important to note that the coroner, in full possession of all the facts, did not make any recommendations for the trust to implement.”

He said if a clinician wanted a patient admitted, a bed would be found.

Mr Jeenes’ story has come to light just weeks after The Gazette reported the inquest of Terry Thomas, aged 54, of Kenilworth Road, Winklebury, who died after jumping from a bridge on Ringway West A340 on April 1.

His widow Jane told an inquest he had been turned away from Parklands Hospital the day before his death, despite a failed suicide attempt.

Following that story, Gazette reader Hailey Newton Roast, aged 35, of Kings Furlong Centre, off Wessex Close, Basingstoke, contacted the newsdesk to speak of her experience.

She said: “I have manic depression and have tried to commit suicide a few times. Each time I was told I didn’t meet the criteria to be admitted to Parklands.

“The mental health services here are terrible and I’ve written several times to complain.”

 1,846 total views

Zoloft SSRI Antidepressant Destroyed my Life

It’s now August of 2009, just past a year after being discharged from the psychiatric hospital.  I’ve been off Zoloft since March 2009 and am finally feeling like a human being again.  Fortunately, I don’t seem to have any neurological damage, memory impairment, concentration troubles or other lasting symptoms.

I’m 48 years old and my introduction to Zoloft began when I was 34. I’ve since learned that the symptoms of fatigue and difficulty sleeping and concentrating that I was having at that time were due to over-work and adrenal exhaustion. That doctor had me fill out a questionnaire and then spent maybe 10 minutes with me before giving me free samples of Zoloft.   Had I known then, what I know now?… And I must forgive the past and not dwell on it in order to heal.

In June of 2008, my nutritionist who was treating me with amino acid therapy took me off Zoloft abruptly.  This caused me to go into a manic state, which I had never experienced before.  It also brought up a lot of anger.  After about a ten days, my wife and I figured out it was the discontinuation of Zoloft that was causing all these problems, so I went back on it.

Because of all my weird behavior, I had left the house and was staying at a hotel.  My wife got my sister involved and she stayed with me for a couple of days but didn’t bring along her bi-polar medications.  I remember distinctly the night of July 13th:  I slept from about 9pm to 5am, went for a work out and did my meditation.  I was definitely stabilizing.

Then my sister took me into town, my wife and I had another fight and, in my anger and frustration, I broke the rear view mirror off my sister’s car.  This caused her to freak out.  We had picked up her meds and agreed to go back to the hotel and take a nap.  I later learned that she had already called the police.

When we arrived at the hotel, the cops came to my door (hands on their holstered guns) and ordered me out of the car.  They hand cuffed me, searched me and put me in the squad car.  Then, as I later learned, my sister and wife had a discussion about “wether or not to tell the police that I had threatened her.”  My sister told the police a lie, that I had threatened her with a gun and I was hauled off to the ER where I was doped up with an injection.

Later I was taken to the psychiatric hospital where I was asked to sign a bunch of forms and “releases.”  How absurd!  I was only semi-consicouss at the time.

At the hospital I was taken off the Zoloft and diagnosed as bi-polar.  Of course, this through me into another withdrawal episode and made me manic and aggressive again.

I want to point out that I have no history of violence, have never been in any sort of brawl, have never been arrested, have never before been put in handcuffs, no DUI tickets and even a clean driving record.

The hospital changed my drugs every few days.  Zyprexa, Lithium, Depakote, Abilify, etc.  After 20 days, I was discharged. The insurance and family money was expended, so I was well, right?

Far from it:  My wife filed for divorce.  I lost access to my home, which was also my office.  She cleaned out the company bank account, etc.

Eventually, I lost pretty much everything and got saddled with all our debt and received none of the assets due to a waiver of “appearance” I signed 3 days out of the hospital.  We had agreed on a negotiated, one lawyer divorce, but I ended up getting totally screwed.

Over the past 12 months, I’ve lived in 5 states.  I’ve had a couple of “room and board” jobs and stayed with friends.  Fortunately, my mother has been able to give me some financial support, so I haven’t been without the basic necessities of life.  Through a friend, I found Ann Blake-Tracy and she helped me understand what happened to me and gave me phone support while I finished the detox from the Zoloft these past few months.

Now, I’m well enough that I’m looking for  a job again so I can restart my life.

I’m certainly not bipolar.  What a bunch of total bullshit.  All I’m taking right now is 0.5 mg of Klonopin (Clonazepam) twice a day to help with anxiety and sleep.

I used to have a pretty normal life.  I made a six figure income.  My wife (18 years of marriage) didn’t have to work. We had a nice house and the swimming pool I had wanted since I was a child.  Now, all that’s gone.  All because of a stupid little pill and all the people that don’t know what the hell their doing with all these powerful drugs.

During the 13 years I was on SSRI Antidepressants, I saw several different psychiatrists and doctors.  They experimented on me with many different drugs: Effexor, Celexa, Abilify, Alprazolam, Clonazepam (Klonopin), Depakote, Lunesta, Trazodone, Xanax, Zyprexa and of course Zoloft (Sertraline).

Of all the drugs, Lamictal was the worst.  Once the doctor increased the dose from 50 mg a day to 200 mg a day (I’ve since found out that is NOT an increase in accordance with the manufacturers instructions) I had horrible, disgusting nightmares every single night and became highly suicidal.  This happened in October of 2008, and freaked me out so much that I went back on Zoloft and some other drugs so that I could get my sleep.

During all these crazy times, I have survived because of my spiritual faith, the generosity of my mother and some good friends and Divine Grace.  Also, because of the various nutritionists I’ve had over the years, I’ve learned how to eat well and take the right supplements.  Cenitol by metagenics is magnesium supplement that has been especially helpful with relaxing me and helping me sleep.  I order that online at:  http://www.janethumphrey.meta-ehealth.com.

Lastly, I would like to mention that none of these doctors I saw gave me any sort of what I would call informed consent.  I was never informed about all the adverse reactions and side-effects that I’ve now learned were well known back then.  None of the doctors explained that, according to their view of brain chemical imbalance, I would need to stay on these SSRI Antidepressants for the rest of my life.  None of the doctors EVER explained discontinuation syndrome etc, etc, etc.

These drugs manufactures and the doctors that push these drugs are all involved in a horrible scam, the tragic consequences of which yet to become fully manifest.

My intense gratitude to Ann Blake-Tracy and the good work she is doing!

 4,886 total views

What Happened to Caitlin

“…it is our hope that other parents can learn from our tragedy, and other children can be saved.”

 

Here’s the story– (As seen, unfortunately, with hindsight, through sadder, wiser eyes.) We believe Caitlin had a seizure disorder that occurred at night, interfering with her REM sleep. This, we believe, led to symptoms that included audio and visual hallucinations, depression and talk of suicide, and eventually landed her in Shoal Creek Psychiatric Hospital. (Understandable symptoms, given the fact that she had not been sleeping very much over the past several months. If you can’t dream while sleeping at night, your brain will have to do it when you’re awake, and a child, not understanding this, may think they are going crazy and become depressed.)

We told her hospital psychiatrist, during her first stay at Shoal Creek, that we suspected a seizure/sleep disorder and asked for an EEG, and perhaps observation in a sleep disorder clinic. We also explained that Caitlin’s Uncle had childhood epilepsy, and that Caitlin had complained of momentary blackouts 3 years ago when she was 9, and that the EEG done at that time showed a slight arrhythmia, but not pronounced enough to risk the side effects of medication.

At first, he seemed to agree that this could be the underlying problem and ordered the short, 45-min. scan, also finding a slight arrhythmia, similar to the one she had 3 years before. But at our 2nd staffing, during her 2nd stay in the hospital, when we brought up our sleep disorder theory again, her psychiatrist literally laughed it off, saying that the diagnosis was clinical depression, and all things considered, the best treatment was the four drugs she was on, Zoloft, Trazedone, Depacote and Zyprexa, and his main concern was getting the right concentrations in her blood. (Please note, Caitlin had just turned 12-years old, and in France, Pfizer warns to NEVER give Zoloft to anyone under 15.)

The next morning, I caught him early at the hospital making his rounds, and demanded he give her the long EEG scan, as the short one can easily miss seizure activity. He told me that the long one was approved for outpatients only, not inpatients, and if we insisted, our insurance would probably not cover it. (In retrospect, it seems that her diagnosis and treatment was based more on what the HMO would pay for, than what the doctors really believed was best.) So we got an appointment, on our own, with a sleep disorder clinic. Jan. 15th. 10 days too late. (Caitlin committed suicide on Jan. 5.)

At this point, it is important to know that Caitlin was given anti-depressants before she was hospitalized. The first doctor we took her to see was our family physician, while we were waiting and waiting for an appointment to see a psychiatrist that was covered by our HMO. This was right after we became aware of her symptoms. (The school counselor called and hesitantly informed us – she thought she was violating confidentiality (wrong!) – that Caitlin was talking about hurting herself and hearing voices.) Our family doctor, a general practitioner, immediately put her on Paxil and Restoril. After 4 days, she still couldn’t sleep at night, but was falling asleep during the day, and her depression seemed to be getting worse, so he took her off them, cold turkey. (We now know that you should NEVER stop taking a SSRI cold turkey, as severe withdrawal symptoms can result.)

The next week we finally got in to see the psychiatrist and he gave her Zoloft and Trazedone. Later that same week, the school counselor called again, saying Caitlin was now talking about wanting to jump out of the school’s 2nd story windows. We immediately took her to the social worker/therapist she had been seeing, who referred her to a clinic where she could see a psychiatrist that same day, who admitted her into Shoal Creek for observation. While there, they added Depacote and Zyprexa to her chemical cocktail, to help with the hallucinations, stabilize her moods, and just in case she did have a seizure disorder. They also ruled out bipolar disorder, but said the Depacote could help with that too. So we were beginning to feel hopeful that the wonder drugs of modern pharmacology were going to make our daughter better.

But while visiting her in the hospital that Wed., she started acting psychotic, rocking back and forth, repeating the same thing over and over, and the next day, made a weak attempt at self-mutilation, scratching her arms with a broken comb. You have no idea how bizarre this behavior was to us, in contrast to the bright, kind, sensitive girl who wanted to be a veterinarian that we knew and loved. (At the time, we attributed her behavior to being exposed to the older kids on the ward who she identified with and some of whom acted in similar ways, but now we are convinced that it was the side effects and/or withdrawal symptoms of the SSRI’s.)

She was released after 8 days, and her first night home she ran away. She had planned it in the hospital, according to an entry in her journal we found later. She had a backpack stocked with supplies, and her plan was to just walk into the night and keep going. No particular reason, she just “had to get away”. (We now understand that SSRI’s double one of the “fight or flight” hormones in the blood. Until this, she had never tried, or even talked about running away in her life.)

Fortunately we found her and got through Thanksgiving OK, though her behavior continued to be strange. She was hyperactive, always needing to be doing something. She made a clumsy attempt to steal a beer at the corner store (SSRI’s have been shown to induce a craving for alcohol, even in people who have never drank before) and in general, had turned into an angry and defiant, yet still despondent and depressed adolescent, literally overnight.

She tried to convince us that she was just a “bad” kid, and we should accept it. We overheard her talking on the phone to one of the girls that was on her ward during her first stay in the hospital, saying completely fictitious things like she had gone with older boys and stolen cars. Again, you would have to have known our daughter before her “illness”, to appreciate the absurdity of these things. She went to school the Monday after Thanksgiving, but we got yet another call from the school counselor before the end of the day. Her hallucinations had changed. Instead of just seeing and hearing children playing that weren’t there, she saw pools of blood, bloody knives, and heard adult voices commanding her to kill herself. So back to the social worker/psychiatrist/hospital we went.

This time they put her on the children’s (12 and under) ward, instead of with the adolescents, like before. (The psychiatrist that referred her to Shoal Creek this second time thought, as we did, that she was manipulating us and the system to get back to the hospital because she enjoyed being around the older kids. He didn’t seem take her suicide threats or hallucinations seriously, but felt he had to put her back in the hospital, just to be safe.)

She protested about being on the children’s ward, but over the course of the week, she did seem to improve. They kept her on the same drugs, adjusting the dosages somewhat, and she willingly participated in both group and individual therapy sessions. It was obvious that she really wanted to get better. They also, finally, did a psych evaluation (which they should have done during her first stay) and found that she was a bright, sensitive 12-year old, totally in touch with reality. No psychosis or schizophrenia or other mental illness. When we picked her up on Dec. 4, we thought we had our daughter back. (Maybe she was near the manic end of one of her drug-induced mood swings, or maybe her will to live was winning out. We will probably never know.) The first thing she wanted to do was buy a Christmas tree, which of course, we did. For the next couple of weeks, she seemed to use Christmas to hold off the darkness that was threatening her mind. Though still hyper, her mood and attitude were definitely improved. She became re-acquainted with a boy she knew from church, and they started “going out”(being boyfriend/girlfriend, in today’s lingo.) She was so happy. We were so hopeful. A few days before Christmas, she went back to the psychiatrist for a follow-up. We believe here is where one of the last fatal mistakes was made. She seemed so much better. She claimed her hallucinations had stopped. She finished the last week of school before Christmas Vacation with no problems. On Dec. 8, I got her out of school earlier to see her favorite band at the Palmer Auditorium. She said it was the best day of her life. Her only complaint was that she had trouble staying awake during the day sometimes, though she seemed to be sleeping a little better at night. So the doctor took her off Trazedone, which has a sedative effect, and Zyprexa, since the hallucinations went away. He left her on Depacote and, unfortunately, Zoloft.
Unchecked by the sedative, we now believe that she had an adverse “overshoot” reaction to the Zoloft, first pushing her into akathisia (a severe inner agitation), then plummeting her into profound depression and two weeks later, inducing suicide.
She made it through to Christmas, but the day after, we caught her trying to run away again. It was the beginning of the end. She became withdrawn and depressed again, and she broke up with her boyfriend on, of all nights, New Year’s Eve 2000. She was dreading going back to school, but went anyway, at our insistence, on Tues. Jan. 4. (We found out later, that she had told a friend the night before about a vivid hallucination in which she killed herself.)

Some of the kids had found out she had been in Shoal Creek, and teased her mercilessly that first day back. At our request, the school had set up a 504 plan for her, stating that, if she felt “unsafe”, (why didn’t they spell it out that she was suicidal?) she could go to the principal’s office and do her work there, which she invoked, spending most of that day in the office. On Wed. Jan. 5, we strongly encouraged her to attend class, giving her some snappy come-backs to say to the kids that teased her, and admonishing her to face her problems and work through them, instead of hiding out in the office. God forgive us. In her 2nd period class, she was given a Detention Hall for not turning in some homework assignment. Her friends said they had never seen her look so dejected. She shuffled out of the classroom, shoulders slumped, head down, and never made it to 3rd period.
Instead, she went to the girl’s bathroom and hung herself with her shoelaces from the hook on back of the stall door. It wasn’t until the end of the next period after that – what would have been her lunch period – that she was found. If the teachers really understood the intent of the 504 plan, if they really understood that she was at risk of suicide, how could they have disciplined her, a girl who was never in trouble at school, and how could they have not noticed, or been concerned, that she didn’t show up to 3rd period, and that she also missed her lunch period?

But now I’m getting into another issue – one of the many raised by Caitlin’s death. Problems with the school system and the healthcare delivery system certainly need to be addressed, and yes, there needs to be more education about, and a general de-stigmatization of suicide and mental illness, but we lay the majority of blame for Caitlin’s death at the golden feet of the pharmaceutical companies (like Pfizer and Lilly) who have known for years that their SSRI drugs can have extremely adverse, and sometimes fatal side effects, like suicide, yet have systematically plotted to keep this knowledge from not only the public, but the doctors who prescribe them, in an effort to protect the billions of dollars in revenue they generate. It is our contention that if her doctors had properly diagnosed and treated Caitlin’s sleep disorder, instead of categorizing her as “depressed” and giving her SSRI’s, she would be with us today. And it is our hope that other parents can learn from our tragedy, and other children can be saved.

Glenn and Mary McIntosh, Parents of Caitlin E. McIntosh, born Oct. 5, 1987, died Jan. 5, 2000.We can be contacted by phone at (512) 257-0450 or email: mgmcintosh@earthlink.net

 

7/30/2001

This is Survivor Story number 13.
Total number of stories in current database is 34

 1,296 total views

No Longer the Same after Six Months on Psychotropics

“Where will it all end? He had never even had a headache before all of this!”

 

Hello, I am Joey Depew. My husband Bob is 53, a computer artist, self employed for the last 28 years and is no longer the same.

He wanted to stop smoking and was given samples of Wellbutrin (Zyban). He had a bad cold and the GP told him it was most likely lung cancer. Anxiety erupted, followed by a trip to the ER for a possible heart attack. NO CANCER – NO HEART ATTACK, but he was put on a sample two-level dose packet of Paxil for an anxiety disorder. After 4 days of euphoria, then 4 days of hell, he went cold turkey off this killer drug.

Then Lorazapam for sleep, Tarazadon for anxiety and finally a week in a psychiatric hospital. And now he’s taking Serzone. All this in 6 months. And the result, he has been changed–crying, head pains like a grabbing in the back inside of his head, zombie-like some of the time and sensitive to light-sound-movement.

Where will it all end?

He had never even had a headache before all of this!

Joey

12/28/2000

This is Survivor Story number 1.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

 1,221 total views

No Longer the Same after Six Months on Psychotropics

Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 1.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

12/28/2000

No Longer the Same after Six Months on Psychotropics

Other Medications

“Where will it all end? He had never even had a headache before all of this!”

Hello, I am Joey Depew. My husband Bob is 53, a computer artist, self employed for the last 28 years and is no longer the same.

He wanted to stop smoking and was given samples of Wellbutrin (Zyban). He had a bad cold and the GP told him it was most likely lung cancer. Anxiety erupted, followed by a trip to the ER for a possible heart attack. NO CANCER – NO HEART ATTACK, but he was put on a sample two-level dose packet of Paxil for an anxiety disorder. After 4 days of euphoria, then 4 days of hell, he went cold turkey off this killer drug.

Then Lorazapam for sleep, Tarazadon for anxiety and finally a week in a psychiatric hospital. And now he’s taking Serzone. All this in 6 months. And the result, he has been changed–crying, head pains like a grabbing in the back inside of his head, zombie-like some of the time and sensitive to light-sound-movement.

Where will it all end?

He had never even had a headache before all of this!

Joey

 1,312 total views