“Prozac is the scariest thing that ever happened to me.”
I am a 19 year old female. I struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, it peaking at the age of 14. When I turned 16, I couldn’t take it anymore and begged my mother to get me help. After seeking help from a psychologist and it being unsuccessful I finally agreed to try out Anti-Depressants.
I can’t remember all the kinds of A.D.’s I tried but I do remember that it took a while before I could find one that worked for me. One of the med’s my doc had me try was Prozac. Prozac is the scariest thing that ever happened to me. While before I would sleep all the time to “get away from the world” Prozac gave me insomnia. At night I would curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out uncontrollably. Thoughts of suicide emerged that were so intense that the only thing that kept me alive is that I was sobbing too hard to do anything. I had suicide thoughts before but it was more of a passive feeling, like “I hate life and want to die, but if it doesn’t happen now oh well.” The suicide feelings brought on my Prozac were so intense that I felt I needed to do it NOW; I couldn’t put off killing myself.
I remember being so scared of these feelings that one night while I cried my eyes out I walked to my mom’s room and woke her up, told her all the feelings. She told me to quit taking them and called my doc first thing in the morning. I waited to say something because 1) I thought Prozac just took a little while longer to take effect or that I didn’t wait long enough from the kind of A.D. I tried before and 2) I thought no one would believe me because it makes no sense for a medication that’s supposed to treat suicidal tendencies to be causing them, especially not a medication that has been around for so many years!
I like to add that I found Buspar to be effective in easing my depression but after I took it for a while I began to get extremely mean. Finally I found Effexor XR to be the best for me. I never had problems with it and I have been off for almost 2 years and am still fine.