Prozac and Klonopin Wrecked My Life

“They ruined me. I am damaged goods forever.”

 

I am a mom of three, married and now (sort of) normal – although I have bouts of depression I have managed to maintain some sense of sanity, well—as much as I can considering I messed my life up by using Klonopin and Prozac and Paxil.

In the beginning of my usage of anti depressants (1993) the docs tried me on everything, amitriptilyne, BusPar, Serzone, and many many others that I cannot remember (my memory is still kind of crappy, can you tell?)

I had clinical depression and anxiety. Panic attacks anxiety and thoughts of suicide.

In 1994 the doc put me on a mixture of Prozac and Klonopin. This was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me. I was a crappy mom, thank god (or whatever) I had a great patient husband to stick by me and take care of the kids! I also began to think I was kind of like superman. I thought I could do anything, even break the law and get away with it. I did break the law and ended up on felony probation for 5 years (actually 2 five years sentences running concurrently) for “felony intimidation”. That wrecked my life BIG TIME — you have no idea. I once had dreams and goals, and they all came to a crashing halt from that. On Prozac I was violent. I broke my hand twice from punching walls, and I was more suicidal than ever. I had a noose ready in the basement, hidden in the beams – for “just in case” and I used to go down there alone and swing on it to test its strength and plan on how I was going to do it (kill myself) one day soon.

The klonopin – I thought it was a great drug for four years, I called it “my drunk in a pill”. I gained 70 pounds from all of these pills, I lost hair, I have terrible skin/acne, I was agoraphobic and afraid of everyone, and I basically sunk to the lowest level I could ever get to. I wouldn’t go for groceries, I wouldn’t leave the house, and I hid in dark depression taking my Paxil and Klonopin…thinking it was helping me.

1997 springtime, I put myself through detox/drug rehab to get off of Klonopin. I couldn’t do it alone and had tried many many many times. They tapered me off, and I went home and three days later my world shattered. I had severe withdrawal, ringing in my ears, stomach cramps, no memory – so much more -I sincerely thought I was brain damaged forever. It took 6 weeks of hell to start to feel better. That was the tip of the iceberg though. I still suffer many things, like a terrible memory and TOTAL feelings of confusion.

I tapered off of Paxil (the antidepressant I was put on after Prozac made me so freaking weird), and now (2001) I get by breathing and taking vitamins and just coping on my own without depending or hoping there is a cure in a pill.

Needless to say, I am an ex-felon now. My name was all over the front page of newspapers. I am embarrassed to fill out a job app because they want to know your criminal history, and my life is altered because of these so called “helpful” miracle drugs. I screwed my kids, my husband and myself by taking these pills. I embarrassed and humiliated my family; I wrecked my life, and caused innocent people to fear for their lives.

I would suggest to anyone, try to get through whatever is happening in your life without taking these pills. They mess up your head. They are all physically addicting (even though docs tell you different) and they can ruin you.

They ruined me. I am damaged goods forever.

I feel sorry for my kids.

Do NOT take these pills!

DO NOT TAKE THESE PILLS and if you are on them or know someone who is, HELP them to stop before they wreck their life or someone else’s.

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have a criminal record.

 

7/31/2001

This is Survivor Story number 17.
Total number of stories in current database is 34

402 total views, 1 views today

Posted in Breaking News - Our Most Recent Serotonin Nightmares., SSRI Survivor Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , .

Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,
International Coalition for Drug Awareness
(DrugAwareness.Org & SSRIstories.Net)
Author: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

She has specialized since 1990 in adverse reactions to serotonergic medications (such as Prozac, Sarafem, Zoloft, Paxil, Luvox, Celexa, Lexapro, Effexor, Serzone, Remeron, Anafranil, Fen-Phen, Redux and Meridia as well as the new atypical antipsychotics Zyprexa, Geodon, Seroquel and Abilify), as well as pain killers, and has testified before the FDA and congressional subcommittee members on antidepressants.

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here: store.drugawareness.org And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one at www.drugawareness.org or sign up for one of the memberships for the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan. You can even get a whole month of access to the withdrawal CD with tips on rebuilding after the meds, all six of my DVDs, hundreds of radio interviews, lectures, TV interviews I have done over the years PLUS my book on antidepressants with more information than you will find anywhere else for only $30 membership for a month (that is only $5 more than the book alone would cost) at www.drugawareness.org. (Definitely the best option to save outrageous postage charges for those out of the country!)

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