Zoloft Hell

“I knew I had to get off of this drug to save my sanity.”

I was prescribed Zoloft for mild anxiety. Now I know I the mild anxiety I had was nothing compared to the horrible side effects of Zoloft. I experienced them immediately after the first pill. I took it for a total of only five weeks, the last 11 days on 50 mg……….a relatively low dose……or so they say?

In short, my side effects included what I call “electrical brain surges” (I feared I was losing my mind), persistent diahrrea every morning, a total loss of appetite (I don’t mean depressed appetite, I mean I lost all appetite or interest in food to the point I had to force food for nourishment); severe panic attacks upon awakening; tachycardia (I have been on 0.125 mg Digoxin for 3 years for this condition and I believe Zoloft made it worse, but this cannot be proven) and a feeling of detachment from reality (I believe this may also be called depersonalization)……….The last side effect that developed was nausea.

So…….into my fifth week on Zoloft which was Day 11 on 50 mg. I told my doctor about these symptoms and she said to taper off the Zoloft. The next morning I was so weak and dehydrated from the diarrhea I went to the Emergency Room (my second E.R. visit, the first visit to the E.R. was early into the course of Zoloft, after panicking all morning I was scared there was something really physically wrong with me). The E.R. doctor was apprised of everything that I was experiencing and told me NOT TO TAKE ANOTHER ZOLOFT. In fact he said to me, “If you were my wife or sister, I would tell you to NEVER have taken it.” Despite my PCP’s plan of tapering which would have meant another four days of 25 mg. I did what the E.R. doctor recommended and never took another one.

I was give I.V. fluids and Phergan for nausea, an abdominal x-ray and they did some blood work. He advised that I would probably continue with some side effects until it was out of my system. I am now into Day 12 being Zoloft free and am finally returning to normal. Yes, side effects continued, especially bouts of nausea which I could attribute to nothing and have had bad headaches also.

I personally know two people on Zoloft. One friend has been on it for just over a year and swears it’s a miracle drug for her. She is taking it due to mild depression. The other person has only been on it for about two months but he loves it as well, Also prescribed for depression (He is depressed because he hates his job and work environment).

I can only report to you MY EXPERIENCE on the drug. The only other prescription meds I am on is Digoxin and Lipitor (10 mg.) which I have taken for just over one year. I know they say there is no drug interactions with these drugs, but I have my doubts.

I am involved in an exercise program now to deal with any anxiety, and honestly I have not had any anxiety or panic since getting off of this drug. I fear for people who are on these drugs long term.

Maybe I am in a rare class of people whose bodies cannot tolerate the drug. My PCP SHOULD have known better than to let me go on for FIVE WEEKS with the side effects, as I reported them to her on MORE THAN ONE occasion.

At any rate, I am off the Zoloft and it will be a LONG TIME before I am able to forget the experience. One last thing I’d like to say about how it affected my brain……….Although I was not suicidal, I could understand, for the first time, how someone could end it all just to find some peace. That, in itself, was scary to me……..that I could totally understand why someone would kill themselves.

There were also several times when I thought I was going to end up on a psych ward, I was afraid I was on the verge of a psychotic break with reality…….I think when I realized that I was having these thoughts, I knew I had to get off of this drug to save my sanity.

Julie Shields

 

This is Survivor Story number 46.
Total number of stories in current database is 77

10/5/2003

 

 1,521 total views

My Experiences on Zoloft and Paxil

“The good little voice in my head is being blown away by the bad voice.”

I am a 26 year old, married mother of two. At 21, I began having panic attacks which became so severe I couldn’t leave my home and struggled if anyone came to my home.

A doctor put me on Zoloft. At the time it made life livable again and I am thankful for that. Instead of facing my problem I put a band aid on it. Little did I know it was filled with toxic medicine. After several years I began panicking again and was prescribed Paxil. I took all feeling of panic away. It also took my creativity, spirituality, and core self away. After 6 months I began having strange thoughts about hurting people and myself. I became pessimistic and hateful. The past few months it has became much worse.

The good little voice in my head is being blown away by the bad voice. I want to do destructive things to property and other people. Lately I feel like if I killed myself before I act out these twisted fantasies I could save my soul before its too late. I am normally happy, optimistic and think before I do anything. I love kids and animals. These feelings seem like a demon rather than me. I’ve consulted several doctors with the research I’ve found on Paxil and its terrible reactions.

They want to up my dose. Most say I should go to a mental hospital for evaluations. None will even consider helping me get off this drug. They will be more then happy to drug you but won’t touch you if you want to come off. I am currently searching for a good psychologist and medical doctor that will consider helping me off.

I never had anything like this prior to taking Paxil. What I thought was my angel turned into a demon.

please DO NOT LET MORE PEOPLE TAKE THIS DRUG!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy Kendall
jj323@tetonwireless.com

This is Survivor Story number 41.
Total number of stories in current database is 77

9/24/2003

 1,268 total views

Psychiatric drugs – Long path of uncertainty.

“Through all the experiences with these drugs, I think they should be banned. I don’t believe a one of them helped me in the long run.”

I am 18 yrs old, since the age of 12 I have been on, Ativan, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa, Lexapro, Klonopin, Prozac, probably more in fact, I’d say I took most of the popular ones on the market.

Through all the experiences with these drugs, I think they should be banned. I don’t believe a one of them helped me in the long run, temporarily it may have, because some of them were narcotics. But to this day, at 18 yrs old, I know I will never be me again, I know somehow, someway it altered my personality for life, which is the most frustrating feeling a person can have in my opinion, wanting to be what is rightfully yours, yourself.

At the moment, I am coming off Lexapro, and I was only on this drug for 3 weeks, a small dose also, 10MG. Yet, I am having the same withdrawal affects as I did on Paxil, and Zoloft that I took for many months, the ‘shocks’ I like to call them, some people explain them with dizzy spells, electricity racing through the body, as if it releases through the brain, through the rest of your body, It truly makes me sick to my stomach when I see commercials on these drugs saying, Zoloft is not habit forming, Paxil is not habit forming. Because if your body has such horrible symptoms from not having a substance, is that not classified as habit-forming? Not habit forming, but yet if I took one of my pills right now, those symptoms would suddenly cease to exist, if that’s not habit-forming to your body, then I have no idea what is.

These drugs have made me high, they have made me low, they’ve made me hallucinate, paranoid, delusional, scared to death, crazy, suicidal, apathetic, detached, and most of all, they’ve made me not me. Which angers me more than anything. I look at the these drug industries, just like I look at a corporations like Phillip Morris. Who distribute harmful habit-forming substances to the ignorant. For the simple purpose of making handfuls of money, cause I believe that is the root of all evil. I am sympathetic to people who suffer with any form of mental illness, cause in the long run, it gets very hopeless if these drugs don’t work for you, cause you know there is something wrong, you take these drugs, they may work, they may not. If they don’t, then what? Do you continue looking for a simple-answer locked up inside a small pill.

That you really don’t understand what place they play in your body. Or do you stay with your natural self, and still feel terrible, That’s where the hopelessness comes from to many, although, I believe there is other possibilities,

For each individual out there, this will differ, some can cope simply by talking, others reading, some people take the destructive route, which I have, and many others continue to, drugs, alcohol. But even as I did take these various routes, there was/is something missing, but people must look, and continue to look. Although it’s a difficult way to live, there is still hope, I don’t think the answer lies inside a man-made pill. But that’s me, I am reluctant to recommend these drugs to people finding out they have a form of mental illness and are recommended medication, for the simple reason of uncertainty.

So many things can go wrong on them, At this point in history I truly don’t know if man-kind is ready to start messing with what makes up everything we are, the brain. It seems as if humans likes to start messing with things before they fully understand them, which I think is very dangerous. That seems logical to me, But when I ask doctors, why am I having these symptoms, from this drug, that is supposed to be so safe, I get, “I don’t know.”

As for me I will stop taking all these drugs, There is a few of them on my list above that I would do about anything to get off the market. So, ask questions, do research, don’t jump onto the long road of experimenting with this uncertain branch of drugs, for your son, daughter, yourself, or any loved one for that matter.

Joe
buffer@uncompiled.com

Joe
buffer@uncompiled.com

 1,499 total views

Zoloft Nightmare

“(Because of Zoloft) I was in prison and had lost my family, all of my property, my Ph.D.”

 

I am yet another individual whose life has been horribly disfigured by the drug Zoloft. My story is a very long one and I will not tell it all at this point but write of it in its entirety when my website is up some time in May of 03. The following is an abstract of sorts, a summary.

I began taking Zoloft in 1993. By 1996 I was in prison and had lost my family, all of my property, my Ph.D. (I was all but dissertation at the time of my arrest), my job, my reputation, and so on. I spent 6 years behind bars and was released in April of 2002. I will be on parole as a sex offender (I photographed my 15-year-old stepdaughter and her 15-year-old girlfriend) until 2016.

While in prison I was listening to a radio talk show, Cost-to-Coast, guest-hosted by the very talented Ian Punnett.

It was a Sunday, July 01, 2001. His guest was our own Dr. Ann Blake Tracy. As she spoke I was amazed at the ramifications of what she was saying. I fit the pattern of someone who had succumbed to the drugs malevolent influences to a “t”. It was on that day that I first realized what had happened to me. It all became so clear! Five long years after my imprisonment I realized what had happened! May God bless and keep Dr. Tracy.

My point in posting my story at this time is to see if there may be some way those of us who have had their lives destroyed by a drug can unite and file a class action lawsuit against the manufacturers of these drugs, Pfizer in my case. The statue of limitations has run out for me here in Arkansas. I only had two years to file for damages. But that is not acceptable to me and I want to pursue remedy. If there is any one of you who would like to try to pursue this please feel free to contact me at one of the following options.

I may be hard to reach for one reason or another (when I’m on line my home phone is busy, try the cell number) but please keep trying. There has got to be restitution for us in some way. My contact information is as follows: John E. Herndon, 13150 Nickels Rd., West Fork, AR 72774. Or e-mail me at- elwain@msntv.net.

Or phone me at home 479-839-3111, or cell 479-841-1661. There must be something we can do besides lament our tragedies on the web.

elwain@webtv.net
John Herndon

 1,409 total views

A Concerned Parent Story

“Video Used to Justify Putting my Daughter on Five Different Drugs”

 

As a concerned parent, I would like to share my story.

Last year my daughter was having a rough time coping–she lost her three-year-old cousin in a house fire on New Year’s Day and her voice listen teacher passed away suddenly one month later. She turned 18 in February and graduated in June. The same week she graduated, she admitted herself to a psych unit at a local hospital while I was out-of-town for a work conference.

As she was 18, I felt completely helpless in her treatment.

A psychiatrist, who certainly did not know my daughter, put her on five different medications–three of which were Depakote, Serzone, and Zoloft. (They would not tell me what all she was on and she hid most of them from me.) The hospital and psychiatrist brainwashed her to believe that she was Manic-Depressive–she may have been depressed, but I have never once seen her in a manic phase in her life. They showed her a video, which was obviously produced by a pharmaceutical company, telling her she would need to live on these drugs for the rest of her life.

As a nutritionist, I turned to the social worker and asked, ” Not once in this video did it say anything about nutrition–the number one reason why so many are depressed–lacking in some very important vitamins and minerals.” My daughter smoked, was on birth control, was a vegetarian, and did not eat right– of which the smoking and birth control deplete the B vitamins and folic acid. I asked the hospital, ” If you are a state-of -the-art facility, why don’t you ultimately order a multivitamin with minerals and teach patients how to improve their diets to reduce depression naturally?” No, their first course of action is all the drugs–my daughter walked around like a zombie. Within two weeks of going home, my daughter tried to commit suicide–so I took her off the Zoloft and called her psychiatrist, who never returned my calls or spoke to me about my daughter because she was 18.

I lived with my daughter for 18 years, I certainly know her better than some psychiatrist who has only dealt with her for maybe 1-2 hours max. I did not care about what my daughter said to her in confidence, but why wouldn’t this psychiatrist at least talk with me to get a whole picture of what was going on to better treat her. The psychiatrist also did not do any follow-ups on my daughter to see how she was doing on all these meds.

My daughter moved out on her own two months later, which really scared me, as she was still on all these medications. She started classes at the local university the end of August and while we were camping Labor Day Weekend, she admitted herself in the psych unit again, as she nearly passed out at work. I was never contacted. On Labor Day, we received a call from her work, “We have not seen your daughter since Thursday evening and she has not called us. Do you know where she is?” Immediately, we went to her apartment fearing for the worst–that perhaps she had committed suicide as she did not answer the phone. The maintenance opened her apartment, she was not there. We found out later that she was taken to the local hospital by a friend. I called the hospital and they stated no such patient is here. I called the psych unit–no such patient here.

Why couldn’t they at least tell a parent that their 18 yr-old child is safe? I paged her psychiatrist, who again never called me back. My daughter finally called me to let me know she was safe. I don’t know why she was admitted to the psych unit when she nearly passed out at work–why wasn’t she put on a general floor for testing–it was found that she was hypoglycemic. Because their was an issue with her health insurance and no further psych treatments would be covered, I told her if she wanted to continue any kind of treatment and she wanted me to pay for it, she would have to change to a psychiatrist that I found who does not believe in medication as a first response. I am happy to say, this new psychiatrist took her off all medications and she is doing better. She is taking multivitamins.

P.S. My husband and I have been doing Young Living oils for the past five years. I would like my daughter to use them, but she believes we are “witch doctors” and very rarely will use them. I would diffuse ‘Joy’ oil in the air when she was a little moody and she would turn happy, but then she caught on to what I was doing.

I strongly believe a parent should have a right to know and have a say in their child’s treatment when they are 21 years-old or less–especially when they are so doped up on all the anti-depressive drugs. They certainly are not in their right mind!

Diane Miller, Michigan
hw4all@buckeye-express.com

 

12/31/2002

This is Survivor Story number 1.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 1,641 total views

A Professional Dancer’s Ordeal With SSRI’s

“…a “nightmare” of experimentation, grave anxiety, lots of depression and suicidal thoughts, which were to pervade my life for the next 12 plus years.”

 

Dear Ann Blake-Tracy,

Fortunately, for me, someone recently referred me to your tape, “Help, I can’t get off my Anti-Depressants.” I would like to tell you my story.

Back in 1989, after years suffering from depression and anxiety, I was prescribed, for the first time, an antidepressant. I had been a dancer, previously, with American Ballet Theatre, in New York, and the National Ballet of Canada. Although I was no longer dancing, I had always been very aware of my body, and did not realize how sensitive my body chemistry was. I have suffered from depression since I was about 12 years old. I immersed myself into the dance world, and became a professional dancer.

At this time, which was already several years after stopping dancing, I was prescribed Prozac, which I took for six months (I do not recall the dosage). I was living in Tempe, Arizona, at the time, and became “wired like a bunny, going 90 miles an hour, sleeping about four hours a night.” I began commuting back and forth to Los Angeles, where I fell into the movie business, doing set decoration. I was happy and high. After six months, I went off the medication.

About six months later, someone broke into my truck, in LA. I, for lack of any other description, “freaked out,” beyond the normal reaction. I panicked, felt violated, and really overreacted. I decided to try to take the Prozac again, and began what was to become a “nightmare” of experimentation, grave anxiety, lots of depression and suicidal thoughts, which were to pervade my life for the next 12 plus years.

I guess my body chemistry being so sensitive, when I tried to take the Prozac again, I reacted badly, becoming even more anxious and agitated. The doctors would increase my dose, and it would get worse. Over the next 10 or so years, I went on and off different medications, different doses, always on the low side. I was given Paxil (made me severely agitated and very drowsy), Wellbutrin, Depakote, Serzone, Zoloft, and I even tried St. John’s Wort, Kava, and nothing. My cycles of depression were severe at times. And whenever I got to the point where I was finally off the medication I was taking, as I tried to get off so many times, I would have a major depressive episode, and it would take from six to nine months to get back to normal. It was even more difficult getting back on the drugs and becoming stable, after I had weaned off. I must say, I always did this against my doctor’s advice; she did not want me off my medications, I wanted off.

For a few years I did well on a low dose of Zoloft. Then I tried to wean off, and had a serious re-occurrence of the depression, waking up extremely anxious every day, not wanting to live. It was almost harder getting back on the drugs after I had weaned off. It took about nine months to recover and feel “normal” again.

In 1999, I ended up at a treatment center for depression and anxiety. By this point I was taking only Luvox, as I had a lot of obsessive thinking (not OCD, though). I don’t know what happened, but I went through a period that was bad, and the doctor’s upped my dosage from 25 mg to 75 mg a day, and I really freaked out and ended up going to this treatment center. When I dropped the dosage back to 25, the anxiety was greatly reduced. The doctor would always tell me to take a Xanax when it got that bad…I would rarely do that, and if I did, I would take 1/2 of the .25 mg pill, just one time, and that would jump start me back to normal, after a day of feeling totally out of it, for the next six months or nine months, when I might end up taking another 1/2 a Xanax again.

Anyway, today I have stabilized on 12.5 mg. of Luvox, EVERY OTHER DAY!! I have been trying to wean off for years, unsuccessfully. I practice kundalini yoga, with Gurmukh, at Golden Bridge Yoga in Los Angeles and am taking the teacher’s training program. This form of yoga works on the nervous system. A lot of time I shake in class, because I know my nervous system is still so out of whack. I try to each healthy, I don’t eat red meat, and not much chicken or fish, either. I am attracted to sugar, and always have been. I have a very lean, muscular, athletic body, and obviously a VERY sensitive body chemistry. The kundalini yoga has been amazing, BUT, I still haven’t been able to get past the 12.5 mg every other day dosage.

WHAT CAN I DO???????? If I pull out just one pill, meaning, if I skip one day, hoping to proceed further in the weaning process, I find myself dip right into the depression. I can also become very angry and agitated.

Earlier this year, not knowing the severity of quick withdrawal, I went from 12.5 mg Luvox every day to every other day for one week. I felt like I was in bliss, like someone lifted the cloud off my head. The second week I cut back to 12.5 mg every third day. On day 10 I suffered a severe crash, and it took me 6 weeks to get back to normal. I had to resume my dosage to 12.5 every day, and eventually got it back to 12.5 mg every other day. But every day, for six weeks, I woke up agitated, and crying and not wanting to live.

I am 43 years old. I am tired of being on medications, even if it is only a small dosage. I have taken something or other since the end of 1989, on and off. I want so much to be drug-free. I am also single, and tired of being alone. No one wants to deal with this kind of mood disorder, although I was married, and my husband was supportive, most relationships cannot endure “my problem.”

Despite my depressions, I have always been a functioning depressive. I will cry and be alone and in pain in the quiet of my own home, or often when I am on the streets driving, and I will go to work and complete my job. I work on the TV show “Malcolm in the Middle.” I shop for the set decorations, so I am often out by myself. I have time to be in pain and depression and not show anyone, then put on a smile when I get around the set. But it’s not good enough for me anymore.

I want to get past this dosage of 12.5 every other day, and get to NOTHING!! I practice the kundalini yoga 2-3 times a week. I’ve tried some herbs at various times to support my weaning, but I honestly haven’t been consistent with any one program. I get 32 acupuncture visits a year, free as part of my insurance, and I have utilized them for emotional balancing. I always come of there “spaced out,” much like how I feel after a yoga class.

I don’t know how long I’ve been on Luvox, probably almost four years now, if not more. Like I said, I don’t even know if it’s doing anything for me, but I have managed to get down to the 12.5 every other day, and I want so much to be off completely. Last week, I actually managed to cut the 25 mg tablet that I cut in half to make 12.5, in half again, to make it 6.25 (approx) mg, and I took that one day. I may have imagined this, but I suffered a relapse after that, too.

I follow a spiritual path. I’ve read all the self-help books. My whole life has been devoted to wanting to heal. It’s time for this to end now.

Please, can you tell me how I can finally kick that last little bit of the medication?? I don’t even know if even the 12.5 mg every other day is doing much for me, because I still have my cycles of mood swings.

Can I hope to be off of them completely? Where should I go from here??

I hope you will write back to me.

Thank you so much for your time.

 

12/29/2002

This is Survivor Story number 2.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 1,879 total views,  1 views today

Your Site Explains my Nephew’s

“Thanks for making people aware of the dangers of using any drugs.”

 

I wanted to thank you for your site, and the information on it has helped my family deal with a recent loss.

My 15 year old nephew took his life last month. In the week after this tradegy, his friends came forward and gave information to my brother that led us to research what had happened. They explained that about six of them had been introduced to Zoloft just 7 days before and had been taking those pills. Ray Jr took heavy doses six times. This information, coupled with research on the internet, including your site provided an explanation for what happened, and why he would be driven to do this, with this particular drug.

My brother put up a site at http://www.geocities.com/ray_burk/index.html about two weeks ago as memorial to his son, but also to make people aware of the dangers of using any drugs. He references your site and others to provide information that parents and their kids should read.

Thanks.

Jimmy Burk

 

12/25/2002

This is Survivor Story number 4.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 1,610 total views,  2 views today

Pharmacist Messed Up on Zoloft

“I developed insomnia and nightmares. When I would drift to sleep, I’d awaken to terrifying nightmares, that would leave me weak and shaking.”

 

I was having bouts of depression from work stresses and general work unhappiness, so my doctor put me on Zoloft. At first, I felt no immediate changes, but about 1 month into treatment, I began wanting to sleep all day. On my days off, I would wake up at 2pm, flop in the couch and nap the rest of the daylight hours away, wake up for an hour or so and back to bed. I would not leave my house, refused to see friends, refused to answer the phone, even quit going to the gym. My doctor decided the med was not working so he upped my dose to 100mg.

Wow!! That really messed me up. I then began suffering gaps in my memory, that started out tiny and insignificant, and grew to be huge and troublesome problems. At the height of this forgetfulness, I missed 3 house payments and 3 car payments!!!! I had never missed a payment in my life….I may have been a couple of days late on a couple of occasions, but never blatantly just missed!! I looked at my check book and could not tell that I had not made the payments. I was so confused and could not focus on anything for very long.

I also began having panic attacks and horrible sweating attacks. I would panic and break out in a horrible sweat….to the point that my hair and clothes would be soaked in a matter of a few minutes. I was especially intolerant of heat of any sort. I took a trip to the Caribbean and felt like clawing my skin off the entire trip, just to escape the heat. But people around me were wearing light sweaters!!! It was horrible.

Then I developed insomnia and nightmares. When I would drift to sleep, I’d awaken to terrifying nightmares, that would leave me weak and shaking.

I also started having strange heart palpitations and twinges of chest pain. Oh! and headaches that were unbearable.

I tapered myself off and immediately began having the most horrific dizzy spells that you can imagine. As long as I didn’t move my head, I was okay, but if I just slightly moved, the room would spin uncontrollably. So much so, that I found myself gripping the walls to stay upright. Then massive, deep sorrowful depression set in. I think I slept for the next 6 months, except when I was at work. I don’t know how I functioned at work, but I managed. During this Zoloft fiasco that lasted over 1 yr, I gained 10 lbs, developed that “fat neck syndrome” and managed to run off my boyfriend.

The sad part of all this is that I am a pharmacist!!!!

Not Lost Anymore

 

12/10/2002

This is Survivor Story number 6.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 

 1,539 total views

Homicidal and Suicidal on Zoloft and Paxil

“1 week on the Paxil and I was nuts!”

 

Recently experiencing a mind-altering homicidal/suicidal Zoloft induced event in my own life, I wondered if any studies have been done to determine how many of these men had been taking an SSRI.

My personal experience, thank God, did not end in a completed homicide or suicide. If it not for your website and links I know I would not be here to testify to the dangers of SSRI’s.

I am currently withdrawing from Zoloft for the 4th time in 10 years. It saddens me even to admit this. Why I again took the drug that had led me to suicidal ideation when withdrawing from it in the past is beyond me.

I want to share with you my recent frightening experience.

I successfully withdrew from 8 years of taking Zoloft last year. By April, 2002 I was medication free. I also stopped receiving depo-provera injections. In Aug. I experienced depression (I now think was PMS) and was very adverse to any treatment with an SSRI. My depression lingered and my Dr. insisted I go back on an SSRI ”because I was just one of those people that will always need an SSRI to live a normal life”. She suggested that since I had effectively gone off Zoloft that Paxil would be a better alternative. 1 week on the Paxil and I was nuts! 2 weeks on the Paxil and I developed severe heart palpitations, increased anxiety and a total inability to concentrate. I titrated myself to shavings of Paxil and went back to the Dr. She was unhappy that I had decreased the Paxil dosage, and thought I should have increased it to “get past that”. We agreed Zoloft had worked before, and I immediately quit the Paxil and started back on a 50 mgm Zoloft dose with a psychiatric consult in 2 weeks. My Dr. felt that “my psychiatric problems were beyond her scope” and suggested my meds be evaluated by a shrink.

After taking the Zoloft 50 mgm for 1 week, I developed a homicidal and suicidal obsession. I was functioning in a somewhat normal fashion, but could not avoid thinking about suicide almost 24 hours a day. I felt it was the only answer to my problems. On the day of my psych consult, I was in despair over the anxiety attacks I was experiencing at night, waking me out of my sleep. I also was in despair over the invasion of suicidal thoughts and feeling the need to kill my child (to protect her) that were overwhelming me. I told this to the intake nurse during my initial psych interview.

She escorted me to the psychiatrist, who gave me some diagnostic fill in the blank tests. He increased the Zoloft to 100mgm a day, gave me a 2 week sample of Wellbutrin to start bid and gave me a sample bottle of Zyprexa to take prn -”for when you are really losing it”. I scheduled a follow up appt. for 2 weeks and left. I went home, picked up my daughter and took her to her gymnastics class. While waiting for her, I read the inserts in the drug sample boxes. Oh, My God! This information scared me out of my wits! I determined that the shrink really thought I was nuts without telling me! I immediately went to the bathroom and flushed the samples away. I thought, if I get any more suicidal, I’ll be over-dosing on my samples in a flash. While watching my daughter work so hard at her gymnastics, I decided I could not bare any more thoughts of killing her or myself. I needed to get home, get to your site and start researching what was wrong with me!

After her class, when we arrived home, the police were in my drive-way. I was fearing some tragedy had happened to my sons or husband. When my daughter and I entered our home, I found I was the tragedy!! The police had been waiting for me for 1/2 hour. They had been dispatched to my home, by the intake nurse at the clinic. She had called the police and told them I was going to kill my daughter and myself. The police had spent the time before I got home questioning my family, searching our home, and removing my husband’s gun collection from the house. All this was done with my husband’s permission as he and my boys were totally unaware of my problems. The police interviewed me for a 1/2 hour and 2 more police came to our home. After another 1/2 hour they decided I was o.k. and left. I had a lot of explaining to do to my family. They were as alarmed as I . For lack of insight and desperation I started taking 100mgm of Zoloft that evening.

About a week later after developing extreme heart palpitations and increased anxiety (which my m.d. gave me Xanax for). I went to your website and found a link re: Zoloft side effects; I found that suicidal and homicidal ideation within the first few weeks of use was a known side effect.

It would have been very beneficial if the psychiatrist and other professionals I came in contact with would have known this. As soon as I read this I went to another link for more help and decided to taper off the Zoloft. The anxiety, depression, and especially the heart palpitations have subsided.

I had an echocardiogram and holter monitor which showed I was fine. I haven’t got all the Zoloft out of my system yet, but am hopeful that I will use ANY alternative to SSRI medication should/when the depression returns.

After careful evaluation of my situation, and having had successful use of Zoloft for many years, I had come to the conclusion that I needed more Zoloft because I was SO depressed about the suicidal ideation. I spoke directly to a phone counselor from another link. He was very helpful in explaining that THE SAME MEDICATION (ESPECIALLY SSRI’S) CAN CAUSE NEW SIDE EFFECTS WHEN THEY ARE TAKEN AGAIN AFTER BEING DISCONTINUED. It was a logical explanation to what had gone wrong!

If it weren’t for your website and links I doubt I would be able to write this. Thank-you Dr. Tracy for saving my life.

Thank you, again.

Laura Kandl

 

11/26/2002

This is Survivor Story number 7.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 1,548 total views

Married to Zoloft and I Want a Divorce

“I quit cold turkey. Big mistake! Five days later I ended up in the hospital emergency.

I knew something was really wrong.”

 

On September 1997, I went to see my doctor to complain, for the fifth time, (I had seen my doctor five times that month) of nausea and that I had very little energy. She got upset with me and told me that I was in denial, and that my problem was really depression. She prescribed me Zoloft.

At that time, I had just began my first semester in university. My illness did not go away. I felt sick and run down. Six weeks went by, and one day I got violently sick and ended up in the hospital. As it turns out, the reason I had been ill was not because of a depression I knew I had, but because I had a viral infection that had gone untreated for months.

After I was treated for this infection, I continued taking Zoloft, as I thought it my help me cope with my final exams. I continued taking Zoloft or a few months and finally decided to come off the drug. I quit cold turkey. Big mistake! Five days later I ended up in the hospital emergency.
I knew something was really wrong. The psychiatrist re-ordered Zoloft, and the withdrawal effects quickly disappeared.

After that experience, I knew that I could not quit this drug abruptly, so, a year later, I tried the tapering off method. I went from 150 mg to 50 mg in a matter of four months. The withdrawals became progressively worst, to the point that I could no longer function normally. I had difficulty putting words together; my short term memory was greatly disturbed and I felt like I as losing all mental capacity. I could not read anymore; a pass time I really enjoyed. I could no longer write; and writing was one of my favorite hobbies. To make a long story short, I had to start taking Zoloft again at a dose of 100 ml, just to be able to function.

I have been on Zoloft since 1997.Zoloft ruined my life. Sure, I was depressed before 1997, but at least, then, I was in control of my life. I had some good days. Now the good days are few and far between.(I can’t remember when I felt joy.)I went from being a functional woman with drive and hope for the future; to a scared nervous wreck. I don’t even look or feel the same anymore. It’s like being someone else. Before Zoloft, I always kept my house clean and tidy; I weighed 120 pounds and looked great; I had hobbies which kept me sane; I had a support system and my family admired and praised me. Now, I weigh 208 pounds; I little confidence and drive; I used to be good with money but now I have maxed out my credit; I have become an angry and bitter person; I have thoughts of suicide every day; I have no friends left; In sum, I am not me anymore.

Three days ago, I decided to quit cold turkey again. I am writing this now, because I know that in a few days, I won’t be able to put one word in front of the other. I already feel the withdrawals. Every time I move, my eyes lose focus and my head feels funny. It feels like it skips a beat. It’s very difficult to describe and to tell the truth, I don’t want to see my doctor because he won’t take me seriously. Since I’ve been on Zoloft, I have attempted suicide 11 times. I want myself back. I want that drug out of my system and only hope that it hasn’t caused permanent physical damage.

Zoloft ruined my life.

BarryCompaq@aol.com

 

10/15/2002

This is Survivor Story number 8.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 2,022 total views,  1 views today