Breathing Rosemary Oil Enhances Memory, Fights Alzheimer’s


Rosemary Boosts Memory

Old Superstitions Were on to Something
When It Comes to This Memory Herb

Antidepressant medications have extreme adverse effects upon memory. So adverse are those effects upon memory that amnesia was listed as a frequent side effect to the first SSRI antidepressant Prozac and should follow for all subsequent SSRI and SNRI antidepressants released since then. Memory loss is one of the most common long term effects of antidepressants making this information on Rosemary oil just out so important to those taking or who have taken antidepressants.

Ancient Greek scholars wore this herb around their heads to help them remember their studies. The ancient Egyptians put it in tombs and early Europeans threw it into graves to help them remember the dead.

It’s been given to wedding guests to remember the occasion and also to the happy couple to remind them of their sacred vows. It’s been placed under pillows to enhance recall during sleep.

All these old superstitions are fun, but does the herb have any real memory-boosting power? Surprisingly, yes!

Rosemary is proving to have real merit in preserving and enhancing memory and cognition.

15% Improvement in Long-Term Memory

The first tests on this herb for memory were published in 2003. Researchers studied 132 volunteers for the effects of rosemary in the form of an essential oil (a very strong concentrate extracted from the whole herb). Those exposed to the aroma had a 15% improvement in long-term memory.

This can occur because molecules in the oils are extremely small and can be absorbed into the bloodstream through the olfactory nerve in the nose and via the lungs. They can also cross the blood-brain barrier to have direct effects on the brain.

NPR Radio Show on Oils

I did a radio show on National Public Radio with Kathy Farmer, who is now an expert on the oils and teaches doctors about the oils after using these oils to help her daughter come off Zoloft. This was done right after we got the 2005 warning from the FDA on increased suicide in children using antidepressants. But Kathy does a wonderful job of explaining the science behind how the oils work upon the brain and can help after the use of antidepressants.

You can find that NPR program by going down to section #1 on our website at and then click on the NPR logo which looks like this:


Dr. Mark Moss, lead researcher from the University of Northumbria in the UK, commented: “What is interesting is the possibility of using rosemary over a long period to maintain cognitive performance. It could be that a bit more rosemary with lunch maintains a healthy mind throughout life.”

A later study by Dr. Moss tested volunteers’ ability to do mental arithmetic. Those subjected to the aroma of rosemary saw enhanced aspects of cognition, with greater speed and accuracy. Performance outcomes improved for each task tested.

The most recent Moss study tested prospective memory – remembering events that are expected to occur in the near future and remembering to complete tasks at a certain time. Those exposed to the essential oil performed at a 60 – 75% higher level compared to those not exposed. They were better able to remember events, complete tasks and had greater speed of recall.

More Effective Than Dementia Drugs

Rosemary is able to improve brain function by several mechanisms. It contains a chemical important for memory called 1,8-cineole. Blood levels of this substance rise when a person is exposed to the rosemary scent. 1,8-cineole also has the ability to inhibit acetyl-cholinesterase, an enzyme that reduces brain function. It is among the key enzymes that promote Alzheimer’s disease. Most dementia drugs target this enzyme.

Not only does rosemary contain 1,8-cineole, it also contains rosmarinic acid and ursolic acid. These compounds are also able to inhibit acetylcholinesterase. So altogether, rosemary boasts three factors that work to reduce a dangerous mind-destroying enzyme.

Rosemary also contains carnosic acid, a natural chemical that protects against the ravaging effects of free radicals in the brain that contribute to neurodegeneration.

Dr. Takumi Satoh of Iwate University offered this thought about carnosic acid: “It means that we can do even better in protecting the brain from terrible disorders such as Alzheimer’s, perhaps even slowing down the effects of normal aging.”

Makes You Feel Good Too

Experiments with human volunteers suggest another benefit I find very attractive: The aroma of rosemary elevates a person’s mood. People reported feeling fresher and more active, with greater alertness and less drowsiness. Those who had a massage with rosemary oil said they felt more vigorous and cheerful.

Let me make it clear that the only oil I recommend using is Young Living because there are too many oil companies that extract their oils by using chemicals. I would NEVER recommend using oils processed like that for inhalation. Inhaling something is a direct hit to the brain and you want to make sure what you are inhaling is in its purist form. Young Living Oils are processed via low temperatures (which preserves the enzymes in the oils) steam distillation giving you the purist form you can find to use. If you would like to try it for yourself you can order a bottle by clicking the link below:

Order Rosemary Oil Here and help support us in this battle for truth about antidepressant dangers:

Rosemary oil


Original Article on Rosemary with additional links to more information:

Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,

International Coalition for Drug Awareness &
Author: ”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

WITHDRAWAL HELP: You can find the hour and a half long CD on safe and effective withdrawal helps here:  And if you need additional consultations with Ann Blake-Tracy, you can book one at or sign up for one of the memberships for the International Coalition for Drug Awareness which includes free consultations as one of the benefits of that particular membership plan.

WITHDRAWAL WARNING: In sharing this information about adverse reactions to antidepressants I always recommend that you also give reference to my CD on safe withdrawal, Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!, so that we do not have more people dropping off these drugs too quickly – a move which I have warned from the beginning can be even more dangerous than staying on the drugs!

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5 Dead in Phoenix Murder/Suicide



Flower memorial at front door

5 Dead in Phoenix Murder/Suicide

Thanks to Adrianne Tracy Bentley? and Bev Simmons? for alerting us to this case out of Phoenix.

Michael Guzzo ran next door and shot and killed four neighbors and their dogs and tried to kill other neighbors before going home and shooting himself. Several months earlier he had let neighbors know that he could not handle their barking dogs.

Anyone having trouble with sleep cannot handle barking dogs and sleep deprivation is possibly the most common adverse reaction to an antidepressant and even more so in withdrawal from an antidepressant. Sleep deprivation can produce psychotic breaks.

Also anyone with a serious head injury cannot handle loud noises. Add to that the fact that antidepressants make that sensitivity even worse and should never be given to anyone with a head injury. That is according to Neurologist Dr. Jay Seastrunk and the Wellbutrin package insert – still waiting for all the other companies to warn of that. And that is one reason why I have always wondered why we do not have more shootings over kids blaring their music from their cars.

It would not surprise me at all to learn this is the case in this tragedy if anyone will look to find it.

The head injury leaves one in a position of increased possibility of seizure activity. The loud noises and the antidepressants increase that as well. Anger outbursts are also related to seizure activity which is an over stimulation of the brain….all of that is linked together as is the fact that mania which is a form of psychosis is a continuous series of mild seizures. And this all boils down to the fact that if you do not want to go insane avoid as much as possible that will over stimulate the brain – something our world appears to be full of stimulants of every kind possible.

Learn more about this case by reading the original article below:

Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,
International Coalition for Drug Awareness &
Author: *”Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? – Our Serotonin Nightmare – The Complete Truth of the Full Impact of Antidepressants Upon Us & Our World” & Withdrawal CD “Help! I Can’t Get Off My Antidepressant!”

 3,325 total views

nortriptyline (Pamelor)

Last month I was prescribed a low dose of nortriptyline (10mg) to help with nerve pain. After a week I was told to increase my dose to 20mg. On day 9, I woke up with severe depression. I had been feeling mildly depressed on and off because of chronic pain, but this was different. It was on par with losing a family member or going through a difficult breakup. I couldn’t stop crying all day, and I remember thinking that I just wanted to die. Luckily I knew of the drug’s potential side effects, and I my mom and husband were very supportive. I stopped taking the drug immediately, and the next day I was back to normal, at least emotionally.
There was, however, another side effect that has not gone away, even now after being off it for over a month. Several days after I started taking the drug, I developed an extremely itchy rash on all my toes. My feet also became quite sweaty. The next evening, after my shower, my toes and the ball of one foot became red, hot to the touch, and swollen. The heel and my other foot still felt cool. It went away after about an hour. The same thing happened the next evening to the other foot. It progressed until both feet were flaring up every evening, and the symptoms were lasting all night long. It seemed that it was always triggered by heat. It turns out I had developed a condition called erythromelalgia. My online research has shown a link between SSRIs and erythromelalgia, and I believe that TCAs can have the same effect as well. I’ve read that the excess serotonin in the brain causes the body to stop producing serotonin, and the subsequent depletion of serotonin in the blood then causes a vasodilating effect (hence the redness and swelling).
I can only hope that my body will eventually re-regulate its serotonin levels and these symptoms will eventually go away. The neurologist who prescribed the drug is clueless and very hesitant to admit there is a connection.

nortriptyline (Pamelor)


 3,651 total views

Paxil Survivor – Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil

Paxil Survivor – Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil
Ellen Heath
An Open Letter to Anyone Seeking Information About the Harmful Effects of Psychiatric Drugs:

I am writing my story because I want to do something to help inform people about the harmful effects of antidepressant drugs. It took me several years, after using antidepressant medications for more than ten, to become clear headed enough to figure out what happened to me. I wound up having a minor stroke or a seizure according to the MRI. Now I’m trying to get my life back together.

Here’s what happened:

I went to a Psychiatrist in 1990 because I couldn’t control crying jags at work. I had been sad over a horrible accident that left my 19-year-old son permanently brain injured.

The lady psychiatrist saw me for less than five minutes, announced I was clinically depressed and prescribed Prozac. When I asked, she said it was not habit forming.

I remember feeling almost immediate relief after the first dose (surprising, since she said it would take 3 weeks to take effect). All of the sudden life became wonderful! I sang to myself all day long. I was the life of every party (or so I thought). I began drinking too much and running around like I was on speed. I just had so much fun at everything I did. The world was at my feet and I was setting it on fire! Wow…why didn’t I find these drugs sooner?

But really, as the years went by, I became unattached to the world emotionally. I became very self-centered. I lost a lot of friends. I missed major life occurrences, like the death of my father. I was not there for him during his illness nor was I emotionally present at his funeral. I was absolutely giddy all of the time. My most radical act was to sue my employer. I know now that it’s better not to sue your local government! As I look back at bad life decisions and embarrassing behavior, I can only be grateful that it was not worse. I read daily of cases describing people committing crimes and displaying truly bizarre behavior on these drugs, some turning into homicidal monsters when they try to withdraw. There are people spending the rest of their lives in prison because of these drugs. I realize I am one of the lucky ones to have come out of the fog and be able to tell my story. I have an insecure (shy), reserved personality by nature, and I come from a conservative family. I know now that the ‘drug fog’ kept me from seeing what was really happening in my life for many years. I know now that I would not have made all those bad decisions had I not been on those drugs. These pharmaceuticals that I so trusted to ‘cure’ my disease of depression have altered my entire life.

I realized I wanted off the drugs in the fall of 2001. It was nothing noble on my part that I finally decided to get off (an entirely different and very long story that I am not proud of…we’ll just say I wanted to be clear headed and leave it at that). It took from the fall of 2001 until the fall of 2003. And guess what? By December 2003 I was experiencing severe brain fogginess, mental confusion and panic attacks! I was deathly afraid of what was wrong with me and just as afraid to take any kind of medication to treat the crying jags. At this point, I did not know that I was experiencing was drug withdrawal.

I began to seek help. I had an MRI done because of the terrible brain fog.(1) They found ‘non-specific white focal matter’, which the doctor said could have been caused by a minor stroke or seizure. I searched for answers for an entire year from: three PHD therapists, one medical doctor of internal medicine, one general practitioner MD and one gastroenterologist MD. None of these professionals would discuss withdrawal effects of psych drugs! One guy curtly said in a very harsh tone, “if you want to talk about antidepressant drugs, you have to go to a psychiatrist!” Another, the PHD Psychologist lady, was giddy and scatter-brained. She left me sitting in her waiting room a half hour, then sashayed in laughing hilariously, saying she was so sorry she forgot about our appointment…then she proceeded to prop her feet up on her chair with her keyboard in her lap and and pounded in my name address and insurance information, saying “you know this drill, right?” I told her that I did not want to take antipressant drugs. She quickly explained to me that “our brains need help” and gave me some websites that supported her position. I finished the session with her and asked her not to file a claim on my insurance. I gave her a check. And guess what? The next day there was a claim on my insurance website! The woman obviously was in a world of her own. I suppose I should have written her a thank-you note for yet another example of the bizarre behavior caused by drugs that claim to “help” our brains!

Well, in fairness to these professionals, I was an emotional wreck, and probably presented a scary dilemma to them. While, all doctors may not know about the devastating physical effects these drugs have on our bodies and brains, most of them have heard about suicidal tendencies associated with them, and the well documented stories of people committing horrendous acts either on or while trying to quit these drugs. I’m sure when I mentioned I had recently quit them, I was quite the pariah.

I finally found a psychologist here in Austin, Texas, Dr. John Breeding, that lent me a copy of Ann Blake-Tracy’s tape, ‘Help, I Can’t Get Off My Anti-depressants’. And wow…what a relief! I wasn’t crazy after all. It really was the drugs, as I suspected. I began reading and researching, and discovered that everything that had been happening to me was directly related to the years of antidepressant drug use.

It took a personal crisis for me to wake up. And that’s exactly what happened. The details of the crisis are not important. What’s important is that things had to get pretty bad before I realized that the antidepressant drugs were wrecking my life and absolutely destroying my soul. Author and Psychiatrist Peter Breggin writes about a spellbinding effect these drugs have on people. Believe me, I was spellbound for a long time. I absolutely accepted as truth that these drugs were helping me. Even when I got off of them it took awhile for me to ‘come back’ and fully realize how duped I had been. This year will be the 6th year I am free from those mind captivating drugs, and never have I been tempted to get back on. Each week that goes by I still continue to gain memories and mental clarity.

It’s hard to get over the fact that more than 10 years of my life were lost in a fog because of drugs that doctors said would help me. It feels like my life has been turned totally upside down because of these drugs.

There must be a reason my mind was spared. I am now supporting an effort to enhance public awareness about the harmful effects of SSRI drugs in any way I can. That is the reason for this open letter. Please people …wake up! How many more lives must be ruined before you will see the truth?

I am asking that the medical community embrace the concept of ‘informed consent’. I went to three psychiatrists. None of them were willing to discuss the negative side effects of the SSRI drugs they prescribed for me. I went to professional counselors and psychologists who said ‘our brains need help’ and ‘the drugs help so many people’. Now after extensive reading and researching, I am absolutely disappointed in the prevailing viewpoint by the mental health community that mind-altering drugs are the answer. There is clear scientific evidence that they are not. When I see the giddy, drunken behavior of people on these drugs today, I am simply appalled that they continue to be touted as helpful by professionals who take an oath do ‘do no harm’!

I have started a support group for families, friends and bio-psychiatric drug survivors as a means of helping one another to heal. The lack of support from the medical community made me feel alone and isolated much of the time as I was coming off these drugs. By forming a community support group I hope to be able to help people avoid what I went through by sharing some of the information that is not readily available to the general public. I want to do something to spare people the anguish I went through. The information that I know now that I did not know when I went through all this should be readily available. My question to the medical community is why isn’t it?

It is my opinion that SSRI drug use today is epidemic, and that our society is being adversely affected because of it. It is my belief that those of us who have been on the drugs and successfully withdrawn have a responsibility to spread the truth that we have so painfully learned. We can change the world. We must share our stories and get the truth out there. If you are in a position to spread the word about how harmful psychiatric drugs are, do so…don’t hesitate. If you touch one life, you have made a difference.

Ellen Heath
Transformers Support Group

P. S. Please feel free to contact me at 512-626-7986 or e-mail me at MHEATH3@AUSTIN.RR
(1) Brain fog means: I could not think straight. I felt confused about day to day activities at work (I am a financial analyst), my short term memory was so bad that I could barely put a sentence together, and I just found myself in a state of mental confusion, not knowing if this was my fault or the rest of the world that was askew. Mental confusion is hard to describe because you don’t really recognize it until you have begun to regain your clarity. You get lost on the way to a location that you’ve travelled many times before. You forget names of people that you’ve known for years… you turn the wrong way down a familiar hallway.

 1,967 total views

Discoverer of the opiate binding process…


Candace Pert, the discoverer of the opiate binding process that made Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors possible, is an internationally recognized pharmacologist who has published over 250 scientific articles. She received her Ph.D. in pharmacology from Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, served as Chief of the Section on Brain Biochemistry of the Clinical Neuroscience Branch of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), held a Research Professorship in the Department of Physiology and Biophysics at Georgetown University School of Medicine in Washington, DC, and is currently working in a private company developing an AIDS vaccine in addition to treatments for other diseases.

Dr. Pert appeared in the feature film What the Bleep Do We Know!?? and Bill Moyer’s TV program Healing and the Mind. She is the author of the book Molecules of Emotion: The Scientific Basis Behind Mind-Body Medicine (Scribner, 1997), Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d (Hay House, 2006), and the musical guided imagery CD Psychosomatic Wellness: Healing your Body-Mind.

Dr. Pert publicly came out against Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors in October of 1997 in TIME magazine. She boldly stated: “I am alarmed at the monster that Johns Hopkins neuroscientist Solomon Snyder and I created when we discovered the simple binding assay for drug receptors 25 years ago . . . following is the full quote from Dr. Candace Pert’s TIME magazine letter to the editor:

“I am alarmed at the monster that Johns Hopkins neuroscientist Solomon Snyder and I created when we discovered the simple binding assay for drug receptors 25 years ago. Prozac and other antidepressant serotonin-receptor-active compounds may also cause cardiovascular problems in some susceptible people after long-term use, which has become common practice despite the lack of safety studies.

“The public is being misinformed about the precision of these selective serotonin-uptake inhibitors when the medical profession oversimplifies their action in the brain and ignores the body as if it exists merely to carry the head around! In short, these molecules of emotion regulate every aspect of our physiology. A new paradigm has evolved, with implications that life-style changes such as diet and exercise can offer profound, safe and natural mood elevation.”

Dr. Candace B. Pert

Letter to the Editor of TIME Magazine, October 20, 1997, page 8.

Click for ordering information about Candace Pert’s Book and Cassette

 11,437 total views,  8 views today

Samples of Zoloft and Xanax turn Brother into Criminal

I am unforgiving of a medical profession who cares so little for the very human beings that they swore to help.”


After 9 long and horrible years you cannot know the relief that I am feeling after reading about all the experiences that I have read tonight.

My brother is currently serving a twenty-year sentence for a crime so completely and totally out of character for him that I am still astounded.

This was a young man who could be considered irresponsible and unmotivated at worst, at least until he started taking the prescription drugs Zoloft and Xanax.

After a period of depression that I knew then and know now to have been brought on my a sense of low self esteem my brother went to a doctor he had never been to before and explained how he was feeling. This doctor determined in less than thirty minutes of knowing my brother that what he had was “a chemical imbalance in his brain”. This man sent him home with an entire sample box of Zoloft and an entire box of Xanax. He promised my brother that he would be a brand new man in three months. He did not lie. Three months later my brother was someone that I did not know.

Buddy Joe never drank, ever. He just didn’t like it. Yet after taking the drugs for a while he began to crave alcohol. He started introducing himself to new people using the name Austin. When we questioned him he would say that he just liked the name better. He was never, and I want to stress the never part, violent. So what he was becoming was an agitated alcoholic named Austin.

He had been out all night drinking and I later learned through friends acting extremely wild. He came home and committed a crime that I still find too difficult to actually go into. He says he remembers that night like a strobe light blinking off and on in his head.

I have spent nine years knowing that the Zoloft was behind the events leading up to that night and I am so thankful to have read the different stories sent in by so many people with different and yet similar experiences.

My heart breaks for those who have lost those that they love to the horrors of these medications. But I am unforgiving of a medical profession who cares so little for the very human beings that they swore to help.

Thank you all for sharing your stories.


Annette Royce



This is Survivor Story number 31.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 1,359 total views,  1 views today

Effexor gave me the urge to take my life.

“Anybody who says Effexor is not dangerous is lying”


I am 36 years old with 2 children. Last year was a traumatic year, splitting up with my children’s father, losing a baby, working 46 hours per week and starting another relationship with mentally cruel man. In September my doctor put me on Effexor 75mg for depression, which started me on a downward spiral with hideous side effects.

Anybody who says Effexor is not dangerous is lying. After 2 months on the drug, I stuck a hose to my exhaust pipe of my car, took 2 sleeping tablets so I would not wake up and get out, and went to sleep. EIGHT hours later I awoke, and drove home dejected and angry. All of this was on 300mg of Effexor. I plummeted even further, slashing my wrists over 100 times, and never once did I miss a dose.

I was sleeping approx 4 hours per night, put on 10 kilos with no real change in my diet and the brain zaps were very real. I decided to wean myself off the tablets against my doctors advise, and had the worst week of my life. Fast-forward to now 6 weeks later, and I truly believe Effexor gave me the urge to take my life. I feel fantastic, in control and nearly normal. I no longer plot my death or have the urge to cut. The only thing I can thank Effexor for is sorting out my true friends in this world. My suicide attempts were very serious ones, not telling anybody beforehand and by all accounts I should be dead. If it were not for unleaded petrol, I would be. The difference is, it would not be from suicide, it would have been from Effexor.



This is Survivor Story number 43.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 1,377 total views,  1 views today

I Thought I was Going Totally Mad

“My doc took me off 50mgs of Seroxat / Paxil cold turkey.”



I spent 7 days thinking that I was going totally mad in July of this year after My doc took me off 50mgs of Seroxat / Paxil cold turkey

I genuinely believed that it was the “real me” coming out underneath & for a week really thought I was going out of my mind – then I did a search & found your site & realized I was not alone – your group literally saved my life

It took 6 weeks of brain shocks / zaps & countless other forms of GSB torture & side effects from the drug before I was better

I decided to set up my own group in late summer to try & give something back, so hopefully no one would ever go through the withdrawal hell I went through

Since then I believe we have created a really sound bunch of people (over 12,000 postings)

Quite often I have relayed stories & postings from your group & we (our group) have helped save many lives (I do not make that claim not lightly)

I ask that you can invite your members to visit our group & would welcome our entire membersship to visit yours

Yours Sincerely
Rory Stokes (Group Founder)depression-anxiety

Our link is:-

Rory Stokes



This is Survivor Story number 46.
Total number of stories in current database is 48

 1,362 total views

Strange Colors on Paxil

“…my brain started freaking out inside over colors .”


Hi I would like to share my own experience with Paxil as it has been unlike any other I have heard of. I was given Paxil for what my family doctor thought I was suffering from a anxiety disorder. I took Paxil for a period of two weeks when I noticed that it was severely changing thought patterns and decided to abruptly quit. I was not warned of any serious problems with stopping the medication and suffered a breakdown three days later. I contacted the doctor who gave me the Paxil and was told to start the medication again. The symptoms I suffered from stopping seemed to vanish within a few days, but then after staying with the medication for a period of almost 3 months or better was when I was struck all of the sudden one day with the most bizarre thing that I never have heard or dreamed of could happen.

I awoke okay and went to work on a project that day when in a split second my brain started freaking out inside over colors and I am talking about colors that actually exist like the paint job on your car for example. Not only was my brain going bizarre over colors but also started firing thoughts through over them and crashing out emotionally and mentally. At the end of the week I was totally devastated. I could not hardly look at any single object in my house without my brain producing these same symptoms over and over.

I realized that Paxil was probably to blame since these sort of things just do not happen. I threw the medicine away at the end of that week and called the doctor who gave it to me. I was told that it could not be the Paxil and was treated like a nut case.

I went on to suffer horribly for a month when I seemed to get somewhat better. Although I never quite recovered. I felt as if I was getting better each day but the problem continued to exist slightly. After a period of 6 months I had my brain totally relapse again and produce identical symptoms all over again. It now has been 2 years since this has happened, and I am still not free of these symptoms.

What Paxil did to me is a mystery. I have never heard of the brain going screwed up over colors like this when there is no reason for it. I truly hope that no one else ever has to live with something like this. And to this day no doctor even knows what has happened. Nor have I ever found anyone who has suffered anything similar to what I have.

If anyone had experienced such a thing I have never heard of it, as maybe they are not around to tell of it. But one thing is for certain, and that is that an SSRI can do things that no one has heard of.

Randy Shine



This is Survivor Story number 34.
Total number of stories in current database is 34

 1,463 total views,  2 views today

Paxil Ruined My Life

“I thought I’d seek assistance for being a little shy.” “..Paxil ruined my brain.”


Last year, as I was facing my final two semesters of college, I thought I’d seek assistance for being a little shy. I thought it’d be helpful to lose the shyness so that I could better function in the seminar classes that I had to take prior to graduation. Further, I believed that it would help me when I finally went out to look for my first big job. I talked with a psychologist and a psychiatrist, and they finally gave me Paxil.

Paxil makes one do things he or she wouldn’t normally do. It makes you care about little to nothing other than, perhaps, making yourself happy. One just stops considering the consequences.

Prior to taking the drug, I had a 4.0 GPA, a perfect driving record, perfect credit, and got along well with just about everyone around me. Within two weeks of going on it, I received my first ticket for allegedly running a stop sign. The police officer actually had me get out of the car because my eyes gave him the impression that I was on Meth or drunk. Another cop pulled up in a second car to cover me from another angle, while holding a flashlight on me. They treated me like I was dangerous or something! When I told him that I was taking Paxil, he informed me that I could be arrested for being under the influence of it. Eventually he let me go.

A week or two later, I was involved in my first auto accident. I was driving at an unsafe speed. While on the drug, I did a lot of weaving through traffic. I suddenly became the worst driver in the world. One night it caught up with me, as I lost the ability to differentiate the shoulder of the road and the driving lanes. I ended up hitting some markers on the left side of the freeway, then sliding across three lanes into sand-filled barrels on the other side. My car and the barrels were destroyed. When I was in Urgent Care following the accident, a trauma doctor told me that I should consider getting off Paxil. He noticed that I didn’t even seem to be all that effected by the fact that I had just been involved in a major accident, which could have taken my life, the lives of others’, and which did destroy my car. He told me that most anyone else would have been crying and shaking, but my heart rate was pretty calm. Over the next month or so, I was stopped a total of three more times and received one additional citation. This means I’m just one ticket away from losing my license here.

In addition to driving problems, I let my work in school slide as well. I was near the end of college. It was a shame. Paxil made me to where I did not care about my classes. I just decided that finals weren’t important, and I didn’t bother to study for them. I still managed to get A’s in all but one class, but in one class, I failed the final and received a D on my transcript. Suddenly my GPA fell from 4.0 to 3.88.

With regard to credit, I went out and charged all of my credit cards to the max, without worrying about whether or not I could pay them off. Deep down inside, I had the delusion that I could easily cover the bills. When the bills started to come, I could only pay them for so long. Eventually I started to have trouble doing so. Now my credit is terrible.

Finally, I was cold toward my family and friends. I was not too worried about hurting anyone. People became objects to me. I had no emotions. I felt little to nothing. My thoughts were not right. When you don’t care about anything, you can be a destructive individual.

When I finally tried to come off the drug after a couple of months, I had difficulty doing so. I became very sick with flu-like symptoms, but I never get sick from the flu. For about a month, I threw up three to four times a day. I couldn’t get the thought of dying off of my mind. My regular physician couldn’t help me get better. So I eventually entered the hospital. After a night there, things started to get better. I threw up just a few more times.

Even though I quit the drug, I couldn’t make the consequences magically disappear. They’re still there, and a model life has been destroyed. Now I’m shy again. And who knows? Maybe Paxil damaged my brain. I don’t feel like I’m as sharp as I used to be. Thank God I didn’t physically hurt anyone else or myself (other than the minor injuries sustained in the auto accident). I imagine that it can be much worse for others, especially those who have serious personal problems prior to taking the drug.



This is Survivor Story number 32.
Total number of stories in current database is 34

 2,228 total views,  2 views today