BIPOLAR MEDS: Suicide of Aristocrat: England

Paragraphs four & five read:  ”

He said:  ‘He was a very lovely chap, but had a problem with bipolar disorder. He had hit a low and decided it was enough.”

“‘He’d been ok for years, but recently he’d had a turn for the worse. I think something may have gone wrong with his medication and he decided life wasn’t worth living’.”

Tower block death victim identified as aristocrat
06 August 2009

Milo Douglas
Sanchez Manning

AN ARISTOCRAT whose son leapt to his death from a Paddington tower block has described the depression he suffered from as “a black hole of misery”.

Milo Douglas
Lord Milo Douglas, 34, is believed to have thrown himself off the nine-storey Reading House on the Hallfield council estate last month.

Speaking at the family home in Maida Hill, his father David, the 12th Marquess of Queensberry, told of his son’s ongoing struggle with bipolar disorder – also known as manic depression.

He said: “He was a very lovely chap, but had a problem with bipolar disorder. He had hit a low and decided it was enough.

“He’d been ok for years, but recently he’d had a turn for the worse. I think something may have gone wrong with his medication and he decided life wasn’t worth living.”

The 79-year-old added that his son’s condition was like “another country – a black hole of misery”.

Lord Milo was pronounced dead by paramedics after his lifeless body was discovered in front of Reading House at 6.30am on July 21. His death followed a similar incident at nearby Exeter House a year ago.

His father said he did not have any links to the Hallfield Estate but had gone there with the intention of killing himself.

Despite his recent downward spiral, the Marquess said he had no clue that his son was planning to take his own life.

He revealed that Lord Douglas had left his job as a fundraiser for Action Against Hunger a few months earlier, but said this was because he was looking for a change.

Paying tribute to his son’s good character, he said: “He was the most natural, kind and loving person of all the people I know.

“He was hugely loved and I never heard anyone say a nasty word against him. He was the least malevolent person I ever met.”

Lord Milo attended the private Dauntsey’s School, in Devizes, Wiltshire, before going on to Manchester University to study history. He comes from an extensive family of eight brothers and three sisters and is second in line to the historic title of the Marquess of Queensberry.

His mother Alexa is a former model and was his father’s now estranged second wife.

His lineage dates back to 1637 and his ancestors include the ninth Marquess, John Sholto Douglas, who endorsed the Queensberry Rules of Boxing in the 19th century and famously brought criminal proceedings against Oscar Wilde.

He accused the writer of having an affair with his son, Bosie, Lord Alfred Douglas, a crime for which Wilde was eventually jailed.

The controversy surrounding the family was renewed when it emerged that Lord Milo’s stepsister, Carrie Carey, had married two of Osama Bin Laden’s sons – Salam Bin Laden, who died in an air crash in 1988, and then Khaled Bin Laden.

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My Fear of Falling into Madness

“From the first day I took Zoloft, my life has been miserable.”


I am 23 years old and I’ve been taking psychiatric drugs on and off for the past 8 years. I was first aware something was not right with me when I was 13 and started to experience elevated emotions, whether they were sad or happy or together they where extreme.

At 15 they diagnosed me with manic depression and started treatment with Prozac…which in turn made me manic.

After that bad experience I took no more drugs for 4 years, other than the occasional tranquilizer.

In college I had my first “real” episode and again, at 19 started taking drugs. This time it was Zoloft. From that day on my life has been miserable. I had to drop out of college with only one more year to finish. When I was 22 I had already been hospitalized 7 times (the longest being 45 days long). I’ve had two sessions of ECT and have taken over 25 prescription drugs.

Since I am a rapid cycler, it’s been three years now and I have not been able to get a job, continue my studies or be functional. The few months I have of remission after each episode I use to recover and regain my strength. And although I might be fine, I live each day with the fear of falling into madness.

The reason I write this is because among those 25 drugs I’ve taken, I took Zyprexa. I did not consider myself a fat person. I was not skinny, and I was not fat. When I took Zyprexa I gained 100 pounds. I used to be a size ten and (before I lost some weigh) I was a size 20. (now I am 14-16). With all of my “psychiatric problems” I am thankful that I don’t care about my image as many other do. I mean, I did not die because I was fat.

But that is not all. With Zyprexa I also lost my period for 5 months. And then had it back for 2 months straight. I was in the hospital at the time so they stopped my period. If not, I would never know how much longer it would have been. On a good note, my hair grew a lot and my eyelashes too. My doctor told me that all of these hormonal change had occurred because Zyprexa made me secrete a hormone that is only secreted by pregnant women.

Zyprexa also made me hypertensive and zoomed up my cholesterol levels. So in addition of taking almost 5 different meds a day I also had to take pills for my cholesterol and hypertension.

Zyprexa so far has been the drug that gave me the most side effects. But that also happened because I had an incompetent psychiatrist that gave me a dose up to 45mg!!!! When the top dosage was 20mg.

This man took advantage of me. When I first saw him (he is supposed to be an expert on bipolar disorder and me and my family went all the way to Harvard to see him) he asked me what was the drug that helped me the most. And I said Zyprexa. At that time I took Zyprexa occasionally and only when I was in crisis.

Since I lived in Richmond with my sister, every time I had a crisis or something happened my sister would call and he would up my dose 5mg each time. He totally overmedicated me. And for that I had to suffer more. My sister was no doctor. She did not know the harm she was doing me.

I stopped taking Zyprexa last year. And I have lost 50 pounds. I am not hypertensive anymore, and my cholesterol is back to normal. However, I could have died of a diabetic coma and God knows what else could have happened me. I know there have been people who have died because of Zyprexa. Specially of diabetes. There are around 300 deaths. It must be stopped.

After my last crisis my current doctor (I’ve seen around 10) decided that I should not take medicine anymore, and that I should just live my life. I am in the process of withdrawal. I am taking lithium now (been for a while) which gave me severe psoriasis. I don’t know what else I am taking, since my parents are the only ones who know where and what I take.

I don’t know if my current state (depressed but not psychotic) is due to the lack of medication. I know that I am taking less than half a dose that I used to take.
I hope that maybe no medication will actually make me better. And that my problems are just psychological and not biochemical. I read a lot of RD Laing and I believe in what he says, I just hope life would give me the chance to a full and normal life.

In a good note. I just want to point out that there are good psychiatrists. My third psychiatrist who I had to leave because I moved out of town, was the best. Since I was a college student he charged me less than his normal fee. He would see me at any time of the day. He did not believe in drug companies. And he gave me my meds for free. He was also very hesitant of giving me lithium because he knew it would flare up my (at that time mild) psoriasis. He never gave me labels…in fact he never ever told me that I was bipolar…I had to force him. When I did he said he did not believe in labels…he believed in human beings. I miss him and I know that anyone who has the privilege to have him as a doctor is in great hands.

I hate drug companies, and the capitalist system. We all have the right to get well and worse than not being able to buy meds, is the fact that because of that system we are being forced to take meds and get sick to fill their pockets with filthy money.

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A Doctor’s Life Destroyed

“…Prozac destroyed my life.”

I am (was) a physician and a Prozac survivor, although it is only recently that I have become convinced that it (Prozac) destroyed my life, and even now continues to affect my ability to regain and restore my “sanity”. I am still its victim even though I have not taken it since 1990/1991.

In 1984-89 I was a successful family physician with my own private practice. I had one of the most prestigious practices and a new beautiful building. In 1989 I paid taxes on an income of $l60, 000 and a gross of over $400,000. I owned a country estate worth over $350,000 on the most beautiful lake in the county and had accumulated a business inventory of over $500,000 including equity in my medical office building. I had a family including three lovely children. I enjoyed hobbies of game, fishing, hunting, travel, and antique acquisitions.

In 1989 I became extremely depressed due to job burn out, marital discord, mid-life crisis, and identity crisis. I sought professional “help” and in the course of counseling and treatment was prescribed Prozac. Everything in my life dissolved within the next 9 months. I ended up abusing alcohol, then drugs (I had been vehemently against drugs all my life until then).

The Prozac led me to the quest of suicide and drug addiction, and I lost my sanity and all my self-discipline in a binge of irrational behaviors I never dreamed I might be capable of. Consequently my life has been a nightmare of psychiatric and alcohol-drug treatment centers, various (incorrect?) diagnoses of chronic depression vs. obsessive-compulsive disorder vs. manic-depression vs. mid-life crisis and professional burnout vs. alcoholism- drug abuse etc. etc. I have been to AA, NA, SSA, groups, half-way houses, physician recovery houses, various physician self-help plans and on many different medications including more Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin (Zyban), Desyril, Lithium and other antidepressants in my search to regain what was taken from me by Prozac. I have battled to regain my self dignity and professional esteem with little (limited) permanent success since 1990.

At present I have lost my family, my house, my practice my office building, my medical reputation and all my financial resources including retirement plans cashed out to pay medical expenses. I have intermittently practiced my profession, punctuated by periods of relapse into melancholy, suicide ideations, deep depression and manic or hypomanic behavior leading to alcohol and drug abuse. I have spent a large fortune to save myself from this other irrational “being” that was “born” when I was placed on Prozac in 1989-1990 –this “Mr. Hyde”: who refuses to even now completely go away.

After my last relapse in Feb. 96 I have been unable to work and, if not for a few close friends, I would be homeless. I am presently near the end of my ability to cope with all that has happened and have minimal hope that the future will bring any permanent relief from the mental afflictions which Prozac unleashed on me 6 years or so ago. Parts of my life are just Blanks, spaces of horror I loathe to even remember.

I was discarding my medical papers when I came across your letter of July 1995 detailing the Lilly cover-up [in the Wesbecker case in Louisville, KY]. I never pursued my plans to sue Eli Lilly in 1991-92 after the FDA and the courts gave Prozac the legal “cover” they needed to discourage any future lawsuits. I approached lawyers who refused any contingency fee legal actions after the FDA came to their [Eli Lilly’s] rescue and the civil suits were “dismissed”. (They estimated $50,000 to start action.).

Your letter and accompanying information in Judge Potter’s petition to the Kentucky Court of Appeals and Lilly’s secret settlements are indeed an “eye opener” for me as a former practicing physician and myself a victim of Prozac. I still consider suicide as an escape from this pain and anguish, this mental and physical hell I’ve gone through, but maybe “revenge” (legal) would be more appropriate. Is there any hope??

I would be happy to share my story with any other victims or to the public, TV. Or press if it might keep anyone else from suffering this horrible fate and oblivion that Prozac has caused in my life; (what’s left of it). Maybe one day the truth will be known and there will be some justice for all of us.

Hoping for a better future, and for truth and justice–

Thank you for listening,

(name withheld by request)



Years 2000 and Prior

This is Survivor Story number 39.
Total number of stories in current database is 96

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