I quit cold turkey. Big mistake! Five days later I ended up in the hospital emergency.
I knew something was really wrong.
On September 1997, I went to see my doctor to complain, for the fifth time, (I had seen my doctor five times that month) of nausea and that I had very little energy. She got upset with me and told me that I was in denial, and that my problem was really depression. She prescribed me Zoloft.
At that time, I had just began my first semester in university. My illness did not go away. I felt sick and run down. Six weeks went by, and one day I got violently sick and ended up in the hospital. As it turns out, the reason I had been ill was not because of a depression I knew I had, but because I had a viral infection that had gone untreated for months.
After I was treated for this infection, I continued taking Zoloft, as I thought it my help me cope with my final exams. I continued taking Zoloft or a few months and finally decided to come off the drug. I quit cold turkey. Big mistake! Five days later I ended up in the hospital emergency.
I knew something was really wrong. The psychiatrist re-ordered Zoloft, and the withdrawal effects quickly disappeared.
After that experience, I knew that I could not quit this drug abruptly, so, a year later, I tried the tapering off method. I went from 150 mg to 50 mg in a matter of four months. The withdrawals became progressively worst, to the point that I could no longer function normally. I had difficulty putting words together; my short term memory was greatly disturbed and I felt like I as losing all mental capacity. I could not read anymore; a pass time I really enjoyed. I could no longer write; and writing was one of my favorite hobbies. To make a long story short, I had to start taking Zoloft again at a dose of 100 ml, just to be able to function.
I have been on Zoloft since 1997.Zoloft ruined my life. Sure, I was depressed before 1997, but at least, then, I was in control of my life. I had some good days. Now the good days are few and far between.(I can’t remember when I felt joy.)I went from being a functional woman with drive and hope for the future; to a scared nervous wreck. I don’t even look or feel the same anymore. Its like being someone else. Before Zoloft, I always kept my house clean and tidy; I weighed 120 pounds and looked great; I had hobbies which kept me sane; I had a support system and my family admired and praised me. Now, I weigh 208 pounds; I little confidence and drive; I used to be good with money but now I have maxed out my credit; I have become an angry and bitter person; I have thoughts of suicide every day; I have no friends left; In sum, I am not me anymore.
Three days ago, I decided to quit cold turkey again. I am writing this now, because I know that in a few days, I won’t be able to put one word in front of the other. I already feel the withdrawals. Every time I move, my eyes lose focus and my head feels funny. It feels like it skips a beat. Its very difficult to describe and to tell the truth, I don’t want to see my doctor because he won’t take me seriously. Since I’ve been on Zoloft, I have attempted suicide 11 times. I want myself back. I want that drug out of my system and only hope that it hasnt caused permanent physical damage.
Zoloft ruined my life.
This is Survivor Story number 8.
Total number of stories in current database is 48
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