“Do not and I mean do not give in to the medication!”
DO NOT TAKE CELEXA!!!! ITS POISON!!!!
My story with Celexa started on 2001. I was diagnosed with “panic disorder and depression” I was 16 then and I had been suffering from panic attacks since I was 13, so at the time Celexa was the only thing I turned to in order to help. I lost about 10 pounds and everyone thought I was anorexic, but Celexa made me not want to eat at all which sucked. I could go days without eating, with just water on it. Celexa did stop my panic attacks, and I started becoming more friendly with people and more social. I think while I was on the drug I experienced 2-3 panic attacks (which was probably due to stress from college) I decided to stop the medication because I realized it was not me. I was never doing the things that I was doing, and deep down inside I knew that it was not me doing these things but the drug. The drug made me very happy, worry-free, and stress-free, but that’s not reality. I was on top of the world, but was I? Certainly! not, it was Celexa! The drug made me feel so euphoric, I would feel happy all the time, but that’s not how life is!!! You have bad times and good times, you can’t always be happy. I talked to my father about it, and he suggested that I stopped taking the medication because its not me, and I don’t want to be taking it all my life. There were just too many side effects. I was constantly hyper, I had no worries, I was getting high, and meeting the wrong people. My father suggested we find a reasonable psychiatrist who does not use medication. We both knew it would be 2 times harder to deal with the problem, without Celexa, but then it will be gone forever and I don’t have to worry about medication for the rest of my life.
I quit Celexa and I decided to take my life into my hands. My doctor of course did not like this, she said that medication is the key and all this bullshit about how since I am an active user to the medication I will need it for the rest of my life. I talked to her about counseling, 1 on 1 with someone and if that would work, she said “no, medication is the best thing”. I asked her why I am feeling this way, I remember as a young child I was anxious all the time, I asked if maybe it was caused by me being sexually abused and she said “no, that sexual abuse has nothing to do with it”. That was the most shocking thing anyone ever said to me, I know now she is an idiot. I have never sat down and explored the trauma that went on while I was abused, so I will have to do so and maybe that is what’s causing all this anxiety.
When I mentioned the sexual abuse, she threw Celexa at me, I should have known better, but I was only 16 at the time. She didn’t even try to hear me out, she said “oh wow I’m sorry or something” and never bothered to ask what went on or why, so I’m wondering if that’s what causes me to feel so shitty all the time.
Anyway, so I finally decided to quit Celexa and 2-3 days after I called her and I said “I feel terrible, depressed, couldn’t walk, dizzy, couldn’t eat” and all she told me was that “she needs to see me to subscribe me more medication, maybe Celexa isn’t doing it for me”. Here I am trying to quit this medication with my families support and she wants to throw more at me. I finally went to see her and guess what, yep she wanted to offer me more medication, this time she said Paxil and Prozac are better for anxiety! It makes me sick to my stomach that she is not willing to listen to anyone, and just wants to give them medication like they are some kind of plant. I refused the medication and walked out with my father. I did not make an appointment.
While I was on the internet I met other SSRI users on a website and they guided me through all this. All this time I had been lied to and it does not feel good, but luckily good people still exist. At first when I stopped the medication, I thought I had a brain tumor, or brain damage, the headaches were so intense that I couldn’t even stand up. I had to lie to my friends about my condition, because I felt ashamed to tell them anything. I would cry, my heart was racing so fast(I had the worst tachycardia, which is still there, but not as intense as before), any type of noise would get to me, one minute I was crying and the next I was laughing or yelling at my family for no reason. What’s worse is that I could not eat at all, my father was getting scared, he would get me the Flintstones vitamins (I liked those as a child) so I ate those. But the vitamins were not enough, so I went to the ER 2 times and they found nothing wrong with me. I had to get food injected in me. I went to my primary doctor and she said I was fine also. I didn’t leave my house for 4 weeks except for the visit to the ER.
I called up my psychiatrist and asked her about withdrawal symptoms of Celexa, and she said “You shouldn’t be doing this to yourself, come and see me” . Me and my father were a little scared so went, I thought maybe I had messed up myself worse, and I had no one else to turn to, so we went.
Like I expected she said the medication does not do damage it remains in the body for 2 days, 2 days? yeah, right lady!! She said there are no withdrawal symptoms, and she suggested I try another medication, I said no and me and my father left again.
After that I did research on the internet and found out that there are withdrawal symptoms but no psychiatrist will tell you about it. What a sad world it is!!! I started talking to others and getting advice from people on how to cope with this. I was so anxious and I didn’t know what was happening inside my body. Right now I have been off the medication for 8 weeks exactly, and I feel better than before. I still get minor headaches, and dizziness, and I feel a little anxious but other than that I am just glad to be alive. The tachycardia is also there. I just pray to God that this drug did not leave any damage behind.
8 weeks ago I thought I was dying from a brain tumor. Now, I know to stay the hell away from anti-depressants, I don’t think I want to touch those medications again, they are scary. I feel so used! These people made money of my fake happiness.
I have been thinking about how the medication tricked my mind into thinking that I am “happy” but why am I happy? I’m not happy because I really want to be happy, I am happy because Celexa made me happy. I now realize that I will have to work harder to overcome my depression and anxiety than just rely on a stupid pill. Pills are not for everyone, I do not want to struggle all my life on medication. I want to have a family someday, and be able to live a normal life without scaring my husband, or my kids away every so often, when Celexa, or Paxil does not seem to do the trick. I do not think there is anything wrong with me, and I honestly have no reason to be depressed now, maybe I did back then because I was a teenager but now my life is better, I think this all has to do with the sexual abuse I’ve been through even though my psychiatrist seems to think it does not.
My advice to those who are depressed is to eat good, exercise, and keep a positive mind. A drug will only make you worse and you will regret the day you ever took the medication, I know I do. We are being used, and thrown medication to make others rich, it is a sad world. The drug companies should be ashamed of doing this , but are they? No, and I doubt they ever will be. I am not one to try and get back at others, or punish them, but I know that they will get what they deserve from God.
I hope I changed anyone’s mind who tries to take this type of medication. If you want to be a happier person you will have to work hard for it, because no medication in the world will help you achieve what you want, unless you, and only YOU really want it. If anyone wants advice with any of this feel free to e-mail me, we are all victims!! The medications will only bring you down. Exercise, eat healthy, and keep a positive mind !!!
Symptoms you might experience if you quit Celexa..(Remember each person is different, this is what I felt)
Headaches(extreme), dizziness, tachycardia, loss of appetite, no energy, crying spells, constantly pissed off at the world, getting angry easily, weird dreams, insomnia, weird feelings throughout your body, feelings that you are not alive, or lost in some kind of dream, anxiety, hot flashes, bothered by noises(the TV, the radio)
Things you should watch out for. (Things that bothered me)
Sugar, caffeine, stress, driving, long days, don’t worry about jobs, school, etc (You will have all the time in the world to work and go to school)
Things that you should do. (They helped me)
Remove all negative thoughts from your mind, and replace them with positive, think of good times(your first kiss, date, dance, etc), exercise(Yoga, Meditation, Swimming, Running, walking, remember to start slow), eat home cooked meals, (fish, Vitamin B) drink plenty of water(wash out the system faster) Surround yourself with people that you love, that will make you smile, and laugh.(not those who will cause pain or stress) Also take vitamins daily. It does not matter what you do, or for what reason you do it, as long as it helps you get better, don’t pay attention to how people react to you, each person is handles things differently..
And most importantly…
Do not and I mean do not give in to the medication ! Think about it, we are the victims here, we are being used to make others rich (the drug companies) Do you think they care about us? No, if they did they would have taken their time to help us by therapy and not thrown medication at us. Do you know how much money they get from those pills? Why do you think they go on vacations every so often, drive nice cars, and have all this money? FROM US!!! We are the suckers. Do not get mad and do not give in to them. Fight for yourself, fight to stay alive, and make them pay for what they did to us! Do you know that the human brain is smarter than any damn pill out there, it took a human being to invent that medication, so it will take a human brain (yours and mine) to invent our own medication!! If they did it, so can we!!!! Just think what you could do with all the money, you will have to waste on medication, and remember that it will go to some sucker who does not care about me or you, only his or her pocket.
Lastly, I just want to say that this experienced made me realize that life is too short, we bitch, and complain about the little things, but in reality, there is too much out there… I think Socrates said it best, “The unexamined life is not worth living,” So forget the pills, and get out there, there’s something waiting for YOU and ME!!!