Tortured Like A Lab Rat for 17 Years – Zyprexa and Zeldox
Courage Grows Strong at a Wound
Paula ”vaquous” Stewart
The following was written in July 2011 – I was in a state of panic and very, very ill.
I was very tired and I had not eaten properly for days – this was in 1994. I went to a restaurant with my sister and had an argument. I decided to leave the restaurant abruptly (Basha on Guy). I walked so fast that my sister Sylvia did not see me All I remember is walking quickly and I ended up on a “bridge” where I collapsed. I then remember being in a vehicle and being driven somewhere – I did not know by whom or where I was being driven to.
The next thing I remember is being dragged into a hospital in Richelieu by armed Police and then placed in restraints in this hospital. I was eventually transferred to the Montreal General Hospital (MGH) once they realized that I had my own apartment in Downtown Montreal.
I was taken to the 4th floor of the hospital, unconscious. They injected me with Haldol. My mother who lived in Chambly took a bus to find me at the hospital. They told her that I had Schizophrenia and that it was a debilitating disease. Therefore, I would not be able to take care of myself. They then tried to coerce her to sign documents to place me into a Group Home. My Mother was in shock over the condition her daughter was in. They never explained in detail why they felt I needed to be in a Group Home — she flatly refused to sign any documents.
They gave me pills, took my blood, imposed all kinds of rules on me that I had to follow, in order to be released – They never gave me a release date even though I asked. They kept me in the Psyche Ward for three months against my will. If my Mother did not pay my rent and all of my other bills for the three months, I would have been homeless at the time of release.
I was then forced to take medication for 17 years against my will — forced to participate in Therapy sessions with two Medical Teams from the MGH and now at the Allen Memorial Institute without signing any documents. Occupational Therapy, Collective Kitchen, Group Therapy, individual counselling — all against my will. The Medication they gave me was so strong that I was sleeping on average 12-14 hours a day. My vision was blurred, I was dizzy, forced onto Welfare and with little money – not eating well and I could not work for long stretches of time— for years.
They say that I have Paranoid Schizophrenia and then the changed my diagnosis to Schizoaffective Disorder without explanation. On many, many occasions I have asked my Medical Team to show me empirical proof that I indeed have these DSM disorders. They told me that there is no empirical proof- no scientific test. Then I asked them, repeatedly “so how do you know I have this condition?” No answer. I have asked them to observe me without the neuroleptics and to just offer me “talk therapy” instead– they all flatly refused. I was also told that there were no natural ways to treat Schizophrenia (See two lists of references from the Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psyciatric Drugs)
Dr. V also mentioned to me, while my social worker was present, that “all neuroleptics are all basically the same with different side-effects.” — This was said after I told him that I wanted to stop taking these Meds (Zeldox), because I was getting sicker and sicker. He down-played my concerns, although the Zeldox pamphlet mentions to discuss with your health professional if you have any side effects — I have had over ten side effects listed on their Zeldox Website!
I almost died this year and it was a wake-up call to take action –TO SAVE MY LIFE!
There is a long list of side effects of Zyprexa and Zeldox and many are life threatening (sudden death is one). I told my medical team that I wanted to stop all medication. They denied me my Civil Rights and my Human Rights for 17 years and to this day continue to prevent me from stopping Zeldox. I have never given INFORMED CONSENT for any treatment I have received or which has been imposed on me over the past 17 or more years.
Because I have been on neuroleptics and atypical anti-psychotics for so long, I will probably need to withdraw over a two-year period — this is very painful and they never mentioned that I could become so dependant when they administered it to me.
I feel sick daily and have been sent for tests recently, due to my poor health because of this drug (Zeldox).
NOW, NOVEMBER 2011:
I have stopped all psychiatric medications– permanently.
I lost lots of weight and I have gained my physical and emotional
strength back… I am still working through the trauma:)
I have filed written complaints with the Ombudsman, Employers of my abusers and
Patient’s Rights Groups– I have deposited the written complaints on November 7th, 2011
I am preparing my SHIELD ALERT with MindFreedomInternational.org
I have become a Psyche Rights Activist !
THERE IS LIFE AFTER ABUSE AND AFTER BEING LABELLED BY THE MENTAL HEALTH INDUSTRY!!!
I AM THE 99%
HOLD ON …..AND RAGE ON!!!
Finally, I want to say the following:
Although I was forced-drugged for 17 years, I still am an eternal optimist and I have hope for my future.
I also have lots of love in my life (No money to speak of :(…but love)
I am very smart, happy and ready to make a big difference in the World.
I DON’T WANT PEOPLE READING THIS TO GIVE UP.
Some of us are now disabled —we have permanent damage to our brains and our souls—but it is not over….share your experiences.
People will learn from you and guard themselves from these evil, evil men and women who have chosen a profession of torture and abuse.
Don’t defend or support your abusers…Find people who understand you and gain strength through your union with them:)
The title, ”Courage grows strong at a wound” is Paula’s ”Stewart clan” Motto.
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