“The good little voice in my head is being blown away by the bad voice.”
I am a 26 year old, married mother of two. At 21, I began having panic attacks which became so severe I couldn’t leave my home and struggled if anyone came to my home.
A doctor put me on Zoloft. At the time it made life livable again and I am thankful for that. Instead of facing my problem I put a band aid on it. Little did I know it was filled with toxic medicine. After several years I began panicking again and was prescribed Paxil. I took all feeling of panic away. It also took my creativity, spirituality, and core self away. After 6 months I began having strange thoughts about hurting people and myself. I became pessimistic and hateful. The past few months it has became much worse.
The good little voice in my head is being blown away by the bad voice. I want to do destructive things to property and other people. Lately I feel like if I killed myself before I act out these twisted fantasies I could save my soul before its too late. I am normally happy, optimistic and think before I do anything. I love kids and animals. These feelings seem like a demon rather than me. I’ve consulted several doctors with the research I’ve found on Paxil and its terrible reactions.
They want to up my dose. Most say I should go to a mental hospital for evaluations. None will even consider helping me get off this drug. They will be more then happy to drug you but won’t touch you if you want to come off. I am currently searching for a good psychologist and medical doctor that will consider helping me off.
I never had anything like this prior to taking Paxil. What I thought was my angel turned into a demon.
please DO NOT LET MORE PEOPLE TAKE THIS DRUG!!!!!!!!!!
Jeremy Kendall
jj323@tetonwireless.com
This is Survivor Story number 41.
Total number of stories in current database is 77
9/24/2003
